A/N: Had fun writing this chapter :) Please let me know what you think!

The Wrong Guy

Scorp,

Having an argument with Rose and I need you to back me up. What exactly is your opinion on the idea of Rose going out with Joseph Flint?

Al


Al,

Joseph Flint? That Ravenclaw jerk in seventh year who's dated about a million different girls? Absolutely not! Wait, this is hypothetical, isn't it? You don't mean she's actually going out with him? She's not stupid enough to do that, is she?

Scorp


Scorp,

Al tells me you disapprove of me going out with Joseph Flint. Would you mind explaining exactly what you don't like about it? Perhaps you think I'm incapable of looking after myself, as my dear cousin seems to believe? Or do you just have a grudge against Joseph?

Rose


Rose,

Please tell me you're not really out with him! You're just doing this to wind Al up, right?

Scorp


Scorp,

He asked me out today. I still haven't decided whether to say yes. But you didn't answer my question.

Rose


Rose,

You can't go out with Joseph Flint! He's an absolute bastard! Do you know how many girls he's gone out with, just to play with their affections, cheat on them, and dump them when he gets bored? It's not that I don't think you can take care of yourself, I just think Joseph Flint is absolutely wrong for you.

Scorp


Scorp,

And what proof do you have that Joseph did any of the things you're accusing him of?

Rose


Rose,

Proof? I don't need proof! It's common knowledge that he's a complete jerk. Just ask one of the girls he's gone out with!

Scorp


Scorp,

You of all people should know better than to listen to rumours. Remember when it was "common knowledge" that you and me were going out? And as for those girls, they were probably all just upset that he decided to split up with them, so they ran off and started all sorts of spiteful stories about him. He seemed like a perfectly nice guy when I was talking to him earlier.

Rose


Rose,

I don't know what lies he's been feeding you, but I thought you were too intelligent to believe rubbish like that. I don't know if you're just doing this to get back at your dad or to make a point, but I can't allow you to go out with someone like that, and I'm sure all your cousins will agree with me. I know Al does. He probably just asked you out for a dare or something, and you can't give him the satisfaction of knowing he can get any girl he likes.

Scorp


Scorp,

Can't allow? Can't allow? Since when do I need your permission to go out with someone? And did it never cross your mind that maybe he asked me out because he likes me, and not because of a dare? Or is it just too difficult an idea to grasp, that a guy might actually want to go out with me?

Well, nobody has the right to tell me what I can and can't do. We will go out, not to get back at my dad, and not because someone dared him to, but because we like each other. And if you can't deal with that then maybe you should just get lost!

Rose


Rose,

I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. I know I can't tell you what to do, and I didn't mean it to sound like that. I'm just worried about you. And of course some guys want to go out with you. I just don't think Joseph Flint is one of them.

Scorp


Rose,

Stop ignoring me, please! I don't care who you go out with! I'll stop trying to tell you what to do.

Scorp


Rose,

I'm really, really sorry! Please don't ignore me.

Scorp


Al,

I'm such an idiot! Rose is really pissed off at me now. She's not replying to my letters. She never does that, even when she's annoyed. Can you tell her I'm really sorry?

Scorp


Scorp,

I would, but she's ignoring me too. She got really angry and yelled at me, and then she stormed off to her dormitory. Don't worry about it, though. She'll get over it. She gets mad at people all the time.

Al


Al,

Yeah, but not at me. She's never been properly mad at me before.

Scorp


Scorp,

Yeah, I suppose she hasn't. However, speaking as someone she gets mad at a lot, I can tell you she'll forget all about it soon enough.

Al


Al,

I suppose. Do you think she really will go out with Flint?

Scorp


Scorp,

Yes. Definitely. Just to prove that she can. She's not stupid, though. She'll realise what type of guy he is after a little while, and she'll break up with him. Probably very dramatically, knowing Rose.

Talking of people going out, we really need to find you a girlfriend. I could set you up with someone if you like. Daphne Patil, that Gryffindor girl in our year with the really long, black hair, definitely has a crush on you, according to Rose anyway. What do you think?

Al


Al,

Thanks, but I'm really not interested. I still don't understand why it's so urgent for me to get a girlfriend?

Scorp


Scorp,

Well, if you have a girlfriend then you and her, and me and my girlfriend, and Rose and her boyfriend (after Flint, obviously) can all go out together, instead of us leaving you out all the time. It'd be great!

Al


Al,

But you don't have a girlfriend at the moment, and Rose is dating Flint, so it's not really an issue yet.

Scorp


Scorp,

Yes I do. Didn't I tell you? I'm going out with Carmen Thomas, Daphne's cousin. That's why I though you and Daphne should go out. But I could set you up with a different girl if you'd prefer. Unless … would you rather I set you up with a guy? Cos I could probably do that too.

Al


Al,

What? No, no, NO! I am not gay.

Scorp


Scorp,

Really? Cos you know Rose and me wouldn't judge you if you were.

Al


Al,

I'm sure you wouldn't, but I'm not.

Scorp


Scorp,

Okay, if you say so. I just thought, what with you not being interested in any of the girls I suggest. And then you wouldn't ask anyone to the Yule Ball, and ended up going with Rose as friends. And then you danced with Rose once and nobody else for the rest of the evening. It just all seemed a bit … odd.

Al


Al, I'm not gay! I'm in love with Rose!


You're what? How can you be in love with Rose? You two are just friends … aren't you?

Actually, now I think about it, that makes sense. Of course you are! How did I never see that before? And here I was, thinking you were just too scared to tell us you were gay. Why did you never tell me?

Al


Al,

I thought it would just make it awkward if you knew. But it's better than you thinking I'm gay.

Scorp


Scorp,

Now does that just apply to me? The thing about how you'd rather I knew you were in love with Rose than thought you were gay? Cos quite a few people think that. Probably most of the guys in Gryffindor, actually. And I can tell them you're not, but I'm not sure they'll all believe me.

Al


Al,

What? Why? Why does everyone think that? I know I've not got a girlfriend, but that doesn't mean anything. Lots of guys don't have girlfriends when they're fifteen.

Scorp


Scorp,

I think it's cos you never even seem interested in any of the girls. You chat to girls sometimes, but it's really obvious you just think of them as friends.

Al


Al,

Well of course I'm not interested in any other girls! None of them even compare to Rose. But whatever. Just let people think I'm gay. As long as Rose and you know I'm not, I don't really care what the rest of them think.

Anyway, I've got to go. I haven't even started my Potions homework, and it's not like Rose will let me copy hers at breakfast if she's still mad at me.

Goodnight.

Scorp


Dear Grandma,

What a day! Rose hates me, half of Gryffindor think I'm gay, and on top of that I'm probably going to get detention tomorrow cos I've been too distracted to even attempt my Potions homework. Oh, and Rose is going out with some bastard who's probably going to break her heart. But my thoughts aren't making much sense at the moment, so I'll write again tomorrow when I'm not half asleep and explain properly.

Scorpius