Fade Into You
A/N: Ok, now we're getting into the actual story. There is a time-lapse of two weeks between the end of "Once More, With Feeling" and Angelus demanding "his Slayer." This is my way of filling in what happened between those two events and setting up Buffy and Spike's relationship which needed to already be established before she meets with Angelus or she never would've gotten involved with Spike beyond that kiss in the alley.
The Dream
Buffy stared at her surrounding in confusion for a brief moment before recognized where she was. Or wasn't since she burned this particular warehouse to the ground after Angelus snapped Ms. Calendar's neck like a twig.
There was Spike – looking every inch the Big Bad – stroking one hand down Drusilla's fine brown hair as they watched their Sire before them.
And it was definitely Angelus.
From the leather pants to the smirk to the posture that screamed confidence and power, that body that taught her the gentlest of touches and some of her worst emotional pain was Angelus.
The funny part was nothing Angelus did ever came close to breaking her.
Not once.
Only Angel – sweet, soulful Angel – was the one with that dubious honor.
She couldn't hear what they were saying, only one phrase carried to her over the white noise that pervaded her prophetic Slayer visions.
"To kill this girl you have to love her…"
The scene changed turning into the blank walls and sterile environment that was almost – but not quite – the peaceful setting that she spent her death in until Willow and the others pulled her back down to Earth.
"Never were truer words spoken."
Buffy recognized that voice.
Turning she faced the never-changing figure of Whistler as he propped himself in all his badly-dressed glory against one of the plain white walls.
"I know that better than anyone." She agreed with an arch look at the messenger. "I've died twice and twice it was to save those I loved. First my Mom and the rest of my friends in Sunnydale, then to save Dawnie. Believe me, I'm well-aware of my fatal-flaw."
Whistler tsked at her.
"There's more going on than what you think." He said with a shrug. "You needed to see that for a reason. Just like you need to see what's coming next. Otherwise…"
"Let me guess," she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Let's see if I've learned anything these last six years of Slaying. Willow meddled with things she wasn't supposed to when she brought me back. I know it. Spike knows it. Giles knows it. Hell, everyone knows it except for Willow herself. If I had to take a stab at what you're trying to warn me of, I'd say my unplanned reanimation tipped the balance somewhere and now Big Bads of massive proportions are coming out of the woodwork."
She gave his indulgent face a sarcastic look.
"How'd I do?"
"Pretty close." He admitted after a moment. "You were supposed to be at peace. The only reward for a Slayer has always been her final rest. In all the thousands of years Slayers have been around, only a handful ever lived passed eighteen. Of those, none ever died and came back twice over. You're not just a Slayer, you've become The Slayer…"
"And the other team doesn't like that. Joy." She gave a mock-sigh. "Just when I thought things weren't going to get any weirder, you have to show up with a whole new bag of wiggins."
"You're going to get a call soon." Whistler said, treading carefully close to the line. He can't say too much or the Powers will visit some hideous punishment on him. But if he doesn't give her enough, things are going to go to Hell. Literally. "There are two paths for you to choose from coming. Choose carefully." He gave her a stern look. "What you see next is supposed to help you decide. I don't agree with it…but then…I'm just the messenger."
With that he snaps his fingers and she's sucked through what looks suspiciously like a black-hole.
oOoOoOo
"Are ya sure about this?" An Irish voice confronted Whistler as Doyle stepped out from his hiding place. "I still say you're not givin' the lass enough credit. With all she's been through she's not the same shiny-haired lass that Angel fell in love with. I don' know that pushin' her down this road is wise."
"Don't underestimate her." Whistler gave his co-conspirator a firm look. "You don't know the Slayer like I do. You didn't see the look in her eye when I handed her that sword before she sent Angelus to Hell. She might've been all fire then but she's been tempered and changed by death and time. She won't break."
"Angelus," Doyle pointed out needlessly. "Burns hotter than the flames of any Hell dimension. Especially when it comes to that lass. A fire that bright could melt even the toughest steel."
"Maybe." Whistler allowed with a sigh, running his hand over his head. "But it's a chance we have to take. If the Slayer is going to survive at all she'll need both of them with her. This is the only way I can see her accepting them in her life. A dark path is better than no path at all."
oOoOoOo
When she came out the other side of the black hole she was nothing more than a ghost again, watching scenes pass her by as she stood there helpless to change anything.
She saw herself storm into Angel's office after his stalkerish Thanksgiving visit to Sunnydale. She saw the demon, the attack, and the chase turn out all very differently that what she remembered.
Than what she thought she remembered.
She saw herself standing on a pier – and then Angel her Angel walking towards her in the sunlight, as human as a dream.
She saw them sitting awkwardly in his kitchen.
She saw them making frantic love against the refrigerator – followed by every other flat surface in his apartment and culminating in ice cream-flavored kisses in his bed.
Then things changed.
She saw him go to the Oracles.
She saw the deal he made.
Then Buffy felt that last vestige of love that she carried around for the man dissipate as if it never been, replaced by a yearning that the monster had carried out his gruesome tasks those years ago.
Either killing her or turning her because either of those would've hurt less than watching them get everything they'd ever wanted – a chance at a normal human life together – and have Angel throw it all away from some misguided need to protect her.
Like she needs protecting by him.
More like protection from him and his shitty decision-making skills.
Then she saw something that truly filled her with rage.
Both at Angel and at the Powers That Be.
Buffy watched helplessly as a light – a soul – was pulled from her.
Not from her heart or her chest where souls reside based on what Angel told her once of what it felt like to have his soul shoved back inside him. No, her soul was more or less safe.
The light – the soul – came from another source.
It came from between her hips, right over where her womb would be.
And Buffy fell into a black wave a rage that seemed to never end.
oOoOoOo
"The lass isna taking this well." Doyle watched Buffy in true concern as she screamed herself hoarse. "Not that I thought she would but…"
"Hush." Whistler demanded, not sparing a glance for his accomplice.
oOoOoOo
When she woke from her rage, Buffy found herself shackled inside a shadowed cave, filled with strange, primitive cave-drawings. Taking stock she noted that her hands were free but one of her ankles was secured by a manacle into the solid bedrock. Giving it a few practice tugs, she realized that she couldn't break the chain that bound her. Not without finding a weapon of some kind.
Her plans for escape were disrupted when a quartet of what had to be African tribesman walked solemnly into the cave and surrounded her, each taking a point until she was at the very center of their little box. Not sparing a glance or a word for her bound form, the four men began chanting and banging their ritual staves upon the stone floor. Hearing a few words she recognized from her vision quest where she met the First Slayer, Buffy felt herself begin to panic.
She didn't know what the fuck was going on but she knew for sure she didn't want any part of it.
"Hush, pet." The words carried to her on the wind, the voice achingly familiar in this dark place. "Tis only a dream, luv."
Buffy could almost feel the cold, elegant hand stroking her hair.
As the chanting got louder and the beating of the staves more rhythmic, Buffy felt something begin to rise, both within herself and within the box the chanting tribesmen have placed her in.
A black mist rose from within the shadows and started swirling around her in a vortex.
"This is where our power came from." The First Slayer stepped from the shadows, unexpectedly eloquent, as the clearly-demonic power threatened to consume her. "They bound me here and let it take me. I was only a girl but they thought a girl would be easy to control."
The two Slayers shared a vicious grin. "Foolish men." The First Slayer said with a laugh and a shake of her head.
"What is this going to do to me?" Buffy asked, resigned. She knew now why Whistler warned her about what was coming next – and why he didn't agree with it. Letting a Champion be consumed by a demonic-entity is usually not for the good.
"It will help you see what we really are." The First Slayer said cryptically. Buffy hates the fucking cryptic. "It will help you find what you will need."
And then Buffy was lost as the black mist possessed her.
oOoOoOo
Buffy snapped her eyes open with a gasp as she jolted into awareness. Her mind screamed at her that it was all a dream but her new-and-improved Slayerness just snorted in derision and rolled its eyes at her mind – if such a thing was possible.
The Angel thing…that was a vision, a dream. Not a very good one since it unlocked a secret that Angel was clearly willing to do just about anything to keep.
But it was still a dream, like the scene in the warehouse.
Although dreaming of Angel's betrayal, Angelus's prior emergence, and getting a power upgrade via demon-dust isn't exactly a trio of events that inspired the warm-fuzzies. If she wasn't sure before, she was sure now.
She came back wrong.
A large part of her light…her goodness…that piece of her that drew people to her and inspired the Scoobies to follow her had been lost in her afterlife.
Now that she was living in her after-afterlife she's having prophetic dreams again and getting demon-mist shoved down her throat.
Although…that might not be a bad thing.
The First Slayer said that the mist, the source of the ancient Slayer power, would help her "find what she needs." Not that Buffy has the slightest idea…
Oh my God!
She's in Spike's crypt!
Before she could so much as squeal or start to freak out, the man er, vamp, himself sauntered around the corner towards the large bed she was still reclining on.
"Good to see you're up, pet." He said with a flirtatious smirk. "Singin' and dancin' all day n bloody night plus a good snog must've really taken it out of ya."
Buffy just rolled her eyes as she climbed from his bed – thankfully still mostly dressed except for her jacket and boots. She remembered now going with Spike back to his place to avoid the angsty-drama that was sure to be her house following the aftermath of Sweet's spell. She can still hear some of the words from the previous day ringing in her ears.
Tara and Willow breaking up over Willow's misuse of magic.
Dawn's shoplifting.
Giles deciding to leave again.
Xander being as hopeless as ever, summoning the demon in the first place.
But it's her own song – and Spike's – that really haunts her.
"This isn't real, but I just wanna feel…"
"Let me take my love, and bury it, in a hole six foot deep…"
"I touch the fire and it freezes me…"
"Just let me rest in peace…"
"I look into it and it's black…"
"I died, so many years ago…but you can make me feel…"
Yeah, Sweet had it right when he said that secrets just kept pouring out. Who would've guessed after all that Spike would be the one to stop her deadly dance? Or that she would leave everyone else at the last moment to go out and share poignant duet and a stunning kiss with the chipped vampire…
"Once more, with feeling." She murmured as she tugged on her boots.
Spike heard it and knew what was plaguing her mind. They'd both revealed a helluva lot more to each other than they'd would've wanted to. But that's the nature of the beastie. Muck everything off and then enjoy the resulting carnage.
"You weren't dreamin' of yesterday when you were screamin' in your sleep, pet." He said as he took a drink straight from the whiskey bottle held loosely in one hand. "And you were screamin' to wake the dead, Slayer."
"No," she looked at him out of eyes even more haunted than normal since her return from Heaven. "I wasn't."
Arching a brow at this sudden bout of honesty he leaned up against the wall of his lair as she sat wearily on the edge of his bed, having tired after pulling on her boots.
"Care to share with the class, luv?" He asked. "Since I did hold you through it, I'd like to know what the bloody hell it was about. It wasn't a normal nightmare by any stretch, pet."
"It wasn't a nightmare." She sighed, staring up at the rocky ceiling. "Not really."
"Slayer vision, then?" Alert now, Spike pushed off the wall and came over to crouch in front of his – well he'd like her to be his – girl. "Bad one?"
"Mixed bag of wiggins." She said, looking him straight in those vibrant blue eyes. "I don't know what to make of it." Besides the whole demon-mist thing. That part she actually understands. Vampires are demon-kin. Bastard creatures created by mixing true demon blood with humans. To hunt demon-kin in the ancient times you would need something just as powerful.
Who cared if they were essentially dooming countless innocent girls to death and possession by a terrible force, an ever-hungry, ever-hunting, never-satisfied power?
They needed their Slayer.
Oh yeah, she understood that part of her vision alright. She's been living it for years. Men more concerned with their own survival than with right or wrong. She's seen it over and over again in humans – not least among the Watcher's Council – and demons alike.
It's the rest of her that's thrown her for a loop.
"Care to share, Slayer?" Spike reached out and chafed her chilled hands, trying to reassure her without overstepping the invisible and constantly-shifting boundaries she kept throwing up in their way.
"It was all things from the past." She said after several long moments, her brow furrowed as she considered that oddity. "That's never happened before. Usually my visions are of future and near-future events. Not things that've already happened."
"What kinda things, pet?"
"Did Angelus ever talk to you about how to kill me?" She asked abruptly, wanting to check the factual content of her visions. She wouldn't put it passed the Powers to screw with her to manipulating her into doing what they want.
And something big must be coming if they want her ties to Angel completely severed.
Now Spike was the one confuse, rearing back on his heels as he watched the churning emotions crossing her face and stirring in her eyes. There was something else there, in those green depths. Something dark that wasn't there before. At least, not completely. Something woke something up in the Slayer. Whether that's good or bad remains to be seen.
"Yeah he did, pet." He answered after a while. "You had both of them – Peaches and the Scourge - all tied in knots. Couldn't decide if he wanted to break ya, or turn ya, or just kill ya. Or all three. Made him go a little mad there at the end."
"Yeah," she said breathlessly as the full-importance of his confirmation crashed down on her. She'd lost something. Something big. Before she even knew she had it. All because Angel couldn't handle being a normal human. Because he had to protect her.
To borrow a phrase from Spike – the bloody ponce.
"You ok, pet?"
"Yeah," she shook her head in an attempt to clear it. Bigger picture, Buffy. There was a thing or things out there that she needed to find and her new demony-essence is supposed to help her do it. "Yeah, I'm fine. Looks like something big and bad is coming and for once they've given me a decent heads-up. There's something I need to find. Something that has to do with me being the Slayer."
"Any idea what?" Spike arched a brow. Slayer-lore is it? Well, she's talkin' to the right vamp, he knows a thing or two about Slayers.
"I'm not sure." She said as she climbed to her feet and grabbing his hand tugged him towards the ladder. "But I think I know where to start looking."
