Chapter Thirty-Eight
A.N.: This is the end. I really enjoyed writing this story, I hope you did too. Million thanks for Luna967, mac-reye, JulietLovesStories and everyone else who reviewed, followed or just read my story.
"The coffin has arrived." – a servant announced respectfully and disappeared behind the door.
Helena was against the idea of burying an empty coffin until the last minute, but the Army and the Secret Service didn't find Prince Robert's body and they were running out of time. The public pressure was too much. The people needed a closure and who was the Queen to deny it from them?
The King and the Queen sat in silence opposite the British flag-draped coffin. Helena finally gathered her strength to stand up and walked over to it. Her husband followed her with his gaze, then he stepped behind her. She leaned against his chest and let him put his arms around her. She was finally able to surrender herself to the grief and she felt the tears running down her face. It lasted only for a few seconds until a footman came in and disrupted the intimate moment.
The Queen pulled away from her husband and quickly wiped off her tears.
"Helena, don't go. When a mother loses her first-born son, I believe she's allowed to grieve." – she heard the King's voice behind her.
"Not when she's the Queen." – Helena replied without hesitation.
As she was walking out of the throne room, her heels clicking on the marble floor, she felt her husband just as much of a stranger than at the beginning of their life together.
- 25 years ago -
Helena was sitting on her bed, preparing herself to the meeting with the Prince of Wales. Her father's knock on the door dragged her out of her thoughts.
"Come on, Nellie. Prince Simon is here, don't let him wait for you." – he said as he entered the room. – "What is that?"
Helena just realized that she was still clutching the little white pebble that Alistair gave her as an engagement ring.
"Nothing." – she replied quickly and put it on her nightstand.
Her father picked it up and turned it toward the light.
"I hope it brings us luck." – he said cheerfully.
"Dad! How many times did I tell you not to touch my stuff? – Helena screamed and snatched the pebble out of his hand.
"All right, all right." – her father said laughingly, then he added with a sad sigh. – "I wish you could stay and tell me that every day."
Sir Christopher took a look around his daughter's room which was a typical girl's room, with pink wallpaper and full of horse posters. Even the possibility of marriage seemed so unreal at that moment.
Helena followed his gaze and remarked softly:
"Then don't make me do this."
Her father shook his head as he said to her:
"I have no other choice. You are saving the farm… our farm, Nellie. Never forget that. Besides, you know your mother. Even if I found a way out without your help…"
"…she would never let the Prince of Wales off her hook now that he is a bachelor again." – Helena finished his thoughts.
She let out a resigned sigh. She looked herself in the mirror one last time and she ran downstairs.
Her long white dress with pink roses floated around her as she entered the room and Prince Simon gently kissed her hand.
"Shall we go to the garden?" – Helena asked the Prince with a polite smile. – "If I recall correctly, you have only been in our ballroom so far and it is not much to see there."
Helena saw that her mother was furious and she looked helplessly at her husband. Sir Christoper, for once, took his wife's side.
"Don't take the Prince outside, Nellie. Everything is covered in mud because of the morning rain." – he said softly to his daughter.
"Silly girl… what did you think?" – Lady Alexandra mumbled angrily, then she turned to Prince Simon: – "Please, let me show the way to the parlour, Your Highness."
Simon looked at her hesitantly, then he turned to Helena, who retreated into a corner, scratching the wall with her fingernail.
"Actually, I would love to see the farm if Lady Helena could kindly show me around." – he finally said.
Helena couldn't hold back a genuine smile when she saw the expression on her mother's face who had no choice but to obey the royal order.
"So… you don't like my mother." – Helena remarked, visibly relieved once they were outside, alone.
"I am here to see you, not her." – Prince Simon answered shortly and gave her a knowing wink.
Sir Christopher was right. The ground was really muddy and Helena's high heels sank deeper into the mud with each step. Without realizing what she was doing, she instinctively pulled off her shoes and carried them in her hands. However, the Prince's shocked expression told her that she had made a mistake.
"I'm sorry. You must think that I'm some kind of a gypsy." – Helena stammered in shame.
"Not at all. Should I take mine off as well?" – Simon asked with an amused smile.
Helena returned the smile and said:
"It depends… do you worry more about getting your shoes or getting your feet dirty?"
The Prince nodded slowly as if he carefully contemplated the answer:
"It sounds very reasonable. In that case, I choose to keep the shoes on."
They silently walked across the grass and headed straight to a hedge maze which was a present from Helena's father for her tenth birthday. The young girl led the way with confident steps between the hedge walls and the Prince quietly followed her.
A prancing horse statue in the middle of the labyrinth caught Simon's eyes. Helena didn't have to think much to know what was going through his mind and she felt awful.
"I'm sorry for your loss. I feel terrible that her accident happened on our estate." – she remarked quietly.
"Did you know her…" – started Simon, then he forced himself to say her name. – "…Did you know Dominique well?"
Helena shook her head.
"I met her a few times, she seemed… I would rather say honest, than kind, but she was always nice to me."
"You are right, she was honest. Sometimes probably too honest." – agreed the Prince. – "It's not a good quality for a princess or a queen… at least that's what my mother says. Maybe it's true. Maybe the people wouldn't have loved her as much as I did. The people would like a princess who is kind. You are kind."
"Thank you." – Helena replied in an uncertain voice.
Simon continued.
"And patient because you generously tolerate my long monologues. I believe that the people would like you as their princess and one day as their queen. Assuming that you want this too… Do you want this?"
Helena felt that they came to the part of the conversation when she should select her words carefully.
"I might be young, but I know a thing or two about life." – she began with mock confidence. – "I know how people feel right now because I can feel it too. A sense of hopelessness… that there is no way out of the woods. A royal wedding will definitely change that, it will boost the public's moral. That's why it is so important… but you know that. I just want to help the people."
Prince Simon didn't like the young girl's emotionless, calculating tone so he felt he had to ask:
"Why?"
Helena looked at him in surprise because no one has ever questioned her willingness to help.
"Why? Look over there." – she stood on a bench to see above the hedge walls and motioned to the Prince to follow her. – "How many cows do you count?"
Simon could detect a hint of resentment in her voice so he decided to play along.
"Six." – he replied hesitantly.
Helena nodded and said:
"Two years ago, we had sixty."
"The BSE crisis." – the Prince mumbled.
"Yes. It's one thing to read about it in the papers and another thing is to experience it." – Helena remarked sharply. – "Our whole living depended on those animals… so many people's living. After we had lost them, we had to fire half of our staff, because with no livestock, we don't need any men to take care of them."
Prince Simon expected to hear a longer explanation, but apparently Helena thought that she had said enough. They were quiet for a while, then Simon broke the silence:
"I can see that you care a lot about this farm."
"This is my home." – Helena replied matter-of-factly. – "I'm sure you feel the same way about yours."
The Prince couldn't hold back a surprised laughter.
"The Palace? No. It's not a real home. Not like this." – he remarked sadly. – "Once I get married, I will move into the Clarence House or the Kensington Palace. Maybe it will be different…"
Helena looked at him with sympathy and she said absently:
"A woman can make any house a home. My mother is always telling that."
"Well, she made this one a home." – Prince Simon replied with a bitter smile.
Helena let out a scornful chuckle:
"Oh, I don't think it was her."
The conversation stalled as neither of them knew what to say next. Helena leaned against the hedge wall and started kicking gravel, out of boredom. The Prince of Wales stared at her ankles that were sticking out under her dress, then he began to study her face.
"Are you in love with me?" – he finally asked after a long pause.
Helena looked at him in astonishment and for a moment she lost control over her swirling emotions.
"How dare you? I barely know you." – she cried. – "Besides, it would be cruel to expect me to love you when you are still in love with another."
"Fair enough." – replied Prince Simon, who wasn't used to that kind of talking. – "What about you? Do you love someone else?"
Helena looked over the hedge desperately in the direction of the stables where the lights were still on. Alistair was waiting for her. Simon followed her gaze. A part of her wanted to tell him the truth, the whole truth to sabotage this marriage, but deep inside she knew that whatever happened now, her mother would have never allowed her to be with her true love anyway.
"Yes." – she answered because she had already failed at hiding her feelings. However, she also knew that she had to lie if she wanted to correct her mistake. – "But it doesn't matter. We can never be together."
"I'm sorry." – said the Prince honestly.
"Don't be." – answered Helena with feigned easiness. – "I'm young, I'll get over it. But you didn't come here for this. You want to know if I could love you."
Simon didn't confirm, but he didn't deny either what she said.
"I think that I could learn to love you…" – she continued – "… and I believe that you could learn to love me as well. Just don't hold on to your pain at all costs."
Prince Simon was speechless, he had to process what he just heard. He was stunned by the young girl's wisdom, but that cold, rationalized way she looked to the future, frightened him. Even so, he made his decision.
"I would be honoured if you took me as your husband." – he said quietly and brokenhearted.
Helena looked at him in shock.
"What about the other girls? Don't you have to meet them as well?"
The young Prince shook his head and took a huge diamond ring out of his pocket.
"I choose you." – he replied softly and he slipped the ring on her shaking finger.
