"Now, ladies and gentlemen we have real treat for you. Well, actually these four lovely ladies have a real treat for you. Singing 'Party in The U.S.A'. Take it away ladies"
They all squeal and clap their hands in excitement as Hanna watches Erin jump on stage and whisper something in the DJ's ear before the music starts. One by one she watches as Jennifer and Alyssa jump on stage with Erin who is excitedly gesturing for them to hurry. The music begins to play and Hanna holds up one finger to let them know she will be up in second as they begin to sing.
"Hang on guys! I just got my drink!" Hanna calls out as she picks up her drink, taking a large gulp of liquid courage.
"I hopped off the plane at L.A.X. with a dream and my cardigan. Welcome to the land of fame excess – Hurry up girl!" Erin calls her out as Jennifer and Alyssa keep singing "Am I gonna fit in?"
Taking one last large gulp she rushes to the stage, sticking her hand out for Jennifer to give her a hand.
Maybe my Manolo's weren't a good idea to mix with alcohol…
"My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick. Too much pressure and I'm nervous, that's when the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on. And a Jay-Z song was on. And a Jay-Z song was on." she sings as she starts to feel herself relax.
"So I put my hands up they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away. I'm noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah" she throws her hands up along with the other girls as they sing the words and it is followed by uncontrollable laughter. They keep singing, but mostly laughing as they realize that they are really terrible at karaoke and no one really knows the words. Hanna laughs one time so hard, she throws her head back unable to contain herself, not caring that she may be making herself look like a fool on stage.
When they finish they look at each other, passing a look of embarrassed accomplishment between them. "Oh my god, you guys…that was so much fun!" Jennifer calls out as they exit the stage
"It was really was, but we are REALLY bad" Hanna says as they reach back to the table
"Oh but ladies, the night's festivities has just begun…you just wait." Erin says with a wink
"Let's give these beautiful ladies another hand. Also, if you are feeling friendly…I was informed that today is Hanna's birthday – Hanna if you could please join me back on stage…?" he asks.
OH MY GOD…
"You didn't!" Hanna says as she turns back to Erin with a look of shock on her face
"Free drinks on the house! Go on birthday girl! Get your fine ass up there!" she says excitedly as the other girls cheer.
Hanna gets back up from her bar stool and makes her way back on stage offering up a very nervous smile and wave and she walks back up to the DJ who gives her a quick hug. He lifts the microphone back to his lips "As I said, today is Hanna's birthday so if you have any extra cash – why don't you be generous enough and by Hanna and her friends here a drink. Happy Birthday Hanna." He says as he leans down and kisses her cheek. "Go to the bar and tell them to put a round on my tab." He says with a smile.
"Thank you." She whispers to the DJ offering him an awkward hug
She waves again and walks off stage. When she makes her way back to her table she points at Erin "You. Are. Evil." She says with a laugh "How embarrassing!"
"I. Am. A. Genius." She says back to her with a sly smile, "Plus, since when is Hanna Marin get embarrassed about anything?"
Good question…why am I being so weirdly awkward tonight?
She thinks as she rolls her eyes at her friend. Usually things like this didn't bother her as much as they did tonight. Ever since her outburst this morning, she hasn't felt like herself; she felt shy even. When she was getting ready, she pulled on her favorite red off the shoulder body con dress, she immediately wondered if it was an appropriate attire for the evening...and that NEVER happened. She usually never cared if she stood out, fashion is what she did, so it was no bother for her to make a statement.
Maybe it is because this is my first night out without Jordan..? Jordan!
She pulls` out her cellphone immediately and looks at her screen relieved that there wasn't any missed calls or texts from him. She really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now...or even think about him. When he had called earlier while she was getting ready, she used the excuse of 'I have to get a shower.' to get him off the phone, telling him she would call him back later. She had planned on it, she even picked up the phone to call but her mind had been way too jumbled with thoughts of Caleb all day, she didn't know if she could handle it. The words take a shower for insistence - as soon as they left her mouth she immediately shuffled back in time to when she jumped in the shower with him at her mom's house, when he was staying there and they were hiding it from her. It had been that type of day, where anything she saw or whatever song she heard took her back to a memory with Caleb.
"Aww, look at her…hopelessly in love with her sexy Australian." Alyssa calls out to the other girls as she lifts her glass "A toast to Hanna on what may be her last birthday as a single woman."
The rest of the girls raise their glasses and look at Hanna, whose glass still sits on the table. She sighs and puts her cellphone back down and lifts her glass. "Cheers." She says with a pretty fake smile as they say "Cheers" back and they clink their glasses and take their drinks.
Hanna wipes the corners of her mouth with her fingers as she swallows her drink "But can we please not make such a big thing about getting married? I mean it's really not that big of a deal, people get married all the time…"
"Okay, spill it girlfriend" Jennifer says pointedly as she sits her cup back down on the table "Did you guys have a fight or something? Because you have been very Anti-Jordan tonight."
Have I?
"No. We are fine I just don't see the point in making it a big deal right now." She says as she rolls her eyes.
The waitress walks up to the table with a tray that holds 4 shots "Okay ladies, I have 4 lemon drop shots for the birthday girl and her friends." she says as she sits them down on the table in front of the girls. Hanna looks at the waitress who just shrugs and says "The guy over there said they were from an old friend?" she says with a smile and walks off.
Old friend?
Hanna looks over her shoulder looking in the direction that the waitress motioned in and can see nothing. She turns back to her friends and shrugs as she picks up the glass and lifts it in the air. The other three girls follow suit and clink their glasses again as they down their shots.
"Let's do another one." Erin calls out over the loud music
"Shot? I don't think. I can't do another shot right now…mojito, yes. Shot…not a chance." Hanna shakes her head, already starting to feel the heat in her belly from the alcohol
"Mojito – yes. Shot – NO. BUT I was talking about a song. Let's do another song!" Erin calls out as she bounces around on her bar stool excitedly.
"Okay, you pick a song…Hanna and I will go on a drink run." Alyssa says with a smile as she grabs Hanna's hand as they start to walk off.
"I am good right now." Jennifer calls out holding up her glass that is still half full
"Yeah, me too…hurry back!" Erin calls out as she flips through the DJ's list of songs.
Hanna and Alyssa make their way through the crowd, towards crowded bar. Once they reach it, Hanna walks up and stands there for a few seconds before the bartender walks over to her.
"What can I get the birthday girl?" he says with a wink
"Two mojitos please." She says with a smile
"Coming right up." He says as he walks off
They stand there for a few minutes before Alyssa leans up to Hanna's ear and whispers "Hottie at 2 o'clock. Hurry and grab our drinks so I can accidentally bump into him." Hanna laughs over her shoulder at her friend as the bartender walks over to her with two cups in hand. Handing one over her shoulder to Alyssa who screams "Hurry! He's coming". Hanna turns back to the bartender as Alyssa grabs her hand pulling her from the bar.
"How much?" she calls
"On the house! Happy birthday!" he says with another wink.
Hanna laughs as she waves and tells him thank you just as Alyssa pulls her back into the crowd. She can hear her friend say "No problem handsome" and she can tell that it was a mission accomplished. She turns her head to face them. Stopping dead in her tracks as she stands face to face with Caleb. His dark brown eyes staring back into her wide blue ones. She gasps as their eyes lock and before she can catch it; she has dropped her drink from her hand, just barely registering it splashing all over her feet.
Caleb…?
Alyssa pulls her on through the crowd and it is as if everything is in slow motion. She turns her head and looks back over her shoulder at him. He stands completely still in the crowd, shocked to see her too. She blinks, he is still there.
Oh my god, he is really here. Not just in my mind…in New York…in this bar…and oh my god, he is…god he is so damn hot.
She keeps her eyes locked on him until she loses him in the crowd as Alyssa pulls her father and farther away from him to the front of the bar. Once they arrive back at their table, Alyssa smiles and tells the other girls how she ran into 'Mr. Tall Dark and Damn Fine' as she is referring to him. Hanna can hear them talking but it sounds like they are off in the distance, not standing right beside her. She looks back over her shoulder towards where she left him but he is no longer there.
"HANNA!" Alyssa calls, snapping her out of her daze and she turns to face her friend "Tell them how delicious that guy was. I am so going to find him after we rock this thing."
Hanna still stands in silence. In her mind she is trying to process what is happening around her.
The DJ booms through the speakers again as he stops the music, making Hanna jump as he begins to speak "Alright, the birthday girl and company has requested to sing another song...and who are we to deny the birthday girl, right? So ladies and gentlemen give it up once again for Hanna and friends."
"Guys, I can't do this right now." Hanna pleads as she looks at her friends
"What?! Hanna we said one more. Just guzzle your drink and get your ass on that stage. I picked us a good one...your favorite!." Erin says as she gives her a confused look "Where is your drink?"
Shit! My Manolo's!
"I uh, I dropped it as we were heading back to the table." she mumbles as she gestures down at her covered feet.
"Well, come on and we will get you another one after." Jennifer says as she grabs Hanna's hand and pulls her on stage.
She stands in the spotlights on the stage and scans the crowd for him, unable to find him. She can hear that the music has started but she hasn't registered the lyrics yet. She looks over at her friends that sing into their microphones "Shoo-oo-doo-oooh doo, yeah yeah."
She then notes that the music is to "Always Be my Baby" coming from the speakers
Oh no no no…I can't do this. Always be My Baby….Mariah Carey? Really?! It's like they want me to crawl in a hole and die.
She steps back from the microphone and turns to her friends with wide eyes and shakes her head no mouthing "I can't" to them
"Doo-doo doo doo doo doo dow. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, yeah." They sing as they shake their heads yes.
No, you don't understand…10 minutes ago, I could have done this…now I CAN'T!
She screams at them in her head as she misses her cue. Jennifer pushes her closer to the microphone and she fixes her eyes on the screen displaying the words in front of her.
She begins to read and sing along "Now you wanna be free, so I'm letting you fly. 'Cause I know in my heart baby, our love will never die no. "she softly sings as her friends chime in with "Woah, ooh, oh-yeah, yeah. Boy don't you know you can't escape me. Oooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby."
Keep your eyes on the screen Hanna and you can do this…
She coaches herself as she doesn't even dare blink as she sings. She can feel his eyes on her from somewhere inside the bar. There are tons of eyes on her, but his are different, and she knows it. "I'm not gonna cry, no and I won't beg you to stay. If you're determined to leave boy, I will not stand in your way but inevitably, you'll be back again. 'Cause you know in your heart, baby, our love will never end, no."
Don't do it Hanna...don't you dare look up.
As the words leave her mouth she can no longer take the heat of his stare and she glances up hoping not to find him. It's as if suddenly the crowd has parted and she can only see him standing in the far corner of the bar or at least it seems that way in her mind. Their eyes lock and for a brief second she could have sworn she heard another gasp escape her mouth. She stands staring, looking into him from across the room. He picks up his shot glass and downs the brown liquid inside sitting the glass down he stares back at her. She glances down at the screen, she can see the words on the screen that she should be singing but they become blurrier and blurrier. She blinks trying to bring the words into focus but then she can barely see the screen at all. She tries to take a deep breath, but her lungs refuse to work, it's as if she is underwater and cannot breathe. She can feel the tears as the prick the backs of her eyes.
Tears…Don't cry Hanna, don't cry…abort mission but do not cry!
This time a gasp really does escape her mouth as she tries to fill her lungs with air and she jumps down from the stage. Stopping by the table she picks up the shot glass that sits there and downs the shot before making her way through the crowd and out the doors. Once the cold air hits her face she takes a deep breath and puts her hands on her head. She paces the street in front of the bar, taking deep breathes…her lungs never quite filling with enough air to calm her down. She shakes her hands out to get them to quit trembling.
Why does he do this to me? How can he still do this to me? He is Caleb, that is why… What is he doing here? After all this time…how do I? Can I?
She thinks as she paces the sidewalk back and forth. Finally she stops and pulls her shoes off, not caring that her bare feet are on the nasty New York sidewalk. Holding them in her hand, as she turns back around to pace once more she stops. He stands there…in front of her on the sidewalk. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't have to. He just looks at her, his dark brown eyes giving him away…he's nervous. Hanna tries to slow her heartbeat that beats like a drum in her chest. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it back and looks down at the ground and then back up at her. She opens hers to speak but realizing that she still cannot find her voice she stops.
He opens his mouth again, this time he speaks "Hi Han."
His voice makes her shudder as butterflies erupt in her stomach and chill bumps surface on her arms. She looks down as her arms to see if they give her away. She looks back up at him, he stands with his arms awkwardly by his side, his chest moving up and down so fast that she can tell that he is having trouble catching his breath.
Speak…Breathe…Move….Something…
She scolds herself as her knees begin to shake under her, giving her away. She clears her throat and tries again "Hi." She chokes out but it is just a whisper. They stand in silence again, just staring at each other as people walk around them. In her mind, they move around them in such a fast pace, almost like they are in fast forward while Caleb and her are stuck in real time…maybe even in slow motion. Before she can stop herself the words come right out of her mouth, "What are you doing here?"
He half chuckles and looks down at the ground and scratches the back of his head, no doubt debating his answer, "I uh, I am here on business."
"In this bar on business? Or in this city on business?" the words come out harsher than she wanted them to. "I'm sorry I just…I didn't expect to see you here is all...it's just been a long time."
He sighs "Yeah, I know what you mean…" he says, his eyes searching hers "I, uh I am in this city on business. I'm in this bar catching up, with dad." he says as he points over his shoulder towards the building.
"Jamie's here?" Her minds goes back to what the waitress said when she delivered the first shots 'The guy over there said they were from an old friend' and she blurts out "Were you the one that sent us those drinks?"
"Drinks? No, I uh" he shakes his head in confusion "We were just about to leave. I didn't see you and your friends come in and when the DJ said your name earlier I – uh…I didn't want to ruin your birthday so we were just finishing our rounds and heading out."
"Ruin my birthday? You could never ruin my birthday." She whispers shaking her head in disbelief "Why would you think being here would ruin it for me?"
"You know, you say that but so far I have you drop a drink on your Manila's, screw up your favorite Mariah Carey song, and right now you are standing out on the sidewalk barefoot. Doesn't exactly sound like a good time to me."
Hanna chuckles and looks down at her feet on the ground and back up at him "Manolo's" she corrects him playfully. He gives her a small smile and a confusing look. She returns his smile and holds up her shoes "They're Manolo's…nice try though…you get points for knowing that they are Manolo's and not Louboutin's."
He half smiles at her, but she can tell it's forced. She slowly takes s step forward to him and he follows her lead and takes one to her. She takes another and so does he, they do this until they are in an arms length of each other. She stills, knowing this will never end well if she does it...if she touches him she will break, but she wants to anyway. She lifts her arms out to hug him and when she does Alyssa bursts out the door, making her jump and drop her shoes onto the concrete.
"There you are!" she says as she rolls her eyes looking at Hanna "We got worried, we didn't know where you went." she says as she walks right in between them grabbing Hanna's arms "Are you okay?"
Hanna watches Caleb as he backs away awkwardly giving the friends their space "Yeah, I am fine...I just...I needed some air." she says as she glances down at her friend and then back at Caleb.
"Okay, well come...on...back...did I interrupt something?" she asks as she looks over her shoulder and sees Caleb standing there. She whips around to face him, moving beside Hanna "I am so sorry" she says as a smile creeps across her face "I am Alyssa" she says as she sticks her hand out to shake his.
You need to back up Alyssa...I know the game you're playing...he won't fall for it...
She thinks as she rolls her eyes and watches Caleb reach out to shake her hand.
"Caleb."
Alyssa smiles again and looks between the two of them "Do you guys know each other?"
They stand staring at each other, never even acknowledging that they are no longer alone. Hanna finally speaks "Yeah. We uh...we go way back. Caleb is a ..." she swallows "Caleb is a good friend from back home..." she says with a smile.
"Oh!" Alyssa sighs "Well, do you want to come in and hang with us? I mean Hanna may be off the market but I might could squeeze a dance in with you." she says flirtatiously.
Hanna turns her head and gapes at her friend "Alyssa!"
She. Did. Not. Just. Do. That.
"What?" she squeaks
Hanna turns and looks back to Caleb, his eyes look pained, hurt "Off the market huh?" he says, his tone has changed.
"Yeah, she hasn't told you? She is engaged to one of New York's - " Hanna steps in and cuts her off
"Shut up Lyssa!" she whispers as she pushes her friend and glances back up at Caleb.
"Engaged? Wow. I uh - I had no idea. Congratulations. He's a...He's a lucky man." he says, with a shake of his hand and then he looks down at the ground "I uh - I better get back in here and get Jamie...it was good to see you Han." he says with a forced smile, and then he is gone. Disappearing inside the building as Hanna stands on the sidewalk watching on unable to move to stop him.
Alyssa just smiles back at her "How come you didn't tell me you knew him! He is so HOT! You have got to get me the hook up." She turns her glare to Alyssa who stands beside her, she can almost barely contain her anger.
Calm down...she doesn't know anything about him. God, how come it couldn't have been Jen to come out looking for her, she knows.
"Why did you do that Alyssa?"
"Do what? What did I do?" she squeaks completely oblivious.
Hanna huffs "Nothing. Let's just get back in here." she says as she grabs her shoes from the sidewalk and puts them back on and stalks back into the building. When she enters, she begins to scan the crowd looking for him, but cannot see anything so she sulkily walks back to the table with Alyssa following behind her. When she reaches the table the other two girls stand there both of them shoot her a look and Hanna rolls her eyes "Don't ask" she says as she takes her place at the table.
Alyssa walks up "So, you guys...how about the hottie I ran into - he's an old friend of Hanna's! She is going to get me the hook up with him!" she claps
Hanna rolls her eyes and before she can say anything someone taps her on the shoulder. She turns around to face Jamie standing there offering her a big smile.
"I just wanted to come tell the birthday girl happy birthday before we left." he says as he bends down to hug her.
"Thank you." she whispers as she fixes her eyes on Caleb who stands silently behind him in the crowd.
"You will always be my favorite daughter in law Hanna, even if you were just almost one. I wouldn't be able to hang out with my son if it wasn't for you. Thank you." he whispers and pulls back from her. "I am still here you know. Just a few miles away from here...don't be a stranger." he says.
Not this. Not now.
She can feel the tears prick at her eyes as she smiles at him and hugs him again. This time she closes her eyes, not daring to look at Caleb who still stands behind them. He pulls back from her again and turns to walk off. Caleb walks up to her, his thumbs hooked into his belt loops.
"We are about to head out. I just wanted to come say bye. It was really good to see you."
"Yeah, you too." she says as she offers him a smile.
Goodbye? Again.? Break my heart why don't you.
He turns around to leave and them turns back around to her his mouth open as if to say something but quickly shuts it back. She smiles again and opens her arms for a hug. He walks in to her, making her gasps as he wraps his around her, putting one hand on the back of her head. She slides her hands around his back underneath his jacket and rests her chin on his shoulder. Screwing her eyes shut, knowing that tears are not far from spilling.
He sighs next to her ear and it makes shivers run down her spine "Happy Birthday Han." he whispers
"Thank you." she almost sobs in reply.
He pulls back from her offering her one last smile "Bye."
She swallows and whispers "Bye" as he turns and walks out of the bar. Hanna looks up at the ceiling forcing the tears in her eyes away before turning back to the table and her friends. Jennifer shoots her a questioning look as Hanna grabs the glass off the table and downs the shot that sits in front of her. Jennifer leans in to her "Was that..?"
"Yeah, it was." she breathes as she picks up the glass that sits in front of her friend and turns it up, sitting the glass back down on the table when she is done. "I need to use the bathroom." she whispers as she turns away from the table.
She pushes her way through the crowd, trying to make it to the bathroom before the tears fall.
