Title: A Lifetime of Style

Disclaimer: I do not "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea.

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Chapter 28: Birthday-versary

It isn't until their sons graduate college and enter the real world that Stan and Kyle grasp the concept of the term "empty nester." Rob's been living in New York for the past three years working as a financial analyst in Cartman's company. Ryan is attending med school in Baltimore and selects Houston to fulfill his residency requirement.

Rob calls daily and Skypes weekly. Ryan calls once or twice a week and Skypes monthly.

Stan and Kyle decide to combine their birthdays and their 25th wedding anniversary into one "Birthday-versary" party. They pick a weekend in July, figuring it's a decent halfway point between their birthdays and invite everyone.

The morning of the party, Kyle stands shirtless looking at himself in the mirror, realizing how old he's getting and how chubby he's getting in the places that Stan hasn't. Stan walks in, hugs Kyle from behind, and places seductive kisses all over. "Mmm, morning handsome," he purrs into Kyle's ear.

Kyle sighs.

"Something wrong, Kye?"

"I should start working out," Kyle sighs.

Stan lets out a sarcastic chuckle. "Dr. Robinson's been telling you that for the past ten years, dude. I don't see why you'd start listening now."

"I think these," Kyle pinches the flab on his sides, "are convincing me."

"Aww," Stan says, kissing Kyle on the cheek. "I love your little love handles."

"Shut up. You're just saying that to make me feel better about being an old man."

"Kyle," Stan says firmly, "we're both getting old. We're in our 50s for God's sake!"

It's a great party. Ryan and Rob make it and bring their girlfriends, Elise and Victoria, respectively. The neighbors, Stan's associates, Kyle's work buddies, as well as Kenny, Cartman, Butters, Charlotte, Token, Clyde, Shelly, and Connor all attend. Gerald and Sheila stay home, claiming to be too old. However, they send a card and a truckload of money.

The party ends around 1 AM. Ryan, Rob, Elise, Victoria, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters all volunteer to spend the night and help clean up. When Ryan is sure Elise is asleep, he goes over to Stan and Kyle, who are entangled on the living room couch.

"Hey, guys?"

"Yeah, what's up, Ry?" Kyle asks his son.

"Well, Elise and I have been together since the first year of med school, and I really love her…"

"I think I know where this is going," Stan cuts him off.

"Yeah. I'm going to propose to Elise tomorrow night."

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