[ Salty Foods Taste Best When You're Happy! ]

In her delicate yet strong hands was a sadistic bastard looking back at her with half-lidded eyes, and around his mouth—a thin ring of the popsicle juice she just ate."


Kagura lay there in utter disbelief. What the hell was this? Some sick dream? A practical joke? She shut her eyes and pleaded to herself to wake the fuck up. Her hopes were dashed when she heard a low, groggy moan with an all-too-familiar voice. Okita Sougo, prince of sadists and her ultimate annoyance, lay above her in a half-conscious state. Her eyes snapped open as she kicked the him off her with incredible force. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" she screamed as she crawled back. Flashes of the recent events ran through her head:

The refreshingly sour taste of her popsicle.

A loud scream.

A hard smack in the face.

Waking up.

Seeing him.

With popsicle juice on his lips.

HER popsicle juice.

On HIS lips.

Kagura lay there in a catatonic state for what seemed like hours as her young mind began connecting all the dots.

xxx

Sougo regained consciousness for the second time this afternoon, nursing his head and mumbling incoherently. Great, he was bleeding. Glancing around, the sandy-haired teen found himself sprawled on the remnants of his favorite park bench. The structure was completely shattered, much like the broken concrete below him. Across the plaza he could see a familiar red spot. Was that the blood getting in his eyes? No, he focused in on the object and saw it - that damned China girl. Whatever happened had a 99% chance of being her fault.

"The hell was that for?" He questioned while staggering to his feet. When she didn't answer, he walked closer and asked again.

"You got dog shit in your ears, huh brat? I want to know why you threw me across the goddamn park!" Seconds passed as he aggressively nudged her leg with the toe his boot. Kagura was sitting slouched and lifeless on the pale concrete.

"...et...ay...om…me…" Kagura murmured under her breath.

"What? Danna didn't even teach you how to use words?" Sougo inquired, thankful for some kind of reaction.

"I SAID: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" yelled Kagura as she reached for her nearby parasol. Before Sougo could respond, she began blindly spraying bullets across the park plaza.

The policeman instinctively lunged back and unsheathed his katana. He effortlessly deflected each one of the bullets until he glanced up and caught a glimpse of the rampaging girl's beet red face. A scathing pang traveled across his right shoulder. Momentarily distracted, Sougo flinched as he was grazed by a stray bullet.

"Shit, " he grumbled while bracing the wound with his left hand and continuing to block the bullets with his right.

Seconds later the relentless onslaught of bullets ceased. Sougo relaxed from his fighting stance but was still cautious as he eyed the loose red cannon. He kept silent, in fear of facing another hail of umbrella shots.

Finally Kagura began climbing to her feet, her head slowly starting to rise. What Sougo saw next would be permanently engrained in his sadistic mind for as long as he lived. There stood China, her cheeks the same color as her cheongsam, sweat dripping from her brow, and her cerulean blue eyes pooling with water.

xxx

As the dust began to settle, Kagura fought back the tears welling up inside. She had never been one to cry, especially now in front of that heartless bastard.

"Give it b-back," she said. Her voice was quivering from a tornado of emotions: fear, anger, embarrassment, and disbelief.

Sougo was still trying to piece together his recent misfortunes and did not understand in the slightest what she meant.

"What?"

"T-that k-k-kiss... Give it back." She mumbled in a voice barely audible.

"Huh? I can't understand what you're saying, illegal alien, I only speak Japanese. Whatever China, this is getting weird, even for you."

"STOP MAKING ME REPEAT MYSELF, KONO YARO [1]! IT'S EMBARASSING!" Kagura yelled as her cheeks burned in embarrassment. "I said give me back that…" she hesitated and clenched her eyes shut, forcing out the last part of her involuntary word vomit, "t-that kiss."

Silence.

Still tense from that most embarrassing request, she popped one eye open and looked at the sandy-haired sadist. He stood there staring in his usual deadpan manner, as if she had just asked him the time. Somewhat relaxed by his casual response (or lack thereof), Kagura loosened her body and faced Sougo.

Kagura laughed nervously, "What? Now you forgot how to use your words?"

Her thoughts were spiraling out of control from his silence.

'Why isn't he saying ANYTHING?! What the hell is this shit-head thinking?!

KUSO[2]- is he so disgusted that he's frozen in fear? W-wait a minute, why am I getting so self-conscious all of a sudden? Kagura, you're getting too out of character! It's that charming lack of feminism that makes you such a great heroine, yup! Keep it up and you'll be replaced by that ugly ass nekomimi[3] downstairs!' Kagura tried desperately to regain her irrational confidence.

'But wait—Anego[4] explained how precious a maiden's first kiss is. I-it's a symbol of intimacy, maturity, and… a-affliction? Shit, that's not the word.' Kagura stalled when she remembered that, masked by Otae's fancy vocabulary, was just another word for love.

'Intimacy, maturity, and l-love…'

Well god knows neither of them possesses all of those abilities, especially for each other.

"FUCK, THIS IS TURNING INTO SOME SHOUJO SHIT, AHUH!" she blurted out in frustration. Tired, dirty, and pissed as hell, Kagura just wanted to crawl back into her closet and sleep away her memories of today.

xxx

Meanwhile Sougo stirred from his staid position. It didn't take long for him to realize what was going on, but it was his response that took him a while to sort out. Throughout the years, he has mastered the art of trolling around with an languid expression. So why was his disguise suddenly faltering? Surely he had never seen the infamous Yorozuya yato cry before, shit, he didn't think it was possible. Were her tears washing away at his façade? Whatever the case, he needed to pull himself together. It was disturbing enough seeing her so vulnerable, having him seem weak would surely get the show canceled.

Suddenly he smirked.

"What's wrong China? It's just a little kiss," he cooed. "Surely one of the universe's strongest wouldn't be affected by something so…insignificant." He was mercilessly goading her for a response; with each word his sadistic level rose a little more. "Well this is just embarrassing. I never knew you were this pathetic. Had I known, I would've gone easy on you during our fights."

Sougo glared at her mockingly, "Or what? Was it so good that you're now at a loss for words?"

"Pfftt… In your dreams, yup!" Kagura finally responded. "I was just recovering from a d-disease, yeah, disease! You're k-kiss probably transferred a mayo virus from hanging around Mayora all day."

"I've never heard of a mayo virus before, must be a recent outbreak huh? Just admit that you've fallen victim to my charm and this will be over. Face it China, I won."

"No, it really was a disease!" she pleaded. "It's called m-mayorrhea. What, you really don't know about it? You must be dumber than I thought." Her emotions began to cool once she got into the rhythm of their usual bickering.

"Trust me, I'm not the dumb one in this situation." Sougo responded dryly, "and it's ok if you don't verbally admit defeat, because I know I won. The universe knows I won. I won, and you lost China." He gracefully rotated so that his back was towards the flustered girl.

Sougo then nonchalantly turned his head and licked his lips.

"Mmm… salty."


[1] Kono yaro: You bastard!

[2] Kuso: Shit!

[3] Nekomimi: Cat-girl (in this case, Catherine)

[4] Anego: Respectful term for elder sister

My god, I am sorry for the delayed upload and the crappy chapter! Work has been stressful and has kept me so busy :( Usually the only times I can work on my stories are when my boss goes on his lunchbreak, haha. I really will try to write more and actually DEVELOP THE STORY. I know it seems like this story isn't really going anywhere but I have a plan for it in my head! So please, stick around for a little longer :)

Any comments or reviews are greatly appreciated, no matter how brutal and/or honest.