A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating in forever like honestly, I feel like a bitch. Sorry if the beginning of this chapter is kinda shitty... When I started writing it was at 2:20 am, It will get better. I'm really sorry, I won't be updating a lot now. School started. I will try so hard to update once a day, or at least once a week. :( Seriously though I'm especially sorry that I took sooo long to update.

Tris POV

"Yeah, yeah," I tell her. "So do you, what's going on with you and Mr. William?" I ask. "Will's good. We're good." I yawn. "Chris, I'm tired, can we go to bed?" I ask. "Sure, who wouldn't be tired after what you two did." She says wiggling her eyebrows. I punch her. "Ow!" She says rubbing her shoulder. "That's what you get!" I say. She pulls out the sofa bed. "You didn't deny it!" She curls up before I can say anything. "Night!" I disregard her previous comment. "Night."

Wednesday

"TRIS!" Christina shakes me. "Wake up!" I groan. "What?" She grabs my wrists and yanks me up. "It's 6:15! Your goddamn alarm has been going off for 15 minutes! It's driving me insane! Get ready!" Christina lets me borrow one of her smallest outfits. It's kind of cute. It is a dark gray T-shirt with a v-neck and some jeans. She says its her smallest and plainest outfit. We have a really fast breakfast- an Eggo waffle and bacon- and I brush my teeth with the toothbrush I keep here. I'm always here so I just left one here. "Come on Tris!" She drags me towards the door. I grab my phone off the table and we run outside. Despite the fact that it was pretty cold now, Christina opens up the roof of her convertible and plugs in her phone. She starts blasting Donald Trump by Mac Miller. Christina and I start singing it word for word. We reach the school, and she closes the roof. I see Caleb and wave at him briefly. I really want to avoid Tobias today, because I know he won't hurt me like he used to. I am trying to avoid him being the talk of the school. I'll tell him later so he doesn't think I am doing it purposely. I know he said he didn't mind it, but I feel like I should, to save his popular reputation. I hope that since I'm his girlfriend now, maybe he won't be seen as a jerk. In the hallway, my phone vibrates in my pocket. It's just a Twitter notification from Lauren. God I hate her.

_lalalauren_ said: Its official. Four is my homecoming date and bf!

Underneath that she tagged Four. I want to throw up. Just last night, he was kissing me and apologizing for being a jerk, and now he's dating another girl?! He told me his real name for Gods sake! I run out of the school on the edge of tears. I run to the opposite side of the school, and lean against the brick wall and bury my face in my knees. The tears spill over. I knew it was too good to be true. I hear a car pull up, and then the car door open, then shut. "Hey, Tris," Tobias says. I look up and see him smiling sweetly. His smile falters when he sees that I'm crying. He drops his backpack next to his car and starts walking towards me. I try to make a move to get up and run, the scenario all planned out in my head, but then he stops in front of me and I can't leave. He crouches to my level and says, "What happened?" I sob. He tries to hug me but I push him away. "Get away from me. You know what happened!" He looks confused. The look is convincing. It doesn't convince me. "No? Why don't you go talk to your girlfriend about it?" I yell angrily. "Girlfriend? Tris, what-" I cut him off. "Don't play stupid, Four!" I push past him and walk away. His phone vibrates. He looks at it and cradles his face in his hands. "It's not true!" He says before slumping against the wall. I think he is crying but I can't tell. It isn't like Lauren knew we were going out, so obviously it has to be true. I hear footsteps behind me. "Just get away!" I sob. "What did I do?" Christina says. Oh no. "You were going to be late, so I thought-" I cut her off and hug her, sobbing harshly into her shoulder. Her phone buzzes and I sob again. She looks at it. I can't believe my best friend, and boyfriend would do that to me. "I think we should go," she says. "Like, ditch?" I ask. "I guess..." she says. I sniff. "No, we can't," I say. "Okay, well then... Let's go. We still have exactly..." she looks at her phone. "Ninety seconds to get into that building!" We book it to inside. When homeroom as over, we have art. I am dreading art, so when Christina left for science, after I reassured her that I'd be fine, I run to the girl's bathroom and cry until art is over. I am pathetic. I look in the mirror to see if it looks like I had been crying. It does, so I throw water all over my face until the redness fades a little. I need Caleb right now, but Caleb can't know that I had a boyfriend and then they hurt me. Caleb hates him anyway. I go to my locker for math. Christina is in this class too. When I open the locker, a folded piece of paper falls out. I know it's from Four. I open it anyway. It says in really nice, big, bold cursive at the top;

I'm Candor

and then in small print,

(look it up)

There is a drawing of us sitting on the car, which is incredible considering he had no resource. Four is really talented at art. As much as I wanted to burn the picture, I couldn't do it. Maybe he was Candor... whatever that means. I pull out my phone and look it up.

can·dor

ˈkandər/

noun

the quality of being open and honest in expression; frankness.

"a man of refreshing candor"

Ah, yes, maybe he is. I doubt it though. I stick the picture in the deepest depths of my locker, where only I will find it. I still can't bear to see his face, but I can't miss two more classes. Math was hard. He isn't even in this class, but the number four was said several times. History was killing me, he was in this too, and so did music. The rest of the day was somewhat easier than the classes he was in. At lunch, I sat alone with Christina, earning us confused glances from the gang. Everything is the way it was two days ago. Except now, I'm sad and sitting alone. When school ended, I walk home with Caleb, trying to stay strong. I am successful and once we reach the door, I go straight upstairs.

Four POV

Why won't she just believe me? Lauren likes me and somehow found out about us. Tris and Lauren are like sworn enemies, so she started a rumor to turn her against me. I hope she forgives me soon enough, I don't think I can last. This sucks. Lauren sucks. My life sucks. I need to fix this, before I lose her for good. I have been sitting on the couch for about an hour now, watching a South Park marathon on Comedy Central. I decide I need to get off my lazy, depressed, ass and do something with my life. I walk outside, without a sweatshirt, and instantly regret it. The cold stings, but I don't care. I run and I don't know where I'm going. My sadness is replaced with anger. I won't lose her. I won't. I'll make sure of it. I will fight for her, even if she doesn't want me back, I need to know she believes me.

Tris POV

I lay on my bed. I have been here for the past like five hours watching a show on Netflix. I really am pathetic. Here I am, 17 years old. The last thing I expected I would be doing, is laying on my bed, eating cookie dough ice cream from the tub, and finishing a season and a half of Futurama. I love Futurama (A/N: I really do!), and watching five hours worth, took my mind off of Four for a while. It may have even killed a couple brain cells. At least I'm not focusing on a guy anymore, no, I'm focusing on an alcoholic robot named Bender. What have I done to myself? Who cares, I think most teenage girls go through this, it's just my turn now. You know, if Four doesn't want me, then he can- he can- uh... BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS. Yeah, that's it. Oh god, this show has really gotten to me. I continue watching the show until my eyes feel heavy with sleep. I click pause and succumb to sleep.

Thursday

UGH! Why must I get up? I pick up my phone. I have three texts from Four. Great.

4: I hope you believe its not true

4: once upon a time, something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that could ever be. A fantasy, a dream come true, it was the day that I met you.

That was actually the sappiest text ever.

4: Are you okay?

I can't believe he would ask that! He knows I'm not and it's all his fault, so I reply,

Stop asking me I'm okay... I'm tired of lying.

It doesn't seem right that he would do that to me.

4: Tris, its not true, if you just let me explain

T: You don't need to explain. I already know more than I wanted to.

I shut my phone off and cry. I fake sick so that I don't have to go to school. I lay in bed all day. It's not like I don't do anything, because that would just be boring. All day, I switch from watching Futurama, to watching MTV, to sleeping, to reading the Fault in Our Stars. Currently, I'm beginning season 3 of Futurama. I sigh. PATHETIC. To prove my point even further, I'm finishing off my third pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I even played a couple of songs on Guitar Hero. I wish I could just curl into a ball and hide from my problems. But this is reality. Here, in reality, I'm miserable. I can't even talk to my friends about the breakup. They would just be like, "Wait, you were dating Four?" and then Uriah would get overprotective and everything would be a mess. Breakups hurt really bad, and I just started dating him yesterday. I need to think positive things like, what will this robot steal next? Or who's going to guest star next on Ridiculousness? Why are so many pregnant teens on Mtv? What will happen in TFiOS? Actually, I can't think that. I already read the book and I saw the movie four times. It probably isn't good that I am reading a sad book after a breakup. I reach over to my side table to get my Pepsi can, when I realize that I still have Four's Erudite badge. I slip on a blue shirt and put the badge on. I put the badge under my shirt, because my parents wouldn't really approve of their daughter sneaking into a high-tech government agency. My parents got home a little under an hour ago. I tell them that I am going to get soup, and they buy that story. I'm not so sure that it would have fooled Caleb, had he been down here. I grab a clipboard and a pen. I drive to Erudite without music. I scan the badge and go inside. It's about 7:30 right now and some of the Erudite are gone, but there are definitely way more than when Four and I were here. I quickly walk into the Dauntless Room, avoiding attention as much as possible. Nobody exactly wants to ask questions when someone is carrying a clipboard in a scientific place. I step out onto the rooftop, and jump into the hole. The net cradles me, and for once in these past couple days, I am losing myself. It feels good. That's all I want. To feel good. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It smells like wind, sawdust, and something I can't make out, but I know it when I smell it. It is vague, but distinctly fresh and sweet... Like detergent. I open my eyes, and the stars seem more vibrant than usual. I want to sleep, to drift off to a place where problems are nonexistent and everything was perfect. I can't have that though. No, if I sleep, I'll get caught. I get caught, I'll probably get arrested. If I get arrested, my parents will want to know why I was there in the first place. I can't pin all of that on Four... Damn. Right now, I have to leave, and pick up soup. If I don't get soup, that entire plan would be screwed. I go to the closest place that sells soup, and get a carry-out bowl full of chicken noodle soup and a dinner roll. There was hardly any line and a lot of people working, so I was in and out in about three minutes. When I get home and I'm questioned about where I was, I lie and say that the line was long. I eat my soup, even though I didn't really want it, and then take a shower. I don't bother drying my hair, so I wrap it in a towel for a bit and then go to bed. I've been going to bed kind of early this week, a lot has happened. Things this week have come, and gone as quick as they came. Whatever.

Friday

I am in desperate need of this week to end. Thank the ever loving lord that its over. I am going to hang out with Uriah today, I almost forgot. I'll need to pull myself together and put myself out there. See a couple friends, get wasted at clubs. Yeah, no. I've never been too fond of alcohol. I don't even care that Four left me. No, I'm pissed that he lied to me. I walk to school with Caleb, like any other normal Friday. But unlike any other normal Friday, my clothes, usually cute and nice, are like my Monday clothes. Shitty and boring. "Beatrice, why are you so upset?" Caleb asks. Shit. "I'm fine." I try to sound confident, and I straighten up my posture. "Okay." We don't speak for the rest of the walk. My schedule this morning goes homeroom, math, then music, chemistry, and then art. Then lunch, and the rest of sucky classes I was required to take. Math wasn't too bad, I basically just tuned out the lecture. When I get to music, the only people in the room so far, is Uriah, Will, Marlene, Lynn, and other people I don't know. Ms. Wu, Tori, as she tells us to call her because Ms. Wu makes her feel old, sits on a stool in the corner of the room. I take a seat and wait for the rest of the class to come in. Christina comes in and sits next to me. I see Four come in and sit in the back corner. "Today we will be doing duets!" Tori calls out. "The picks are fair, it's all from a hat, or in our case, this plastic pail." She holds up a pail. "It has each of your names in it, and I'm having one of you pick. If you don't get your best friend, calm down. You aren't marrying the person, said every teacher ever. No but seriously, don't freak out." She says. "Okay, lets start! Lynn, why don't you pick?" Lynn rolls her eyes a bit, but comes to the front anyway. She draws the first name. "Peter." She says blankly. "And," she pauses to pull another. "And- shit, me." She scoffs. "Alright, just go make a line over there," Tori says pointing. "Marlene, come pick!" She pulls out two names at once. "Zeke and Drew." "Uriah! Get up here!" Tori calls. Uriah pulls a name. "Eric and Cara." He says. More names are pulled by people I don't know, calling people I don't know. I sit here waiting for my name patiently, while the others lean against the radiator on the wall. I hear a familiar name. "Four," he walks up. "Will and Gus." (A/N: I just had to!) He walks away and sits back down. "Christina, you pick." Tori says. Christina pulls the first name. "Four," she pauses to pluck the next name. "And," I see her tiny bit of shock for a second. "Tris." Oh shit. Why?! I take a frustrated deep breath. We walk up to the line. "Look, Tris-" he says only quietly enough for me to hear. I hold up a finger near his face. "Shut the fuck up for one minute, please!" He does. Once everyone is picked, Tori says, "Okay, everyone find a spot and discuss your song." We do. "Tris, I swear it's no-" Four starts. "Can we not talk about this? Can we just focus on the song?" He nods. We start throwing out ideas and then dismissing them because its 'too shitty' or 'that song is annoying and overplayed'. We never decide on a song. "Time's up! Tris and Four!" Tori calls. "Wanna go first?" You can't say no to Tori. "Yeah, sure." I say. "We didn't really get to pick out a song, so my shuffle on my phone will pick." I say to the class. I hook up the phone to the speaker. I have a lot of songs on my phone, so this really is a shot in the dark. It takes me about a minute to get into my music. I scroll to the top. There it is. The infamous shuffle button. My hand hovers over it, as if I had an option. No option. No turning back. I tap the button. Oh no... The song starts. Dark Horse. "Yeah y'all know what it is. Katy Perry! Juicy J. Uh huh. Lets rage." Four sings- well raps. I know where this is going. "I knew you were, you were gonna come to me and here you are but you better choose carefully cause I, I'm capable of anything, of anything, and everything. Make me your Aphrodite, make me your one and only. But don't make me your enemy. Your enemy. Your enemy! So you wanna play with magic? Boy you should know what you're falling for. Baby do you dare to do this? Cause I'm comin at you like a dark horse. Are you ready for, ready for, a perfect storm, perfect storm? Cause once your mine, once your mine..." I belt out. "There's no goin back." The entire class and I sing. "Mark my words, this love will make you levitate like a bird, like a bird without a cage, it doesn't hurt, if you choose to walk away, don't walk away. It's in the palm of your hand now baby it's a yes or a no, no maybe. So just be sure, before you give it all to me, all to me, give it all to me!" I sing turning towards him. We were a good ten feet apart. "So you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby, do you dare to do this? Cause I'm comin at you like a dark horse. Are you ready for, ready for, a perfect storm, perfect storm? Cause once your mine, once your mine..." "There's no goin back." I sing with the class. "Uh, she's a beast. I call her karma." Four starts. Damn. He's good at rapping too. "Comeback!" I say. "She'll eat your heart out, like Jeffery Dahmer." "Woo" I say. This gets a few giggles. "Be careful, try not to lead her on." He raps. "Mmm-mmm!" I say. "Shorty's heart is on steroids cause her love is so strong, you may fall in love when you meet her!" He says. We are inches apart now. "Meet her." I say. "If you get the chance you better keep her!" He says. "Keep her!" Christina yells out. I smile. "She swings by, but if you break her heart, she turns as cold as a freezer," "Freezer!" "That fairy tale ending with a knight in shining armor, she can be my sleeping beauty, I'm gon put her in a coma," he says. Yep. Good. "Woo!" He turns towards me and there is about six inches between us. I stare into those eyes. "Damn I think I love her, shorty so bad, I'm sprung and I don't care, she ride me like a roller coaster, turned the bedroom into a fair," "a fair!" I'm blushing now. "Her love is like a drug I was tryna hit and quit it, but lil' mama so dope I messed around and got addicted!" He finishes. "So you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby, do you dare to do this? Cause I'm comin at you like a dark horse. Are you ready for, ready for, ready for, a perfect storm, perfect storm? A perfect storm?! Cause once your mine, once your mine ohh!" I sing. "There's no goin back." We are still standing in our same spot, gasping for breath, just staring at each other, and then I remember. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't bring myself to look away. I can feel the tension between us. I don't want to kiss him, like those cliché parts in movies. I don't know if he wants to kiss me, but I don't think I can ever forgive him, never mind kiss him. My gaze is broken by the first clap. The applause erupts throughout the classroom. We even get some standing ovations. It feels good. We walk back to our seats, and none of the other duets get as much applause as we do. "I hope you enjoyed today's duets, you'll be working with these people for the rest of the month, maybe longer if I like the pairing." Tori says. "I know, I know, 'ugh shit, Tori you suck! You're the worst! I've heard it all. You will get over it, trust me. Now, get out, we'll finish duets tomorrow." I'm working with Four for a month? Thanks, Chris! Chemistry was easy, unless you count Ms. Matthew's countless attempts to try and get me to understand why salt was 'NaCl' on the periodic table. I don't even understand why the hell we have government staff as teachers. They can't just hire some shady homeless guy for minimum wage? No, it has to be the best of the best. Art class. Our art teacher is usually Ms. Reyes, but her and Tori switch positions sometimes, for what reason, I don't know. "Okay, guys, so I have to finish lesson planning, just free draw for now." I like art, and music, because I am more talented at them than any other subject. I start drawing mindlessly. There is a slanted line so far. The line eventually turns into a pair of cupped hands. I don't know how. I draw a flame just above the hands. Ms. Reyes says, "May I show the class?" I nod and hand her the paper. She holds it up. "This is potential! I expect this from all of you!" She says smiling. I wonder what Four drew. Four sits near the pencil sharpener, so that's where I go. I make sure not to make eye contact with him. I start grinding up my pencil in the manual sharpener instead of the the electric one. I twist my head around and see the side of what Four is working on. He is drawing a teddy bear in a basket.

Flashback, Beatrice; age 9

Tobias and I have been hanging out for about a week and I decided to take him out on a picnic for his birthday. "Where should it be?" He told me to meet him by the small pond, not far from where we live. Possibly not even a half a mile. "I'll bring everything." I say. Nobody has ever listened to me as much as he does. I reach the pond in about five minutes, and set down the basket. I have a gift for him, but nothing special. I take out the box and hand it to him. "Happy Birthday," I smile. "Oh! Beatrice, you didn't have to get me anything," I push the box closer to him. "Oh, shut up, you know I did. Even if I didn't have to I still would have!" He smiles. "Open it!" I say. He starts to carefully tear the wrapping paper. "It's not much..." I say. He looks in the box and takes each thing out carefully. The first thing he takes out is a small sketch pad. He told me he loved drawing, and writing, which is why the next thing he took out was a leather backed journal with a big "T" stitched into it. I also got him a digital camera and a bag of cherries. (I got this together this morning). He pulls out a little teddy bear. This one was kind of special. "It's one of those bears that tells you a story about what kind of person you are on the inside tag. Some of these are really strange, like its fortunes have supposedly come true." There is a six on the foot. It must be the sixth one. He opens the tag and reads it.

You are are a sweet, caring person, but you don't show it. You have a tough exterior and a soft inside. You are somewhat isolated but open up to your friends that trust and need you. You have a tender heart, and a way with words. You may be artistically talented, or you just enjoy artwork.

He pauses. "Did you like, customize this?" I shake my head. He continues.

Fortune: You will eventually put up walls, only to have them knocked down. You will have some association with the number six.

"That's a weird fortune." He says. He hugs me. "Thanks Beatrice. I appreciate it." I smile. "No problem, you're my best friend." "Hey there's a six on the paw!" We laugh. We eat and he puts the bear in the basket.

Present, Tris; art class

I almost trip and fall. He remembers that bear? The bear is perfect. He wrote the number 6 on a paw. He remembers? I need to get out of this class before I cry. "Okay! Class dismissed!" Mrs. Reyes says. I book it to lunch and find Christina. We wait in line for food together, but our usual table, usually half empty is filled up with our friends friends, and our friends's friends boyfriends and girlfriends, if that made any sense. "Shall we sit?" She points to open seats next to Four. Of all the places. "Is there anywhere-" I start. "No." I scan the cafeteria. Full. This is the one day of the year that everyone shows up. I sit down next to Four and he looks a little shocked. He looks at me, but then away just as fast. After a couple minutes, Christina goes to the bathroom, and I'm left here with Four. "Tris, just let me ex-" he starts. "No! Okay? I don't need an explanation! You cheated and now your feeling the guilt of it!" I turn away. "That's not it. Can you not cut me off? Tris just listen-" He says. "No! Okay?" "Tris..." I ignore him. Christina comes back. "So anyway..." She starts talking but I really couldn't hear her. I was too caught up in my thoughts. The rest of the day goes by slow but I ignore it. I sprint home and hop on my bed. Shit. I'm with Uriah today. I finish up my homework and get dressed. I drive to Uri's and knock on the door. Zeke answers it with a red solo cup in his hand splashing it on the floor as he does so. Loud music plays inside, and the house is filled up. He takes a huge gulp of whatever's in the cup. "Tris!" Zeke says. "Uriah's in the basement!" He yells over the noise. I go downstairs. "Sorry, I forgot Zeke's party was today." Uriah says. "So you have the option. Do you want to go upstairs to the party or just chill down here? We have video games... Checkers..." Uriah says. "I want to go upstairs." I've never been to a party. I think this will be a good first. A good way to get my mind off... You know who. "Oh," he looks taken back. "Okay." We walk up the stairs, and into the party. Someone shoves a cup of a brown liquid into my hand. I smell it. Alcohol. Brown plus alcohol equals beer probably. I taste it. It burns my mouth and leaves a sort of tingly sensation. I ignore the strange feeling and drink some more. I need to fit in here. "Whoa, take it easy there," Uriah says as I take another gulp. Zeke stands on a table clumsily, clearly buzzed and makes an announcement. "Kay! We're playing truth or dare, so if you don't wanna play, keep the fuck away from us." About 30 people go to the opposite side of the house. So that leaves my group, who must have just known to show up, and some of Zeke's friends. "Okay!" He says as we sit in a circle. "Truth or dare... Four?" He nods. God dammit, he's here? "Dare." "Kiss your crush." Zeke says. Four takes off his jacket. Thank god. Some turns pass until I hear my name. It's said by Lynn. "Tris, you know the question..." I nod. "Dare...?" "I dare you to try and out-drink Uri!" There are some whoops, and I'm seriously considering taking off this cardigan, but instead, I nod confidently. Zeke gets 20 shots of whiskey for us each."First to puke or pass out loses." Zeke says. "And... Go!" Uri and I start picking them up left and right and dumping them down our throats. Ew, this is really gross, but I can't show defeat. I finish my tenth one and I seriously feel like I am dying, but I don't need to go on, Uriah's done. He just threw up. I'm drunk now, not good. "Hehehe!" I fake high pitch girly giggle. "Ezekiel!" He flushes pink. "T or D?" I slur. "D!" He half-slurs. "Seven minutes with Shaunnaaaa!" I drag out. Seven minutes passes, and when we open the closet door, they are making out, like really passionately, so we shut the door. They come out soon enough, and Zeke passes the question to Four. "7 minutes. Tris. Now. Go." Four was currently in his shirt and underwear, because he was asked things like his name, fears, etc. He takes me to the closet. Everything is so bright and happy and just... Fuzzy. "Tris, sorry. You don't have to kiss me, we can just sit here. You know what, you don't have to look at me if you don't want to-" I kiss him, cause why not? He kisses back lightly, but then almost instantly pushes me away. I go back in, but he turns his face and lightly pushes me away again. "Come on!" I whine. "Tris, no. This isn't what you want. You're drinking, and it's not fair to you if I take advantage of it." I pull on his collar with one hand and play with the hem of his shirt with the other hand. I slide my hand up a few inches, and touch his muscular stomach. It's seriously like ripped. He flinches and jerks away, slightly reddening. "Tris, no!" He moves to the opposite corner and waits. Zeke comes in a couple minutes later and drags us- more me than him- out. I remember going to sit at Uriah's and Zeke's bar, and taking a shot of vodka. I beckon Four over, and slide a shot over to him. He looks down at the small glass, pondering his decision. He takes it, dumps it in his mouth, and carefully places the glass back down. "You need to stop drinking tonight, you're gonna get sick." I take a beer that had been left there and lift it a few inches above my head as I dump it in my mouth. Being my drunken self, I pour it on my face a lot. Then, I fall off the stool and black out. That's when I remember. Life is something to cherish. I may have just fucked mine up.

A/N: hey! Sorry for not updating, but I'm working on a new story now, so um, yeah, check it out when it's posted. Hope you liked this, I'm not so sure about it but I tried! Anyway it might be a bit before another update on this story, so hang tight!

~B