Fade Into You
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: For those of you who don't know/aren't familiar with True Blood/SVM, Dr. Ludwig is a gnome-type female doctor that works with supernaturals for a hefty fee. This will likely be the only appearance/mention of a TB/SVM character in this fic since it's not a Xover.
The Call
A week after finding her Scythe, Buffy was resting – if you could call it that – in the most unlikely of places.
With the mess that's been made of her after-afterlife, she's taken to coming to the Mansion when she's so wiped out she can barely function anymore. There was just too much drama and angst filling her and Dawn's house for her to really be able to rest there. She would sleep at Spike's, he offered once she told him about how bad trying to sleep undisturbed has gotten for her, but she knew that wouldn't work.
If the sexy-vibes in the air from being that close to the hot-as-sin vamp didn't keep her from sleeping, everyone would think to look for her there which pretty much made it pointless.
Only Spike knew about her upkeep of the Mansion.
Only Spike knew about a lot of things. The vamp having transitioned seamlessly from somewhat-mistrusted-ally into highly-trusted-confidant-guy with her return. Seeing for herself and hearing from Dawn all about how he took care of her – constantly watching over "his Niblet" combined with his friendship with her late mother…well. It would take someone with a heart of total stone not to soften over his high regard for her two favoritest people, even if one of them is dead and gone. One thing was for sure she trusted him not to try and bring her back to life and damn the consequences.
She had a feeling – no it was more than that – she knew that Spike was dead-on when he accused Willow of knowing something could go wrong and needing a backup plan. Buffy believed down to her bones that when he said that if even a part of her was Buffy, he would move heaven and earth to keep her alive and kicking his butt.
Well…that's not exactly what he said…but close enough.
He knew where to find her after patrol now, if he didn't come along for some reason. Before her vision and claiming her Scythe she would always just head back home and go through the motions of being the Slayer. Try and sleep despite the nightmares of Spike's torture by Glory or crawling out of her own grave. Get up, get Dawn going, work, slay, repeat.
She knows that her friends and Dawn are worrying. She knows that Willow gets sacred when she doesn't come straight back from patrol and that Dawnie is only going to keep acting out the more that she's not there at night.
She just can't seem to make herself care anymore.
She's spent every second of every day worried and concerned about everyone else and what everyone else thinks, afraid to step one toe out of line for fear of losing everyone, since the day she was Called. She's lost Merrick, her first Watcher, Pike her first semi-boyfriend-person who knew about her "other" life. Her Mom is gone, Giles up and left. The only person she knows for sure who won't turn their back on her or abandon her is Spike.
Spike.
It always circles back around to him.
Banishing the thoughts from her mind, Buffy forced herself into sleep, hoping that maybe this time when she wakes she'll have an idea of which way to go.
She's tired but more she's tired of standing still.
oOoOoOo
"Hello, lover." The sultry voice whispered against the back of her neck as a pair of lips moved down to caress and nip at the trio of scars on her neck. The Master's marks were nearly obliterated by Angel's while Dracula's were almost dainty in comparison.
Turning in his encompassing arms, Buffy looped her arms around his neck as she met those dancing eyes. Angelus always looked like he was either in the middle of or plotting some mayhem. There was a joy in him that was absent in his souled state, without the weight of his misdeeds crushing him. He leaned down and nuzzled his mark on her neck again, this time with a firm bite that was just shy of breaking her skin.
"Angelus," she sighed as her head fell backwards. "It's been years. Why am I dreaming of you now?"
"Things are changing, lover." He breathed in her ear as he ran his strong hands down her lush body. "You are changing. Not the blindly stubborn little girl you used to be. I always knew you would have to be broken before you could become the woman I saw in you. Before you would be comfortable unleashing your power and heeding its call."
He leaned back and running his eyes down her matured form gave her one of his patented smirks.
"But even I never thought those idiot friends of yours would do my work for me…"
oOoOoOo
His voice was still ringing in her ears as she bolted awake, panting in part arousal and part fear. Sensing a presence in the room with her, she snapped her head around as she gathered the blood-red silk sheets around her, concealing her nude form.
"Well now, pet." Buffy traced that distinctive voice to the far corner of the room, finding the glowing end of his cigarette illuminating his face. "That must've been some dream to get you smellin' like that." He was back to the panty-soaking purr.
Great. Now she has Angelus hitting on her in her dreams and Spike flirting during her waking hours. At this rate if she doesn't get some relief she's going to spontaneously combust like the victims of Sweet's enthrallment.
"Not now, Spike." Weary, her rest not exactly being of the restful variety, she struggled back into her simple jeans and t-shirt she wore to patrol after work. Dropping the sheets at her feet she strode from the room, ignoring the vampire bolting along after her.
"What is it, luv?"
Spike was more worried about her than ever. That job of hers was sucking the life out of her and her friends aren't bein' much better. For that one night last week he saw a glimpse of her old flame and power only harnessed by her will. It seemed to have disappeared with the dawn. She needs to bloody sleep, not keep catching brief moments of rest between nightmares and visions and her so-called life.
"I need to kill something." Reaching the secluded beach that backed up against the Mansion proper, she turned and pinned him with a look. "Short of that, I need a good fight. You up for it?"
A grin split Spike's face. "Thought you'd never ask, sweetheart. No trainin', no rules, just a spot o' violence eh? That's the ticket, pet?"
She gave a short nod as she cracked her neck. Just a spot of violence.
Just something to take away this feeling of dread that Angelus is somehow, someway, coming back.
oOoOoOo
Willow clutched at the cordless phone as she curled up in bed. Everything is wrong. Just wrong. And Tara being all holier-than-thou over her magic usage isn't helping things either. Leaving her over one little spell. Pfft.
"Willow, I don't get it." Xander's voice was gruff from him being barely awake. She'd called him at two in the morning to tell him that Buffy isn't home yet. While he understood her concern, he doesn't know what she expects him to do about it. "Buffy's a big girl, she can take care of herself. She probably just needed some time alone."
"No, that's not the point!" Willows frustration carried through the phone clearly. "You're not listening to me! Ever since that singing-curse-thing she's been even more withdrawn than ever. I think something happened or is happening or something…"
Xander cut her off.
"Something did happen, Will." His voice went from gruff to harsh in a nano-second. He's had enough of Willow's uber-drama over Buffy. Time for her to face facts. They're not in high school anymore and it's time Willow realized that. "You happened. You decided to bring Buffy back to life. Yeah, you did it thinking you were "saving" her but all you really did was pull her out of Heaven. If she wants to spend some time alone," away from you, "then I think that's not too much to ask. Goodnight Willow."
Xander hung up and tossed the phone back on the nightstand. Anya stroked one hand through his hair, worried about her snuggle-bear.
"She needed to hear that, Xander." Anya said gently, hugging him from behind. "All of you have moved on since high school. Even Buffy, she's not the same bubbly blonde anymore. Willow needs to stop relying on everyone else so much."
"I know, Ahn." Xander took one of her hands and kissed it, turning to face the woman he loves. "But it's still hard for me to say."
"I know." She snuggled up against his chest. "I know."
Willow stared at the now lifeless phone in disbelief. Xander hung up on her. Xander. If it was Buffy or Anya or even Giles that would be one thing but Xander hung up on her.
All she wanted was a little commiseration. A little understanding. But no. This was even worse than when she brought Buffy back. She would've thought someone would've at least said thank you. But no. They were all "Bad Willow." "Selfish Willow." "Amateur Willow." "There's consequences Willow."
It burned.
Lying in bed she chucked the phone against the wall, never mind that the phone didn't actually belong to her.
oOoOoOo
Spike ducked a roundhouse punch to his head only to get caught by a knee to his ribs. Blowing out a breath he dodged around her, eyeing Buffy's sweat-slicked body with appreciation. They haven't danced like this since he got that blood chip in his head. Missed it, he has.
Five minutes passed, then ten, as they traded blows. Dancing around each other, neither really drawing blood or causing any damage. As always it was one of Spike's smartass comments that set her off.
"Feel alive yet, pet?" He licked his upper lip with a leer. "Or ya need a little more of Dr. Spike's tender-loving-care?"
With a wordless shriek she pounced and the next ten minutes were silent except for the sound of flesh crashing against flesh with a force that would cripple or maim less powerful creatures. They danced all around the Mansion's private beach then Buffy made a wild leap only to be caught and held by Spike as the momentum forced them to the ground. Nearly panting, Spike flipped them, pinning Buffy to the sand and shackling her wrists with his hands, using his own hips to leverage her into the ground and keep her from wind milling her legs to get free.
Staring down into her face, beautiful and flushed from the excitement of a fight, he pressed his hips into hers in a whole other manner, relishing the little gasp and accompanying rush of moisture he could sense at his maneuver. With a wicked grin, he let go of her hands, tunneling his cool fingers into her hair and taking her in a powerful, commanding kiss. Moaning helplessly in a way that made his inner demon roar, Buffy grasped the hair at the back of his neck in one hand and the back of his leather duster in the other as she returned his heated kiss with equal fervor.
This is what she's been missing.
This feeling of heat and fire and life, instead of the cold, dark, nothing that's been her constant companion since her…rising…except for here, in his arms.
Spike, a Master among the undead, makes the Vampire Slayer feel alive. The irony is not lost on her.
Before she could faint from lack of oxygen, he lifted his head and stared down into her pleasure dazed green eyes.
"We better take this somewhere else, luv." He rasped, too aroused to even pretend that he was unmoved. "Unless you wanna give the neighbors a show?"
"No," Buffy tossed her head as she ground her hips up against his iron-hard arousal. Clenching her hands around him she held him to her. "Here. Now."
Burying his head in the crook of her neck as she worked her hips against him, twining her legs around his hips for better leverage, Spike gave in with a heart-felt groan.
Screw it, then. If the bint wants to get ravished in near-public, he's more than demon enough to see to it and give her a proper seeing to.
Growling, his hands were nearly cruel as they stripped her, her own no less frantic as she ripped and tore his shirt from him only to be stymied when he batted her hands away before she could give his pants similar treatment. Bearing her back against the leather duster he laid out while she was otherwise occupied, he simply undid his jeans and hooking her legs over his arms, slid into her pulsing wet heat without further ado. Groaning at the damp-silk feel of her and purring at her pleasure-ridden shriek, Spike tried to force down his demon as he burrowed his rock-hard member into her folds with rapid strokes.
Buffy moaned at the cool/hot feeling of having him inside her took her over. His flesh itself was cool, a blistering contrast to the volcanic heat he caused in her. Spying the tell-tale amber glow in his eyes, her instincts sucked her under completely as she canted her head to one side, offering up the unmarked expanse of her neck to the demon fucking her brains out. With a soft snarl, Spike dropped fang and buried his fangs in her smooth neck, making both of them go off like a rocket at the intense dual-penetration.
Realizing what he's done only after his fangs parted her silken flesh, Spike took only the barest of sips, just enough to sate his demon before closing the wounds with the most tender of care as they both enjoyed the afterglow of being well-loved, his erection – his constant companion for months it seemed like – finally abating…for the moment.
Pulling himself away from her just long enough to fix his jeans, he reclaimed their clothes before wrapping her still-naked form in his jacket and cuddling her up against his chest, swept her away from the Mansion and off to his crypt at true vampire-speed.
oOoOoOo
Later the next morning after hours of mutual pleasure, just before dawn, Buffy watched her new lover pad back to his four-poster bed in his underground layer, a bottle of water for her and a mug of blood for him held firmly in his hands.
"I know what you did." She said, nearly making the always-graceful trip over his own feet as he shot her a guilty glance.
Handing her the water, Spike joined her under the covers before propping his back against the headboard and pretending an engrossing interest in the contents of his mug.
"Do you then?" He arched a brow at her over the rim of his cup. "Why don't you enlighten me then, pet?"
"You Marked me." She watched out of amused, slumberous eyes as he spluttered. He was probably worried about being on the receiving end of an extreme – and painful – retaliation from her. Which was tempting. After all it wasn't like he asked her or anything. He just…bit. And with intent too, otherwise the bite mark would already be gone thanks to her Slayer healing. That it was sticking around meant one thing – a Marking with a capital M.
"Did I now, pet?" Agitated, Spike set aside the now-empty cup and lit up a fag. How am I going to get myself out of this blood mess? He just got the bint where he wanted her and now because he can't keep his sodding demon under control she's likely as not to run screamin' away from 'im.
"You know you did, Spike." Rolling her eyes at him she tossed the empty bottle away and rolled onto her side to face him, ignoring that the movement bared must of her front and all of her side to his rapidly-heating gaze. "I'm just wondering how long it would've taken you to tell me about it if I didn't already know?"
"A good long while." Blowing out a breath, he crushed out the smoke and rolled to face her, cupping her face in one hand. "Didn't want you to do a scarper on me, now did I luv?"
"I egged you on every step of the way, Spike." Holding his hand against her face, she turned until she could place a soft kiss on his palm. "I told you to keep going. I ripped your shirts off. I bared my neck to a Master vampire. I knew what I was getting into."
"And why did you do all that then, pet?" He countered, not quite believing the turn his unlife has taken over the past six hours. "Why'd you let me kiss ya, fuck ya, an' Mark ya?"
Sighing she gave him the gentlest of kisses, barely a brush of lips before staring into those hopeful – but cautious – cornflower blue eyes.
"Because in the middle of the crazy, you've been there. You – somehow – " she gave a little laugh, not quite knowing when it happened herself. "Have become the one person I can count on no matter what. You're the one I trusted to take care of Dawn. You're the one I told about where I was when I was…gone. You're the only one that's been here and there and everywhere for no other reason than that you love me. Why wouldn't I want you to kiss me," she gave him another, deeper kiss. "Fuck me," she pressed her belly against his burgeoning arousal. "Or Mark me?"
Swallowing hard, Spike beat back that bloody sentimental fool William who wanted to start spouting bloody poetry.
"Are you…" He trailed off a moment as he became distracted by what her clever little fingers had started doing with his hardened flesh. "Are you sayin' you'll be me Mate then, love?"
"I'm saying…" She trailed kisses down his sculpted chest before casting a witchy look up at him from where she hovered over his weeping arousal. "That I'm giving us a chance. A chance to be happy and kick ass, and try. I'm not saying yes." She made him gasp from a sudden swipe of her tongue. "But I'm not saying no either."
Before her hot little mouth made him completely lose his wits, he gasped:
"Fair 'nough, love."
oOoOoOo
A few days after Buffy and Spike decided to give having a – gasp – adult relationship a shot, they were play-sparring in the Mansion's ballroom, Spike having hunted and chased the Slayer all through the massive house.
Although she was shrieking with laughter, Spike still saw a shadow hovering at the edges of her eyes. Deciding on a course of action, he suddenly swept her up in his arms, tickling her until she was nearly boneless.
"Give!" She squealed helplessly. "I give!"
"Knew you would, love." Spike looked down into her happy, shining face with a self-satisfied smirk. Dropping her back onto her feet, he held her in a loose embrace as he sobered.
"What is it?"
"Are you happy then, sweetheart?" He asked her seriously. He knows that some of the darkness that's been haunting her has lightened but it wasn't entirely gone. They still went out and hunted beasties every night, and most nights she'll wake up panting from one nightmare or another. Those friends of hers haven't been helping either. Red's on a sure path for megalomania with her magic bit and the whelp is as self-absorbed as ever. Only the Niblet's been supportive of her sister spending so much time with 'im. But then the Bit's rather biased in his favor anyways.
"I'm worried." She admitted after a long moment, nibbling at her lower lip. Wrapping her arms around him she snuggled into his chest. "Things have been going so well after we found the Scythe and then our…" She looked up at him with a naughty grin. "I just can't help but feel like something is coming, this great evil or whatever."
"You're waitin' on the other shoe to drop." He said, giving her a squeeze from his leanly muscled arms. "You're not used to bein' happy anymore is all, love. You'll get there, promise."
"Yeah," she said, resting her head on his chest. "I think that's a big part of it. The last time I was this happy…"
"Your boyfriend spent months terrorizing your friends and family." Spike finished for her knowing exactly where her mind was. "I'm not Angelus, pet. I'm not a cursed-souled-poof. 'M not gonna up and decide to go all torturer on ya one day cause I got too happy, love."
"It's Angelus I'm worried about." She whispered, lifting her gaze to his. "I've been having dreams…"
"Dreams about the Great Wanker or Peaches the Giant Poofter?" Spike needed her to clarify. Angel having a hissy fit over their budding relationship is one thing, Angelus going feral over his Childe claiming his Mate is something else entirely. Like needing to know if he should bring an umbrella or build an arc.
"Both at first," she continued in a whisper as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. "Only Angelus now."
"You afraid he's this great evil, love?" He tilted her head up to meet his gaze.
"No." She said at once to his surprise. "I don't. Angelus for all that he went totally psycho last time he came out to play isn't usually trying to end the world. He likes playing in it too much for that. After dealing with the Initiative I'm more concerned about where we stand if a human evil comes knocking than a Big Bad Wannabe."
He smirked over her calling basically calling Angelus a lesser-Spike before the import of her words smacked him upside the head.
"You mean cause of this bloody chip in me head, don't you?"
She stared at his shirt, one finger chipping at a button with her nail.
"If I said I had a lead on how to get it out…"
"Aren't you worried about unleashing evil-soulless-me on the populous?" He gave her a cynical look, thinking of all the insults she's shot at him over the years.
"As long as you don't go on a bender of innocents I could care less about what you do to the general population." She said, voice hard. "One thing I have learned over the years of being the Slayer is that being human doesn't make some people any less of a monster than what goes bump in the night. And that sometimes monsters have more love and heart than a lot of men."
"Well I'll be buggered." Spike gave her a smacking kiss before whirling her around in a hug. "At long last a Slayer that isn't completely brainless."
"Spike." She complained giving him a hard smack on the chest over his teasing. "I'm serious."
"So'm I, sweetheart." He gave her another kiss. "White hats tend to be bloody blind and deaf when it comes to more neutral points-a view."
"I think we've covered whether I'm a white hat or not." She rolled her eyes. "Shade of grey, here. Now do you want the damn chip out or not?"
"Fire away, love."
"I need to make a call to someone named Dr. Ludwig…"
