Betrayal and Turkey.

Chapter Thirteen.

By Hopping Hamster.

"Kathryn you weren't weak and you did what you could" Chakotay insisted as he knelt on the floor beside where she sat at the table.

"Do you really believe that?" she asked him searching her eyes for that flare of hatred she had become so accustomed to seeing in his eyes.

"Yes" he said softly resting his hand on her elbow "yes I do" he was firm and sincere something Kathryn couldn't miss in his words. She turned from him unsure what to do next. Her heart was pounding as she dared to hear what he had to say "if you were weak you would have aborted the child but the fact you stopped to think and then chose to change your mind shows your strength"

She couldn't believe after all this time, after all the pain Chakotay was actually on her side. There was no anger in his voice, only regret and sorrow "but I wasn't strong enough when it came to it to keep your child for you" Kathryn managed to whisper. She somehow couldn't bring herself to actually believe what he was saying so lovingly.

"Kathryn these things are out of our control" tears formed in his eyes as he looked at her. How could he ever believe she aborted her child? Why did he not stop and listen to her, to hear her side of the story, why had he not tried to see her pain? "you did what you could" he told her cupping her face gently in his hand and whispered "and you've suffered so much for trying your best" as she finally let her eyes meet his he whispered lovingly "I'm so sorry I made you suffer."

"Chakotay" she shook her head firmly at him "you have a dream" she gave him an honest sad smile "you went to Trebus" she wanted to reassure him that she thought he did the right thing going to Trebus.

"It's beautiful there" he smiled wistfully as he told her "you would love it"

she was surprised but when she looked in his eyes she knew what he was saying part of her felt warm by it but the other felt pain because she knew she could never see his beloved home world "I can't Chakotay, they don't have the medical care I need"

"One day when the rebuild effort is further along we hope to get hospitals and schools and all those things" tears filled his eyes as he dared ask "you could see Trebus then?"

"If you and your new girlfriend would have me visit." she nodded "yes" trying to sound like she didn't care.

"My new girlfriend?" Chakotay was confused. He almost jumped back from her. Suddenly the intimate moment he was feeling was broken.

"You said there was somebody" Kathryn held his eyes steady and sure "you built her house"

then it hit Chakotay square in the gut, what a cruel blow he had tried to stab what he thought was her cold heart "oh..." he whispered slowly as tears fell freely down his face "oh Kathryn I'm so sorry"

"What?" she gasped unsure what was upsetting him. She reached a trembling had to rest on his shoulder as she stared at him waiting to hear what the problem was.

"I was angry" he sighed "I could see you still had feelings for me" he took a large intake of breath, closed his eyes and told her "I wanted to make you jealous" Kathryn tilted her head and stared at him as he whispered "Senya is my dog" her eyes were wide as he added quickly "puppy actually"

"Your..." she was slow letting his words sink in before she gulped out "puppy?"

"Yes" he nodded quickly looking at her to see her response but she was doing a fine job at keeping her emotions in check.

"Right" she said sharply drawing her hand away.

"I'm sorry" he offered feeling so awful.

"Its fine" she hissed raising her hand to silence him and shaking her head.

"You're angry" he stated softly.

"No" she spat firmly.

"Kathryn please" Chakotay snapped. At his words she turned her face to him, her eyes wide and her heart pounding. When she looked at him she saw real regret at his words and real sorrow mixed with love. A love she hadn't seen in his eyes for a long time.

"I went to see you go" she told his as tears fell down her face at the memory of it "I was at your send off as you asked me to be"

"I know" he admitted. That sudden pain of the loss of that chance. Had he known she was there he would have gone to her.

"You do?" she was surprised and then saddened "why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't know then" he admitted regretfully "B'Elanna has only just told me" then Kathryn began to see the pieces fit together "had I known then I would have gone to you" hanging his head sorrowfully he asked her "why didn't you come to me?"

"Saying goodbye would have been too hard that way" she whispered as they stared into each other's eyes "and I was scared" she admitted and Chakotay could sense the pain in her voice "I thought you understood I didn't mean to lose the baby yet you were still angry"

"I'm sorry Kathryn" he too felt pain realising how much he had let go when he turned his back on her "I should never had been angry" he insisted "I should have tried to see your point of view"

"It doesn't matter now" she sighed with a weak smile. She was finding herself falling in love with him again.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked seriously. He needed to know he hadn't once again destroyed their friendship.

"I thought it was you who needed to forgive me" she whispered as tears fell streaming down her face.

"Kathryn don't cry" he whispered pulling her half limp body into a deep hug. As he pulled from her he brushed his lips softly against hers in a tiny tender kiss.