"Blah" – Talking "Blah" – Thinking "Blah" – Written
~I do not own Guild Wars or Guild Wars 2, both are the property of NCsoft and Arenanet~
Chapter 6: Helping Hands
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"When you asked if I liked grawl; not only did I not know what a grawl was, but I also didn't know it'd involve so much snow!" Jai yelled out, both arms spread out as she tried to keep her balance.
"Come now, it's just a little snow. It's not even cold!" Forgal teased her; he looked perfectly at home in the frozen tundra. His breath came out in even and measured puffs of white as the massive norn waded through the knee high snow without faltering.
Jai let out a squeak as she lost her footing and fell into the- for her- thigh high snow. With a soft crunch the world was muffled and a Jai-shaped hole was left in the snow, her muttered curses just prompting Forgal to laugh at her even more. Kneeling down to dig her out, Forgal pulled the irate assassin out of the snow by the collar of her coat, only to drop her again as he started letting out deep booming guffaws upon seeing her sputter out ice chunks. "How can you stand this stuff?!" The assassin whined, ruffling her hair to try and shake off as much of the white fluff as she could.
"I'm surprised it's only the snow you're having trouble with," Forgal said once he got his laughter under control, but Jai could still see the wide grin on his face. "Normally it's the cold that gets to people."
Rolling her eyes Jai snorted, "I'm fine with the cold, and it was always cold back where I used to be. But at least we didn't have this blasted snow! By the Black Beast it's so annoying!", "The Realm was pretty cold, and the lack of a sun could do that. It was getting kind of warm for me back in Divinity's Reach."
It had been a week of small odd jobs around Fort Mariner with Forgal teaching her all the protocols and workings of the Vigil. It had also been a week since they made the deal about Jai's past, and surprisingly Forgal still never pressed for answers. He'd instead ask a few questions but only after Jai would mention something on her own first.
"Hey, kid?"
"Yeah?"
"You said you weren't human, but used to be." He looked unsure of what he even wanted to ask, "Are there…others like you? People we can recruit against the dragons?"
Jai stilled, "No," she nearly hissed out.
Forgal jerked his head back to stare at her in slight shock but Jai wasn't done, "If you encounter anyone else even remotely similar to me I want you to run." She pressed, "Don't fight, don't talk to them, don't even get near them. Just get the fuck out of wherever you are and don't. look. back."
Mouth agape Forgal just stared, "What? There are others like-?"
Shaking her head furiously Jai explained, "Technically I'm the only one of my exact kind, but I have- I guess you could call them half-siblings- who are similar enough to my physiology that one could lump us together as 'kin'." She spat out the last word like it brought a bad taste to her mouth. "But they're nothing like me except for two, maybe three individuals. The Apostate and The Lost are the only others who I know are not the hate-filled, ravening, blood crazed, zealots who taint everything they touch and feast on suffering, and despair." She sighed, combing a hand through her bangs, "I'd include Razah in the list but I haven't seen him in so long only Kormir knows what happened to him since then."
Looking back at the norn; Jai winced, she hadn't intended to get into such details about demons but the thought of him seeking them out had caused that nearly knee-jerk response of "NO!"
"I- Damn, kid. Raven's wings, what kind of hell were you involved in?" He asked, and Jai had to bite back a reply of "The literal kind." As she waited for him to get the words he wanted together. "No wonder you're so skittish around people if you think they'll mistake you for that!"
By now both of them were just standing in the snow, Forgal pressing a hand to his forehead as he looked down on her in dismay. "How did they- how did you- how can they be kin if you're so different? How-?"
"I was literal when I said they taint everything they touch." Jai admitted cynically, "They're- we're cursed so to speak. They embraced it, I resisted…sort of." She sighed, shoulders slumping, "This is so complicated without the whole story and that's not something I can just tell you on the side of a mountain. In short; the curse is highly contagious, it affects everything near one of my kind and the slightest exposure leads to it festering. When I found out about their existence, and what they were trying to do…. I committed myself to stopping them, no matter the risks." She snorted, "Of course, my finding out coincided with being blasted full in the face and I didn't have much else to lose by then. I was already a lost cause, it just became an effort in making sure it didn't take anyone else with me."
Jai would never forget the first time she was exposed to the taint, that fateful day at Gandara was seared into her mind.
Dressed in the white armor of a Sunspear archer Jai nervously clutched her still somewhat new blades tighter. The rush of energy and healing whenever she attacked with them still unnerved her even though she'd had them for the past few months; but Jai would admit that if not for the magic of Shiro's blades, she would have had to retreat because of her wounds. Currently though she stood behind the Sunspear Captain she had been assigned to after arriving at Istan and volunteering for whatever war they were starting, hoping to get lost in the crowd after the embargo of Elona was set in place. Jai didn't know why it was put in place but she knew that at least now her friends wouldn't be able to come, having been escorted to Kryta instead of hopping onto the last ship to Elona before the embargo went into effect.
The Sunspear forces charged into the Plaza of the Five Gods. Easily surrounding what few Kournan forces that remained as the archers all trained their bows on Warmaster Varesh. But she looked unconcerned, "Fools! Your gods are weak!" she spat, turning to the massive urn behind her, "My god gives me strength!" she waved her scythe over the urn briefly before fervently shouting out a single name, "Abaddon!"
Bright fuchsia lightning arched out of the urn only to randomly strike several sunspears. Jai had ducked as soon as she saw the magic, which unfortunately meant she didn't see what else was coming.
All she heard was Tactictian Dunkoro shout in dismay, "Gods! She has demons!"
Eyes going wide Jai looked back up just in time for a blast of black and purple to explode out from the urn, Varesh was unaffected but everyone else was tossed like ragdolls through the air screaming as the murals of each of the Five Gods were shattered. Jai had been sent flying as well, screaming as the magic tore into and through her like ice in her veins. It clung to her very soul much like how she remembered when the Envoys brought her back from the dead after Shiro killed her and the others in Vizunah Square. But this was so much worse than even that had been, it felt like a massive frozen clawed hand had wrapped around her soul and squeezed. Coming to a rolling stop beside the Tactician who helped her to her feet just as the screams started.
Jai could hear shouting, "Regroup! Fall back! Don't let them get behind you!"
Horrific mutated monsters were reaping through the gathered Sunspears, weapons fused to their flesh or even made from it in some cases and terrifying features.
"Blast! We're outmatched! Retreat! Save those you can!"
Varesh's merciless voice could be heard even over the din of roars and screams, "Abaddon will feast on your eyes!"
There were scattered shouts, "Kormir!", "Captain!"
Looking back Jai saw her Captain rushing to the aid of a fallen Spearmarshal, and both falling to the massive four legged demon that had mouths all along its spine. The Captain thrown back and falling to the ground with his neck snapped and head rolling around unnaturally while Kormir was pinned beneath its large clawed paws. Jai could feel a tug on her jerkin, turning to Dunkoro he urged, "Come on! Save who you can!"
Dunkoro started pulling her away, "This way! We can retreat across the bridge."
Looking back at Forgal she swallowed hard seeing his stricken expression, quickly holding up her hands in surrender she amended herself quickly, "But I didn't taint you! Or anyone! I made sure my curse was sealed! I'd never want anyone to end up like me! I swear to you, and if the seal ever broke I'd- I'd-"
"Throw myself back into Torment, or…"
"Oh kid," Forgal said sadly, reaching out and placing his hand on her head causing Jai to stiffen even as she stopped breathing from shock, "Why didn't you ask for help? Why didn't you get in contact with the Vigil or something?"
"I- you're still touching me? Even after-?" She stammered.
"Come now," Forgal chided as he gave her hood a friendly ruffle, "I think I know you enough to know you would make sure you were safe if you thought yourself a risk." His face then turned stern, "You shouldn't have had to deal with something this big alone though, where were we when this happened? The Vigil may focus mainly on the Dragons but how could we have missed a threat like this?."
Jai hiccupped lightly as she rubbed furiously at her eyes, "I did have help. My friends were the ones who were initially involved; I just followed them and helped. Eventually though things went too far and we ended up confronting the source." She swallowed thickly, "We killed it. But we were all cursed, I found a way to remove it…but it could only be transferred to an already Touched soul, and there was a cost..."
The hand on her head shifted to her shoulder and held it reassuringly, "You took it didn't you. To spare them. That's what you meant when you 'sort of' resisted."
"Yeah," Jai whispered, "I did. How could I not? One was talking about asking the other to marry him, two of them were needed to rebuild what was left of their people, a third promised her father she'd return and I had already dragged another through everything and he stayed while grumbling the whole time, he did it all for his herd and I couldn't ask him to stay for us… But I- I didn't have anything to lose. I could and did live with the consequences for them, I don't regret it. And it wasn't like I had anyone who'd miss me." "Though apparently Talon and the tengu did…"
Jai was brought close to Forgal as he crushed her in a hug, squeezing her eyes shut Jai just waited for the norn to understand what she told him as they stood there.
"You were lying."
Looking up with a scrunched face Jai just asked, "What?"
"When you said you weren't anyone important."
Huffing a mirthless laugh she just retorted incredulously, "Are you still on that?"
"Yes I am. I swear, if you were a norn your legend would be told by the greatest of skaalds. You'd probably be a favorite at any moot, hunters would toast to your victories and whelps would try and compare their boasts to yours. Only to fail of course." He finished smugly.
Rolling her eyes Jai shook her head, "While I'm touched that you have such confidence in me, I'm almost glad I'm not a norn if that's the case. I'd much rather just sit quietly with good company."
Forgal snorted, "You called the other two as 'The Apostate' and 'The Lost', pretty strange titles…"
It took a bit for Jai to understand what he was getting at, "Oh, their names were stripped from them when they went against the source of the curse."
"WHAT!?"
Jai raised an eyebrow at the yell, "Those who embraced the curse gave everything to the source's cause, mind, body and soul. He- it owned everything. When they rebelled, their names were purposely lost from all records. Their actions are there, but their names were all replaced." She explained, and for the zealous followers of a fallen god of secrets, the knowledge of one's name being lost was a pretty severe but also obvious punishment. "In the end they were just called by a label, not a title. The act of calling something by just a label was to show that they were seen as lesser. Most of the beasts or constructs were labeled rather than named." Jai finished with a shrug.
Forgal on the other hand had gone chalky white, "And I'm guessing these…labels were derogatory?"
"Yeah, why?"
"…What was yours?"
"Ah-" Jai paused, "How'd you know?"
"I'm no idiot." The norn ground out angrily, "You said you resisted their curse, and clearly you hate them just as much as they probably hate you. If they've actively tried destroying your legend…" he trailed off.
Not knowing why Forgal was getting so worked up over her 'legend' Jai decided to answer him, it helped that she didn't feel like his anger was directed at her. "They called me 'The Forsaken', that or 'Kinslayer' but I'm actually kind of proud of the later one considering..." she hummed contemplatively.
Jai jumped back as Forgal started swearing expressively and violently, "They destroyed your legend!" He roared, "You checked didn't you! You know you aren't in any records! What kind of magic voo-doo wipes a person from history?! Those bastards! When I get my hands on them I'll-!"
"Forgal!" Jai called out, "Why is it such a big deal? I didn't do it for recognition…"
"Big deal?!" He asked incredulously, "A norn's legend is everything! They spend their whole life building that legend for it to be told to all generations, a norn not remembered is a norn not respected! And after what you've sacrificed you deserve respect at the least!" He started pacing furiously, "And your friends! Why didn't they spread your legend?!"
"They forgot me." Jai blurted, not even thinking in her surprise over Forgal's reaction, "Not on their own," She amended seeing the norn's face grow apocalyptic, "I didn't want them to be guilty about leaving me behind so I found a way to erase their memories of me when I took their taint."
The large norn wilted under her words, "Kid- Jai." He said, emphasizing her name, "They damn well should feel guilty. You don't, didn't deserve to be forgotten like that. To be forgotten is the worst fate a norn could have."
"I'm not a norn," Jai shrugged, "I'm not norn, human, or even one of them really. I'm just…me."
"You aren't being left behind again Jai, ever." Forgal stated firmly, his tone booking no argument, "I swear it."
Jai didn't know how to respond to that, wrapping her arms around herself the assassin ignored the burst of warmth that sparked in her heart. "We- we should get moving." She reminded him, "I never meant for us to get so side tracked, and we really should get back to finding that grawl."
She hesitated, "But Forgal?...thank you."
Forgal gave her a soft smile as they set back towards their destination. They had been sent to find a grawl shaman and possibly recruit his village as allies for the Vigil, the shaman in question had been the one to contact the Vigil first and from what Jai recalled from the debriefing the letter had been full of rants about a false god and ice, snow and death. Several Vigil tacticians had deduced that the false god was a minion of Jormag; elder dragon of ice and snow and so she and Forgal had been sent out to help given the norn's prior experience with Shiverpeak grawl and his rank being sufficient enough to act as stand in representative for the Vigil.
Her superior opened his mouth to say more when two younger voices drifted over to them.
"Who was Mom yelling at before? She sounded real mad."
"I think it was that weird, hairy guy with the bone hat. She kicked him out into the snow."
"Good. He was creepy and he talked funny."
Jai and Forgal exchanged glances before approaching a nearby house half buried in snow. As they got closer Jai could see two kids as tall as she was chasing each other around with snowballs as a woman she assumed was their mother watched over them from afar.
"Did you really toss a wounded grawl out into the snow? Which Spirit of the Wild teaches you to treat travelers like that?" Forgal demanded.
The norn woman sneered as she crossed her arms, "The Spirit of 'Shut Your Stupid Face and Mind Your Own Business, Grandpa.' All he did was grunt and bleed and moan about his false god." She rolled her eyes, "I'm as charitable as the next person, but he was stinking up the place and I didn't want him scaring my kids. So out he went."
Forgal drew himself up as Jai glared from under her hood. "Well, young lady, the next time you get lost or hurt in the snow, I hope you don't seek shelter from someone who calls on that spirit." Turning away the Warmaster gestured for Jai to follow, "Come on, Crusader. With all the wild beasts around here, that shaman is anything but safe, but I think we can still pick up his trail."
As soon as they were out of ear shot Forgal sighed, dragging a hand down his face, "Just terrific. The grawl aren't famous for their social skills. And for all we know, Gara's already dead."
"Gara's the name of the grawl shaman, right?" Jai asked, and after getting confirmation she shrugged, "Not much else we can do but find him, whether it's him or his body doesn't matter now."
Looking around Jai soon found red stained foot-prints in the snow. "Forgal." She called, pointing to the tracks.
"This is bad. The blood trail is going to draw every predator and scavenger in the region." Forgal said with a frown, "We need to hurry."
The two took off at a light jog, whoever left the trail did nothing to hide it and the drops of bright red could be seen from yards away. The further along they went the deeper Fogal's frown got, "This trail is too wide, too long. We'd better find him before he bleeds out."
Finally they crested a hill and saw a small dark shape holding up a wooden staff as it tried to fend off a massive bear that stood over it, the staff being the only thing holding back the beast's massive jaws. "Found him! But it looks like we're not the only ones"
Jai had vanished as soon as she saw the scene, quickly shadow stepping to the figure's aid the assassin quickly slashed at the bear, her blade cutting open its face forcing it to rear back with a roar of pain. The assassin didn't wait for it to try and intimidate her though, as soon as the bear reared up she tucked her head to her shoulder and held tightly to one blade as she rammed into the bear's chest. Jai's blade buried itself all the way to the hilt; the beast's roar tapered off as the blade punctured its heart.
Turning back to the grawl Jai held out a hand. The grawl looked like a large tail-less monkey, black and grey fur with white tribal paint covered his body while he wore only a loincloth, ornate necklaces of string, wood and teeth and a large headdress made from the skull of some wild animal. The grawl didn't take her hand but instead just whimpered on the snow.
"On your feet, grawl. The beast is dead, and we need to talk to you. The Vigil was asked to help by a shaman named Gara. Are you Gara?" Forgal asked, tone gruff but not unkind.
The grawl sat up and Jai immediately went to the large gash on his side, bandages and ointments appearing from her rune. "I am nothing. The god I praised is false. It has the power of winter, but it tried to kill me and failed." The grawl- probably Gara- moaned, "It is no god. A true god would not have failed. My 'god' is merely a savage beast. I am lost. Just let me freeze."
Jai snorted, "Abaddon was a real god, and he tried very hard to kill me but failed. Funny how once more I'm dealing with an errant god."
Forgal shook his head, "Can't. We need you. You have to prove to your tribe that their 'god' is really a dragon minion. We'll help."
"They won't listen." Gara said, wincing as Jai tightened the bandage she had wrapped around his torso. "Though it failed to kill me, the false god is very strong. It brings ice and death. They fear it and will not risk its anger."
"Then we kill it." Jai said bluntly, "Bringing its dead carcass will make them believe. And if they're still too blind to believe then at least the threat will be gone."
Forgal stared at her with a raised eyebrow while Gara slowly nodded, "Maybe... yes. With your help, perhaps they will listen. My home is not far from here. I will take you there."
And with that Gara got to his feet, hopping away in the direction of a nearby mountain leaving Jai and Forgal behind.
As they both started jogging to catch up Jai dryly observed, "Pretty spry for nearly dying of blood loss." Forgal snorted a laugh, "This furry little foulup better be worth all this trouble. I don't agree with that lady, but I see where she's coming from: grawl aren't to be trusted."
Shooting him a sidelong glance Jai said, "Not far from what could be said about me."
The norn grimaced, "I didn't mean it like that; we want all of Tyria to join our cause, but only if they'll contribute. The grawl could be strong allies, but I'm not convinced they'd be reliable."
Jai just hummed, but his explanation did help. "I didn't mean to accuse, the things said of my kind nearly always have very good cause."
"I still don't like it," Forgal grumbled, "You aren't anything like them, I can tell that and I only have half the story, probably not even." His words brought a grin to Jai's face.
"I almost wish you were there with me back then." She mused wistfully.
Forgal teasingly bumped her shoulder, "Only 'almost'? Jai? Careful, you might hurt my feelings."
Laughing lightly but eyes serious Jai replied in a falsely flippant tone, "As much as I'd love have had you as a partner back then I'd also much rather not put you through the things I've been through. And I really do prefer you not being Touched."
The large norn slumped, all joking gone, "Jai…you really need to cut back on the 'better me than them' mentality. It'll get you killed someday."
The assassin just hummed as she though morosely, "It already has…"
Eventually they followed Gara's tracks to a large cave, signs of grawl habitation were everywhere with iced over totems and cave paintings crammed into every available space. Gara was waiting for them at the entrance.
Forgal spoke up, "Tell us, Gara. Have you convinced anyone else that the ice god is really a dragon minion?"
Gara shook his head, "No. The other shamans don't believe. They say I was rejected by the god, and that is why I didn't go to paradise. Now they're afraid the god will be angry because I wasn't worthy. I can't convince the tribe until I convince the shamans. The other shamans won't even let me in, saying that the god has cursed me."
Jai rolled her eyes, "Trust me, you aren't cursed."
Ignoring the sideways glance sent in her direction Jai let Forgal continue, "Right. So we'll need proof that the god is false."
"A corpse will work." The assassin repeated, "Could you lead us to this 'false god' Gara?"
The grawl let out a few excited "Ook!"s before hopping off, "This way! A-third-of-a-day's travel from home."
Sighing at the thought of trudging through more snow Jai resigned herself to a miserable day. "I wanted 'yes' or 'no' not 'let's go'." She complained before starting to follow the grawl, Jai made it a few yards before looking back since Forgal hadn't followed. "…Are you coming?"
"Yeah," He sighed, and from his tone alone Jai started getting worried,
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Am I okay?" the norn gave her an odd look, "How are you 'okay'? Why are you here, still trying to save a world that's only turned its back on you?"
Jai's eyebrows scrunched in confusion, "I don't follow…"
"The more I try to understand you the more you confuse me. You gave up everything from what little I know, and yet you're still fighting for Tyria. The same Tyria that you're afraid of. Why?" he asked.
"Oh," she said lifelessly, the reason honestly didn't even occur to her. It was just what she did. Sighing again Jai pushed back her hood to run her fingers through her hair as she contemplated what her friend was asking. It seemed he also understood that she was giving it some serious thought as they both just walked in silence for almost an hour before Jai spoke up again.
"After this mission; when we get back to Fort Mariner, I'll grab some ale for you and find a nice private corner." The assassin started, "And… and I'll explain everything. I can't really answer your question without the whole story and it really isn't something I can tell you out here." A wry half-grin came to her face, "You already took the honeyed version of the worst part pretty well."
Forgal frowned, "Jai, as confused as I am I don't want to push. If you aren't ready yet or don't want to-"
"I want to." She pressed, and honestly she did.
It was roughly four hours of walking later that the small group arrived at the lower half of Dredgehaunt Cliffs. They had taken a break for a quick lunch of rations where Jai gave hers to Gara and waved off Forgal's concern before approaching the cave.
"This is the false god's lair." Gara grunted, "When I came here before, I was blinded by faith. Now I see it for what it is: a killing ground."
"A pretty accurate description," Jai thought, seeing the broken bones and strange black-blue ice jutting out everywhere.
Forgal stepped forward, "Stay alert. We have no idea what the grawl are worshipping in that cave." He eyed the strange ice, "Though I have a good hunch it's one of Jormag's minions."
Jai blinked, "Then this strange ice is common with Jormag's corruption then?"
The norn's face was grave, and Jai remembered what she knew of his past with an internal wince as he answered her, "Yes, it is."
Together they cautiously entered the cave. Once inside sound began to echo, the strange corrupted ice coating every surface. Jai had both blades drawn, and her eyes scanned every nook and crevice with deep enough shadows for something, anything could hide in. She also began sending tendrils of her magic through her blades, preparing her standard venomous hex.
The assassin's paranoia paid off, as a sudden high pitched hissing was the only warning before a massive ice encased spider descended from the ceiling only for Forgal to grab it around the middle and throw it to the ground before crushing it under a forcefully planted boot. "Spiders, eh?" He said rhetorically as he shook the sticky gut-goo from his boot, "Don't worry. I've stomped on bigger bugs than these."
Barking a quick quiet laugh Jai added, "And I've crossed bridges made from giant centipede carcasses."
Forgal stared at her, "Dolyak shit."
She grinned, "I'm serious."
The norn opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by another spider, this time it was accompanied by several more of its kind. As they fought their way through the frozen arachnids Jai, Forgal and Gara eventually made it deep enough into the cave that a massive hollow bellow called out from the depths. Turning to face the new arrival Jai saw a large bipedal frozen humanoid, its skin completely frozen through and its face a frozen skull behind an icy draconic muzzle with massive horns arching upwards. It also dragged a massive and bloody war hammer behind it. Eyes darting from the new abomination to Forgal Jai saw several similarities in basic body structure. "Was that thing once a norn?"
"I knew it, that's no god," the Warmaster breathed, voice hardening with conviction, "that's just a norn who chose to bow to Jormag. Look at him now. Pathetic! No norn should endure such corruption. Kill that thing!"
Nodding Jai made to shadow step behind it only to be knocked down to the ground as without warning several of the corrupted ice crystals around them exploded, shards cutting through her armor and a few even embedding themselves in her leg. Hissing at the pain Jai quickly grabbed a hold of the dagger sized shard embedded half-way through her calf and yanked it out. A low scraping sound made the assassin look back up just in time to see the corrupted norn hefting its massive hammer to bring it down on a rolling Forgal. Shouting a warning even if it looked like her superior knew what was coming Jai threw the ice shard that was still coated with her blood at the thing, following through with the movement even as the shard embedded itself into the abomination's chest with no visible effect.
The hammer came down inches away from Forgal, and just as it landed Jai appeared on top of it, uninjured leg raised. With all her strength Jai kicked the beast right where her shard had hit, forcing it deeper with a loud series of cracks and making it let go of its weapon. The assassin quickly crumpled back to the ground however, her kick having thrown her off balance only to be caught by Forgal. "Thanks for the save, are you alright kid?"
"Fine." She bit out, "Where's -"
"Ook-ook!"
Eyes widening Jai's head snapped to Gara, the grawl limping away with fresh waves of blood leaking from his bandages. With unexpected speed the corrupted norn grabbed the shaman by the neck and held him aloft, his feet kicking uselessly in mid-air as it raised its other clawed hand. "Gara!"
She had seen this scene played out enough times in the Realm that she didn't even need to think, they needed Gara to get through to his people and with the sight of him in danger she just reacted. Magic flooding her hands Jai's fingers flashed fuchsia as they slapped the ground. Everything went black and then excruciating pain as a single pained gasp of air escaped her lips.
"-JAI!"
ooo
Forgal felt like his blood had been replaced with ice. One instant it was Gara held in the icebrood's hand, and Jai beside him. The next it was swapped, the injured grawl by his side and Jai held by the throat. But that wasn't what terrified him; it was what had happened next.
He only had time to call out to her, but even that was too late.
The icebrood's clawed hand had pierced through her chest, a hitched breath the only sound escaping her as she was impaled on a frozen arm in a spray of her strange black blood. Her whole body was limp, the long leather coat she favored seemed to dwarf her unnaturally still form and her low hood hid everything but her dark grey lips that were just slightly parted. For one brief heartbeat he saw his daughter in her place, clouded blue eyes staring at nothing and body limp with a slash through her throat. Denial fell from his numb lips, "No, no no no…"
She was his responsibility. He was supposed to look out for her, it was just one dragon minion, he had seen her face worse with the Renegades, he was sure she had faced worse from what hints she dropped. It didn't matter though, in the end he had failed. "No, not again," He failed to protect her, he failed to stop Jormag's minions. Forgal cursed Jormag, once again the ice dragon had taken someone he was close to. Memories flashed through his mind, a small norn girl showing him a purple butterfly with a crooked gap-toothed grin and flyaway hair as dark as Raven's feathers like her mother's before being overlaid with a cheeky recruit with a crooked grin telling him she was fine even as her black hair was dusted in dirt from her tumble with a charr while purple eyes sparkled with some hidden joke. He failed again, "Not when she was just opening up. She deserved better damn it!"
A fierce snarl spread over his face as Forgal gripped his sword tightly, he was about to charge the monster, to kill it no matter the cost when a cold flash of steel halted him in his tracks. The icebrood suddenly jerked back, one of Jai's blades embedded in its lower abdomen. Forgal felt his breath catch in his throat as he hesitantly followed the blade from hilt to the familiar gloved hand that held it and from there up the arm and his stunned eyes met the shadows of Jai's hood, or rather what would normally be just the shadows. Now he saw her purple eyes glowing with furious and unrestrained magic and a vicious feral snarl on her lips.
The icebrood jerked as the blade was ripped out with a savage twist and then plunged back in, this time another blade joining it as the Crusader began to brutally stab it again and again even with a massive and still bleeding hole in her chest and one icy hand still clutching her throat so tightly Forgal would swear he could see the ice starting to crack under the strain. Finally one blade punctured all the way through the arm holding her up, and with a twist of the hilt Jai's throat was released as the icebrood finally began howling, its chest and arms by that point full of cracks and holes with chunks of ice having been ripped out. Jai dropped to the ground, landing on her feet and still ignoring the fatal wound that should have instantly killed her, never mind what could have been done to her throat.
Instead she let out an inhuman shriek before leaping back onto the icebrood, staggering it and forcing it to the ground as she embedded both blades directly into its heart. By now Forgal had unconsciously backed up against the walls of the cave, hand blindly reaching out behind him for something to hold his weight as he felt his knees start shaking. Jai's blades had frosty blue magic creeping up them as she kept the struggling icebrood down, its jerks becoming slower and weaker as its magic was leeched from it.
Forgal was horrified by the whole scene, was this Jai's curse? Was this what her kind were like? "If Jai's the one who resisted the curse then the ones who embraced it….Spirits, what kind of horrors has she gone through? What kind of horrors are out there?" With a small whine in the back of his throat Forgal slowly began sliding down the wall as he stared with wide eyes at the scene. "What in the name of the Spirits happened to her? What is she?!"
"Jormag will devour you…." The icebrood rasped weakly, having finally given up on struggling.
Jai cocked her head slightly, the motion reminding him more of a curious raven than a human. But when she spoke it sent chills down his spine, "Let him try."Her voice was distorted, echoing, and distant.
A single blade was raised, tendrils of black shadow magic coiling its lethal length before it slammed down onto the face of the icebrood, icy face shattering as did the rest of the corrupted norn until it was nothing more than frozen dust.
Suddenly Jai slumped, blades falling from her hands to clatter hollowly in the deathly silent cave. She just sat there, unmoving and hunched over with her back facing him. "I'm sorry."
Forgal started when he heard her voice- normal and hoarse- but she continued before he could even open his mouth. "This…wasn't how I wanted you to find out."
His mouth was open but the only sound that came out was a strangled choking sound, what should he say? Forgal could barely even form a single coherent thought.
Movement from his side reminded the old norn that Gara was still there beside him. Letting out soft 'ook's the shaman gingerly hopped over to Jai whose shoulders had started shaking. "You are new god." He said with excitement ignoring her softly spoken "No," as he kept babbling, "The false god's champion could not kill you, you came back from dead!"
"I'm no god."
"Ook! You are new god! New powerful god! You just did not know before!" Gara was nearly bouncing with excitement.
"I am not a god. I'm the farthest thing from a god." Jai repeated more firmly.
But Gara didn't listen, "I can be your shaman!"
"I am a DEMON!"She nearly roared, turning on the grawl and glaring furiously. Her voice had gained an echoing edge once more. "I am a damned demon from the Realm of Torment itself! An abomination made from the last of Abaddon's spite!"
Then her still luminescent eyes met Forgal's own, and just as quickly as she had filled with fury she fell to her knees and began sobbing. The cries jolted him to action, he'd figure this mess out later, and he'd get answers later. Right now his partner needed him. And he wouldn't fail her this time.
ooo
All it took was one glance at Forgal's ashen face to remind Jai of what he had just seen. "He knows," she thought and the fear she saw in every miniscule movement he made drove burning spears into her heart. Heedless of her surroundings Jai crumpled to the ground as a strangled sob made it past her half-healed throat, her eyes burning red hot as tears began cascading down her cheeks. "He must think me a monster now…after what he just saw."
Jai was so lost in her own mind that when she felt a pair of large arms wrap around her shoulder she jerked back; pushing against their owner only to freeze when she saw it was Forgal. "Wh-what are you doing?"
Instead of answering the norn just drew her close. Jai froze when she realized he wasn't attacking her, he was embracing her. Stifling her sobs Jai tried to gently push him away, but a soft breath by her ear stopped her.
"It's okay kid. Everything's alright."
"He's…still here." The dam broke. Burying her face into Forgal's breastplate and heedless of the hard metal Jai just sobbed, releasing all the stress of hiding, all the fear all the worry. She just cried, clinging to Forgal as he gently rubbed circles on her back and kept up a steady stream of muttered reassurances.
Jai didn't know how long she just cried out all the emotions she had kept pent up for so long, everything had just come crashing down wave after wave. All the fear and worry since coming back to Tyria, and at some point she could feel all the frustration, anger, sadness, apprehension, terror and just plain anguish she had just locked away until it numbed over suddenly come back screaming for her attention. Jai the assassin, the demon hunter, the unstoppable woman who never stopped fighting, who stood up against everything she ever once fought for in the name of what she thought was right, who led a broken army through a war, who witnessed unspeakable horrors and killed a god finally let herself stop. Jai finally looked back on what had happened to her and didn't push it aside. She clung to Forgal like he was the only anchor she had in the emotional typhoon.
"He's still here, he didn't leave. He's still here."
Eventually her tears dried, leaving Jai feeling more exhausted than she had ever remembered feeling in years, decades or even centuries. "I'm sorry," She muttered.
The arms around her tightened slightly, "Don't be, it seemed like you needed that."
"I did," Jai thought miserably, "More than I realized."
"I- I owe you an explanation…" She started.
"You don't have to do it now." Forgal said gently, "It can wait."
She shook her head, "No, you deserve to know….everything."
He was silent for a bit, "Alright. Where do you want to start?"
Jai was silent for a bit before she started speaking tentatively, "Everything started one year before the exodus of the gods, when a man named Jadoth prayed to the Lord of the Everlasting Depths, the Keeper of Secrets. And Abaddon responded by gifting him magic, making him the first of the Margonites…"
And so she told the tale, the ancient history tumbling from her lips as she spoke of Abaddon's war against the five gods, of how he fell and was imprisoned. She didn't even notice when Forgal jerked his head and waved Gara off with how absorbed she was in finally just spilling everything. Jai spoke about how Abaddon would send out demonic servants to disrupt Tyria during his imprisonment. She explained that it was a servant of Abaddon who persuaded Shiro Tagachi to murder Emperor Angsiyan, and cause the Jade Wind. That Abaddon sent the titans, who acted as gods for the charr and gave them the means to perform the Searing. And how when the charr assaulted Orr, it was the disguised demon Razakel who convinced Vizier Khilbron to read the Lost Scrolls and sink the nation in the Cataclysm.
The longer she spoke the hoarser her voice got and the tighter Forgal held on to her. She could feel him stilling with each Tyria shattering truth but she didn't stop, she couldn't really. Jai finally had someone she could tell, someone to whom she could explain everything and all the dark secrets she uncovered came falling from her numb lips as she moved on to her own history. "Two hundred years after the Jade Wind a girl was born at a brothel, her mother dying in the process and the bitter crone of a matron named her after an ancient Canthan word for curse. The girl was only three years old when one of the guild masters of the Am Fah; a notorious gang that ruled the Undercity, came and demanded protection payment. The matron gave him the girl to train as a new member of the guild, telling him that my name was Jai…"
Forgal's breath had caught in his throat when she switched from 'her' to 'my'. "Jai…you said that the Jade Wind happened four hundred and fifty years ago. The girl was born about two hundred and seventy years ago."
She knew what he was leading to. "I know."
"The girl was you," He whispered, dawning realization mixed with fear in his hoarse voice.
"Yes."
"Two hundred and seventy years…" He said in horrified awe, "You've been alive for two hundred and seventy years."
Jai snorted, "I'm two hundred and seventy-eight actually, and I wouldn't call it 'alive'. The first time I died I was only twenty-three."
She heard Forgal make a small strangled sound in the back of his throat and his hold on her tightened. "I was fourteen when I was sent on a routine package delivery; I went through a couple back allies when I found two Jade Brotherhood who had cornered a tengu warrior. The Tengu War had only just ended a few years prior, and there was still a lot of resentment, but I was curious since that was the first time I saw a tengu. When the Jade Brotherhood started to attack him though I threw some blinding hexes at them and knocked them out with a nearby plank of wood. The Am Fah guildmaster who took me in had called himself my 'father' and had been in charge of my training, he always encouraged disrupting the rival gang whenever possible." She had a small grin on her face, "The tengu introduced himself as Talon Silverwing, and soon took me with him back to Shing Jea Monastery…"
For the next couple of hours Jai told Forgal everything she went through during the Affliction, about the Envoys and of her relation to Shiro Tagachi. She told him about the Ministry of Purity's rise to power and attempted genocide of the Tengu which she stopped in exchange for her own banishment- which nearly set Forgal off in a rage again- and how she stowed away on the last ship to Elona before the embargo went into effect.
"After I…betrayed… Mhenlo, Cynn and the others and made sure the Ministry wouldn't hunt them down to try and hurt me I got on the first ship out of the docks. It was just my luck that the ship was heading to war…"
Jai told Forgal of the Nightfall prophecy, and how she ended up leading the Sunspear fugitives in their guerilla war against Koruna, using every underhanded trick in the book she had learned from the sewers of the Undercity and the Am Fah to give them any edge they could get. Jai told Forgal of her Order of Whispers, about releasing the lich Palawa Joko to cross the Desolation and of every hard decision she had to make which pushed her companions away from her each time because they never all agreed with everything she had to do.
When she got to the part where she and her companions had just defeated the margonite Varesh Ossa she faltered.
"Jai?" Forgal asked worriedly, "…what happened after that?"
She slumped deeper into Forgal's hold and closed her eyes, "We were too late, a rift to the Realm of Torment itself opened up…With us at its epicenter."
"You were dragged into the Mists." His voice cracked, "You were trapped there. You were left behind in a literal hell dimension."
"Please tell me I'm wrong ki- I can't even call you 'kid' anymore can I? You're a hell of a lot-" He winced, "You're …older than me by a long shot and I'm called an 'old man' on a near daily basis."
Snorting at the tangent the conversation had taken Jai murmured, "You can still call me 'kid' if you want. I'm technically still a kid in demon years what with the margonites being over a thousand years old. …and I kind of like it."
"Are you sure? I thought with just- everything that happened you'd…"
Jai smiled over how the large norn fumbled with his words, "My name roughly translates to 'Bound by curse', I kept using it out of spite when the margonites gave me my label. And because it was too much trouble coming up with another. Besides," She leaned back to look at Forgal, "I never had a nickname before."
They both shared tentative grins, Forgal finally letting her go from his hug to place a large hand on her head and ruffle her short hair into a static mess. That one action; exactly like the norn always used to do with her, let her know that the important things hadn't changed. She knew they couldn't go back to exactly how they used to be with each other, but somehow, someway, Forgal accepted her. He wasn't running in fear, trying to kill her, or anything like that.
Jai couldn't remember a time when she was happier than how she felt in that moment.
"What happened after…?"
Her grin sliding off her face Jai sighed before leaning against Forgal's arm as she told him about all the events leading up to her and Kormir's confrontation with Abaddon himself. The norn was back to growling when she mentioned fighting Shiro again, and this time he was accompanied by the lich Khilbron. She did grin at how Forgal nearly choked on his own spit in shock when she told him that she had killed the fallen god with Kormir ascending to godhood in his place. From there the tale was finally winding to a close as Jai summarized the details of how she had begged Kormir to remove the taint from their friends, and agreeing to take it upon herself in exchange for wiping their memories of her by replacing her with each other in their memories, her rescue of Koss would be remembered as Melonni's and so forth. From then on she became Kormir's champion; their relationship similar to that of Grenth and his seven reapers, with her leading numerous crusades into the remaining strongholds of Abaddon's followers to stop their attempts to resurrect their dead god or to rescue as many victimized tainted souls as she could and bring them to the Redeemed Realm that was under Kormir's influence. "The Forgotten wardens never really let me stay there long, they wouldn't do anything but Lost, Apostate and I never felt comfortable with the way they always glared at us. We were the only 'redeemed' demons and while we were never attacked we were always treated differently."
Jai took a deep breath, "One day, as I succumbed to my wounds after having finally killed Mallyx enough times to finally end that bastard with a blast of holy magic- and practically burning my own arms to crisps in the process- I woke up fully healed in Kryta. Thinking it was a dream I just picked a path and followed it to the battle of Shaemoor where I got caught up with the Seraph." She grinned, "I got knocked out again and one of Kormir's messengers told me that someone in Tyria was trying to summon a hero through the gods and she used it as the chance to let me go free. She sealed my taint and told me that she wanted me to help Tyria but that was left mostly open ended, and…that's it really. You know what happened after that."
"Really? 'that's it'? That's what you have to say after all that?" Forgal asked dryly but Jai could also hear just how overwhelmed he was feeling. Fiddling with her fingers guiltily she just shrugged.
Forgal sighed, a hand pressed down over his eyes, "You're one of a kind, kid."
A corner of her lips tugged up in her usual crooked grin, "Yes, I literally am."
The norn beside her groaned, "Are you seriously turning that into a pun? Oh hell-" he winced again as her grin widened, "- how many inside jokes have you been cracking without anyone knowing?"
"Too many to count," She quipped, "I usually keep them to myself for, well, obvious reasons."
"I give up. I will never understand how you can find humor in what happened to you…I just barely comprehend it now. I just-" he let out a frustrated sigh.
"I guess I owe you those ales hmm?"
"You're damn-" he grimaced, "-right you do. Bear's furry ass I can't even curse without bringing it up. I really need an ale right now."
Jai bumped her shoulder to his arm, "When we get back to Fort Mariner I'll pay, deal?"
Forgal chuckled, "You'll regret that."
"No I won't." She responded with a grin before looking around for Gara but not finding him. "Where did Gara go?"
"I think he went back to his tribe."
"Alone?"
The norn leaned back, "Yeah, I waved him off after you snapped at him. Last I saw he gathered a few bones and the icebrood's hammer before hopping off. Hopefully he's gone to convince his people of their false god and we'd just have to catch up."
Jai grimaced, "I'm sorry, I-"
Forgal gave her a quick hug, "Don't apologize; you needed to get all of it off your chest."
Hugging him back Jai admitted he was right, "I did, and thank you Forgal. Thank you so much."
"You're a great hero Jai, I'd say the greatest one to walk Tyria." His voice shook slightly, "And compared to you I'm embarrassed at what we call a 'hero' now days." Forgal then got up, looking down at her with a warm proud grin as he held out a hand to help her up, "But more than that, you're my partner kid."
Jai felt her happiness send warmth all the way to her toes, tears gathering at the edges of her eyes. Giving Forgal a wet and crooked grin as her voice failed her Jai reached out and took his hand. "You are the one who's the hero Forgal," she whispered.
ooo
They arrived at Gara's tribe late at night; the grawl shaman had indeed taken a few trophies and convinced his people that their god was false but luckily had not mentioned Jai's survival of a lethal wound. She and Forgal both pressed the shaman to keep it a secret to which the grawl agreed eventually, he had however persisted in his belief that she was worth worship, demon or otherwise much to her exasperation and Forgal's amusement. Gara had explained it away by claiming she was the champion of a true god; which to be fair was the truth, and so Jai explained about Kormir as the human goddess of truth while keeping to just what was common knowledge. The other shamans had thankfully decided not to begin worshiping Kormir, stating that she was for humans and not gawl to which Jai had agreed. In the end she and Forgal were invited to stay the night and were given food. One grawl had even fetched a bone needle and some string for Jai so she could stitch up her leather coat, she and Forgal both agreed to stay the night but her partner wanted to stay up and keep watch for a bit. "I may trust Gara but I'm not too sure about the rest of these grawl." He had whispered to her, "And besides, I still need to swallow everything you told me. It's…a lot to take in."
Jai had nodded and then settled down for the night, exhaustion from her emotional upheaval allowing sleep to easily claim her. She had nightmares though, each one revisiting old memories and merging them into a horror that could have come from the Foundry of Failed Creations. But when she woke up it was to a warm weight of Forgal's furred cloak draped over her, the norn himself snoring lightly with his back to the wall and still sitting upright right next to her.
The sound of hoots, ooks and clattering metal woke Jai up; the sudden noises had her on her feet in the blink of an eye with both blades in hand and crouched defensively in front of Forgal who still seemed asleep. As several grawl just blinked owlishly at her the assassin embarrassedly straightened and sheathed her blades. "Wha's going on?" she yawned.
"We preparing for false god's wrath." One of the grawl answered, while another nodded beside him.
Frowning Jai asked, "I thought we killed the false god."
"No," Jai turned to see Gara approaching, "We killed one of the false god's champions. We had seen several beings similar to the god but none as powerful as it. By killing the champion we will have angered it, it will come and unleash its wrath."
Jai felt her face settle into a hard expression, "Then we'll need to evacuate. Get all your women and children out of here now. Any warriors need to be armed and we will need barricades up as soon as possible." Turning around she started shaking her partner's shoulder, "Forgal, you need to wake up. We're going to be attacked."
He woke with a snort, blinking up at her with alert eyes as soon as she mentioned attack, "What's the situation kid?"
"We didn't kill the false god, it's now coming here."
"Ah crud."
Then the screams started.
"The god is here!" "Ook! Ook!" "Smash them!"
Pivoting on her heels Jai turned to the cave entrance just as a massive monstrosity charged into the cave, hastily erected wooden barricades splintering as it bucked about like a furious fear demon. Around its legs several corrupted norn charged in with weapons raised. The initial assault was a bloodbath.
Several grawl were immediately cut down, one of them was trampled under the rampaging beast. The arrival of the icebrood brought a blizzard with them, icy wind cut across Jai's face like small knives as she pushed Gara to the side, "Go, go GO! Get your people out of here!" She shouted before vanishing and reappearing in front of a grawl shielding a child.
Her upraised blades caught a frozen bastard sword as the assassin glared at the iced face of a corrupted norn. She held it off just long enough for the grawl and child to escape before shoving the blade away and launching her own offence. But the unbroken ice coating was too thick, each time she stabbed at it her blade would go no deeper than a few centimeters which never gave her enough leverage to do any real damage. Her slashes were equally ineffective much to the assassin's frustration. Kicking out at the icebrood she caught its chest with the flat of her boot and pushed it away a good meter to get herself some time to think.
The frosted armor was familiar to the enchantments used by ice elementalists of her time, that annoying familiarity with how her blades were so ineffective reminding her of them but also of how she got around that problem. With a feral grin on her face Jai's daggers began oozing black smoke as she channeled a disenchantment hex through them and charged back to her opponent. Her grin widened as this time the blade pierced the ice like a hot knife through butter. The narrow stab wound was all she needed as with a vicious twist she turned her blade while it was still stabbed into the icebrood, the motion sending large cracks through its icy body before she pulled it out and struck again.
From somewhere behind her Jai heard a blast of Forgal's warhorn, quickly dispatching her opponent the assassin scanned the cave for her partner. Everything was chaotic; grawl warriors were fighting, escorting out those that couldn't fight or dying. The massive four legged beast was still rampaging, frozen magic trailing behind it as it conjured several spears of ice to impale a nearby grawl. Her breath caught as she saw Forgal cornered by three icebood.
Instantly shadow stepping to him Jai reappeared in midair behind a corrupted norn with shadows trailing from her blades as she crossed them through its neck. Touching down for only a moment she leapt back and corkscrewed to build up enough momentum to kick the still crumpling headless body into another icebrood, knocking it back and to the ground. "Sons of Svanir... I should have known. They actually want to become the Ice Dragon's minions, so of course they'd be here."
He paused to smash a fist into the face of a nearby Svanir, the blow shattering the head into chunks of ice. "Blades don't work against these bastards- except yours apparently- and I don't have anything that can smash them."
Jai dispatched another approaching corrupted norn in a manner similar to how she did previously, "They only work with my hex breaking up the magic that's enchanting them. The water elementalists from my time were very fond of using ice armor."
"Sounds damn use- Kid! Look out!"
She tried to duck but wasn't quick enough; a massive hand came out of nowhere, slamming into Jai and suddenly she found herself flying through the cave before hitting the wall hard. Her head cracking on the stone as she fell down to the ground left Jai dazed while the false god bore down on her. Jai tried to get up, to get out of its way long enough to get her bearings back but she couldn't even pick herself up she was so disoriented. It was then that a massive roar filled the cavern, and a large brown blur stood between her and the minion of Jormag. Blinking hard and taking deep breaths Jai's world slowly stopped wobbling, her vision clearing up enough for her to realize what- or rather who- the brown-grey blur had been.
Forgal had morphed into a massive bear, his fur mostly speckled with grey but still a massive and imposing figure. Jai's eyes went wide as in each massive hand-like paw he held the icebrood's own frozen hands, his claws digging deep into the ice. With a grunt of effort the norn twisted and practically threw the icebrood down to the ground almost three yards away, several of the large icy spikes on its back breaking as it landed on them. Panting as he shifted back Forgal half turned to look at her while still keeping an eye on the dragon minion, "You alright there kid?"
"I'll be fine," Jai gasped "Forgal needs a weapon that'll work on that thing, my blades would just drain him if he used them….he needs a hammer or something…wait!", her gaze darted around the cave, Gara had dragged the hammer used by that icebrood in the lair back as proof. It should be somewhere in this cave.
By then the icebrood was back on its feet.
Eyes finally finding the hammer under several shattered pots of paint and feathers Jai quickly shadow stepped to it and grabbed it.
The beast was lumbering towards them now, growling in fury.
Delving deep into her magic Jai forced it into the hammer, wrapping her strongest disenchantment hex around the head and saturating it with her channeled mana to the point where the weapon began emanating so much black smoke it almost seemed to be oozing tar.
It was now galloping towards Forgal, each step shaking the ground.
Shouting out his name Jai tossed the hammer to her superior, watching with baited breath as he caught the weapon and just as the icebrood raised itself up on its hind legs to bring the full force of its massive weight down upon the norn he smashed it against the minion with a loud echoing crack. The weapon made contact with a blinding explosion of her magic, the hex biting deep into the creature's icy hide. Whole chunks of ice as big as her head were blasted off, and as it staggered from the blow, and the assassin could see large cracks arching all throughout what was left of it. The icebrood let out a keening wail of pain as Forgal moved in for another strike, hammer still radiating her magic as he struck again.
Jai dropped to her knees as her low magic levels made themselves known, she had poured every ounce of what she had into that hammer to make the hex as powerful and as long lasting as she could and she could feel it. The encroaching throbbing in her head also reminded Jai of her head wound. It had been worth it though as Forgal was devastating the false god, effortlessly swinging the hammer with all the skill of a Vigil Warmaster.
"Ha! Not bad for a beast. But we're better!"
Jai grinned, glad that he seemed to be enjoying himself. It wasn't long before he brought the icebrood to its knees, most of its icy carapace shattered to pieces and one of its limbs completely pulverized. Forgal killed it with a heavy blow to the head with the now magic-less hammer.
Sighing in relief Jai laid down on the cave floor, her whole body was sore from the beating she took. "Jai?"
Limply waving a hand in the air she huffed, "I'm fine. Just…dizzy. And sore."
There was the sound of armor scraping on stone as Forgal laid down next to her, "Thanks for the hammer. That hex was pretty handy."
"Hah, glad to help." She gasped before bringing her hands up to her head, "Owww, headache!"
Jai was startled when two large hands helped push her into a sitting position before gently running along the back of her head. She just blinked when Forgal hissed in a breath, "Jai…"
Her eyes focused on the hand he brought in front of her, his fingers coated in her black blood.
"The back of your skull is caved in." He said, his voice trembling slightly.
"Oh, ok."
The distressed sound Forgal made nearly made her laugh but Jai bit her cheek, "That is not 'fine' or 'okay' kid."
"Demon." She reminded. "Commander Thurnis was always saying that my fragility was my own fault." Jai said with a shrug, "He'd never pass up a chance to push me to stop wallowing in my own 'illusions of humanity' the scaly bastard."
Forgal paused, she could see the perplexed frown on his face but just as he opened his mouth to ask more Gara hopped over to them, "The false god is dead. We are finally free."
"I'm sorry, Gara. The false god, the Sons of Svanir...we didn't have time to prepare. You fought bravely, but in war, sometimes that just isn't enough." Forgal replied, still kneeling next to Jai.
Gara looked over the numerous dead that littered the cave, there were a lot more dead grawl than icebrood. "So many of my people gone, our homes destroyed. That was no god, but its fury was just as bad. These dragon minions shouldn't be mistaken as gods."
Forgal nodded, "Yes. The Elder Dragons send them out to claim as much of Tyria as they can. We have to stop them wherever we find them. That's why the Vigil sent us here when we got your letter and realized what your 'god' was. If we don't stand together, the entire world could end up like this."
Grunting in agreement Gara gave a sloppy salute but the effort was there, "I understand. We owe you a great debt. When you're ready to fight these dragons, send for me. I will stand with you. Until then, we must see to our dead and find a new home. Maybe even a new god." His eyes drifted to Jai who shook her head, "But if we cannot find a worthy god, we will worship no god at all."
"Good. We're going to need all the fighters we can get. Until then, we should start heading back." He turned to Jai, "Can you walk? We've got quite a distance to the nearest Lionguard haven and its waypoint."
"I can manage," Jai told him, "I heal fast."
"Head wounds are tricky though, no telling what's affected." He fretted.
Jai just waved him off, "I'll have to explain about my physiology to you, but really I'm fine." She assured as she tugged her hood back up and over her head. "Let's just head back to Fort Mariner."
Forgal sighed, muttering under his breath about "Reckless idiotic kid."
They spent an hour sharing breakfast with the grawl survivors, Forgal having gone hunting and bringing back two stags while Jai helped the grawl clear a campsite. Just before they left though Gara gave a letter to Forgal to deliver to the Vigil.
As soon as they were out of earshot of the grawl Forgal asked, "What did you mean by 'illusions of humanity'?"
"Technically I was quoting Commander Thurnis, he's one of the more racist Forgotten warden in the Realm. Doesn't like humans and really hates demons. He lost two of his sons to demons, so I can understand why but he never forgave the third for surviving when they didn't. His son- Captain Yithlis- was the leader of The Oddbodies, a group of misfits among the forces fighting Abaddon's loyalists. After Kormir's ascension I joined them and we worked well together till Yithlis died fighting The Unseen." She sighed, knowing that she was haphazardly jumping from topic to topic but she didn't really know how else to go about explaining it, "Death works differently in the Realm, demons are tied to the darker eldritch magics that the Mists are made of. So the only way to kill a demon would be through a strong enough blast of holy magic to completely dissolve everything that keeps it together, which varies depending on the strength of the demon. Or you kill it over and over again to weaken it enough to blast it to oblivion with holy magic." That was what she had to do with Mallyx the Unyielding.
"Non-demons however, they die much more easily. Any damned soul could easily either lose its will to live- so to speak- and be turned into a mindless lesser demon, or be eaten and assimilated into a larger demon. The Forgotten couldn't be turned into demons, they never explained why but Yithlis said it was something about the 'purity' of their magic." She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, this meant that they were just flat out killed. They were tough assholes though, and their magic was lethal but they were eventually nearly wiped out in the Realm, the only ones really left were the commanders, a few wardens and priests who stayed in outposts or after Abaddon's death in the Redeemed Realm."
"Yithlis was different though; he knew the risks but still went out anyway. After his death I led The Oddbodies and we became the elite strike force that led nearly every assault against the archdemons of the Anguish Domains. Garfaz is probably leading in my absence; I did name him second in command." Jai rubbed her eyes, "But I'm digressing. After Yithlis' death Thurnis' …animosity…shifted to me. He knew I was a demon and always made it clear that I should just give up trying to maintain my humanity and just give in to being a demon so he could strike me down like the animal he saw me as or unleash me like a rabid beast against the margonites."
Forgal's knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists.
Jai decided it was best to get back to his question, "Demons are made from the magic of the Mists themselves when you get to the absolute basics. And the Mists constitute the fabric of time and space that connects shards of reality - islands of existence. There is a reason the margonites use labels for what they view as the 'lesser' demons species, a beast-like demon would be formed of the ether from raw emotions or a single moment of reality and that emotion or moment is what defines the demon's existence." She gestured with her arms, throwing them out to symbolize just how all-encompassing that moment of creation was for a demon.
"That is why there are fear, wrath, insanity, nightmare, chaos, terror, and so forth demons." Jai elaborated, "With demons that were once people, there are two groups; titans and non-titans. Titans are the conglomeration of numerous souls all sharing a very strong emotion- revenge, hate, fury are the most common- and the resulting demon is often a horrific collection of body parts because of the numerous souls each thinking they should have an arm or a claw or something and as a result their forms are pretty malleable to any influence, even their surroundings. The titans sent to be the Flame Legion's gods were often near fires, and as a result pretty much became magma and with the appearance of living fire like Mhenlo and Garfaz had described, whereas in the Realm they were a mass of flesh and bone usually."
Forgal had gone chalky white, and Jai could tell that the topic was highly unsettling for him. With a grimace she continued, "The newer titans speak as a multitude, often using plural pronouns if they could speak at all. The older ones usually have nearly completely merged into a single being and are more similar to the beasts I mentioned earlier and speak in singular."
"Finally you have the non-titans, which is the category I and the margonites fall under." Here Jai took a deep breath, "We're formed from the tainted Mists magic saturating a soul to the point it starts changing. But like the torment beasts the moment we are first exposed to that taint- which we called being Touched- is the moment that defines us at our very cores." Swallowing thickly she plowed on, "You said you didn't understand how I didn't just say 'fuck the world, I'm done' right?"
Forgal let out a forced chuckle, "Not in those exact words, but yes."
Grinning slightly at his response Jai answered, "I was Touched during the siege of Gandara. It wasn't even a week since I had pretended to betray my friends to keep the Ministry of Purity from sending assassins after them and when I stowed away on the first ship I could I was an emotional wreck, feelings all over the place." She shrugged, "That's probably the only reason I act as human as I do. I know that my main thoughts were 'I want to help,' 'I just want those I care for to be safe,' 'I'm not a traitor, I did it for them,' 'I'll just blend in and help from the back' and the like."
"Those sound a lot like how you think now." Her partner summarized.
"Yeah," Jai agreed, "Abaddon would have no use for an army that went catatonic from insanity should the Realm of Torment break their minds- which it did- so instead the demonization process enhances those Touched traits and thoughts, exaggerating them the more the mind would otherwise just break."
"As an example, Shiro was touched by the demon disguised as a fortune teller the exact moment he believed he would be betrayed by his emperor. That rage, anger and desire for revenge and the lengths to which he went make a lot more sense when you look at him as demonized even if only partially by then and being haunted by the demon with its mesmeric illusions until his mind just snapped. From there we have regicide, the Jade Wind and the Affliction. I'm not excusing what he did, I did kill the bastard twice, but it does explain a few motives."
Jai shrugged, "We take that saying of 'I think, therefore I am' pretty literally, and we'd stick to those Touched thoughts for the rest of our existence or until they are completely and utterly proven beyond all doubt as wrong. That's what happened with Lost and Apostate, the margonites were all Touched when in moments of prayer or swearing loyalty to Abaddon which explains their fanatical faith in him. The Lost however deflected after learning of just how much Abaddon had doomed their people, I can only guess but he probably was Touched when swearing loyalty because he believed the god would save the margonites."
Shrugging Jai continued, "I was pretty depressed when I was Touched, I was resigned to what had happened to me. I remember thinking 'I'm just Jai, I may be a Tagachi but I'm just me.'; I didn't see myself as a hero or anything, just someone who did what needed to be done. And those thought are what I still hold as truths. Our self-perceptions even extend to appearance similar to the Titans, we are made of raw magic and a soul, and I still appear as mostly human because I clung to my humanity when I learned of the Touch. I was 'just Jai',"
She held out a hand and stared at it, knowing the grey skin lay just under the leather glove, "But I also know beyond any doubt that I am not human. I only bleed because I've been wounded enough times to know that I should. I have bones that break because I know they should be there to be broken; I have lungs because I know they should be there in humans because that's how humans breathe. My core pulsates like a heartbeat because I think I should have a heart."
Jai clenched her hand, "My body is a construct of my own subconscious beliefs about what a human should be like, but also mixed with the innate otherness of what my demonic mind-state is. I may have a stomach but I don't need to eat because I don't know how it works so the need was just discarded. I only breathe because I think I should but if I can't then it won't kill me. I can take head wounds and continue functioning like nothing is wrong because I only have a brain because I know there should be something in my skull but I don't know what parts do what. I have blood because I know I should bleed but I don't know why it should be red so it turned black like the magic that constructed me."
Coming to a halt Jai sighed, "That's what I am, that's why I'm an abomination of nature."
By now the Lionguard haven was within sight, but Forgal just stood beside her and pulled her close in a one armed hug, "I won't lie and say I'm not slightly weirded out by…all of that, because that was a lot of strange. But Mists construct or not." He gave her an encouraging grin and a poke at her sternum, "Your soul is in there and no matter how weird the shell it's still you and you're my partner."
"Change doesn't come easy to an old soldier. You didn't give up on me...and I won't give up on you. We do this together." He encouraged.
The smile Jai gave him was blinding.
May 5, 2016
Words: 13,222
Pages: 26
AN:
- P.S. Please please please review, it makes my heart and soul sing with joy. Seriously, review, I'd love to hear what you think will happen, what you think of my OC, and how I'm doing. Have any head-cannons with Jai? Share them!
-Also, who can tell I've been binge reading Danny Phantom fanfics? Eh? Haha….I also researched Gorseval and the Demons of the Realm of Torment a lot when coming up with all my above theories, and honestly I think my explanation explains a lot. Do you agree? Disagree? Have ways that expand upon what I came up with? I'd love to hear what you all think so feel free to share!
