A/N: Okay, this chapter is just a bit of a filler really, but I quite enjoyed writing it. It may be a little while before I update now because the next two or three chapters are very important and I want to make sure I do them absolutely right. Enjoy!

Christmas Confessions

Mum,

Wow, almost Christmas again. The last year's gone so fast. I can't believe we're half way through sixth year already. Only another year and a half and then we'll be doing our NEWTs and finishing school. I have to admit, I'm pretty terrified. I don't feel at all ready to go out into the real world. I'm sure it's nothing like Hogwarts, and I don't feel like an adult at all yet, despite my seventeenth birthday being fairly soon now. I suppose it wasn't really the same for you, what with worrying about saving the wizarding world and all that when you were in sixth and seventh year. In fact, I don't know how you and Dad and Uncle Harry did all that amazing stuff when you were only seventeen. I barely feel old enough to cope with writing myself revision plans and figuring out possible career options, never mind evading an evil dark lord and searching for Horcruxes. How on earth did you do it?

Anyway, the real reason I wrote to you, rather than to Dad, was because I want to ask you about something. You and Dad started going out when you were seventeen, right? Did you know straight away that he was the guy you would end up spending the rest of your life with? How do you know when you find the right guy? Because Ethan and I have been together for over a year (isn't that brilliant? I would never have guessed a year ago that in a year's time we'd still be going out. And Al and Scorp are still with Daphne and Carmen, so we're all doing pretty well in our relationships right now) and this feels very different from any relationship I've been in before. They were all great – and I enjoyed every single moment of all of them – but this isn't the same. With Ethan I actually dream about the future a little, and what it might be like if I spent it with him. I imagine what our wedding would be like, and what sort of house we'd live in, and how many kids we'd have. Do you think that means he's the right guy? Or at least that this is a more serious relationship than the rest? When did you know with Dad?

Say hi to Dad for me. Oh, and Hugo sends his love. Not that he said it in those precise words (you know fourteen-year-old boys) but it's probably what he meant.

Love, Rose


Rose,

Time does fly by so quickly. It seems like only days ago I received your very first letter, just after James flew the Hogwarts Express into the Whomping Willow, telling me all about your Sorting, and about your first impression of Scorpius, who of course has gone on to become your best friend. And now you're in sixth year. I remember my sixth year. Not one of the best years of my life, I have to admit.

You're right that finishing school wasn't quite the same for me, or any of my classmates, as it is for you. Exams and careers don't seem quite so important when there's a high chance you won't live to sit the exams, or choose a career. And I think that did force us to grow up a little faster than we otherwise would have. But it didn't feel like that at the time. I didn't feel grown up. I was just a scared seventeen-year-old who was doing her best to do what needed to be done, and I think anyone would have done the same. If you have to cope, you do. And it will be the same when you leave school. It's only once you're forced to cope with something you never thought you would be strong enough for that you realise that the strength has always been there inside you; it just doesn't become apparent until you really need it.

As for the relationship between your dad and I, that was also affected by the War. Living in a tent for months on end, living off very little food and seeming to achieve nothing can make things rather tense. I suppose our relationship officially began after our first kiss (right in the middle of the Battle of Hogwarts, in case you were interested) but I think I knew long before that how I felt about him, if only subconsciously. Even when I was dating Viktor Krum, and then when he was dating some girl called Lavender Brown, I knew – if not consciously then somewhere deeper – that those relationships wouldn't last. When did I know, was what you asked, and I would have to say that I knew from the moment he stepped in to defend me the first time somebody called me a "Mudblood" (that didn't go quite as he planned, but that's a story for another time). I was only twelve, so I didn't really realise at the time, but I think that was probably the moment I fell in love with him. I didn't know I was in love with him until fourth year, though. And I didn't know quite how much love could hurt until sixth.

But it's you and Ethan who are important right now, not Dad and I. And I think in your case it's a little harder to tell, probably because you haven't known one another quite so long. I don't remember thinking there was anything particularly special between you when he came to stay for the summer, but a lot of time's passed since then, and I've certainly got the impression from your letters that you like him a lot. But ultimately it's not about what I think. Deep down inside you, you know who the perfect guy for you is. It's not something you should have to think about logically. You should just know.

Has any of that helped at all, or have I just rambled for several paragraphs for no reason whatsoever? Try not to overthink it, or to worry too much, though I know worrying about things is a trait you inherited from me. What's meant to be will be, and in my experience worrying doesn't really help very much.

Have a great Christmas, and I hope you enjoy the Yule Ball.

Love, Mum


Scorp,

Hey, you still awake?

Al


Al,

Yeah, of course I am; I only left the Yule Ball twenty minutes ago. How come you left so early? I thought you and Carmen were planning to stay for another few hours?

Scorp


Scorp,

I figured Carmen would probably enjoy it more if I didn't hang around with her, considering I just broke up with her. Not that she seemed very upset, but I couldn't exactly expect her to welcome my company very much. And Rose and Ethan looked a little too busy to appreciate me joining them, so I thought it might be a better idea if I just left.

Talking of going to bed early, why aren't you still down there? It's only eleven.

Al


Al,

Same reason as you, really. Well, I didn't break up with Daphne, but I did see her snogging some Slytherin guy, so I don't think my presence was really required.

Shame about you and Carmen, but I have to admit I'm not really surprised. This is a lot longer than you've dated someone before, and I did notice that the two of you haven't really been getting on as well as usual recently.

Scorp


Scorp,

Daphne was cheating on you? What a bitch! Are you okay, mate?

Al


Al,

Yeah, I'm fine. A bit shocked that Daphne would do something like that, but quite relieved too, actually. Gives me an excuse to break up with her. That sounds awful, doesn't it? But I've known for ages I wanted to end it, and I've never had the guts to.

Anyway, I couldn't face a big argument tonight so I just snuck away quietly, but I guess I'll have to confront her about it tomorrow. Oh well, I'll deal with that when I have to.

Scorp


Scorp,

Why did you want to end it with Daphne? I thought the two of you were getting on really well. Until she cheated on you, obviously. You always seemed like a really great couple. Better than Carmen and me, anyway.

Al


Al,

Nah, we just did a very good impression of a really great couple. But I've known from the moment we started going out that it wasn't going to last. She's just not right for me.

Scorp


Scorp,

What, and Rose is? Don't pretend that's not the real reason. You're still not over her. And I have to say that, while I'd love you and her to end up together, I don't think it's going to happen right now. Her and Ethan are looking pretty serious. At least give some other girls a chance, and stop being so bloody stubborn. She's. Not. Interested. Can I make it any clearer than that?

Al


Al,

I did. I dated Daphne for a year because you insisted on it, and if that's not giving other girls a chance then I don't know what is. And believe me, I would like nothing better than to get over Rose completely and fall madly in love with some other girl who loves me back. But it doesn't work like that, so if you haven't got anything useful to say then please just get lost.

Scorp


Al,

Sorry, I was completely unreasonable in that last letter. You're just trying to help, and I shouldn't have got so annoyed.

Scorp


Scorp,

You've got to stop making out that everything is your fault. It was me who sent the unreasonable letter and me who should e apologising, but I suppose Gryffindors find that harder than Hufflepuffs. Or you, anyway, if not all Hufflepuffs. All that pride, I suppose.

You're right; you did give Daphne a chance, and she's proven tonight that she wasn't worth it. I just hate seeing you pine after Rose, and making yourself miserable. But I'm sorry for sounding so harsh.

Al


Al,

Don't worry about it. But you shouldn't blame Daphne for the relationship falling apart. It was probably my fault for not really being interested in her. I was just using her to try and get over Rose, and she probably sensed that and had to find a guy who could kiss her without imagining someone else completely while he did it. I should have broken up with her months ago, for her sake, but I was just too selfish.

Scorp


Scorp,

Again with that stupid tendency to blame everything on yourself! If Daphne wasn't happy in the relationship then she should have ended it herself, and she certainly shouldn't be running around kissing other guys while she's going out with you. It's her fault entirely and you can't – you know what, I give up. Just blame yourself. Whatever. It's not like I'm getting through to you anyway. Bloody Hufflepuffs. I swear you're even more stubborn than us Gryffindors.

Al


Scorp,

I just had the most wonderful night. Ethan and I danced a couple of times, and then we went and sat down in the corner of the hall, and he went and got the drinks, like an absolute gentleman. Then we talked for ages and ages, and watched all the dancers, and he told me all about his plans to play Quidditch professionally, and asked me all sorts of questions about my ambition to be a teacher, and about what NEWTs I'd need for that, and whether I thought I'd achieve them all or not. And he was so wonderful and supportive, and seemed so genuinely interested in what I was saying, unlike most of the guys I've dated, who were never happy unless they were talking about themselves.

And then, at about half eleven, he grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the hall and into a completely deserted classroom, and he surprised me with an enormous bunch of roses, and then he told me he loved me! Isn't that unbelievably romantic?

I didn't say I loved him back, which I suppose I should have, but I was just too amazed to say a word. And I've been thinking about it and trying to decide whether I'm in love with him too. Because I'd never really thought about it before, but I think I must be. I mean, I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him, and I think about him all the time. I'm just constantly happy, particularly when I'm with him. Right now I feel like I'm floating on air. Those are all signs of being in love, right? What do you think, Scorp? You know me better than anyone else. Do you think I'm in love with Ethan?

Rose


Rose,

I wouldn't know, really, having never been in love like you are, with somebody who loves me back. In my experience, love isn't floating on air, or being constantly happy. Love hurts. Love is agony beyond anything I have ever had to endure before. Love is knowing that you will never really be happy without the other person, but knowing you would always choose to be miserable rather than happy if it was what was best for them. Love isn't something you have to think about to decide whether you're in love or not; it's something you know with every single fibre of your being. It's a part of you, as fundamental to who you are as your personality and your family and your Hogwarts house. Perhaps more so. But what would I know? Your way sounds like a much better way of being in love, and I've always heard that love is wonderful, so maybe your way's the real way. It certainly sounds more enjoyable. What's it like, not having your heart shatter into a million pieces every time you think about the person you're in love with? It must be wonderful.

As for your evening, it sounds like you had fun. Ethan certainly put a lot of effort into it, though it's not quite how I would have done it. Would you like to know how I would have done it? Probably not, but it's not like I'm actually going to send you this letter, not after some of the things I just said, so I may as well keep writing now.

If I'd been your date for the Yule Ball and, for the sake of argument, your boyfriend, though we both know that's never going to happen, I'd have done things a little differently from Ethan. I'd have started the same way, with a few dances, but I wouldn't have stopped at a few. We'd have danced and danced and danced until we were about to collapse, because I know how much you love to dance. I'd have twirled you round and round and round until you were completely dizzy and had blisters on your feet, and you'd have had that smile on your face, the one you have when you're truly, ecstatically happy. The one you always have when you're dancing, as though nothing else in the world matters but the music and the dancing and the moment. We probably wouldn't have talked at all – because who needs words when you have dancing? – but if we had it would have been about something light and meaningless to take your mind off the future and the exams and all the things you're really worried about and shouldn't have to dwell on when it's Christmas. And then, when we were both so exhausted we couldn't dance another step, I'd have led you outside to get some fresh air, and we'd have lain down on the grass and gazed up at the stars, and we'd have tried to pick out constellations, and I'd have failed miserably because I've never been great at Astronomy, but you'd have patiently pointed them all out to me. And then I'd have made up random constellations out of the patterns of stars, and invented all sorts of ridiculous stories about them. And you'd have laughed so much at how ridiculous I was being that I'd have kept on making up more and more, just to hear that laugh. Then, right in the middle of one of my stories, a really slow song would have come on and the music would have drifted out of the open doors and into the still night air. And I'd have dragged you onto your feet, ignoring all your fake protestations that you were too tired, and you'd probably have taken off your shoes because you really did have some awful blisters, and we'd have danced again, really, really slowly this time, and all on our own out in the darkness, the moon providing just enough light for us to see each other's faces, but not quite enough for us to see them clearly. Then, when the song finally stopped, I'd have pulled an enormous bunch of flowers out of thin air, lots of different types of flowers, but without a single rose, of course, because you've always hated the way people assume that because of your name you must absolutely love roses. And you'd have smiled that little smile, not the ecstatic one, but the tiny, contented one that says 'everything is right in the world'. I wouldn't have said I loved you, because I've never been one for big declarations of my feelings, and I know you're not either, but you'd have known all the same. Actions speak louder than words, people say, and I've always believed that, so I'd have let my actions speak for me. And maybe we'd have started dancing again, or stargazing, or simply lying on the grass talking, but we'd have lost track of time and before we knew it the Ball would be over and we'd have slipped reluctantly back inside and up to our dormitories, exhausted but very, very happy.

But hey, Ethan's way sounds great too. I'm sure it was a very romantic evening.

Wow, I really have rambled on a lot, which is a stupid waste of parchment and ink and time really, considering this letter will never get sent. As if I'd ever be brave enough to do that. I'm certainly no Gryffindor, not like the wonderful Ethan. I'm afraid us Hufflepuffs just aren't so bold and courageous. Loyal, friendly, hard working, honest; but what's the point in all that without the courage to confess how we feel? Not that it would make a difference, I suppose, because you're in love with Ethan, and I don't stand a chance against the charming, charismatic, brave Ethan, who even your dad likes.

I wish I could say I'm going to send you this letter, but that would be a lie, and if there's one thing Hufflepuffs don't like to do then it's lying. What I'm actually going to do is crumple it up into a ball and destroy it, and then I'm going to write you a very edited version, one that doesn't lie, but that certainly doesn't tell the truth.

Goodnight, Rose.

Scorp


Rose,

I wouldn't know, really, having never been in love like you are. What's it like? It must be wonderful.

As for your evening, it sounds like you had fun. Ethan certainly put a lot of effort into it. I'm sure it was a very romantic evening.

Goodnight, Rose.

Scorp