"I should've have known I couldn't keep anything from you," Mrs. Cooper said into the awkward silence.

"Still, none of this explains the death certificate for George Looper," Sheldon grumbled.

"Maybe the person who made that mistake was new to the keyboard," Mrs. Cooper offered.

"Yeah, and maybe that person was fired and replaced by someone who knew how to type." Sheldon's complaints were quelled when a shriek came from the hallway. Though he wasn't the only one to hurry to the door, he was the first, and pulling it open he saw Penny leaning against the wall, pressing the phone to her ear with a shaking hand.

"Oh! That's terrific!" she was saying tearfully. "I am so happy for you, congratulations. Okay. 'Bye." She hung up and looked mistily at Leonard. "Bernadette's having twins!"

"Oh my God!"

Sheldon was the only one with a negative reaction. He rolled his eyes. "Double trouble," he muttered. "Double diapers. One of me."

"Yeah, that's too much," Leonard mused.

Sheldon gave him a sour glance, turned and walked into the apartment.

"She's not havin' 'em right now, is she?" Mrs. Cooper asked anxiously.

"No, no. She's at the, um, baby-doctor place," Penny answered. "She's not due for three more months."

Jakob looked cluelessly at Mrs. Cooper. "Is Bernadette related to me?"

"No."

"Is her husband?"

"No. Yer family is Sheldon, Missy, an' George." Mrs. Cooper smiled at her husband's brother. "An' I'm happy to be a stepsister when you need one."

"Thanks! But none of that Biblical crap, okay?"

Mrs. Cooper withdrew. "And now yer on yer own," she said, and walked past him into 4A. "Shelly, watcha doin'?"

"I had to make an edit to a page of the Babysitter Agreement," Sheldon answered, looking up at her from his computer chair. He clicked the mouse and the printing machine hummed to life.

"Such as?"

"I categorized myself as Reliable But Unwilling."

Mrs. Cooper peered over his shoulder at the screen. "You're the only one on that list."

"It's a relatively new category." Sheldon closed the program and retrieved the paper. With his other hand he picked up a steaming cup.

"Tea?" Mrs. Cooper inquired. "Uh-oh. Why're you upset?" she asked knowingly.

"Because even if I refuse to babysit, Leonard never would; which means I'll have to put up with it anyway." Sheldon sipped his tea, put his cup down, tore out a page in the binder he held, and replaced it with the paper he had printed. Then, as the others came in from the hall, Sheldon dug out his ringing phone. "Offer them tea," he murmured to his mother, before answering. "Hello? ...Yes, I heard. ...Joyous? That's complete poppycock." He flashed a quick and strained smile at Penny, but quickly rolled his eyes. "No, Amy, I don't want - nonono, that's not a mu - Amy!" He paused and listened, then shook his head. "I said I'd consider it. ...And, I don't want children yet; I'm...Hey! I am not too old. ...Okay, I'm not too old yet, but...Yes, yes, I'll concede you're getting there, too. ...Fine! Goodbye." He hung up, looking like a wounded animal.

"You okay, Shelly?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon walked over to his Spot and sank into it with a sigh. "Amy's losing her patience," he said, his voice raw. "She wants kids; she says if she's not pregnant by the time Bernadette has kids, she's leaving me."

"Whoa," Penny said.

"That's harsh. What're you gonna do?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon sighed. "I don't know. On the one hand, I don't want kids...But on the other, I really don't want to lose her again."

Mrs. Cooper raised her brows. "Sounds like you don't want to lose her, more than you don't want to become a daddy."

Sheldon stood and, abandoning his tea on the computer desk and the guests in his house, he put on his coat and grabbed his keys from the bowl. "Make yourself at home, Jakob. We've got a kitchen and a toilet, I'll see you later." He pulled the door shut behind him with such force that the dart board rattled.