Betrayal and Turkey.

Chapter Thirty.

By Hopping Hamster.

The next thing Kathryn knew Chakotay was leaning in closer to her, his hand found it's was into her hair and rested on the back of her head, slowly his face leaned into her and before she knew what was happening or was able to stop him his lips softly and gently met with hers. The taste of coffee he had missed so much suddenly invaded Chakotay's senses, a taste he had longed for. She held there for a second and let him kiss her. Part of her wanted to stay there, part of her wanted to allow this beautifully loving assault of her lips but she knew she couldn't no matter how many sleepless nights she had longing for him to kiss her stood tall on the streets of Trebus like he was now. Slapping his chest with her hand she forced herself away from the tender kiss as she yelled "get off!" as soon as she shouted he backed off, he didn't even try to fight or complain about it. Surprised she met his eyes, his dark eyes only looked at her with love as she gasped at him with confusion and shock "what the hell are you doing?" she snapped unforgivingly wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as though in disgust. A gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Chakotay though he chose not to say anything. About it though the hurt was written in his eyes.

"I'm sorry" he gasped stepping back and looking at her , when she only looked up and scowled with her death glare firmly in place he felt frustrated as he snapped "Spirits Kathryn I am sorry, I didn't mean…." But his voice trailed off when she folded her arms and stared furiously at him "I mean I did mean..." to which she pulled a face and he concluded "you're looking beautiful and I…"

A smile threatened to crack into her features, it wasn't like Chakotay to mince his words or blubber what he was saying. "Chakotay" she sighed wanted to burst out laughing as she stood staring at him pulling on his ear lone.

"Yes?" he asked lowering his hand from his ear and looking at her with concern.

Tilting her head and raising her eyebrow she almost laughed "shut up"

Closing his eyes at frustration of her not taking him seriously she snapped "I'm trying to say you look nice"

Hanging her head and folding her arms she smiled and asked softly "by kissing me?"

"Most women would take a kiss as a compliment" he told her frustrated.

"firstly I am not most women" she snapped at him her blue eyes flashing at him "secondly you are in a relationship with a another woman" she gestured at him furiously with both her hands "and thirdly I am still very angry with you" she growled through gritted teeth and with that she pounded his chest with her hands a few times and when satisfied she nodded at him with her eyes narrowed and her jaw set.

If Chakotay was annoyed with her he didn't show it as he asked softly "is there any way I can make it up to you?" He wanted to take her beautiful tiny body in his arms and hug her. She looked beautiful in that dress, he remembered the first time he had seen it, many years ago on Voyager, she was a little younger then but so was he. But she still fitted well into and was every image of beauty still.

"No" she scowled looking out over the market. Suddenly something caught her eye, platting his chest lightly she walked away from him without a word as though interested in something.

Chakotay was confused by her reaction and it took him a second to realise she was moving away from him into the crowed of the market. "Please Kathryn don't walk away" he called half running after her. When she didn't stop walking and didn't even turn to acknowledge him calling her he leaned in and grabbed her hand softly asking in a deep begging tone "please"

His touch made her stop walking but she didn't turn to him as she stood letting him hold her hand and asked softly "why not?"

Tears filled his eyes as he looked at her stiffening back, her shoulders were read where she had caught the sun on Trebus's desert but that wasn't what had got his attention the most. There on her shoulders, all the way down her right side especially was deep, red and white scaring. Chakotay could only assume this was from the accident or the surgery, or both but it saddened him to see. Drawing in a breath he almost begged "please don't go back to earth like this"

Shaking her head, refusing to let him in again she told him with all the courage she had "Chakotay you had your chance, it's long gone now" as she slowly turned to him she wished she hadn't because she saw nothing but pain and sorrow flicker through his eyes. She too was trying to fight back tears, trying to stay strong because deep down all she wanted was him.

Chakotay saw the intent in her eyes and knew she was going to walk away. He freely let the tears fall from his as he almost begged "no please Kathryn…."

Kathryn took a deep breath, she felt his hand reach her face and she stiffened until she realised he was wiping away the tears which had fallen from her eyes without her realising. "Chakotay…" she warned reaching up and taking his hand from her face, her eyes still shut gently.

"I love you" came Chakotay's soft and gentle voice which shocked her.

Her eyes flashed open and she met his gaze as she gasped "what?" in surprise.

"I love you Kathryn" Chakotay repeated firmly not taking his eyes from her "I just wanted you to know before you go home tomorrow."

Hanging her head Kathryn contemplated telling him of her decision to stay but decided better of it and shook her head, setting her aw and saying firmly "Chakotay I can't do this now" Chakotay didn't miss the slight hint of begging in her words.

Shaking his head sadly he lowered his hand from her light grip and turned away slightly saying "I'm so sorry Kathryn" with such a sad heavy sigh in his voice.

Feeling responsible for his sorrow and yet overcome with emotions she sighed at him saying deeply "look please I just need some space" she was hopeful her words would offer him some comfort somehow, even though she didn't know how it would.

Chakotay felt his anger flare back in "I'm sorry I should never have interrupted you" he growled nodding towards the café where she had been peacefully sat drinking her coffee.

Smiling she softened a little as she rested her hand on his chest, his heart beat faster at her touch as some smiled warmly "I was thinking actually" she told him taking a breath before saying "about you" at her words he looked at her with such hope in his eyes as she turned quickly and added "about what we once had" then she admitted softly "what happened between us" as she admitted this he took the daring step and wrapped his arms around her. He was surprise she sank into him where he stood behind her as her hands went up to rest on his arms coving her chest as he wrapped them tightly around her she asked in her deep distant voice "life was so much simpler back on Voyager wasn't it?"

Kissing her now long silky auburn hair he whispered deeply in her ear "you think Voyager was simple?"

She pulled from him and turned back to him nodding "We were a family" closing her eyes she lowered her head. Opening her eyes again she watched as she drew pattern's in the sand with her feet as she did this she admitted "we missed you the other day at the reunion" when Chakotay didn't reply he only watched her she once again closed her eyes and allowed herself to admit "I missed you" then with a distant throaty laugh she told him "I think I convinced myself after you came last time you might come again"

Feeling regret at letting her hopes down he sighed and admitted "I suppose I was angry after last time"

Raising her head she met his eyes and asked softly "are you still angry now?"

"Maybe a little" he nodded not taking his eyes from hers. When he saw only pain there he smiled slightly and turned away saying "more hurt than angry"

"I am sorry" she whispered hoarsely as though something was stuck in her throat "I didn't mean to lead you on" shaking her head she insisted "that wasn't what I wanted"

Turning back to her, pain evident in his eyes he stopped close to her and looked down into her beautiful sapphire eyes staring up at him and asked "Why did you kiss me" at the question she tilted her head away at the intensity of his closeness and stare. Lifting his hand he used his forefinger and thumb to gently guide her face back to him as he asked "why did you come with me to San Francisco and ask me to stay with you if you didn't mean it"

Holding her face looking at his she met his eyes. Her chest beating heavily as tear sprang once more into her deep blue orbs as she instead "I did mean it" the intensity in which they stared at each other was mystifying. Holding his gaze she insisted firmly "really I did"

Confused and unsure Chakotay shook his head at her in question "but?"

Pulling away she looked around her at the beauty spanning this world and she asked softly and sadly "how could I ask you to leave Trebus, to leave this beauty for me" he watched her as she once again hung her head and said deeply "I was a useless cripple" then turning back to him she folded her arms slightly and admitted "I still am"

"You're not a cripple" he snapped frustrated at her for saying something alike that about herself "you are not useless"

Tear filled her eyes, how could she tell him? How could he understand? Deciding not to go that far, not to tell him she shook her head and admitted "but I was"

"You were injured" Chakotay pressed watching her closely "you were not useless"

"Chakotay?" she asked almost as though she hadn't heard him.

"Kathryn?" he asked back at her to let her know he heard her.

Slowly her eyelids flicked up to meet his eyes. He was close now, so close, his breath was warm against her face. Her heart was pounding as she whispered softly "Your hand is on my face"

His smiled broke, dimples flashing as he let his thumb run softly over her cheek as he admitted "I know"

Without breaking eye contact she didn't pull away as he had expected her only raised her hand to place it on his where it rested on her cheek as she asked "why?"

Not moving his hand, silly caressing her with his thumb he asked lovingly "how can I ever make up to for what I did?"

Raising her eyebrow but nor did she lower her hand she whispered "I don't think you can" then she squeezed his hand where it rested exactly where he had struck her a few days before and she asked "how can I forgive that?"

"I didn't know" he said sadly, tears filling his eyes "please Kathryn"

"Please what?" she asked softly lowering her hand and placing it gently on his chest.

Taking a deep breath he pushed saying "at least tell me you don't love me"

"Chakotay…." She said softly pulling away "don't"

"Go on Kathryn tell me you have no feelings for me" he pressed pushing her emotionally a little harder.

"Why do you think I am here, if not because I love you?" she told him, her eyes letting the tears fall but her face turned from him.

Chakotay looked as though victory had come to him as he pressed "So you do love me" slowly his beautiful, tear filled Kathryn nodded her head. With a smile he took her hands and pulled her to him unrelenting as he demanded firmly "Say it"

Trembling slightly with emotion she tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her. "I love you Chakotay" she gasped softly "damn you I love you" with that she beat his chest and he allowed her. As tears fell uncontrollably and he thought she was going to fall with the emotional pressure she told him in a deep rich voice "I always have"