Chapter Twenty-Two

Another challenge the Royal Family had to face on a vacation without their usual staff was to establish a proper schedule for themselves. Especially in the morning.

"I can't believe that there are only two bathrooms for four bedrooms. French people must really hate to shower." – Queen Helena remarked sarcastically.

King Simon, wrapped in a towel, knocked on the bathroom door.

"Eleanor, hurry up! We will be late." – he shouted.

"Please!" – Helena replied scornfully. – "I'm sure that a lowly diving instructor can wait for the British Royal Family a little bit longer."

The King couldn't help enjoying the situation what he imagined to be an everyday problem of normal people.

"You should be the last one. You are not even coming with us." – he said to his wife.

Helena didn't know how to react to that.

"Yes, but… I have things to do as well and… I'm a woman. Therefore, the bathroom is more important to me."

That was the only argument she could come up with, which made them realize that in fact, none of them was in an actual rush. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"I tell you what." – the Queen said after they waited for another five minutes. – "Why don't you go and use the downstairs bathroom?

Her husband gave him a puzzled look.

"But that one is for the security details!" – he protested. – "Why don't you use it?"

Of course he already knew the answer to that. Helena didn't disappoint him as she reacted exactly the way he expected.

"I can't do that. I'm the Queen. I have to act like the Queen."

Simon nodded knowingly. He suppressed a smile and walked towards the stairs.


Soon after the King and her children left the villa, Queen Helena sat on the balcony with a glass of wine and a book. However, ten minutes later she noticed her younger son and his bodyguard coming back in the street.

"What happened?" – Helena asked in surprise.

"Prince Liam's nose began to bleed. They didn't let him dive." – the security detail answered, then he turned to the little Prince. – "Chin up, Your Highness! You can still have a nice day."

Queen Helena and King Simon agreed earlier that they both would get a day off without the children so she wasn't too happy that this accident ruined hers.

"Go back to your room, I'll figure something out." – she said uncertainly to her son, then she walked back to finish her drink on the balcony.


A few minutes later, she heard her phone buzzing. It was Alistair.

"Now it's not a good time." – the Queen whispered after she picked it up.

"You said you would be alone today." – her lover replied a bit reproachfully.

Helena let out a sigh. She carefully looked around, but both of the bodyguards who stayed in the house were downstairs. Only she and Liam were on the second floor.

"Well, I'm not." – she hissed angrily after she went to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

Alistair didn't know whether he was to blame for her anger or not, but he could feel the tension.

"What happened?" – he finally asked.

"Liam's nose was bleeding again. The instructor didn't allowe him to dive." – the Queen explained, annoyed.

"Poor kid." – Alistair remarked sympathetically.

Helena shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll have a big pool built for him in the garden with sea shells and algae and all that when we get home. He can practice scuba diving there."

Her lover cried out in shock:

"Wow! You seriously lost touch with the reality! You could feed a village with that much money. I bet you wouldn't even pass the milk test."

"Don't be ridiculous! I will always pass the milk test. It costs about 18 pence per litre." – the Queen replied resentfully. – "It sucks to be a farmer these days."

"Yeah." – Alistair agreed. Then, he suddenly had an idea. – "Listen, there is an Oceanographic Museum in Monaco, a half an hour drive from Nice, with big aquariums… It's like you were under the sea. Liam may would like it."

Queen Helena frowned in surprise.

"How do you know that?" – she asked with a puzzled look.

"One of my friends, John was there with his wife last summer." – he answered willingly.

The Queen shook her head in disappointment. She didn't imagine the day like this at all. She was not in the mood to spend half the day looking at fish."

"That sounds good. Thank you!" – she finally said, but she wasn't too convincing.

They both remain quiet for a while, then Alistair broke the silence.

"I saw the papers. It seems like you are having fun."

Queen Helena suddenly remembered the paparazzo on the shore who photographed her kissing Simon.

"Shit!" – she mumbled. – "I'm sorry… It just happened. I didn't know that someone was watching us."

"I don't mind. On the contrary." – Alistair replied happily.

"Really?" – the Queen asked back in shock.

Her lover let out a soft chuckle.

"Yes. Now the whole country is talking about how amazing you look. I can't help being a bit proud."

Helena began to understand that they were talking about two different things.

"What was exactly in the papers?" – she asked carefully.

"You. Kneeling in the sand. In a bikini. It's a beautiful picture. Maybe I will cut it out and hang on my wall." – Alistair answered playfully.

"Idiot." – the Queen said to him with a laugh and shook her head.

She was surprised that the newspaper chose that photo over the kissing one, but it was for the best. Maybe her bodyguard was more efficient or angry than she thought and managed to destroy the picture… or the photographer never had the chance to take it in the first place.

"I have to go." – she said after a moment.

She could hear her lover sighing.

"I miss you." – he mumbled.

"I miss you too." – the Queen whispered and hung up the phone.


Helena went straight to Liam's room.

"There is an Aquarium nearby. We can go to see it if you want." – she suggested to her son.

Liam didn't show much interest. He looked at her mother and shrugged. It was only when Helena was about to leave him when he asked:

"Is it big?"

"Very big." – the Queen replied, relieved. – "There are a lot of different sea animals. Your father and your siblings won't see so many kinds."

She could see that she had her son's attention.

"Then, we can cook something for dinner. What do you think?" – she added lightly.

Liam frowned and gave her a puzzled look.

"You can't cook." – he said firmly.

"How do you know?" – her mother asked back in mock resentment.

The little boy got a bit scared of her reaction and he looked down as he answered.

"Because you never cook." – he mumbled.

Helena didn't want to intimidate him so she walked over him and caressed his cheek.

"It doesn't mean that I can't give it a try." – she said gently. – "How hard can it be?"

"Very hard." – Liam remarked in a serious tone.

Her mother smiled at him as she echoed his last words:

"Very hard… I guess we will see about that." – she said, then she had an idea. – "Liam! Do you know how much a bottle of milk costs?"

The little Prince frowned, hearing the odd question and shook his head.

"Why? Should I?" – he asked in confusion.

"No, I was just curious. It's highly unlikely that you ever need this information." – the Queen remarked with confidence.


Making dinner together with Liam turned out to be a rash promise. Queen Helena had no idea how to cook. The last time she was in a kitchen for that reason she was eight years old. Thinking that her mother's attempt to marry her rich might fail, her grandmother decided to make a decent woman out of her. So she taught her how to skin a rabbit. That was the first and last cooking lesson Helena ever had.

Not sure how many rabbits she would find on the French Riviera, she asked Liam, who suggested lasagna for dinner. Lucky for them, their bodyguard, Ralph had an Italian grandmother who happened to have an excellent recipe. According to the protocol, Ralph was with them the whole time to taste every ingredient of the food for poison while his grandmother provided the Queen with instructions over the phone.

It was a very romantic afternoon. Prince Liam often remembered it later, on those occasions when he could have strangled his mother for something she did.


"We have seen clown fish… jellyfish… starfish… and a seahorse. He didn't look like a horse at all." – Princess Eleanor told her mother and her twin about their day while they sat around the dinner table.

Prince Liam glanced knowingly at her mother who gave him a reassuring look.

"I have seen a shark." – he said proudly.

"No, you are not." – Eleanor cried in disbelief.

Liam inserted his fork in the lasagna on his plate, putting all his confidence in this movement.

"Yes, I have. I was this close." – he pointed the distance with his two fingers, which almost poked his sister's eyes out.

"You are just lying." – Eleanor answered in an uncertain voice, then she turned to her mother. – "He is lying, right Mom?"

It was the moment of truth. Liam couldn't wait to see his twin's face and Helena also knew the importance of her words. She waited a moment for effect before she spoke:

"He is not. We did see a shark. It swam above our head." – she said with ease and took a sip of her wine.

The little Princess sought comfort in her father's and older brother's eyes. Prince Robert frowned. For a brief moment, he wondered if his mother would support Liam's lie just to upset Eleanor. He could understand the Queen's twisted logic and usually he agreed with it, but not now.

"Where?" – he asked carefully.

"In an Aquarium in Monaco." – Helena replied a bit offended, detecting the suspicion in her son's voice.

Robert couldn't stand her gaze and lowered his eyes in shame. Eleanor broke the silence.

"I want to see it too. Will you take me there tomorrow?" – she asked her mother in a wheedling voice.

Helena hated to say no to Eleanor. Every time she did, she was terrified that she would crush her spirit and make her an obedient daughter, just as her mother did to her. However, she couldn't let her fear take control, and now she had to be strong for her son.

"I'm sorry, darling. It was only for Liam." – she said softly.

"It's not fair." – the Princess cried and was about to leave the table, but her father stopped her.

King Simon did not have the Queen's dilemma, nor did he know about it. Therefore it wasn't a problem for him to discipline sometimes the spoiled little Princess.

"He couldn't come with us scuba diving so he saw the Aquarium instead." – he explained to her in a calm tone. – "It's perfectly fair."

One look of her father was enough for Eleanor to calm down and sit back to the table. The King quietly watched her, then he turned to his wife:

"So you went to Monaco…" – he said, not trying to hide his amazement. – "Then, you came home and cooked dinner. It sounds pretty unbelievable."

"But it's true." – Helena answered with a dim smile, then she showed her hand to him. – "Look, I had sauce in my wedding ring. I hope they can fix it."

The King grabbed her outstretched hand and pecked a kiss on it.

"After ten years you can still surprise me, my love." – he mumbled.

"Of course I can." – she replied playfully and kissed him.

The unusual affection between her parents, made Eleanor curious.

"How did you meet?" – she asked eagerly. – "Gemma said that her parents had met in New York at Tiffany's house, which is a palace full of diamonds."

Queen Helena couldn't hold back a scornful laugh, then she explained herself to her surprised daughter.

"First of all, Tiffany is not a person, darling, it's a jewellery store." – she began. – "And second, Emma changes the story every year, so don't be surprised if you hear a different version next time you will meet her."

Prince Robert looked at his mother and asked curiously:

"What is the original story?"

"I'll tell you when you get older." – she answered, then she glanced at her husband knowingly. – "Suffice to say…"

"… that's why we don't have rose bushes at Kensington Palace." – the King and the Queen finished the sentence in unison.

Their daughter, however, was less interested in some rose bushes than in her parents' life so she got back to her original subject.

"How was your first date?" – she asked.

To all of their surprise, Queen Helena didn't take the question well.

"It's a very personal question, Eleanor. It's not proper to ask." – she hissed at the Princess.

"Why?" – asked the little girl, who wasn't intimidated by her answer at all.

Helena decided to ignore her question and instead of answering, she began to collect the empty plates on the table. They were quiet for a moment, then King Simon broke the silence.

"We didn't have a real first date." – he said softly to her daughter.

"Simon!" – the Queen cried out in indignation. – "It's none of their business."

Her husband didn't listen to her as he continued the conversation with his daughter:

"I tell you a secret. If it was tonight, I would do it differently."

"How?" – Eleanor demanded, her eyes widened in excitement at the promise of a good story.

Her father didn't disappoint her.

"Well, I would take out my guitar and give her a serenade under her window…" – he began, but the little Princess interrupted him.

"The song from Lion King!" – she said categorically.

The Queen had to laugh at the thought of her husband singing Can you feel the love tonight? with a guitar in the Palace garden.

"Ask Elton John and he will sing it for you any time you want, Eleanor, but I don't think it would be my song." – Helena remarked with an amused smile.

"Me neither." – Simon agreed, then he continued, still talking to his daughter. – "I would invite her to take a stroll with me on the beach. We would be walking in the sand and I would tell her how beautiful she is and how much I love and cherish her until she turns red…"

"She is blushing right now." – Robert cried out with a sardonic grin.

"No, I'm not." – Helena turned to her husband with an ill-concealed embarrassment. – "So are you going to take me on that date or what?"

"I would be honoured." – the King replied and he held out his hand for her.