Betrayal and Turkey.

Chapter Twenty Five.

By Hopping Hamster.

Sorry again for the delay. And no you haven't missed a bit…. I will explain as it goes on. Happy reading.

Kathryn didn't want to get up, she didn't care it what Christmas day or any other damned day, as far as she was concerned it could just be some other boring winter day where she did nothing but sit in the house, cold and alone feeling a great sense of guilt and loneliness, which frankly she seemed to feel all the time these days. This particular day she felt weary and tired, she felt barely able to open her eyes let alone drag herself from the comfort of her bed. It had been one hell of a year. Tom and B'Elanna had of course invited her to join them and their two lovely children for Christmas dinner but Kathryn didn't care much for company at the moment. She couldn't believe a whole year had gone by, Young Owen Paris, Tom and B'Elanna's second child was nearly ten months old now and almost as stubborn as his older sister. Voyager had just had its six year reunion and although Kathryn had attended, wearing an elegant blue satin dress Kathryn had been all smiles that evening but felt hollow and broken, quite a few of Voyager's crew hadn't made it back this year with one thing and another. There was also the fact that one member of Voyager's crew had refused point blank to come. He had told B'Elanna he wasn't going to waste his time or energy on a lost course again. Kathryn almost shuddered at the thought of his words. That had been a few months back now, she had hoped he would come back for the reunion if not for her but then her heart nearly sank when she realised he had done that last year and she had pushed him away so appallingly. It had been a whole year since he had taken her to San Francisco to see the Night Owl; regret at that memory filled her heart. With a heavy sigh she forced herself to throw back her quilt and drag herself from her relaxed state. Taking large strides towards her repucator she ordered a black coffee and waited for the blue light to produce her favourite drink. As she waited her saw her blue gown thrown in a heap on the floor where she had flung it the night before just before she climbed into bed. As her coffee materialized she turned her attention back to the replicator and sighed and flexed the fingers on both her hands as she reached out and cupped the mug in both her hands and raised it to her face to inhale the sent. She turned and strode out of her bedroom away from the memories of a broken heart that dress had been for her and entered her den where she smiled to feel its warmth. Sam had clearly been in and started an old fashioned fire even though since her extensive operations Kathryn didn't really need Sam working for her.

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With a great thud the axe went down. The sweat of manual work covered his brow. Frustration hit as he once again missed the log he was supposed to be splitting. With a frustrated growl he threw the axe to the ground and ran his copper skinned hand over the tattoo above his left eye and through his longer, slightly greying hair. He knew what day it was, December 25th, in earth years. He was sure that was what was distracting him. Well it could be any other damned day for all he cared; he had never celebrated it anyway! He only had for her! Raising the axe again he once again letting it thud down as once again. Letting out a loud cry as he realised he had once again missed his target. Tossing the axe to the ground he kicked the stub of a tree on which he had rested the logs to split and cried out in anger. One year ago he had tired, really tried with that damn infuriating woman; nobody could say he hadn't tried. He was still very angry with her for tossing him aside a year ago and sending him back to Trebus but if he was honest he missed her, he missed her smile, her warmth and her beauty. He missed her. In the year since he last saw her the day he took her to San Francisco he had tried to move on. He had tried once again to leave that infuriating woman behind but if was honest what concerned him the most was that one day he might actually move on and stop loving her anymore, he might actually meet somebody else and fall in love and his love for Kathryn Janeway become a distant and almost forgotten memory, an echo of a past life he once led. The only trouble was, the very idea of that troubled him. Reaching down to the flask he had propped up against the stump on the floor her opened the clasp and took several large gulps of water before deciding to call it a day and walk back towards the small yet growing settlement as the burning mid-day sun shone unrelenting on his back.

(+)(+)(+)

B'Elanna stood exasperated as she watched Kathryn fasten up her carry case and pull on her boot's. It wasn't until the older woman stood and looked around for her coat before B'Elanna asked feeling slightly concerned "Are you sure you want to do this Kathryn?" both women's eyes met across the room and they both knew she wasn't backing down.

Sighing Kathryn stopped her frantic search for her coat and tried to sound reassuring as she said "Lanna I need to do this, I need to see him" B'Elanna just stood and watched her dear friend closely making Kathryn quickly correct herself saying "I need to see Trebus" The use of Kathryn's affectionate term for B'Elanna's name had softened her a little but she wasn't all convinced. It had been a year since the last time she had seen Chakotay. They both knew Kathryn was riddled with guilt for what had happened one year ago and that she had hoped he would once again return for the Voyager six year reunion a week ago. Kathryn had spent most of the evening in her elegant ball gown hovering near the doors in the hope he might arrive. Everyone had seen the distracted look of disappointment on her face when he didn't come.

Handing her friend her coat from where she had been stood holding it B'Elanna looked around the den which had been Kathryn's home, sanctuary and office for the six years, a room she had barely left in those year and said softly "but you don't have to go alone" The worry in the eyes of the half Klingon was clear and while Kathryn knew perhaps it was justified she wouldn't let fear hold her back.

Giving her friend a half smile Kathryn said almost feebly "B'Elanna this is something I have to do alone." B'Elanna just stared at her friend and folded her arms and Kathryn drew the stubborn woman into a hug and said softly "Don't looked so worried, I used to be a Starfleet admiral"

B'Elanna met her eyes and knew if anyone could survive this it was Kathryn Janeway but she had watched her go last lime and had seen her comeback a smashed wreck. B'Elanna nodded and said bravely "I know, but a lot happened since then, and this isn't Starfleet"

Kathryn met her friend's eyes and took her hands in both of her and gave her friends hands a gentle squeeze asking "this is about what happened last time?"

B'Elanna nodded and pointed out "You could take a Starfleet vessel, you know they are talking of reinstating you" Kathryn didn't look at all happy at that comment.

Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed tighter together as she said "I know"

B'Elanna sighed when she realised that was all Kathryn was going to say on the matter so she pressed "so they won't mind you taking one of their ships to the Dorvan System, I looked it up, there is a Starfleet vessel going to Dorvan four in six day, you could use you influence with the captain and get him to drop you at Dorvan Five" she saw the expression in Kathryn's face was angry but she still pressed what she knew needed to be said.

Kathryn was fuming as she slammed her hand down on the table and snapped "Trebus" her voice was laced with so much anger B'Elanna was surprised and shocked by this.

Wide eyed the half Klingon asked shocked "What?"

Kathryn's facial softened as she explained "The plant is called Trebus, only federation people call it Dorvan Five."

B'Elanna realised her mistake and growled with exasperation, Kathryn had always been defensive of Chakotay's culture. Shaking her head she sighed "ok" Kathryn nodded and picked up her carry case and offered B'Elanna a reassuring smile. "At least let me come with you?" B'Elanna asked one last time in the hope her friend might change her mind.

Kathryn smiled and shook her head saying "and leave poor Tom with Mirral and Owen?" Mirral was much older now and B'Elanna's second child little Owen was as feisty as his big sister. When B'Elanna realised the logic behind what her friend was saying she too smiled as Kathryn said "Your children need you"

B'Elanna asked softly and seriously "do you think he will welcome you with open arms?" she had resigned herself to the fact Kathryn was going to do this and alone but she needed to know Kathryn had thought through what she was going and the implications of it.

Kathryn smiled a small sad smile as she admitted "no" then added "but I promised him I would stand before him on Trebus, I would stand tall and able and I would be proud to do so" with that she walked towards the door before turning to face B'Elanna and said "that's a promise I intend to keep"

"He doesn't expect you to" B'Elanna pointed out. Kathryn knew B'Elanna had been in contact with Chakotay over the last year, she also knew he had been uninterested in learning about her progress or talking about her at all really.

"I know he doesn't" she admitted sadly, she knew she had truly messed up with the man she loved, and if she could she would make it right, she had a plan, one she hoped he wouldn't refuse.

B'Elanna nodded as she met the determination in her friend's eyes and asked with concern "can't I at least tell him you are coming"

"No!" snapped Kathryn her blue eyes wide and determined as she stepped towards her dear friend and almost begged "B'Elanna please don't this needs to be a surprise"

Kathryn was set and certain as she turned back towards the door, determined to walk away before she changed her mind when B'Elanna asked "and what will you do if he refuses to talk to you?" Kathryn slowly once again turned to face her friend "how will you get back?" Kathryn saw concern in the eyes of the half Klingon "where will you stay?"

Taking a deep breath and standing tall Kathryn asked seriously "Do you really think Chakotay will see me sleep on the streets of Trebus?"

B'Elanna shook her head at her friend and insisted "He won't like it" then sighed and added "but no I don't"

Kathryn offered her crooked smile and turned away again saying "Goodbye B'Elanna"

As Kathryn opened the door and steep on the turbo lift B'Elanna called "You do realise this is taking advantage of him"

"He'll understand" Kathryn said turning and admitted with slight trepidation "maybe, either way I have to do this" with that the turbo lift doors shut leaving B'Elanna stood alone in Kathryn's den.

With a worried sigh the half Klingon whispered "bye Kathryn" she knew it was silly to worry, this was the great Kathryn Janeway but the image of her destroyed body the last time she went still lingered in B'Elanna's mind.