Betrayal and Turkey

Chapter 32

By Hoppinghamster.

Thank You for all the interest in this story, hope you like where this is headed.

Thank You also for the interest in my other stories, I am aware I have a few unfinished stories on her but I am only working on one story at a time but it is my intention to finish ALL my stories in due time. Sorry if I have left anyone hanging. Things in the real world can be sometimes busier than expected but all my stories will be completed as soon as possible so keep your eyes out for the updates! Thank You.

Carissa didn't even bother to hide the shock on her face, then confusion and then Kathryn watched as realisation dawned and then Carissa almost burst out laughing until she managed to control herself upon seeing the hurt in Kathryn's well trained blue eyes. Raising her hand Carissa tried to wipe the smile form her face saying "sorry" then shaking her head and asked "Chakotay?" when she saw Kathryn was still looking at her with the picture of seriousness Carissa told her new friend "Chakotay's not the father"

It was Kathryn's turn to not even hide her surprise "He's not?" she asked, her heart suddenly calming down a little.

"no" Carissa smiled placing her hand on the shorter woman's shoulder "oh spirit's no" giving her shoulder a squeeze she reassured "Chakotay and I got together after Yaham, her father, left"

Kathryn's mouth fell open as she gasped and said deeply "Oh"

If Carissa was offended in any way she didn't let on, smiling she told Kathryn "Chakotay and I have only been together a few weeks"

"Oh" Gasped Kathryn watching her and then tried to explain herself adding "I thought with you having been living together…"

Carissa cut across her shaking her head and saying "This is Yaham's home, really I shouldn't be here, but for the sake of Tia he lets me stay until I can find somewhere" Kathryn just nodded in reply unsure what to say having not met this Yaham or knowing anything about his relationship with Carissa or his daughter. Carissa jumped to the man's defence saying firmly "he's not a bad father, he and I…. well we just didn't work out"

Kathryn smiled her understanding and asked "so you moved in with Chakotay?"

"He was keen" Carissa sighed sadly then with a shrug she turned away and added "desperate even" Kathryn felt very sad to hear Chakotay descried as a desperate men willing to take anyone. It was Carissa's turn to look sad as she admitted "sekey warned me" turning back to Kathryn the younger woman met her eyes and said softly "she warned me he was trying to purge himself of the love he still held for the distant white woman, the long lost Starfleet Admiral"

Kathryn hung her head and said sadly "I can't answer for him" it did sadden her to learn he had been with another woman and pining after her the whole time but it did raise her hopes but she hoped Carissa wouldn't see she was happy by this news.

Carissa did notice and it made her happy to see, this Kathryn janeway was a beautiful woman and everything Chakotay had ever said she was and she was honest and fair just as he had said. Smiling at her Carissa said "but you're going to tell me he's not a bad man"

"he's not" Kathryn once again insisted firmly but when she looked at the younger woman she saw that she did in fact agree with her. There was more to it than Kathryn was letting on.

Taking a seat near the fire Carissa decided to ask straight out "do you still love him Kathryn?" When Kathryn just stood and stared at her the young woman gestured to a chair opposite her "please sit down"

Slowly Kathryn sat and tried to think what the best thing to say would be "Thank You" was all she offered at first in reply to being told to sit. Carissa smiled softly but kept her eyes trained on her wanting her to answer the question. Taking a deep breath Kathryn nodded honestly and said "I do"

Carissa nodded with respect at the older woman and said softly "Thank You for your honesty" Kathryn smiled a brave smile as Carissa told her "it takes bravery to come here this way and admit that"

Kathryn tilted her head in the younger woman's direction and told her "you deserve the truth" then shaking her head slowly she told her "I didn't want to hide from you"

Carissa nodded and told her seriously "he still loves you a lot" it pained the younger woman to say, she had hoped, dreamed, of a life with Chakotay but she had always known it wouldn't be quite how she had hoped and now she had actually met this beautiful white woman who held Chakotay heart she understood why.

Kathryn asked softly and genuinely "what about you?"

"he never really loved me" Carissa was quick to admit honestly, she liked the honour this older woman was showing her and the respect she gave her as the one Chakotay was in a relationship with, she just hoped she could make her see that Chakotay was never going to love anybody but her, and that if she loved him they were perfect together.

"I'm sure he did" Kathryn told her, but they both new more out of politeness than anything else.

"He thought he did" Carissa admitted with a sad smile as she looked down at the child she still held in her arms and slowly and sadly corrected himself "or rather he wanted to"

Kathryn gave the younger woman the decency of insulting her intelligence as she sighed and said honestly "I'm sorry"

Carissa shrugged and offered a sad smile saying "I made a choice" then once again looking down at her beautiful sleeping daughter she said softly "I needed somebody to be a father figure for my child" Kathryn smiled warmly as Carissa admitted "he deserves more than that"

Kathryn didn't mother to argue or disagree with her she just said simply and honestly "you daughter is beautiful"

Carissa saw the longing in Kathryn's deep blue eyes as she looked at Tia and asked gently "do you have any children?"

"No" Kathryn almost laughed as though it was a stupid thing to ask "in Starfleet I didn't have time for that kind of thing"

Carissa was almost shocked as she asked "do they ban it?"

"No" admitted Kathryn slowly "no they don't but it takes great strength and courage to be able to do both"

"Maybe" Carissa said slowly but when Kathryn didn't respond and continued to look sadly at the child Carissa cut to the core of things "looks Kathryn I am sorry I don't really know what you want from me"

"I came to defend Chakotay" Kathryn told her honestly and equally as matter of fact "to tell you he's not a bed man" Carissa just held her eyes and didn't respond as Kathryn almost begged "and to ask you to take him back"

Carissa just stared at her and then stood and shook her head at Kathryn as she too stood. Then she told Kathryn "it's not me who needs to realise those things" Kathryn was shocked as Carissa concluded "it's not me who needs to take him back"