Title: A Lifetime of Style
Disclaimer: I do not "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea.
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Chapter 23: Mature
Stick of Truth is a major success, and Stan is already working on the second book in the series, entitled The Fractured but Whole. He wants to give this book a bit more of a mature feel while still maintaining his young adult audience.
For some inspiration, he decides to see what Rob and Ryan are reading. When he pulls a book from Rob's shelf, he notices a thin wrapper fall out.
Condoms haven't changed very much, if at all, in the past nearly 25 years since he started using them.
Rob gets home from school, sees the book on the dining room table, and figures things out before Stan even shows him the packet.
"Ashley and I have been together for six months straight, and we've dated beforehand! She's great. We're very careful and very safe." Despite the fact that Stan wants to smack Rob upside the head repeatedly for having sex in his teens, he's also proud that his son is handling himself with confidence and maturity. Rob ends his speech with, "Please don't tell Daddy!"
Stan takes his reading glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Okay, fine. This will be our little secret, considering Daddy's cholesterol has been sky high as of late. We don't need to pay for medical bills and two boys in college, right?"
"Thank you," Rob sighs, hugging his dad.
Stan hands him the wrapper and just as he's halfway up the stairs, Stan calls, "Rob?"
"Yeah, Dad?"
"Ryan's not…" he trails off. "Nah, never mind."
Rob disappears into his room, sighing in relief. If Dad or Daddy ever find out that Ryan lost his at 13, Ryan's ass would be kicked into kingdom come.
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