Betrayal and Turkey.
Chapter Eight.
By Hopping Hamster.
Paramount own Star Trek and its characters, I give them the fun they need to be real.
A/N Thank you all for your lovely reviews and interest in this story. This is an old old old story of mine which I have recently found again on my laptop and though I would share it, I am glad I did! I have had three reviews with questions, normally I would simply PM a reply but they are all from Guest reviewers so can't reply… so have to do it on here…
I am currently in the middle of a new and LONG story some of you are reading called 'Timings Lost' which takes a lot of time and effort as well as emotional energy for me to write. It has grown and escalated far more than I ever imagined so is much longer and bigger, as I said above this story is an old one and was written years ago, so no I am not putting 'Timings Lost' on hold for this one, I am writing for 'Timings Lost' every day but it is taking a long time. Thank You all for your support as I try to finish all my stories.
Why in the 24th century is Kathryn so badly injured?... Hummm as I said old story (one of my first) so some plot issues…. No reason other than it was needed for my story, ignore that fact… imagine!
Yes I suppose Chakotay is being a whining wimp but I would be if my fiancé treated me the way Kathryn did him and his unborn child.
THANK YOU… Enjoy!
"To hell she is Sam!" " B'Elanna yelled in the face of her startled friend. The half Klingon was raging and nothing and nobody was going to stop her getting what she wanted as she screamed "get her out here or I'm going in there!"
"B'Elanna don't do this!" Sam begged as she glanced awkwardly across the den at the closed door behind which was Kathryn's private rooms, where she was now laid resting.
B'Elanna was furious as she folded her arms across her elegant ball gown she was wearing in green satin "the reunion started three hours ago. Don't you dare tell me she isn't coming" B'Elanna almost growled as she eyed poor Sam Wildman with her furious stare.
"B'Elanna I know your angry" Sam whispered softly "but she's upset and in a lot of pain"
B'Elanna softened her anger just a little as she sighed but was unrelenting with her demands "Sam don't think I don't care but right now I don't give a dam!"
"Is this about Chakotay?" Sam asked firmly knowing what the answer would be. Every member of the Voyager crew had seen what a problem getting Chakotay back would be, everyone except B'Elanna. Though if she was honest she had seen it because she had decided not to tell Kathryn of Chakotay's arrival until it was too late for her to do anything about.
B'Elanna softened. She didn't want to have an outright argument with Voyager's chief science officer and Kathryn's new personal aid "Sam don't do this!" she hissed. She knew Sam only had Kathryn's best interest at heart and right now B'Elanna couldn't decide who she was rooting for. She knew Kathryn, an outright abortion of her baby didn't seem like her. She knew she had to get all the facts before she passed judgement but Kathryn out right refusing to even show her face at the reunion wasn't her and it angered her a lot.
"B'Elanna she doesn't want to be at the party, she's staying" Sam insisted. Kathryn had employed her to do this job and she would do it to the best of her ability. She loved Kathryn.
"like I said like hell she is!" hissed the half Klingon not backing down when Sam equally didn't back down B'Elanna softened a little and asked "why aren't you at the party?"
"I won't leave her" Sam told her friend meeting her eyes, a silent understanding passed between the two. B'Elanna realised shear frustration was not going to get her an audience with Kathryn Janeway any time soon.
"Please Sam just five minutes" B'Elanna whispered. If Klingons begged you could be sure that's what B'Elanna was doing at that moment.
"She's won't talk to anyone since Chakotay left earlier" Sam told her sounding almost sympathetic to her friends plea.
"I know" sighed to beautiful half Klingon woman who even in her heavily pregnant state looked beautiful "and I know why. I have talked with him"
"You talked to Chakotay?" came a deep husky voice from the now open doorway behind where the two friends were having a standoff.
"Kathryn..." B'Elanna hissed softly turning to face the small injured red headed woman who had once stood so tall and brave.
"How is he?" she asked forcing herself to walk forward while her eyes stayed fixed on B'Elanna.
"Hurt, confused" B'Elanna told to older woman as Sam rushed to her side to help her stand upright "angry"
Kathryn regarded B'Elanna for a long time with narrowed eyes before nodding and saying in a deep voice "the sooner he leaves for Trebus again the better"
"How can you stand there so high and mighty and say that?" B'Elanna was fuming as Kathryn for what she was done and how prepared she was to brush Chakotay and his feelings aside as though they didn't matter.
"do I look high and mighty to you?" it was Kathryn's turn to be full of fury as she regarded the two women stood before her, a sudden look of shock drawn across both their faces.
"Kathryn I care about you" B'Elanna told her meeting her eyes and stepping forward in defence "and I'm grateful for all you have given me and tom" Kathryn tilted her head as B'Elanna set her gaze, they both knew something was coming. B'Elanna took a long deep breath and said "but Chakotay is and always will be a brother to me" Kathryn raised an eyebrow and was not disappointed when B'Elanna stated with full meaning in her words and therefore his children my nice or nephew"
Kathryn held her eyes for a long and silent moment as her breathing quickened before she nodded stiffly and said firmly "five minutes" B'Elanna let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as both women glanced the blonde haired science officer who clearly wanted to protest. Kathryn raised her palm before her friend and aid could say anything and whispered "please Sam?"
"Kathryn?" Sam asked almost horrified Kathryn would agree to such a meeting given the state she had been in since Chakotay left earlier.
"I'm not going to attack her Sam" B'Elanna whispered trying to reassure her friend in a humours way. When Sam merely stared at her looking completely unconvinced the half Klingon growled "really" then turning back to Kathryn who was shifting herself into her arm chair she stated "there is just something Kathryn needs to hear"
"Sam" Kathryn sighed looking up at her faithful aid. Sam looked firmly from one to the other and then without a word turned on her heal and left. Kathryn knew she would be back the second the conversation became heated too long. Somehow B'Elanna knew it too.
"I'm missing the party for this so you had better listen up" B'Elanna almost growled at her friend.
Kathryn smiled a crooked smile and folded her arms before saying "I'm all yours"
"He loves you, he always has and you treated him like utter trash because you weren't ready for a child." B'Elanna decided to go in for the kill. No beating about the bush in her limited time. "A child didn't fit into your almighty federation career plan. Am I right?"
"No a child didn't fit" Kathryn snapped at her with defence "it was an inconvenience and I was scared and alone"
"You weren't alone" "you had Chakotay and you had me and tom"
"Chakotay and I were already fighting and falling apart" "it didn't work for us in the delta quadrant and it sure as hell wasn't working for us in the alpha quadrant"
B'Elanna couldn't accept that. Setting her face and folding her arms she asked seriously "do you love him?"
The question took Kathryn so by surprise all she snapped out was "what?" surprised by the sudden and direct question.
"Do you love him?" B'Elanna repeated firmly with seriousness and insistence in her voice.
Kathryn stood and stared for a long time contemplating what her answer should be. Did she love him? She had once but did she still? Could she love him after all this time? Closing her eyes she hung her head and nodded "yes" she told her friend "yes I do" she managed to open her sapphire eyes full of emotion as she shook her head "but he's happy on trebus and I could never go there, they don't have the medical care I would need"
"If he said he would leave trebus for you would you build a life with him?" Kathryn closed her eyes as she dreamed of what would be should she and Chakotay had made their engagement work.
"Oh B'Elanna I really wish it were that simple but it's not" she told her friend with a heavy burdened heart.
"It can be" B'Elanna stated with firm assurance on the matter.
"He hates me" Kathryn whispered as she sadly turned from her friend. "Its better we all let the past lie"
B'Elanna was truly shocked to realise that was actually what Kathryn thought she shook her head and grabbed Kathryn's shoulder to force her to look at her as she insisted "he doesn't hate you, he's hurt and angry but he certainly doesn't hate you." when Kathryn closed her eyes and shook her head fighting back her tears B'Elanna asked in a much softer tone "what happened Kathryn?"
"Well I suppose we could have worked in the delta quadrant when working for a common desire, our only dream and purpose" Kathryn whispered as far off distant memories of lunches in her quarters and stolen moments in the ready room filled her mind.
"But in the alpha quadrant?" B'Elanna prompted knocking into Kathryn's happy memories with a shattering reminder of what changed.
"he wanted to go to trebus, I wanted Starfleet" she whispered deeply "he would have stayed with me here but I knew he wouldn't really be happy" she was sincere in that and B'Elanna knew it's because she cared she let him go "then I found out I was pregnant, oh B'Elanna we were both so happy" her face shone with joy in a broad smile which surprised B'Elanna but she knew she meant it.
"Chakotay always dreamed of a child" B'Elanna whispered "he's always wanted to be a father" her words were not to hurt or devastate Kathryn they were a simple fact that they both knew.
"I know" Kathryn said stiffly "but that was his dream not mine" all the joy of her mentioning her child gone from her face.
"He can't have a child alone. How could you take that from him?" B'Elanna asked. She had come here to demand the truth and demand she come to the party. Now the moment was here she didn't feel very happy about it.
Kathryn stared her in the face watching where she was coming from. Then with a deep breath she told her painful story and B'Elanna hung on every word not wanting to interrupt. "I was happy B'Elanna I wanted that child as much as he did but I was so frightened. I didn't want my child to grow up like I did with a parent half there and half not. Distant yet not absent. That is what I couldn't allow as I had grown up. When Chakotay suggested I moved to trebus that way I could keep my rank with Starfleet I was frightened. Trebus is so far away, I didn't know it, all my friends and family were here. My security. I turned him down, I told him I would terminate the foetus in the morning, I couldn't see her as a child then, or rather I didn't want to. I gave his ring back, I knew he could never forgive me, he could never be with a woman who aborted his baby" tears seemed down Kathryn's face as she whispered "he begged he to reconsider, begged me to let him raise the child alone on trebus if that's what I wanted. I was confused and frightened I didn't know what I wanted. The idea of my child alive, star systems from me knowing nothing of her mother I hated more than the idea of a distant admiral for a mother. I told Chakotay that idea could never be, and I walked away promising to sort it by the morning."
B'Elanna held her eyes as she asked "he didn't stop you?"
"No" Kathryn sighed "I did, I went to see the doctor in the morning. I was a confused and emotional mess, he asked me to talk to a counsellor, he an arranged for me to see Will Riker's wife"
"Deanna?" B'Elanna gasped knowing the enterprise's ex bridge counsellor was the best there was.
Kathryn smiled "yes, great woman she is. She helped me see the problem, helped me understand I couldn't destroy the life within me because of my fear and not without the fathers constant. She the Doctor and I agreed that I was to give Chakotay the child's full custody upon birth. Deanna was going to go and see him. I don't know what happened there" Kathryn shook her head.
"Wait hang on!" B'Elanna was shocked "you didn't abort the child?"
"No!" Kathryn was horrified "I don't think I would have ever really gone through with it. The Doctor knew that so he got me to see sense and talk to Deanna. Since I lost the baby a week later I know I would never have aborted my child. Chakotay's child, his daughter. I could never raise a child but Chakotay would have and still might make a fine and beautiful father." Kathryn turned away slightly and let her body tremble with her falling tears as she whispered "I tried so hard to keep his child in me but she died within. I tried oh B'Elanna I tried" B'Elanna was wide eyed as he placed a gentle hand on Kathryn's shoulder as the older woman continued "it didn't matter anyway, his child was lost to me and he hasn't forgiven me since. I tried to tell him, I sent a message on the com I told him how sorry I was, how I was no longer pregnant and I begged his forgiveness." B'Elanna was playing Chakotay's words over in her head from that afternoon the same story from two peoples point of view B'Elanna went to say something when Kathryn finished her story "he sent me a recorded message, I saw the hate and pain in his eyes as he told me he was leaving for trebus, that if I had any dignity and decency I would be at his send off and stand and watch him go. So I did. B'Elanna you ask how I could take the child from him I tell you I wish my body had been stronger, worthier to carry his child and I thought with all I had to keep his child alive. The pain I felt that day was nothing to the pain I know he feels"
B'Elanna couldn't think what to say or do. How could this have happened? He was angry with her for what he thought she had done and she hated herself for what was out of her control thinking that was the reason for his anger. "Kathryn" B'Elanna whispered deeply meeting her eyes "he thinks you did abort the child, that's why he's so angry"
