My deepest and sincerest apologies to all my reader. I hate unfinished stories and I hate writers who leave you hanging for weeks, even months, I never wanted to be that way but events in my life in recent weeks and months have lead me to have to drop something's to allow more time to myself and my resting, writing fan fiction I am afraid got once again put on the backburner, and sadly this time for far longer than I had intended and I found it hard once left to pick up again. Please do accept my deepest apologies that I haven't updated this story in over two months… Please enjoy the next instalment…. Thank you for you kind understanding.

Betrayal and Turkey

By Hopping Hamster

Chapter 35.

Chakotay felt himself staring; he was just waking up, the dawn of the new day creeping through his window. It was barley morning and yet something woke him. His neck felt cramped as he stretched across his bed only realise he had spent the night curled up on his tiny sofa, his mother's prayer blanket over him. As he slowly ran his hand over his hair he tried desperately to remember the night before. He was getting too old for this, he was just deciding when he sighed remembering why he was spending the night on his sofa, his beautiful Kathryn was curled up fast asleep in his bed, where she belonged, only he wasn't with her. Maybe one day old man he told himself as he smiled at the memory of the night before. Her sensual kisses, her desire to talk with him, he effort in making him dinner. He was just remembering the look of pure desire her blue eyes had spent the evening flashing at him when the sound of somebody retching and being sick filled his ears. Sitting bolt upright on the sofa he gasped "Kathryn!" but she didn't respond, the sound of somebody being sick continued to come from his bathroom "what the?..." he gasped forcing his stiff cramped body to stand and almost hurry towards his bathroom as he called out "Kathryn"

"I'm ok" Kathryn's voice called through the door between coughs and spluttering distinctly followed by heavy breathing.

Chakotay slowly pushed open the door to see her knelt with her head almost into his toilet basin and her hair matted and coated in perspiration "no you're not" he informed her simply as he knelt beside her trying to wipe away the stray strands of hair that were stuck to her face "It's the middle of the night and your throwing up into my toilet" he informed her softly in his usual calm, gentle and supportive tone.

She snorted at him in embarrassment and tried to turn her face away from his as she scoffed sarcastically "So romantic"

"Kathryn" he whispered as she gently ran his large copper hand along her back in support "let me help"

As he reached up to cup her pale face in his gentle copper brown hand she smacked his hand away as she shoot her eyes tight letting the tears roll down her face "Just please go away" she almost gasped at him in shame and horror as she tried to turn from him without another wave of nausea coming over her.

Looking down at the broken trembling form and he calmly leaned back a little and shook his head saying lovingly and calmly "no"

Kathryn's sapphire eyes shot open and her head snapped to face him, he breathing raw, her face flushed and tear stained her eyes sparkling with a look of terror as she gasped "chako-" but never got to finish his name as she once more reached violently into the toilet, vomit spilling from her, Chakotay didn't waist a second but be at her side holding her almost upright. He wouldn't let her go even as she pushed against him "please" she gasped a tearful beg escaping her lips.

In love and compassion Chakotay wrapped his arms around her drawing her closer to him and stroking her back he whispered "Come here" for the briefest of moments Kathryn allowed herself to fall into his embrace.

Then almost as though something snapped in her she pushed off him and tried to get away yelling loudly through her rugged breathing "Get off"

"No" was all he replied, as calmly and as lovingly as the first time he had said it.

"Please" she whimpered hiding her face in his shoulder as she half clung onto his shirt and half wanted him to let go of her because of the shame she felt.

Looking down at her trembling body he ran a soft hand through her hair and asked calmly without a hint of accusation in his voice as he asked "your ashamed?" his heart broke to know she couldn't even bring herself to look at him, he loved her, all of her, couldn't he see that now?

Slowly she let go of his shirt and fell back against the bathroom wall, her hair still covering her face as she shuddered and muttered "please leave me alone"

Grasping her shoulders in his large hands he forced her to look at him as he hissed "after all this time your ashamed" she let her eyes slide shut as he whispered lovingly "after last night" the memory of the intimate and loving kiss they shared filling both their minds.

"Please" she gasped desperately trying to stand and get away from him, how could she tell him? How would he ever love her?

Standing with her Chakotay kept a loving and constant hand around her still trembling body "come on Kathryn" he whispered letting his hand run softly up and down her back in gentle support "shush…" he whispered lovingly never taking his eyes off her face "It's ok" she still held her face down cast and away from him causing his heart to break as he insisted softly "I don't think badly of you for this" when she merely turned even further from him he told her lovingly "I'm concerned"

"It's ok" she muttered in a soft and broken voice, Chakotay could barely hear her and that alone told him that she was far from ok.

Tightening his embrace around her he asked softly "does this happen a lot?" at his question her head shot up and her eyes met his bright and wide in question. Kissing her forehead he told her lovingly with evident concern "this is the second time in just a few days I have seen you do this" realising his meaning her head sunk back down as another fresh wave of embarrassment overcame her.

"It's just part of it" she shrugged trying hard to sound like she didn't care when they both knew she was fighting back tears "I'll fully recover one day." Was all she could insist.

Chakotay sighed and said nothing as he loosened his embrace on her and let her pull away slightly. He didn't back off hoping she wouldn't see his backing off as some kind of rejection. As he watched her she began to rub at the tender muscles in the neck as she screwed up her face in an effort to disguise the obvious pain and discomfort she was in. Taking her hand in his he looked into her eyes and asked seriously "Is your neck hurting?"

Bending her head awkwardly from side to side she groaned as she admitted "it does that from time to time" as Chakotay reached out he ran his fingertips softly over the jaw line and along her neck forcing Kathryn to stop what she was doing and look up at him.

With a warm smile into her eyes he took her hand and stood from the crouching position he had held beside her next to his toilet and helped her to stand saying gently "Come here"

As he began to lead her by the hand from the bathroom she sighed and pulled back insisting "Chakotay I should go" she tried to pull her hand from his firm and yet gentle grip but he wouldn't let her go.

Stopping in his stride he turned to face her and told her simply "It's the middle of the night." When she made no effort to reply or come up with an excuse he flashed his warm dimpled smile at her and whispered "now come over here" with that he continued to walk once again to his sitting room area. As soon as he saw a look of confusion and hesitation in her face he reassured her by saying "I'll get you a glass of water and give you one of my famous massages"

Realizing where this was going Kathryn once again tried to pull back sighing saying in her husky voice "Chakotay…" but he wasn't letting her pull away. Moving to his replicator he ordered a cool glass of water and turned to hand it to her with a smile.

As Kathryn awkwardly took the glass from him and went to drink he gave her a reassuring smile and told her "drink it slowly and not all at once" before he guided her to sit beside him on the sofa and asked "what time is your transport in the morning?" as he asked he let his hand need their way in the tense muscles of her shoulders.

Slowly Kathryn lowered the glass of water from her lips and placed it on the table before her before whispering softly "Chakotay…." When he didn't stop what he was doing or respond in any way she insisted "really I am fine" with that she stood with her back still too him as she let her hand gentle massage into the now extremely tense muscles in her neck.

She hung her head as he sighed and stood behind her wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her back tighter to his chest before kissing the top of her auburn head and asking softly "Kathryn please, are you going to be well enough to travel back to earth?" a few sudden tears escaped her as she shuddered but still did not respond to his question, he too knew he was stood there allowing tears to fall freely down his face. Giving her abdomen a gentle reassuring stroke he whispered lovingly in her ear "Kathryn, I care"

Though he was unsure shy she was so tearful at his question he gave her the space needed to answer as he lovingly held her until she shuddered once again, let out a soft cry and told him "I'm not going back to earth" after saying that she couldn't bring herself to look at him as he stood behind her, still with his arms around her looking down at her lowered auburn head.

For Chakotay his world stopped for a second, his heart beating fast as he tried to take in what she just said before saying deeply in question "you're not?" trying hard to keep the shock and desperate longing out of his voice.

Kathryn slowly turned to face him as he loosened his grip and she raised her head and looked up into his deep loving eyes. She was shocked to see love and compassion there. With a slight crooked smile she whispered "not yet any way" she stared into his eyes waiting for him to respond, unsure what that response would be.

Chakotay was surprised and responded out of that surprise saying "but I thought…" then shaking his head at her he questioned "last night…." Again his voice trailed off, he couldn't bring himself to ask her, to say it aloud in case it ruined the moment. Looking deep into her eyes he stood still as he waited for her answer to the question he knew she would understand.

Looking deep into the love he held in his eyes she reached up and cupped his face with her hand saying "I have arranged to stay with Sekey longer" taking in a large intake of breath he held her gaze as she asked more seriously "are you saying you only kissed me because you thought it was a final goodbye" she was worried now what his response would be.

Looking down at her he let his eyes fill with moisture as he drew her into a hug and whispered "never" letting his hand run down her long hair he held her close to him and whispered "I could never say a final goodbye to you Kathryn Janeway" then when the silence filled the room long enough for her to realise he was crying he asked softly "when did you decide that?" then drawing her from him he held her by the shoulders and clarified "to stay I mean"

Looking up at him with her crooked smile she reached up to cup his face in her tiny delicate pale hand and told him in her rich deep voice "the other day" then with her thumb she wiped the falling tears from his cheeks she met his eyes and told him "I like it here, roughing it for a while"

With a snort at the memory of new earth he reached down and grabbed her withdrawing hand and asked "with or without a bath tub?"

With a smirk and a twinkle in her bright blue eyes she placed her hand softly on his chest and patted him saying "there is always room for improvement"

With his own grin he let his dimples flash as he smiled and said "of course"

As the smile fell from her face she let her hand on his chest tighten on his shirt as she asked seriously "are you with me?" the begging and longing evident in her sapphire eyes.

Cupping her face gently in his hands he leaned into her until his lips were centimetres from hers and he whispered "always" as she looked deeply into his eyes he once more softly and deeply claimed her lips as his own, his tongue demanding entrance.

As they parted she reached up and met his eyes as he fingertips ran softly along the deep lines of his tattoo, with a soft smile she sunk into his chest and told him "I missed you" then wrapping her arms tighter around him she sighed and admitted "and I hated being angry with you"

Wrapping his arms lovingly around her tiny frame he held her to him and kissed the top of her head and told her "I never liked being angry with you"

Tightening her grip around him and sinking into his chest she let her eyes slide shut as she asked with anticipation "can we leave that behind us?" then looking up with her eyes so bright she asked "can we make it work?"

Cupping her face and kissing her forehead before gently running the over hand up and down her back Chakotay reassured her "I wouldn't have it any other way" with a gentle smile Kathryn nodded as she met his eyes. It was just at that moment his hand found on her lower back something he did not know was there, a crude brace or medical equipment of some kind and his heart stopped a beat as he realised the pain and difficulties of her injuries six years ago were not at all over "how was it Kathryn?" he asked softly reassuring her with a dimpled smile "the surgery" as she tried to pull away from him he took her hand and insisted lovingly "tell me about these side effects" turning from him he took her chin in his hand and brought her face to look at him, her deep blue eyes full of tears as he asked "How often do you have these fits of nausea"

"Not often" she lied.

"But?" Chakotay pressed sensing there was more than she was letting on.

Patting his chest with her soft delicate hand she smiled and reminded him "you always did hate not knowing if I was ok"

"Do you blame me?" he spat back slightly hurt by her seemingly uncaring attitude.

Her head shot up to meet his eyes and she insisted firmly and stubbornly "I am ok"

"But?" Chakotay pressed again as he refused to let her struggling hand go from his grip.

With a heavy sight Kathryn turned her back on him and spat "I can walk, is that not enough?"

Chakotay knew she was hurt and bitter so he let her go before saying deeply "yes" then placing his soft hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze he said again just as deeply and steadily "yes you can"

"But…." She gave in slowly.

"I knew there was a but" Chakotay smiled trying to reassure her.

"it comes at a price Chakotay" she told him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she found herself unable to turn to look at the man she loved with all her heart.