Allen had always hated attending social gatherings. The banquets, the dancing—he hated them all with a passion. He loathed people at the best of times. But being in the public eye whilst under disgrace made it even less enjoyable. The whole experience in Nottingham had not displayed Allen well in the eyes of social graces. Not that he overly cared. Pleasing others had never been high on his list of priorities. But he was hardly proud of his cowardice and did not revel in the fact that it was instantly widespread.
Overall, he had been pleased to escape Nottingham without broken bones and obvious bleeding. Many threats had been thrown about. Horrible words were spoken. But the whole situation put everyone in a bad light. The Lord of Barnsdale may have showed cowardice, trickery and betrayal (in the words of the Sheriff) but the Sheriff had been deluded by it, making him appear foolish. And that was truly unforgivable in his eyes. So they had all parted ways in an uneasy truce, with the understanding that this would never be spoken of again. Needless to say, no kind words of farewell were spoken.
Allen knew that he was in for a world of abuse. This had already come to pass from the Sheriff and he expected it from his Father. What he had not expected was the way his best friend turned on him also. He had gone to Robert to seek solitude amongst the madness. But Robert had scorned him, barely speaking to him. Barely so much as looking at him, in fact. And this was the part that Allen could not stand. Though he would never admit it, he needed Robert. His companionship helped through day to day life. Suddenly he was alone. Leon visited often but it was not the same.
Most of all, Allen wanted answers to why there was silence in the first place. He had apologised until he could recite the same speech in his sleep but it did no good. Deep down, Allen hardly believed there was much reason to be sorry. He had not known that Robert would take his place! It was an outrageous plan to begin with. And he would never have let them hurt his friend. And the Sheriff had tried his best to order punishment! Allen had accepted claims against himself but did not stand for anything to be said about Robert. He liked to believe that the Sheriff respected him for these moments of bravery when he would stand up for Robert. But deep down, he knew that the Sheriff probably had very little nice things to say about him and he could live with that. What he couldn't live with was the silence.
So initially, Allen had looked forward to the ball in Cumberland, just for the purpose of getting him away from that damned manor. But no secret can ever be kept amongst nobility. He should have known that the story would be common knowledge. Because of this, he could feel everyone's eyes upon him the moment he stepped in the banquet hall. And then the whispers began, following him wherever he went.
He clutched two goblets of wine from a nearby serving tray, glaring at anyone brave enough to gaze openly at him. Leon ducked in beside him, snatching away one of the goblets. "Thanks."
"Thank yourself. They were both for me," Allen moaned, attempting to grab it back.
"Oh, come on," Leon snorted, "it's not that bad. In a matter of hours someone will do something so much more shocking then you could ever do. Especially if they drink at half the rate you are going with."
"So what do you propose I do?" Allen asked, his words slurring a little.
Leon had always eased into social occasions without batting an eyelid. "Drink, dance and be merry!" he replied, grandly.
Allen just groaned and watched as her friend was pulled away by a group of fellow Lords. Leaving him alone. Naturally.
The one thing Allen knew about Norman life was, if one faced a problem, one should pretend that it doesn't exist. So he smiled. And he mingled. At least he tried to. People still openly judged him. But that was what was considered entertainment for such people.
Brushing things off proved to be tiresome work as the night dragged on. Eventually, Allen thought to follow Leon's advice literally and dance. The trick to supplying a willing dance partner was to seek out a damsel and save her from a worse fate. A target was acquired when he spotted two young women. The older was far less beautiful and even from a distance, Allen could note her dreary disposition. The younger woman seemed to be putting all possible effort into stopping a yawn.
"My Lady, would you be so kind as to indulge me in a dance?" Allen was a tad put out at how much consideration went into her decision. Surely, he was the lesser of two evils. Eventually he won out as she begrudgingly held out her hand. Allen tried not to sneer as he took it.
He noticed Leon running about like a mad man, trying to get his attention. It was awfully distracting. Dancing had never been Allen's strong point and he had to focus on the steps. But Leon was desperately trying to mime something.
"Your friend is rather enthusiastic," she said.
The look on Leon's face informed Allen that trouble was afoot. And despite his crazed antics, all eyes were on the pair dancing.
This do not go unnoticed by either of them. "What did you say your name was?" she asked.
He was surprised that she did not know him. "Allen of Barnsdale."
Suddenly she stopped dancing, jerking her hands away. Finally, he understood. "Lady Marian."
He could feel eyes upon him. The music seemed to slow and be filled with errors as even the musicians were distracted. "What do we do?" he muttered with a big false smile.
She raised her hand back to his. "We dance," she hissed. "We smiled and we continue."
He did so, nervously. And he was surprised at how everyone began to go about their business. When the music stopped he felt wonderfully ordinary once more. That was the first instance in which he was bestowed with one of Marian's anger smiles as he would later call them. This was the action in which she would maintain a perfectly kind smile but mutter something in a tone that made a grown man tremble. "Meet me on the balcony."
There was a long list of things he would rather do. Be struck in the face, for one. Or run through hot embers. But he feared her far too much to ignore a direct order.
"I tried to warn you!" Leon said, sheepishly falling into step with him.
"Warning me beforehand would have been preferable!" he hissed. "Did you know she was here?"
"Of course not! I would have said!"
Allen rubbed his forehead in frustration. "This is great. And now she wants me to meet her outside."
Leon gulped. "So what are you going to do."
"Exactly what she says."
"Are you mad? What is she causes a scene?"
"And embarrasses me further? Have you not seen how people are already treating me?"
Even as he spoke, Allen was taking small steps towards following her which did not go unnoticed by Leon. "You're a little bit afraid of her, aren't you?"
"No!" Allen said definitely, praying that the tremble in his voice was not too apparent. "But on an unrelated note, I had better hurry up. It would be rude to keep her waiting."
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Marian shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. The winter months were ending but it certainly did not feel that way. Her breath came forth in short white clouds as she thought that this was still preferable to being back in the warmth of the hall with all of the cold glares. She was done with the whispers and the stifled laughter. But the worst was the pitying glances.
The minutes dragged on and she knew that she shouldn't be surprised. Lord Allen was hardly known for his punctuality. She began to wonder if he would send an imposter out to meet her and laughed at her own joke.
Finally she was rewarded as Lord Allen sheepishly joined her. He was joined by another man that she did know or care about. "Lord Allen," she said, as a way of greeting. "I'm sorry that we are to meet under these circumstances. But I fear that this is almost entirely your own doing."
Allen looked to Leon, hoping for support. But his 'brave' friend had slunk back to the doorframe, ready to run if need be. "I'm sorry?" he finally said, but the apology came out more in the form of a question as he wondered if she would accept it.
Clearly, she would not. "For what? The shame? The humiliation?"
"Technically shame and humiliation are the same thing," Allen muttered under his breath. This was not a wise choice of words.
Leon was rather amused, snorted in the background. This only turned her anger toward him. "And you must be?"
"Oh don't mind me," he said, trying desperately to slink back. "I'm the other friend."
"Oh yes," she said darkly. "The friend."
Allen found her face oddly unreadable after that. But as long as she was not angry, things were faring well in his favour.
"How is, the friend?" she asked, seemingly uncaringly.
Allen shrugged. "All right, I guess. In a right mood but that's fine. He can that way if he likes."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Robert? Why do you care? You guardian almost had him whipped for something that had nothing to do with him! You see how you fare after such an occasion. But other than that, I have no clue what's on his mind. As I say, he's been in a right mood."
She folded her arms. "Probably that girl of his."
Allen's ears perked up at that. "Girl? Kindly do tell."
She looked away. "The one he is in love with."
Leon had selected the wrong moment to take a drink from his goblet. He proceeded to spit it all out. "Love? What?"
Marian sighed. "He told me about a girl he was in love with. But he could never be with her. Because of their different classes. He lied about a lot of things but that seemed genuine. Or maybe it wasn't. Damned if I know."
Allen was trying his best to remain calm but internally, he was furious. How dare his best friend have a secret love and not tell him! Although it could explain his recent behavior.
"Interesting," Leon said, his voice trailing away.
"Interesting?" Allen sputtered. "Not exactly the word I would use. "Well he must have told you more! Any other clues would be greatly appreciated."
She just shrugged. "He did mention marrying a whore at one point."
Allen had to steady himself against the balcony railing.
"Seriously?" Leon said, looking at the pair of them as if they were the worlds biggest fools. "You two surely cannot be this daft."
They both stood still, aside from the occasional blink of confusion.
Leon groaned. "Robert has never mentioned a girl before. And we are always with him, Allen. One of us would have noticed."
"So you're saying…?" Allen looked to Marian, wondering if this was making any more sense to her than himself. She looked just as bewildered.
Leon gave the biggest sigh of exasperation. "Right. Shall I go and enjoy the ball, have a good nights sleep and finish up odd jobs and by the time I come back, you genius' might have worked it all out."
Allen responded by scratching his head. Marian twiddled her thumbs
"Oh for goodness sake," Leon muttered, realising that he was going to have explain this fully. "He was talking about her!" he said, gesturing toward Marian.
Allen's mouth formed a small 'o' shape and he stayed frozen like that for a while. Marian turned, looking out over the balcony.
Allen eventually regained movement, groaning loudly. "I am so sorry," he said to Marian. "Clearly Robert has lost his head a little. But you needn't worry. You don't even need to worry about letting him down gently because you are never go to see him again and-"
"Allen!" Leon said, with a little too much force.
"What?" Allen cried, mimicking the dramatic force.
Leon simply gestured to Marian and Allen noticed the look on her face. He saw a vulnerability in her eyes that he had never seen before. A heart wrenching mixture of hope and despair. "You feel the same…"
"Of course not," she said, with little conviction.
"You're lying."
Her sad gaze was fixed upon him and he could feel his insides turning. He knew it was a feeling of determination. Right then, he resolved that it was his new mission to help. "Right, we are going to do something about this."
"We are?" she said in surprise.
"We are?" Leon said, sounding unimpressed.
"Have you ever considering visiting Barnsdale?"
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Robert had done well in his mission of avoiding Allen. He told himself that it was because of Allen's cowardice. Why else would he be so resentful? He wanted nothing more to move on from the event of Nottingham. To forget the days that passed. But he continued to think of her, despite how hard he tried not to. He could be participating in any every day to day task when suddenly she was back in his mind. And each time this happened, he knew. He was not angry at Allen. He was jealous. Jealous about the life Allen could lead. The same could be said for Leon or any Lord that they encountered. If he really wanted to, Allen could have Marian. He could be a knight too. Everything Robin had dared to want in life would be an ease to his friend. So no, he could not bear to be around him. And he felt the smallest twinge of regret at how hurt Allen obviously was. But that twinge was quickly silenced with the rage of jealousy that loudly drowned out all else.
Allen returned from his trip to Cumberland seemingly rejuvenated. It irked Robin how, despite having a whole estate to run about and still he managed to find himself wherever Robert was stationed. He was beginning to think that the act was intentional. And of course, it was not as if Robert could simply dismiss himself. He was a servant. No choices and no freedom. All he could do was pointedly look anywhere but at his master.
And still, Allen did not leave. "Aren't you going to ask me how the ball went?" he asked, after a long silence.
Robert tried not to glare. "I'm busy." He clearly wasn't. He was on duty, guarding the grounds. But Barnsdale rarely faced and real problems. So he was basically standing, watching a wall. But even that was preferable.
"So you want to know nothing? Absolutely nothing."
"Apparently so."
"Last chance to ask."
"Allen!" Robert cried.
Allen simply smirked, remembering a conversation he had had with Leon on the previous day. Leon had defended their friend, stating that Allen really ought to explain the plan to him. But Allen was still sore about Robert's recent treatment of him and over the fact that he had not once mentioned his true feelings toward Marian. So instead, he simply said, "Oh and by the way, you will need to reassigned tomorrow. We are receiving important visitors from Nottingham. You remember Marian, don't you?"
Despite the fact that he was standing still, Robert managed to stumble.
Allen smuggled his laughter. "Well, I met her at the ball, see? And we got along so well that we decided to continue our meeting." And with that, he turned on his heel.
"Wait, Allen!" Robert called after him.
"I thought you didn't want to hear about the ball!" Allen replied smugly.
Yes, it was cruel, but Allen enjoyed it all the more knowing this.
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Robert awoke long before the morning bell. His eyes snapped open without prompting as he instantly knew what day it was. Marian was due for her visit to Barnsdale. And Robert wished that he could be anywhere else. But at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to see her again. The conflicting thoughts kept his tossing and turning as sleep eluded him and he watched the shadows creep away. The early morning sun illuminated the harsh reality of his shared quarters. John Linnley, his fellow guard, slept on the bed opposite him, dark hair spread out over the pillow.
For some reason, Robert passed the time by wondering what Allen was doing at the exact same time. He thought back to Allen's lavish quarters. He would be asleep in the extreme comfort of his feathered down bed, ladened down with heavy blankets, lined with velvet. In his own room, there was little space for anything other than the two beds and a small walkway between them. They each had a chest at the end of their bed for personal items and that was it. That was all he owned in the world. His chest was practically empty. The one thing he favored was his cloak that Allen had given to him and he had unknowingly left that behind in Nottingham, on Marian. But if he were to lose it, he at least found comfort in the fact that Marian held something of his. But who was he kidding? She had probably burnt it.
This only one of the questions that continued to race through his head. But mostly, he wondered if he would see her. And more importantly; would she want to see him? Or would she still be angry? The questions were hardly the worst part. The worst thing was when he began to answer his own questions with his fears. No, she would not want to see him. She was here to see Allen, a much more appropriate suitor.
The fears only grew from there. Before long he was picturing them falling in love. He could see himself standing by as Allen courted her. And then he would stand there at the wedding. And stand guarding the halls as their children ran past—
Robert leapt out of bed, shaking the thoughts away as he found himself extremely furious. His hands were tight in rigid fists and he tried to slow his breathing. He could not continue on like this. Allen was his friend. And Marian was… Well, she was impossible.
Finally the morning bell broke him from his own disastrous thoughts and for once he welcomed it.
Linn did not react in the same way. In typical fashion, he groaned, refusing to move. "Morning already?" he mumbled, still deep in the holds of sleep.
Robert chose not to answer, listening instead to the general murmurings and rustling of servants in the surrounding rooms.
Linn finally noticed something seemed off with his friend. "You alright, Rob?"
Barely able to work up a lie, Robert just grunted, continuing to dress in silence. It was far too early in the day for Linn to think too deeply into anything so he accepted this response. "Don't forget," he said, rubbing his eyes vigorously, "those guests from Nottingham are arriving this morning. We have to report to the courtyard."
Robert paused while pulling on his boots. "I can't wait."
As much as he dreaded it, it was not long before he was waiting in formation with the others in the courtyard, a place that he used to favor. This was, after all, the place he liked to think of as where his life had been saved. These cobbled stones marked the spot he had first met and fought Allen, securing him on his new path. But standing there, waiting for Marian almost made him wish that the path had been blocked.
One small blessing was that Allen seemed far too busy to speak to him. Seeing this as a chance of redemption, Lord Steffon had placed far too much pressure on his household, on himself and most importantly on his son. Allen seemed ready to tear his hair out as his father chirped away in his ear.
What also did not help was the way that time was ticking on. "They're late," Steffon said for could only be the twentieth time. And for what could only be the twentieth time, Robert prayed that she would not come. Allen was the only calm one, shrugging off his Father with him insistence that she was on her way.
And despite Robert's insistant praying, the portcullis was raised. Two guards rode in front of a carriage and Linn stepped forward to open the door.
And there she was. Robert found that his memory of her did not do her justice. She was even more beautiful than he dared to imagine. She seemed radiant in the early morning sun. Her golden hair was swept back, making her seem refined. But there were still many stray curls that bounced free. Even her hair was stubborn.
Allen stepped forward to greet her, taking her hand in his and kissing it. "Good day, Lady Marian. I trust you had a pleasant journey." Robert had to stop himself fuming.
"Plesant enough," she replied, smiling. There was something about the way they looked at each other that made Robert nervous. It was as if they shared a secret. Once more, his fists clenched. Steffon stepped forward too, greeting her in a far too elaborate show of welcome.
"So I was thinking, perhaps an early morning ride? I could show you our lands and the nearby forests."
"Yes, that sounds wonderful."
"Oh, well…" Steffon seemed torn with being an accommodating host and a responsible one. "I do recall that the last ride you took was…." His voice ebbed away as he realized his mistake. His plan had been to pretend as if this was their official first meeting and now, to bring up a ride that only one of them had actually attended was hardly following this plan. "All I mean is that—uh—perhaps you ought to take a guard."
Neither Marian or Allen acknowledged the uncomfortable situation. "Not a worry at all, Father," Allen said. "Robert!"
Robert shurnk in on himself, praying that if he stood still enough, he could simply disappear.
No such luck. "Robert? Would you be so kind?"
Looking to where Allen was gesturing, Marian's eyes fell upon him and the gaze was unbroken. "Robert," she said quietly, with understanding.
Robert simply nodded in acknowledgment, not trusting his voice.
Allen did not wait for a response, leading Marian away by the arm and ordering servants to prepare the horses. Like the Lord he was always meant to be.
Robert turned to prepare himself for the ride.
What choice did he have?
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For once, Robert found satisfaction in his position. For a servant was expected to be seen and not heard. So he rode as far behind as he dared from the happy couple. His stomach still turned with every accidental glance toward them. He had successfully dimmed their voices down to general murmurs with the occasional burst of laughter that felt as though it cut his insides. But this was a vast improvement to hearing the words spoken. But even from a distance it was clear that the two were getting along.
He hated it.
"Robert!" Allen called, breaking him free from his seething.
There was something in his friend's tone of voice that made Robert's head jerk up, scanning the forest for signs of danger. His eyes settled on a lone figure that waited up ahead on the forest path. He stood still, making no move. He was waiting for them.
"Wait here," he said, no longer caring about ordering nobility. If there was danger, he did not care that this was a Lord and Lady. And he did not care that this was his best friend and the woman he loved. He just knew that he was going to protect them blindly. His memory flashed back to Marian, trembling in a similar forest, fresh blood on her face. He looked to her now, something he had been avoiding all day. She looked to him without a trace of fear or anger. Spurred on, Robert rode ahead, feeling the warmth of his sword at his hip. He felt no fear, only the drive of protection.
But as he rode closer to the figure, he felt his horse slowing. Squinting, he allowed himself to slow. "Leon?"
His friend smirked at him, still looking rather bored. "Put that away, Old boy," he said, gesturing at Robert's sword, "before you hurt yourself."
Leon looked past him. "Are you two done being cruel now?"
Robert looked back to Allen who was snickering whilst he and Marian dismounted. "What's going on?"
Leon clapped him on the shoulder. "What's going on is that Allen is a horrible person."
Allen made a wounded sound. "Me? Never! I said that I wanted to go for a ride. But what I meant to say was that I wanted to go for a ride with Leon."
Groaning, Leon clarified, "For goodness sake. Someone has to say it. You two, meaning Robert and Marian, have some unresolved issues to discuss. So we, meaning Allen, Marian and myself orchestrated this little trip to help you."
Robert stood very still. "You knew…"
Looking very proud of himself, Allen nodded. "It didn't take a genius to work out." Leon scoffed loudly.
"You're welcome!" Allen said, still looking an infuriating mix of pleased and smug as he put a friendly hand on Robert's shoulder. Robert clasped his own hand on top, looking like a friendly gesture until he squeezed extremely hard on Allen's wrist, causing him to yelp in pain. "What was that for?" he cried, indignantly.
"Just thought I would reward your friendship!"
"You really want to be punishing me right now when I believe you have a few more slightly pressing issues?" With that, Allen pushed Robert around to face Marian. "Best of luck," he muttered in Robin's ear.
And with that he joined Leon as they strolled away, leaving Robert and Marian alone. And Robert had absolutely no inkling of what to say. "So uh—" But he completely lost his words with a mixture of nerves and being struck once more by how beautiful she was.
"You said that you were in love with someone," she said, looking unsure. "Back in Nottingham. You told me that you were in love with someone."
"It was you."
Both paused, not showing immediate reactions.
Finally Marian nodded. "Oh, right."
"Yes…" Robert mumbled, subduing a smile because he could see that she was doing the same thing.
Both moved at the same time. In a few quick steps they met.
It was as if they were once more in that garden, in that stolen moment where nothing else existed. That feeling of happiness felt completely surreal as he could hardly believe it. She was really here. And she wanted him. The kiss ended but they both remained close, the thought of pulling away too harsh.
With his eyes still closed, Robert heard quiet chuckles and victory calls. "You two had better disappear instantly or I swear—" The chuckling ceased and was replaced by sounds of movement and nature breaking underfoot as their footsteps died away.
"You'll learn to love those two," he said apologetically. "If you're stuck with me, you're stuck with them too."
"So, I'm stuck with you, am I?"
Robert instantly regretted the assuming nature of his words and fumbled about, stuttering to try and fix himself.
Gently, she cupped his cheek in her hand. "I don't mind being stuck."
Robert grinned. "It won't be easy."
"That's the fun part."
