Hey guys, I am such an asshole, so so so very sorry. Please don't be mad at me I try but I've been super occupied during the holidays with the whole "being social" thing. Honestly if I could work on this all the time I would, but I can't and I'm sorry. I will never give up on this story I promise, but I have been thinking about starting a new fanfic, which is honestly just asking for trouble but who knows for now. Anyway, this chapter's name is from Halsey's Drive, honestly my musical taste is pretty limited so feel free to recommend me songs to base my chapters on yay. Enjoy this chapter, I'm not entirely satisfied with it, but it's been ages since I've written so I hope it's okay. Feel free to PM me rants about how much of a meanie I am, love you guys always - IntenseFanGirl
Chapter 8: All We Do is Think About the Feelings that We Hide
Beca POV
"Please, please don't kill me." I whimpered when my voice cracked and could not scream anymore. Hazel eyes locked into mine, and I could see them soften, I felt like I had seen those eyes before. It leaned back and closed its previously gaping maw. Sitting down on my stomach, it growled at me, pulling back its lips to reveal its teeth once more. I heard rapid footsteps coming up to my door and both the wolf and I, because judging from pure size and appearance this dog had to be at least part wolf, turned to look at the new arrival. Stacie stood panting at my wide open door, her high heels dangling from one hand while she leaned over to catch her breath. Still looking as flawless, even with rumpled clothes that had obviously been taken off and quickly put on, she smirked at the scene before her. I took the opportunity to push the wolf off of me, and grabbed my paper weight from my desk just in case I needed to hit it with something heavy. The wolf yelped and snapped its jaws at me.
"Aubrey, calm down. It is not Beca's fault that you had to play 'Big Bad Wolf' and come here to threaten her. I think she deserves a little more explanation." Stacie rolled her eyes at my dumbstruck expression. Aubrey's a wolf? Hell yeah I need an explanation.
I slowly sat up and curled my tail around myself, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down. My ears were flat against my head, and I could feel my heart still threatening to beat out of my chest. My breathing was out of control, and I could feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack gnawing at me. I was trembling slightly, and I squeezed myself with my tail, trying to physically hold myself together. Too much was happening for my tiny self, and my brain had decided to go on strike and give up on processing it all. Swearing mentally and counting the number of languages I know how to swear in helped ease my brain back into working, and I could feel my heartbeat slow. Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes, and I squeezed my eyes shut and wanted everything to just go away and leave me alone. I have been alone all my life, and I am used to it. But here where everything was chaotic and wild, I felt way, way out of my element. Darkness and silence is what I'm used to, but here I am, making friends and well, making out with friends. I scoffed at how stupid I was to believe staying here was a good idea. Everything I've ever tried has always gone downhill no matter how hard I try to do things right. I wiped away the tears that were still making their way down my face before anyone could notice, but from Stacie's face I could tell I was too late. Her smirk immediately slipped from her face and she was at my side in a second.
"Hey, hey it's okay. I'm sorry, she just gets so protective about Chloe." she reached out a gentle hand to brush away my tears before leaning in to wrap her arms around me. I let myself relax into her warm and welcoming embrace, letting out a shuddering breath of relief. She pulled back and sat at the edge of my bed, holding my hands in hers. Aubrey was pacing around the middle of my room and growling, her hackles raised and her claws clicking angrily on the floor or digging into my carpet. I stared at her bared fangs, and shuddered just imagining if Stacie had been too late to hold Aubrey back. Who knows what the feisty blonde could be capable of doing to the proposed bad guy. Stacie turned to look where I was staring and sighed in exasperation.
"Aubrey can you just, help me? Please?" she hissed through clenched teeth. Aubrey growled and fell to the floor whining and shaking her head. I understood her before Stacie and gestured towards my closet.
"I probably have something close enough to your size, it's probably a hoodie and sweatpants, but it's better than nothing right?" I let a small smirk tug at my lips as she growled again and narrowed her eyes to slits before slinking off to root through my clothes.
"About the explanation..." I started, still confused as hell still feeling like there's a small chance of me just bursting into tears.
"Oh yeah, well, as you can see Aubrey's a well, I think she's a shapeshifter? Or werewolf? I don't really know she hasn't really explained it to me." Stacie rolled her eyes playfully when a muffled whine of protest came from behind my open closet doors. "Anyway, Chloe came to Aubrey's room, and she was a bit, teary and red-eyed. So obviously something had to be up. She was also wearing your clothes, and that's about as much information Brey needed before bounding over here to come fuck you up." Stacie shouted the last part in Aubrey's direction and shook her head as Aubrey responded with another whine. I raised my eyebrows slightly at Stacie's nickname for Aubrey and decided to sort it into shit I definitely need to grill Chloe on. Chloe. Just thinking about her made my heart want to burst while also crumpling into nothingness. Her hair, her lips, those blue eyes that just shine with mischief like she knows a secret she can't wait to share with you. I could feel my chest tightening just thinking of her, and I swallowed hard to push down the icy lump in my throat. Everything made me think of her, and I couldn't help but think of how she was here with me just last night. Holding each other, each touch like a burning flame. Igniting me with flames that I just can't control.
"I love her." I whispered, a tiny confession that slipped out of me, hanging in the air like a butterfly. Hesitant and small, so unsure, and so fragile. Stacie turned to me and cocked her head to the side.
"Did you say something?" The moment, when everything in the future could change depending on just what you say or do. Everything hanging in the balance, waiting for one single choice to tip the scale. Friendships, relationships, everything hanging onto just three words. Everything. I looked up and locked my eyes with her green eyes. This is it, everything depends on this moment. I took a deep breath, and slowly let it out.
"I love her."
