"Oh, everything is ours for the taking, Arthur! Give up while you still can, oh great King…"
"Sarcasm would not get you anywhere, Sorcerer! Hhrahh!"
King Arthur tried to resist the Sorcerer's attempt to take the royal throne. He took out his Excalibur and fought him for a few minutes. But the evil mage was so overwhelming. And King Arthur lied down on his back, unconscious. The Sorcerer then prepared a deadly explosive spell, aiming at the ground where King Arthur is lying.
Everyone could only look on in horror. Merlin, Guinevere, Lancelot, Galahad, the other Knights… and Rex and Lance in the background, who appeared to be ghosts.
"If only we did not do that stupid plan of yours…"
Lance's eyes were overshadowed, a sign of his own regret. "Why…"
"Say goodbye to this retched kingdom of yours, Arthur!"
And everything faded to black.
Chapter 1: Take her Clothes Off? (What in the…)
~ Lance's POV ~
"Gah! *pant* *pant*"
W… why did I dream that? I clench my fists in anger. I'm such an idiot.
"Come to think of it, where am I again?" all I see are pinkish walls…
Oh yeah. Compa let me sleep in her house. And man, trying to take that girl out of being stuck on the ground like the Sword In the Stone was a pain!
~ Last night ~
What in the…
A girl. Well, a short one, maybe. Wearing a "parka one-piece", blue and white striped stockings, and purple shoes with an N on it. I can't really see her head, cause it's the one that got stuck. How does… how does a girl survive being like a shooting star?!
"What did you find, Lance?"
"Ahh… Compa, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, what?"
"Is this realistically possible?" throwing my thumb at the stuck person.
Compa then looked at the person, "H-huh?"
"Okay, I'll try to take her out…" I tell her.
I walk up before the stuck girl. Doing a few stretches, I try to pull her up by grabbing her legs. "Ghhk…"
Holy moly! She's stuck like the Sword in the Stone! My god, am I experiencing what the people before Arthur tried to do?! Cause oh my life, she's damn stuck that my strength isn't enough!
"I'll help you, Lance," Compa came to my aid. We both apply force into pulling out the girl. "Yaaah!"
Aaannd!
~ Real time ~
I stand up. To let you guys know, I slept on a 'couch'. I look around the kitchen to find food. And, hey, a salad! It might be plain, but at least I have something to fill my stomach…
*munch* *munch*
Sitting down on a chair, I silently eat the salad. Hope Compa doesn't mind me eating her salad… and dammit, my regret's kicking in. I KNEW I shouldn't be reckless when the world's in danger, but nnnooo… my cool hero side said "No, that's boring…"
I swear, if I catch myself with a world threat again, I will really…
I hold off my fist from punching the table. Compa wouldn't like that… and I just noticed… why do I keep mentioning Compa's name? Erm… now my breakfast is awkward… I stare at the table. No, no. I may be 18, but I'm a Knight… but damn teen boy 'hormones'… Tch…
I decided to finish what's left of the salad, and went to the room where that weird girl is resting… which happens to be Compa's room… No, no… I shook my head furiously…
Ehem… I… it's just normal, right? Going inside a g-girl's room? Ehh… dammit, I'm blushing furiously now! I can't come inside like this! Okay… inhale… exhale… you're just coming inside a friend's… room. Act normal.
"That one sentence sounded a bit wrong, but eh… let the story continue…" Author Middonaito said, shrugging off his shoulders.
"I HEARD THAT!"
*deep breath*
Okay… okay… my hand's on the 'doorknob'. Slowly now…
*creaking*
"Hello? Anyone here?" I check the room. Look left, look right.
"Ah, Lance! Hey!"
Hey, Compa's inside… not surprised…
"What's crackin', Compa?"
I take my time to look around. A pink room, full of 'stuff' I can't describe yet, but I see that syringe… I shed cold sweat. Man, that thing still gives me the chills… Brrr…
*alarm clock*
"Huh?"
"SHUT UP!" and she slams the 'alarm clock'. That shout though… that was a hell of a shout, woman… kinda reminds me of one 'video game' I'm trying to reference. Reminds.
And now, I lay my attention to the lilac-haired girl. Man, she really needs to comb her hair. Anyway, her eyes are purple, and her skin is fair. She's also petite, if you must know. She also has two 'D-pad clips' on. She wears a 'hoodie', purple and white in color, the zipper has a big circle with an N inscribed. Also something to take note is her striped 'stockings' and shoes. Hey, honestly, this is not Hell. Maybe.
"Hey, where am I?"
"Good morning sleepyhead, well, actually, good afternoon…"
GOOD AFTERNOON?! I normally wake up at 5 to 6! Oh man.
"Hey, Compa. You serious? Afternoon?!"
"Yeah, what's wrong?"
Oh my life! "I normally wake up at 5 to 6 in the morning! Ah, maybe it's because of 'jet lag' or something…"
"This isn't my room… Is it yours?" the lilac haired girl asked Compa.
"Yes! Lance and I saw a shooting star, and YOU were that shooting star…"
I cross my arms, "How was that realistically possible anyway?"
"Uh, game mechanics duh! No fall damage!"
"Okay…"
Then I turn to Compa, "This chick is weird…"
"Ah, don't sweat the small things, Lance…"
"If you're chill with her, I'm chill with her then…"
"Anyway, you were stuck like Soul-sword, only it was you…"
"Soul-sword? I'd describe her as stuck like the Sword in the Stone…"
"Don't you mean Soul E***?" then as she said the second word, a beep sound just played.
"Hey, what was that beep sound just now…?"
"Oh, just censorship… You know how it is with copyright…" the lilac-haired girl replied to me. Copyright? Censorship?
"Oh, right… dunno why I keep mistaking it for Soul-***e…" there it is again…
"You're not helping my case, Compa…" I said slouching.
And the lilac-haired girl just looked at us, "Wait, who are you guys?"
Compa looked at the girl in an enthusiastic voice, "My name's Compa. And this is Lance."
"If you want my real name, it's Lance Axlrod, pronounced as Axle-rod, got that? Either that or Lance is fine by me… what's yours, anyway?"
"It's Neptune. Nice to meet you, Compa, Lance."
I reply, "It's nice to meet you too, Neptune."
"Me too, Nepto-, Nepa-, Nepuyu-…"
Shocked to hear those come from Compa's mouth, I said, "Compa, you seriously can't pronounce her name?" and once again, question marks appeared above her head. "Is this gonna be like those times in plays when jokes are repeated? What is it in this world…? Ah! Running gag! Is this gonna be like a running gag, cause I don't know what to feel about that…"
"I smell running gag, Lance. Don't worry. It won't be THAT rampant," replied Neptune.
"I hope so… So, Compa, guess you have to call her by nickname. What do you suggest?"
"Neptuna, Nep-Nep, Nepper, your choice…"
"Hmm… what about Nep-Nep?"
"That's kind of a good choice… Anyway, may I ask something?" I calmly said to Neptune.
Waiting for Neptune to look at me. And there it is. "Why are you scraped up? And how did you fall from a great height? That seems unrealistic for a human being to survive a fall like that…"
"Hmm… I guess I got sandbagged good, but don't worry about it. The protagonist always has a way to heal up!"
"Uh, what?" I sweatdrop. I really need to know all the video game terminologies used in this world if I want to keep talking to Neptune, maybe.
"Let me take a look at you… and Lance, can you please turn around?"
A question mark appeared above my head, "Huh? Why?" but feeling like something's about to happen, I turn my back at them.
"Okay, so…" I heard footsteps. "First let's take those clothes off you…"
What the heck did Compa say? "Take off her what?!"
And then I heard rustling. Knowing that the sound was clothes getting undressed, I slowly but surely began to be red as a tomato…
"Wait, why do I have to go nude?" NUDE?!
"Cause I can't bandage you well with those clothes in the way, silly…"
I raise my shoulders, making it look like my head's going down… I decided to cover my earholes using my pointer fingers.
While having my hearing slightly lessened, I heard Compa say, "Don't dare turn around, Lance…" in which I reply with, "YES! I stake my Knight name to it!"
"Okay, here comes the wrap. This way… that way… loop it over…"
Oh man. Why is my hearing oh so sharp?! I guess it's true what people say: "A blessing can also be a curse, as a curse can also be a blessing." I'm sure Rex would be all like, "…Lucky bastard," or something along those lines… Oh, oh no! Not my imagination! Author, anything but the lewds!
"Sorry man, but your pure thoughts must be sacrificed for the sake of hilarity and fanservice…" Author Middonaito reasoned. "You think I like doing this to my OC? No… but for the sake of jokes, man… Bear with it like a true Knight…" Author Middonaito continued.
Please, don't… No! No!
I'm imagining… Neptune in bed naked, with Compa wrapping her up like some sort of broken arm… guess more like a mummy in this world's vocab… Well, good thing my imagination is depriving me of the good par- NO LANCE! I punch my face repeatedly until it became swollen.
"Ekschuse me, Compha… I am gawwing out, kay?" and without waiting for a reply, I open the door and got out of the hell I was in. Good Hell-NO! Now, I'm near the door, gasping for air. And my purity.
"I hate you, Author…"
"At least you're learning how to break the fourth wall… don't worry though. I'll make it up to you in the next chapter…"
"You better…"
I try to fix up my face. Ow, that stings, dude! I'm all teary eyed and stuff… Well, I've escaped, that's what matters…
Wait… But even though I've escaped, I can still hear them… damn heightened hearing!
"H-hold on! Can't you make it loose? It's getting tigh-"
"But you'll trip if I do that… just keep holding on…" and hey, a voice singing "I'll keep holding on! But my hope will never die!" just came out of nowhere before fading away.
"Can't breathe… My back… AHHH!"
What the heck is Compa doing? Is she trying to kill Neptune?! Holy Excalibur! Did I just hear someone say, "Ghhk…"?
"Nep-Nep? Are you okay, Nep-Nep?"
Oh my life, did Compa just kill Neptune?!
"Please come back! Nep-Nep! Nep-Nep?!"
Oh man, what should I do?
[Ignore] [Just don't mind]
DAMMIT, DON'T PULL A VIDEO GAME JOKE ON ME, AUTHOR! I'M GOING IN!
*door opening loudly*
"Hey, Compa, what the heck is going on?! I heard- WOAH!"
And oh damn! I faceplant. SPLAT! Great entrance, Lance. Great.
~ A few minutes later ~
Some few minutes past. And well… how is Neptune still alive?! Is she some sort of immortal or something? Okay, I'm gonna call it. She's immortal somehow. Anyway, now she has her clothes on, and her face doesn't look happy being wrapped around tight.
"Lance… I was so close from entering the light…" she said, holding onto my right arm sleeve. I just laugh awkwardly. "Okay… Next time, Compa. I'm teaching you how to wrap injuries…"
I admit, I am the magic/medic/speed-oriented man of me and Rex's two-man RPG party. Rex is the attack-oriented/tank, if you want to know. So, I'm experienced with healing Rex's injuries during and after battle.
"Hmph…" Compa pouted while looking at me. That's adorable. And then, Compa asked something, "Oh yeah, how did you fall from the sky, Nep-Nep?"
"That is unusual, as I can say…" I added, nodding in agreement.
"Uh… Umm… the thing is…"
Taking notice of her buffer, I said, "You have amnesia, don't you?"
"Ahaha… I don't remember anything before you guys found me…"
"Well, that's so sad. I don't have any idea how to cure amnesia…" Compa sadly said. Yep, there's no cure for lost memories… unless… and suddenly, I got an idea. I walk up to the giant syringe. *gulp* Can't let Compa get so down with something she couldn't have avoided.
"Lance?"
And with my might, I carry the syringe. Holy Sir George! This is heavy as heck!
"L-Lance… what are you doing?" Neptune nervously said.
"We gotta be a little unique than the original bonk on the head trope, right?" I said, holding the syringe with my two hands, like a greatsword ready to be swinged at the enemy.
Looking all so horrified, Neptune blurted out, "No! Anything but that, Lance… Don't smash my brain!" while holding onto her scalp. Oh man, this is funny as heck, and Neptune's face is amplifying it.
"Woah, don't break Nep-Nep's noggin, Lance…" and after that, I can't hold my laughter back. But, then I stopped…
And I smile, "Don't worry, I was just joking… I didn't like what Compa felt, so I decided to cheer things up a bit, you know."
"I sense ship worthy material, ohoho…" Neptune remarked, complete with a peculiar face, a mischievous one. Huh? Ship worthy? What is Neptune talking about? I just shrugged it off.
"Okay… so I'm a bit hungry… have anything?"
"I do have some salad…"
I sweatdrop, "Uh… I ate said salad, sorry, Compa."
"Aww… well, I do have pudding…" Pudding?
"Pudding?" me and Neptune asked in sync.
"You both haven't heard of it?"
I scratched the back of my head and replied, "Yeah, no… there's no such thing in England…"
"England?" she asked. "Just leave the details for later, Compa…"
"Does it taste good, Compa?" Neptune asked. Oh yeah, I was gonna ask that as well…
"You both have to taste to know then! Be right back!" Compa said before going out the room. And so, I'm left with Neptune.
"Hey, did you dream the same thing that I had earlier? The one with the voice and stuff?"
I look at Neptune with a confused face, "What?"
"Black room, disembodied voice, that Celestia place…?"
"What? Sorry, but no…"
"But you were there with me!"
"Sorry, nope. No idea. You might have mistaken, Neptune…"
"I was sure that was you… whatever!" And she dumps that topic. Wonder what she dreamt about… That had me there…
"Here you go!"
Hey, what do you know? Compa's back! With… two yellow jiggly things… oh, now I miss that dogoo again. She hands us one each.
"So this is pudding, eh? Well, it does look appealing to boot…" I said, observing the food, while Neptune is playing around with it. "So this is pudding? Woah, it wiggles when you poke it…"
"That last part sounded a bit wrong, but whatever…" I remark. Did she have to put in an innuendo? Or was it just me who thought of it?
"Nep-Nep, don't tell me you lost memory of food too…"
"No, I know cake and stuff, but this is a first…"
"Then what are you waiting for? Eat it! I'm eating!"
And when I took a bite, wow! This thing IS delicious! I gotta know its recipe! I'd be filthy rich back in England if I got that!
And now, she took a bite, "Wow! Such sweetness! It's melting away in my mouth!"
Holy Lord! When did she finish all that?! Oh my God!
"Really? It was good?"
"Heck yeah!" I gave her a thumbs up!
"I made it myself…"
"Really?" and all of a sudden, I was gripping her hands and, with our faces ever so close, looked at her with amazement, "You gotta teach me, Compa!" And then her face turned red, as I realize that…
"Ohoho, I ship it! LancexCompa, get that ship sailing, Author!" Neptune said with a snicker as I panicked. "What the heck did I just do?!"
"Wasn't me… It was your own actions…*whistles*"
I turn away, steam coming out of my ears… oh my life!
"Oh, don't sweat it, smooth guy…"
"Geez Louise, Neptune…"
A few minutes later, and oh my life, Neptune is a damn pudding eating machine! I can't tell how much pudding she ate! But, I can tell that it was A LOT!
"So… what are you going to do now, Neptune?" I ask her.
"Hmm… I guess I could go back to the place where you found me. There might be some clues there…"
"Then me and Lance will take you there…"
"As much as I want to learn this world's lore, I want to help Neptune recover her memories…"
I turn around. Looking at Compa, I ask, "So when do we leave?"
"Just let me prepare my stuff…" I nod and looked back at Neptune, "You ready?"
"As ready as a game protagonist can be!"
Okay, first step to finding my way back home and stopping the Sorcerer is a go!
