iCarly: iMeet the Relatives, Chapter 22: Confusion

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I don't own iCarly. The show, I mean, not the girl. Uhm, I don't own the girl either…oh, you know what I mean.

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Chapter 22: Confusion

Grif's dining room table had become an impromptu war room. Jemiah had told them they'd need to come to his headquarters for a full report, but for now, they were gathering together what information they could here in Grif's apartment.

Both of them were bent over the three-dimensional image of the planet Earth, that showed that suspicious spot of blackness. They'd already ruled out any normal event, such as a shadow of space debris, or some environmental factor. The only thing left….

"And, I understand, the water level in Lake Superior has dropped by an infinitesimal amount. And weather patterns are changing, ever so slightly. That's in keeping with….what we fear. The Darkness would basically 'unravel' any matter that it came into contact with, whether water or air, creating a kind of vacuum effect." Gryphon shook his head. "That 'hole in space' your people discovered must have something to do with it, but what?"

"It's a long way from Lake Superior. It may have nothing to do with the Darkness. But I agree, the timing is suspicious. Is there any information on how it might have been….what, generated? Holes in space don't just appear."

"We can't seem to find one. It was … just there." Their attention was drawn by Carly, Sam, Jillian, and Brittney

"Devlin?" Brittney approached him, shyly. "The others…they're taking me home. I, I just wanted to, to…see you before I left."

"Oh. Well, it isn't goodbye, you know. We still need to know how you ended up in the Darkness. But yes, I can understand your desire to go home. We'll be in touch." He offered his hand.

She moved closer, eyes watering slightly. "Look. I-I know this is cliché to the max, but if I don't do this, I'm positively gonna explode." And with that, she threw her arms around his neck and drew the surprised demon into a scorching kiss.

And something amazing happened.

Normally, when demons absorb emotions from humans, the process all goes one way, for the most part. Devlin had always heard that it was dangerous for humans to experience demons' emotions directly, unfiltered by the demons' own self-control, as they were so much more powerful than human ones. So extreme care had to be exercised so as not to "burn" the human on the other end.

But when Brittney kissed him, he felt an exchange of emotions, her emotions, a complex mix of gratitude, a huge crush, and quite a bit of physical lust, flowing into him, and his….flowing into her. But far from "burning" her, he could tell she was…

Pleasured by it. There was no other word for it. Even as he was.

She broke away, looking up at him bashfully. "I hope I didn't offend you. I'd…like to see you again. Call me?"

"Uhm…" He actually found himself fumbling for words. That had never happened before. What had happened to his normal demonic composure? What was going on here? "Er, of course. As I said, we…we have to find out why you were in the Darkness. I, I will call you. About that, I mean." What was that peculiar look Sam was giving him? Well, it didn't matter. She was old news.

"Okay. See ya?" She turned to go.

"Certainly." The group left. Grif had told Jillian to accompany them…just in case. The demon girl hadn't been too pleased by that, but she had acquiesced, grumbling. Grif firmly believed that if Jillian couldn't complain, her whole head would explode.

Grif was looking at him with a carefully concealed smile. "Seems you've made a new friend."

"Please. She's a mortal. And we've more pressing concerns, right now."

They reported to Jemiah's Headquarters in the Columbia Central building. "We've been monitoring the intrusion. There's no doubt what it is. But so far, it hasn't grown, expanded, whatever you wish to call it. I suppose that's the good news.

"But the bad news, of course, is that it's here in the first place."

"And there's no doubt? It's an extension of the Darkness?"

"None. It appeared about the same time as the quake that signaled your being drawn into the Darkness. Your people, BenDarian, found the spacial warp that we're calling the 'hole.' We've been unable to move it…and there seems to be no mechanism of generation."

Devlin rubbed his chin, sitting there in the chair in Jemiah's office. "Perhaps the generator is not in this universe."

"That's what we're thinking now. But it's not wide enough to accommodate anyone to actually go through it and see…if we even dared do that."

"I can check with my Uncle Darian….as I'm sure you know, my home dimension is in contact with more than one universe. Perhaps we can find something out from our end."

"That would be most helpful."

….

The quartet sat in the taxi in relative silence, watching the city go by. Brittney hated that she had to rely on her new friends for everything. She resolved to pay them back every dime.

But…she knew she could never repay Devlin for all he'd done. Not only had he rescued her from her accident in the bathtub, but, according to the others (and she saw no reason to doubt any of it), he'd saved her from a literal fate worse than death: complete nonexistence in this thing they called the Darkness. What would she have done without him?

She didn't know what to make of this part about him being a demon. In all honesty, she'd never really believed in demons, or angels, and still didn't, really, if it came down to it. But she couldn't deny he'd done what no mortal could have done.

They might call him a demon, but he'd been an angel to her. An angel when she needed one the most.

And she found the notion of never being able to repay him….kinda exhilarating. It might be fun to try. "It's just down this way," she told them. "Right around that corner, and down two blocks. The Westwood Heights apartments." It would be so very, very good to be home. The taxi driver turned down the street indicated….

…..and Brittney's mouth dropped open in surprise. Because right where her apartment complex had been…

….was a four-story parking garage, right next to a small hospital. Neither one looked new. "I…I don't understand. I can't have been mistaken….!"

"It's alright, Brit." Carly reassured her, "You probably just forgot the directions. With all that's happened to you, that's no surprise. We'll just look it up…." She already had her Pear phone out….

….except the browser couldn't seem to find any "Westwood Heights Apartments." "Uhm." She asked the taxi driver, "This is 3182 Linwood, isn't it?"

"Yes, ma'am. See?" He showed her the GPS on his dashboard. The pulsing dot was dead center. "That's us. 3182 Linwood."

"But…but…." Brittney was confused. "How…I mean….I've lived here for two years! There's never been a parking garage or hospital anywhere close by….!"

"Wait, wait, Brit. Just calm down. Obviously, there's some mistake. Tell me about landmarks. What's nearby your apartment?"

"I….there's a Baskin-Robbins two blocks down. That's where I work…." But two blocks in the indicated direction only led them to a Burger King. "I…I don't understand…"

Neither do I, thought Carly. Sam and Jillian had been quiet throughout the proceedings. Carly could swear that Sam was acting rather peculiar around Brittney. (But why?) Jillian just sucked it up in silence, arms crossed over her chest, scowling. She clearly didn't want to be here. Why couldn't she be where the action was? Babysitting mortals…how demeaning. "Okay. Well, we need to regroup. Here." She spoke to the driver, pointing to the Burger King. "Pull in here. We'll just go ask."

"Yes, Ma'am."

With the meter running, the four passengers went into the Burger King. "Excuse me," Carly asked the clerk, "but could you tell us if there's a Westwood Heights Apartments around here?"

"Westwood? No, ma'am. Never heard of it. Certainly not around here."

"What about a Baskin-Robbins? Is there one of those in this area?"

"I don't know of one around here, ma'am. Now, there's one over across the river; but that's the only one I know of."

"It…it's not across the river, I know that," Brittney stuttered. "But...but, I mean…" How? How could this be happening? I know I'm not THAT turned around!

As the four stood there in the middle of the fast food restaurant, they attracted the attention of two young men sitting by the window. Hm. Nice. Especially the blonds. One of them cleared his throat, preparing to speak to them. Maybe he'd get their phone numbers….

….and then the dark haired girl dressed in red turned and gave them such a ferociously intimidating look that they both hurriedly looked away, studying their food. Girls? I don't see no girls.

This is a really good Whopper.

….

At Carly's suggestion, the four of them ordered hamburgers and took a booth over by the window. Carly knew the meter on the taxi outside was running; she was tempted to send it away, and call for another one when needed. But no….

As usual, Sam fell on her food like she was starving, and Jillian ate her burger warily, hunched over the table, looking around, as though she was on guard against anybody trying to steal it. Carly wondered if that was a demon thing, or just Jillian. She was coming to realize that the demon girl wasn't like anyone else she knew. Then she shrugged, inwardly; somehow, she'd gotten the notion that demons couldn't eat ordinary human food, but Jillian dove in just like the rest, though she did order extra jalapenos. That made Carly smile: she wasn't sure if the world held enough jalapenos to satisfy the demoness. She, herself, ate her own burger a bit more slowly, all the while questioning a distraught Brittney, who couldn't eat a bite, such was her state of mind. "So you're sure this is the place? Well, okay…what about phone numbers? I know you don't have your phone, but do you remember any numbers? We can call and get some answers that way."

"I, I remember a few. But…"

"Do you remember your apartment complex's main number?" She pulled out her phone. Brittney gave her the number, and Carly dialed it.

"Hello, you have reached Acer Roofing Contractors. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed…." She clicked the "end" button. "Well, that's not it. Look, Brit, let's go back to our place, sort things out from there." Brittney nodded, a tear starting to trickle down her face. What was going on here?

Carly reached over and put her hand on the other girl's arm. "It'll be alright. It'll just…take some time. Maybe…maybe being down in the Darkness messed with your mind, a little. Turned you around a bit. But we'll get it ironed out, okay? So try not to worry." They got a "to go" box for her food, and went back out to the waiting taxi.

Once back at the apartment, they corralled Freddie (Sam poked and pinched him a few times, then breathed a sigh of relief. He just looked at her as though this was just standard behavior to be expected of the blond headed demon) into doing a search for phone numbers, and data in general. What they then began to find out was disturbing.

The Baskin-Robbins across the river had no record of Brittney as being an employee. There was no Westwood Heights Apartments in all of Seattle, or the surrounding area. A computer search turned up nobody with her name, in her age bracket, anywhere in the state. They couldn't find any phone number associated with her, cell or otherwise. Brittney couldn't remember her driver's license number, but her social security number led them to an elderly gentleman in Wisconsin. "Okay, what about relatives?"

"I, I have a grandmother in upstate New York. Yes, that's it! Let me give her a call…."

"Hold on," Sam put her hand on Brittney's arm. "I got a hunch. Just a hunch, but….let me make the call, okay?" Brittney nodded, and Sam pulled out her own phone, punching in the numbers.

An elderly woman's voice answered: "Hello?"

"Ma'am, my name is Samantha, and I'm doing a project for my school. Would it be okay if I asked you just a few questions? I promise I won't keep you long, and I'm not gonna ask for any sensitive information or anything. It…it would really help me out here…."

Pause. Then, "Well, I suppose you can. This isn't a sales call or anything, is it?"

"Oh, no, ma'am, nothing like that at all. I just wanted to ask you a few questions for my school project. I, uh, could really use the extra credits." Carly rolled her eyes. Sam was pulling out every trick in the book: the high school girl with a time-sensitive project, the hint of failing grades, the need for extra credit…and delivering it all in a higher pitched tone of voice, as of someone quite a bit younger, with just the right hint of desperation. (Sam never called herself "Samantha," unless it was a matter of life or death. And sometimes not even then.) "I promise not to take up much of your time, and of course I won't use your name on anything. So, can I ask you a very few questions? Okay, good. Now, tell me: how many are in your household? Just you? Do you have any children?"

"Yes, two grown sons. One's in construction, the other's an accountant for a large firm, and I'm proud of 'em both."

"Do they have any children?"

"My youngest son has two boys, and let me tell you, they are a handful. When they come over, it's all I can do just to keep up with them."

"No granddaughters?"

"No. My oldest son used to say he wanted a daughter, but it never happened, and now he's divorced. So it's just the two grandsons. Now, what's all this about, young lady?"

"Just a kind of survey, ma'am. Like a census. But one last question: does the name Brittney mean anything to you?"

There was a pause over the line. Then, "No—o, can't say it does. You don't mean that singer, do you?"

"Uh, no ma'am, not her. But that name…there's no one in your family named that?"

Before the woman on the other end could say anything, Brittney had grabbed the phone away from a startled Sam. "Grandma, it's me! Brittney! Don't you remember me? You used to call me Little Brit!"

"What?! Is this some kind of joke, young lady? If so, I've a good notion to report you to the authorities! Now get off this phone and don't call me back!" Click!-went the line on the other end.

Brittney stared in shock at the dead phone, her face pale. "She—she didn't know me…she practically raised me, and she didn't know me! What's going on? What's going on?"

"I don't know any way to sugarcoat this." Sam looked her full in the face while gently taking the phone away from her. "But the only thing I can think of is this: We did rescue you from the Darkness, all right. And we brought you back to Earth.

"But not your Earth."

To be continued…