Title: A Lifetime of Style

Disclaimer: I do not "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea.

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Chapter 20: Talk

Stan is looking for his favorite tie to wear to a dinner party hosted by Kyle's firm when Robert knocks on the door.

"Dad?"

"Hey, Rob, what's up?" In recent months, Robert had eased up to people shortening his name. He has to admit that "Rob" sounds cooler than "Robert."

"I kinda have a few questions about…stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well…I'm embarrassed to say it. Ryan's got the same questions," Rob clears his throat.

"Hmm, you and Ryan have the same questions?" Stan asks. He senses what he's trying to say, but he prefers for Rob to be honest.

"Can I get him? I think it's better if you hear from both of us..."

"No, you can't. But you most certainly may," Stan says. He can't help but put that English degree to use.

Rob brings Ryan over.

"Well, Dad, we've been experiencing some weird stuff…" Rob begins.

The twelve-year-olds explain everything to him, such as having dirty dreams, feeling "funny" around girls, wanting to date, etc.

"Ah, I knew I'd have to give the whole 'You're growing up' speech one day…" Stan grins.

When Kyle gets home from work, the family gathers in the living room to have "the talk." Kyle simplifies things for them, while Stan tries to be colorful and animated, including putting on a puppet show. Kyle pinches the bridge of his nose, a habit he had picked up from being around his husband all his life. Rob and Ryan are horrified, never feeling more embarrassed in their lives. After they've had enough, the twins excuse themselves to their room.

Kyle stops them as they're halfway up the stairs.

"If you have any more questions, come to me," the ginger Jew says, wanting to spare them the horror of another Stanley Marsh puppet show.

Kyle walks up to Stan and says "Dude, don't ever do that again. That's more embarrassing than anything your Dad did."

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