Hi Everyone!

Here's the new chapter, I hope you like it.

Warning: there's an original song in this. I used to write songs for a band when I was younger but let's face it, it was about 8 years ago and I never tried it in English before. So it's most likely horrible and I'm sorry for that.

Blaine moaned miserably as he turned to his side, taking a deep breath to calm his stomach. He had gotten drunk, again. He hadn't planned it, he had just wanted a nice night alone, enjoying his few days off between his shows. But then he had gone to that club and had gotten lost in his drinks.

Things couldn't have gone worse around him. He had thought that his tour would help him move on and get Kurt out of his head but it hadn't made anything better. He struggled with his performances, he hated every one of them and only wanted to get over them. His fans noticed the change in his behaviour, of course, and so did the press. Everyone wanted to know what had happened to him and they came up with wild theories about him and Kurt. Since they hadn't showed up together for months, people had found out that Kurt was out of the picture. They started asking questions about the baby and Blaine never took it well. One day he had almost hit a reporter when he had asked Blaine about their break up and who would get the baby after its birth.

He had no idea how to get out of this crap. The only thing that seemed to help, at least temporarily, was the alcohol. He drank way too much and he knew that he slowly destroyed himself, but he didn't care at all. His life was already over, he could give up now and not bother himself with his stupid work anymore.

He turned to his back and opened his eyes slowly. He had had a cruel nightmare again where he had been with Kurt and a beautiful baby girl, together happily. Until a person whose face he couldn't see had stepped between them and had torn Kurt and the baby from him and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He had had dreams like this before and he had told Sebastian about them. The man had thought that Blaine must have been right, feeling that something wasn't right with the way Kurt had left him. But maybe it was just Blaine's imagination trying to make things better in his mind. It was hard to imagine that Kurt had hurt him so badly, that he was capable of such cruelty. But he surely was because he hadn't called him since then, hadn't even texted him once. As if Blaine had died in Kurt's eyes and he didn't care anymore.

There was a loud bang on his door and Blaine groaned, hoping that they would go away and let him rest some more. He could use some more sleep and then maybe go back to that club. The bartender had been nice to him the previous night, maybe he could try to befriend himself with the guy. He hadn't been with anyone since Kurt and it had been so long... Maybe a good fuck would make things better.

Another knock on his door snapped Blaine out of his thoughts again and he swore quietly as he got up from the bed, taking uncertain steps towards the door. He had some trouble with the lock but in the end, he managed to open the door.

He sighed in frustration when he found Sebastian standing in front of him, with two paper cups of coffee in his hands.

"Morning, sunshine" Sebastian winked and pushed Blaine back into the apartment, so he could step inside. "I see you spent the night in the club. Again."

"Leave me alone, Sebastian" Blaine said.

"I can't do that. You have two more days left before your next concert and I have to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Or at least something stupider than this" Sebastian corrected himself.

"I'm fine" Blaine said.

"Do you know when you would be fine? If you talked to Kurt" Sebastian said.

"Kurt doesn't want to talk to me" Blaine said. "And I don't even know where he is, so..."

"What if I say I know where he is?" Sebastian asked.

Blaine blinked in surprise. He hadn't heard anything from Kurt for months and now Sebastian wanted to tell him that he knew where the boy was?

"It doesn't matter" Blaine said quickly. "He wants me to leave him alone, so that's what I will do."

"Okay, let's try it again" Sebastian sighed. "I know where Kurt is. I hired a private detective and he found him. All you have to do is get into my car and let me bring you there."

"You're crazy" Blaine shook his head. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm trying to help you" Sebastian said.

"I don't need your help!" Blaine shouted. "He left me. He aborted our baby and disappeared without trace. That tells me that he doesn't want to be found, so get out of my life and leave me alone. I don't want to talk to him."

"That's not true" Sebastian said.

"It is" Blaine said. "Leave."

"What?" Sebastian asked.

"I said leave" Blaine repeated slowly. "I don't want to see you either. Get the hell out of my apartment."

Sebastian sighed but didn't say anything. He nodded and walked to the door, hesitating for a second before turning back to Blaine.

"You still love him" he said. "And I know you can make things better between you two again. You only have to try."

"I don't..." Blaine started but Sebastian slammed the door into his face before he could finish his sentence. He sighed and shook his head, taking a coffee from the table. He knew that he was an asshole but he couldn't help it. With Kurt, a part of his heart was gone, too. And he wasn't sure he would survive it.

~ o ~

Since his talk with Sebastian, Blaine couldn't get Kurt out of his head. Not that he couldn't do it before but now everything seemed to go around him. Blaine couldn't focus on anything but Kurt, he seemed to see him everywhere and even his dreams were all about Kurt. Maybe he was going crazy. He finally reached the point where he recognized his true feelings and there was no going back. He would break down soon and there was no coming back from there.

He spent his remaining days in the studio, working on a new song. It wasn't the best time for that but that stupid melody had found him one night and he couldn't get it out of his head. So he locked himself up in the studio and tried to finish the song. He wanted to play it on his next concert, share his feelings with his faithful fans. Maybe it would show them how Blaine felt and help them understand what he went through. Make a connection between them.

He got so lost in the song that he almost missed his flight to Ohio. He had two concerts there, one of them in Westerville, the town where he had grown up. Since both he and Kurt came from Ohio, it was the best place to play his new song the first time. That place meant so much for them, it just had to be that way. Blaine hoped somewhere deep inside that Kurt would be there to see him, too. Maybe he had moved back there and had heard about Blaine's concert and decided to see him again...

No, Blaine told himself. Kurt didn't want anything from him, he didn't want to see him anymore, so he surely wouldn't be there. He shouldn't think about him right now because it would make him sad again and he wanted this concert to be a success. His fans deserved the best.

After two busy days in Westerville, Blaine found himself on the stage with hundreds of people around him. He tried to seem happy as he started playing, giving something back in return for all the support he had gotten from his fans. It was amazing how much they loved him, even if Blaine didn't deserve that at all.

He needed some time to notice that there were a few old friends in the first rows, dancing and singing with Blaine through all his songs. It was good to see them again and Blaine hoped that they would have a chance to talk after the concert. He hadn't seen the guys for years and he missed them so much. He wanted to know everything about them.

He also noticed that Sebastian was there, too, causing him a lot of surprise. Sebastian didn't really like Blaine's music, it always made him wonder how they had become friends when they were so different. But for some reason, Sebastian was here, maybe he had come to see his friends, too. Blaine didn't mind at all, he had to apologise anyway since he had been an asshole again, it was better this way.

After about an hour, Blaine finally reached the point he had been waiting for. His new song... The one that came straight from his heart, that included everything that was important for him. He took a deep breath and grabbed the microphone.

"Uhm... I think you all know that there've been some huge changes in my life in the last few months. Only some of you know the truth and I want to keep it that way but I think you all deserve to know what's going on in my head and heart" Blaine said slowly. "So I have a new song for you!"

He smiled as the crowd screamed and clapped around him.

"This is a very special song" Blaine continued. "It's called Little Secret and I would like to dedicate it to the man who stole my heart, Kurt Hummel. I... I didn't really treat him the way he deserved. I made mistakes and now... Okay, I will stop stuttering and let the song talk."

Blaine smiled as he looked at Sebastian briefly who raised an eyebrow, seemingly hoping that Blaine didn't want to do anything stupid. Of course he thought that Blaine wanted to do something stupid. He had told Sebastian so many times that he hated Kurt for what he had done but it wasn't true. He still loved him and he knew that he would always feel that way.

When I first saw you,

my heart skipped a beat

Because I knew that second

that we were meant

To be together

Forever

Your bright blue eyes

cut straight into my soul

And I felt for the first time

that I wasn't alone

You knew my fears

and you wipped them away

I got lost in the dark

but you showed me the right way

Back into the light

Into love

You took my hands and led me through the path

You were there for me no matter what

You made me feel alive again

My sweet little secret

I love you so much

My little secret

I miss you so much

Blaine had to stop for a second to clear his eyes from the tears that escaped during the song, no matter how hard he tried to hold them back. It was just too much for him. He relived his memories with Kurt, everything they had gone through and it hurt so much.

You made me complete

you made me feel loved

Every day I spent with you

was sunny and bright

Just like your eyes

Your eyes

And then you gave me

what I yearned the most

A dream of a family...

A dream that I lost

Suddenly

Oh, so suddenly...

You took my hands and led me through the path

You were there for me no matter what

You made me feel alive again

My sweet little secret

I love you so much

My little secret

I miss you so much

Blaine's hands were shaking so badly that he almost dropped his guitar. It was such a bad idea presenting his song for so many people when he knew very well how it would end.

Since you're gone

time seems to stop

Since you aren't here with me

I'm lost in the dark

I fooled myself

and everyone around me

But the truth is

without you, I can't live

The surface seems fine

but I'm dying inside

Noone else can heal

My broken heart

You took my hands and led me through the path

You were there for me no matter what

You made me feel alive again

My sweet little secret

I love you so much

My little secret

I miss you so much

My sweet little secret

Come back to me

Give me a chance

Let me turn this right

"Come back to me, Kurt" Blaine whispered, so lost in his own song that he forgot where he was.

After a while, he looked up, his eyes finding a few stunned faces. The room was completely silent for a few more seconds before the first few people started clapping and shouting their best wishes. Blaine bowed awkwardly, somewhat ashamed for sharing his deepest secret with so many people. But on the other hand, he felt so much better. For the first time since months, he felt somewhat relieved. He could finally talk about his emotions and it was a lot better than hiding his pain from everyone.

"Uhm... Thank you, guys" Blaine said quietly and with a quick decision, he left the stage. There were a few more songs planned but he couldn't play more. He needed to be alone, he had to cry and oh, God. He had to see Kurt again.

He burst into his dressing room and slammed the door shut behind him, sinking onto his knees in the next second. Why did he try to fool himself anyway? It wasn't true that he didn't want to see Kurt again. He missed him so much and wanted him back, even if Kurt had gotten an abortion and they had lost their child. Kurt had had a good reason to do so, Blaine had known exactly why he had left him. He knew how to make everything better between them and Sebastian gave him a chance to meet the boy again. So why couldn't he do it before? What was he waiting for?

It wasn't like Kurt would come to him. He had had months to come back but he hadn't, so it was Blaine's turn to do something. He was running out of time, with every single second, his chances to get Kurt back worsened. He had to do something, immediately.

He was about to get back onto the stage to find Sebastian when the door opened again and his smiling friend stepped inside.

"What a security team you have here" Sebastian said. "It took me about two whole minutes to get through them."

"Sebastian!" Blaine said in relief, throwing his arms around the man.

"Uhm... What are you doing?" Sebastian asked, gently pushing Blaine back. He so didn't like when people touched him.

"I'm sorry. I was an ass and you were right" Blaine said. "I should have accepted your help. I want Kurt back and..."

"I know, I know" Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You took your time but I'm glad you finally came to your senses."

"So you know where he is?" Blaine asked.

"Yes" Sebastian nodded. "It wasn't easy to find him but I hired a great private detective and with some help from Kurt's friends, he was able to find him."

"I-I should go back to New York" Blaine said. "I have to meet him, as soon as possible."

"Then you should stay here" Sebastian smiled.

"What?" Blaine frowned.

"Kurt's in Lima" Sebastian answered.

"His dad. Of course" Blaine sighed.

"You should figure out how to do this because what I heard about that man, he's very protective about his son. It was all his fault it took us so long to find Kurt" Sebastian said.

Blaine took a deep breath, nodding slowly. He would probably have to deal with Burt Hummel, too, but he had to be brave. If he wanted Kurt back, he had to go through this.

~ o ~

The days passed so slowly since he had moved back to his dad. Two months. 63 days exactly. And nothing seemed to be better. When he had showed up on his father's doorstep, soaked from the cold rain and crying his heart out, his father had pulled him into his arms and told him that it would go better. Well, he was wrong.

The last two months Kurt had spent in his old room, thinking about his decision. It wasn't like he had had a choice. Those men had stayed with him as he had written the letter for Blaine and then packed his things, making sure Kurt hadn't tried to do anything. When he had left their home, he had known that there was no going back. He only could be safe if he left Blaine for forever, no matter how badly it had made him feel.

It was even harder when after two days, everyone had started calling him. It hadn't been just Blaine anymore who had sent hundreds of desperate text messages and tried to call him in every two minutes, Rachel and Santana had done the same, seemingly worried for their missing friend and there had been Sebastian, too. Kurt had learnt from his father that they had sent a private detective after him as well and Burt had had some trouble sending the man away without answers. Kurt knew that he had hurt everyone he loved but it was the only way to keep himself away from Blaine. He had to shut out everybody else from his old life, that was the only way to go through this.

He usually spent his time lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes his dad came to talk to him, he tried to get Kurt talk about how he had ended up at home and what had happened between him and Blaine. But Kurt never talked. He barely said anything actually, only when he absolutely needed to talk.

Every single evening, he opened his laptop and went through the news about Blaine. He had hoped that the man would move on and find his happiness with someone else. Okay, that wasn't completely true. He wanted Blaine to be happy but he didn't want him to be with someone else. He wanted Blaine for himself. He still loved him, with all of his heart, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to survive if Blaine found somebody else.

Every night when he went through the news, he felt relieved that at least for a while, Blaine stayed single. He didn't seem to be interested in dating anyone and it sometimes made Kurt hope that maybe someday, he would be able to get Blaine back. It was a stupid thought because Blaine would surely not believe him and he most likely hated Kurt for leaving him like that. Blaine didn't know the truth, of course, and that letter had surely hurt him badly.

That day, Kurt decided to read the news in the morning, too. Blaine had gotten into so many scandals lately, and he was on tour again, there had to be something bad again. It broke Kurt's heart how horrible Blaine looked on those pictures. He turned to alcohol again and Kurt knew very well how badly Blaine acted when he was drunk. Kurt was afraid that he would do something stupid again, maybe hurt himself, too. He had to know if Blaine was alright.

He blinked in surprise when instead of a short report about the concert, he found dozens of articles.

"Oh, Blaine. What have you done again?" Kurt whispered.

He clinked onto the first link and sighed when he saw the picture of Blaine. He looked so heartbroken, so upset... Kurt had to blink back his tears as he looked at the photos of his ex-boyfriend. Blaine had been so excited and happy when they had been together and now... he was just the shadow of himself. A broken man who slowly destroyed himself.

Kurt sighed sadly as he looked down at the text, knowing that he wouldn't like what was written in there. As he went through the text first, his eyes slowly widened. It was about Blaine's last concert but not too much about the event itself but a song. A new song Blaine had written for that occasion, dedicated for... Kurt. It was written for him. Kurt went through the text twice before finally believing that it was true.

His hand was shaking as he clicked again, opening the video of Blaine's performance. It would hurt for sure but he had to know... He needed proof that Blaine still loved him.

His tears finally escaped his eyes as the slow, heartbreaking melody filled his ears. It wasn't like the firs song Blaine had written for him. That one had been about joy, the best moments of love but this one... He could feel Blaine in every single word. And the way Blaine looked on the screen...

"I miss you, too" Kurt cried as he quickly slammed his laptop closed, unable to watch it again. He wanted to, he wanted to listen to that song so badly but his heart was already broken and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to bear the pain this song caused for him. Blaine suffered because of him. He wasn't fine at all. He wasn't feeling better the slightest, and it was all Kurt's fault.

He was on his way to the kitchen the get a glass of water when the doorbell rang. He looked around, frowning. Noone else was at home and people usually searched for his father in his shop at this time of the day. Who could it be then?

He took a few deep breaths and dried his face. He shouldn't meet anyone in this state. Sure, he always looked awful but mostly it was because of his condition, he didn't want to look any worse.

When he was ready, he slowly walked to the door and opened it, forcing out a small smile. His eyes landed on a tall man, his familiar face and Kurt froze, his smile dropping immediately.

"Hey, Kurt. It's good to see you again" Sebastian said and stepped aside.

To Kurt's shock, Sebastian wasn't his only visitor that day. Kurt didn't even have to see his face to recognize him. His dark curls, the ashen skin... Then the hazel eyes that used to be so full of life but now... Kurt didn't even know what Blaine thought about him. He seemed just as shocked as Kurt. Maybe scared, too. For a brief moment, Kurt could see a happy smile forming on his lips, too, but then Blaine's eyes wandered down from his face and landed right on his now round stomach.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered uncertainly and put a hand on his baby bump.

"I... Y-you..." Blaine stuttered, his face turning so pale that Kurt was scared that he would faint.

"Blaine, I..."

"Oh, God" Blaine said as he grabbed Sebastian's shirt for support. "You're here. You're here and you're..."

Blaine raised his shaky hand to touch Kurt's baby bump but pulled back in a blink.

"How is it possible?" he asked.

Kurt looked from one man to the other, unable to say a thing. It was too much. He wasn't prepared for this at all. He had thought that he had lost Blaine for forever and there was no chance for them to meet again. But Blaine was here and he wanted answers.

And he had no idea what to tell him.