Disclaimer: I do not own HP, nor do I own any of JK's character. I do own my original character, Lilianna, plus more to come.
Note: Sorry about any OOCness, this kind of can't be helped due to the nature of the fic. This chapter helps you understand the nature of everyone relation with Sev, especially and mainly Remus. Any guess as to what will happen in the next chapter, post them in reviews. I would like to hear them.
Chapter 3 – Finding Him So Broken
Remus's search only took about a month. He searched Severus's house, checked St. Mungos, Diagon Alley, muggle London and Hogsmeade, before finding him by chance during the full moon. Remus has been forced to go to the shrieking shack, for the first time in a long tie, just in case the last of his wolfsbane potion was not enough. Severus had been there and was in a rather ragged state. His hair was greasier than usual; his pale skin was a gray, his eyes red and puffy and his body thin and wasted.
Remus just made it into the house before he could no longer keep the transformation at bay any longer. He let out a tremendous how, which woke Severus on the second floor, who transformed instantly. Remus ran about downstairs sniffing the house wildly as Severus cautiously edged down the steps with the little strength he had in him, turning the corner and coming snout to snout with Remus himself. Relief washed over Severus as Remus sniffed him over, confirming it was indeed Severus. Remus looked over the thin ragged form of his last remaining pack member. He let out a low sorrowful howl, and then whimpered slightly. He nuzzled Severus and Severus returned Remus's nuzzle before turning and heading back upstairs, Remus at his side.
He reached the room he was sleeping in and went over to the bed climbing unto it and lying down. Remus whimpered pitifully, as if to say 'please don't die.' Severus growled at him in annoyance, "I'm not going to die, you twit." Remus hopped unto the bed settling a bit away form Severus because his growl deepened. Remus began to whine, "what is wrong with you Sev?" Severus continued to growl, "shouldn't you be with Tonks and the baby?" Now Remus growled in annoyance, "they will be fine without me for one night. Tonks in as animagus now, too you know. She can more than deal with our little three month olds' transformation. Right now Sev I'm more concerned about you." Severus looked to Remus in disbelief toward the statement, and then growled, "why do you care, huh Remus?" His growl lessened and turned into a whine, "why does it matter?" Remus whined softly, "ah Perks, you're a member of my pack. That makes you family. You are my friend and you are important to me. You're important to everyone; they are all so worried about you Perks. We don't want to lose you Perks, we need you." Severus whimpered softly, "Oh, Mooney." Severus sat up head tilted skyward and let out a long piercing, sorrow filled howl. Remus knew instantly what was wrong with him. Severus, his friend, was lonely, depressed and in need of a companion (mate). He needed someone he could care for, who would love him unconditionally. Remus moved toward Severus and nuzzled him; he knew this feeling from when James and Sirius died. He'd lost the rest of his pack and still missed them terribly. He joined Severus, howling his loneliness away, until they were too tired to howl any longer. Both fell asleep just before morning and slept till mid-afternoon.
Remus woke up before Severus no longer a werewolf and went to the bathroom to tidy himself. Severus woke up while Remus was in the bathroom and transformed back to normal, grabbed a potion from the nightstand beside the bed and waited for Remus to come out. Took about 10 more minutes for Remus to some out, then Severus handed him the potion and went to take his turn in the bathroom. Severus sighed at his reflection, than disrobed and turned on the shower, before stepping in and letting the water was over him. He considered it a blessing that the school still kept the house in working order, but sighed at the fact that he would never work there again. He showered quickly and smiled outwardly when he got out of the shower and saw his wand and his clean clothes lying on the counter waiting for him. Severus dressed, brushed his teeth and preformed 'scourgify' on his hair, before leaving the bathroom.
Remus waited for him in the room, sitting on the bed, the empty potion bottle on the nightstand. Severus gave a smile of thanks, which Remus returned. However Remus frowned and Severus looked at his clothing and robes, which were a bit slack due to his weight loss. His stomach growled in loudly and he blushed, while Remus laughed. Remus stood, "Come on Perks, me thinks ye stomach be right. It's well past breakfast; lets get you out of here and get some food in you. You're far to thin for my tastes Perks." Severus muttered something under his breath, but started to gather his things and Remus headed downstairs.
Severus followed him after he'd gathered all his things. "Ready," asked Remus. Severus rolled his, "yeah, yeah Mooney. Lead the way."
Severus and Remus had lunch at the Three Broomsticks and chatted about the new baby girl Remus and Tonks had. Severus made a considerable effort during the conversation to keep his loneliness from washing over him again once again. Remus sensed this and changed the subject to how the world was recovering after the war. Severus smiled at his friend and used the time to use occulumency to clear his head and push his loneliness away, and then he changed the subject back to Remus's daughter Lilianna. They talked about Harry and Ginny, as well as Ron and Hermione, mostly Hermoine's pregnancy. Severus chuckled to himself thinking that a baby so soon was so like a Weasley.
After lunch Severus and Remus apparated to Severus's house. Remus offered to let Severus stay with him and Tonks for a while, but Severus declined the offer and promised to visit Tonks, Remus, and Lilianna the next day. Although worried Remus accepted his friends promise to visit and sat down on the couch in the living room. "Sev, before I leave we really need to discuss what happened last night and your disappearing act. Harry was really worried when you disappeared after the wedding. Sev, please explain to me what's going on." Severus sighed; he knew this was coming, although he wished it wouldn't. "Well, Sev?" Severus looked to his friend and sighed once more, "I'm just lonely Remus. I, um …well I." Severus blushed deeply, "I thought I didn't have anyone who loved me, and the wedding brought those feeling to the surface. Seeing my former students all so happy and in love. I never really had that in my whole life and all the bad memories and emotions broke through my occulumency and I went, well, I went all to pieces. I cried; I haven't done that since Hogwarts as a kid. I wanted someone, anyone and had forgotten my friends, … no my new extended family." Remus nodded in understanding, then smiled at Severus last comment. "You guys are so great Remus, but even so I feel like something is missing." Remus stood up ad walked behind Severus putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's always best to experience you emotion and meet challenges head strong and determined. Don't rely to much on occulumency. It isn't always all that helpful, sometimes I can hurt you more than you'd think."
Remus gave Severus's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You know Perks, I think what your missing is children, a mate, and a good shagging." Remus laughed at Severus's deep blush. "Seriously Perks, consider it." Remus moved away, "well Perks, I'd better go or Tonks 'll have my head. Remus disapparated before Severus was able to regain his composure. 'Children, a mate, and a good shagging? Is that really the fix for my loneliness?' Severus sat in the armchair and became lost in his thoughts.
Next Chapter: CH.4 - Quite A Decision
