Wow, sorry for the delay. I would have uploaded last week, but for some reason could not get FF to respond, nor could I get tech support to e-mail me back. Xo
I'm pulled out of my slumber by the shouting voices that originate from downstairs. In a frenzy, I throw the covers off me and run towards them.
" - Just trying to get some fresh air," Sasuke says calmly.
"And I told you that's not going to happen!" a soldier responds aggressively. I stand beside Sasuke, a group of guards blocking the door to the backyard in front of us.
"What's going on?"
"The prisoner is under the delusion he can go out whenever he pleases," the same woman says.
"All I want to do is sit outside for a bit," Sasuke is starting to sound somewhat exasperated, "The yard is fenced in."
"So what's the problem?" I say, "It would be healthy for him to get some sun. Tsunade-sama can't expect both of us to stay inside this house all the time. I realize we're not meant to leave the compound but what's the harm in sitting outside?"
"The Hokage was very clear in her instructions," a man steps forward, mouth pulled in a thin line, brows furrowed, as he towers over me. I glare at him stubbornly.
"Well, I'd like to speak to her," I challenge.
"The Hokage has requested that you voice all concerns in your reports that will then be passed on to her," the guard gives me a grin that feels somewhat condescending.
"I demand to speak to the Hokage!" I raise my voice.
"As I said, the Hokage was very - "
I cut the man off by grabbing the collar of his shirt and thrusting him against the nearest wall. Instantly there are knives pointed in my direction and hands around my arms trying to pry me off.
"I will speak to her, face to face, or she will no longer have my unyielding cooperation throughout this trial!" It's an empty threat, but it's the only thing I can come up with. Truthfully, with the sedative, they have just that more power over me, and him. The others pull me away from the guard. I shuck them off, "Tell her I will speak to her by the end of today!"
With whatever shred of dignity I have left, I turn on my heel and stalk off. I trudge upstairs and return to my room. I seat myself on the bed, quietly fuming. Sasuke walks in with a hardened expression.
"What?" I snap, at first thinking that it may be too harshly.
"You didn't have to do that," his brows are furrowed, his tone severe, "I don't need your help, I'm not a child! And I don't need your pity!"
His eyes are focused on mine. I grimace, anger bubbling beneath my skin.
"What's the matter? Did I emasculate you?" I ask with biting sarcasm and stand so that I'm - almost - at his level, "You know you aren't the only one affected by this situation! Believe it or not, I actually had a life before this, one that didn't revolve around you and every little fucking thing you do!" We stare each other down for a moment, "I had patients in that hospital that depended on me, I had a routine; now I can't see them, I can't see my mom, I can't do fucking anything! I should have just left you there to die!"
He is rigid, his gaze resolute. I drop my head in my hands and take a deep breath.
I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that.
I take another. Then another. And one more for good measure. When I bring my head up, Sasuke is gone.
It's well into the afternoon, most of the day having been spent alone in my room, when I hear another commotion arise. I descend the stairs just in time to see Tsunade throw open the door all in a flurry of rage and irritation.
"Where is she?!" she addresses the guards, then looks up when one of the steps creaks as I put my weight on it, "Outside, now!"
I follow her outside, not bothering with my shoes. We step down from the deck and the feel of dirt beneath my bare feet is like heaven. The sun is shining over me, the birds are singing around me and everything falls back into place; time starts, and the world turns.
"You have ten minutes," she says curtly.
"You can't expect us to sit inside this house for months on end just twiddling our thumbs while you and your council decide his fate. It's torture! I might end up killing him myself!" I fire off, everything bubbling to the surface, desperate to be heard. I try to reel myself in, "And it's unhealthy! You are depriving a patient - "
"He's a prisoner, Sakura," she says bitterly, "A murderer. Why does he deserve any mercy?"
"Because he's still a person," my voice is sharp and clear as the memory of Sasuke's broken features and tattered form burn sharply in the back of my mind. A feeling of guilt sweeps over me, but I stuff it down; he was still a complete jerk earlier.
Tsunade sighs.
"Why are you doing this? You're causing me more problems than the criminal!"
I cross my arms over my chest, trying to appear defiant.
"Look, I'm not asking to parade him around the village, I just think it would be healthy for both of us to be able to sit outside for a few hours a day, walk around the backyard, maybe eventually the compound," I shrug, though I don't mean to denounce the importance of this topic, "Plus, it might make him more receptive and cooperative in this situation if he's given at least some basic liberties."
"What makes you think it will stop there?"
"I - I don't - " her question catches me slightly off guard, but causes a thought to rise; what if I'm underestimating him? Is he planning another escape?
"He's not a pet Sakura, he can't be conditioned with rewards and punishments."
"I know," I reply, feeling meek and powerless before her once more; like a child reasoning for more playtime before bed. Her eyes hold an empathetic pity and I wonder how many times she had to tell herself that, remind herself that she could afford no more mercy, "I just thought it would - I don't know - maybe ease the transition for both of us."
We are silent for a few moments and I can't bring myself to look at her. I feel dejected, at a complete lack of control for everything in my life. I want my routine back. I want to wake up in my cozy little apartment, go to work, see Kuro-san, attend to my other patients, maybe even stitch Naruto up when he's been a dumbass, go have dinner with the crew on the occasion we can get everyone in one place at the same time, chastise Ino for not respecting personal boundaries, go have tea with my mother, gossip about her neighbors, and then go home to do it all over again. I don't realize I'm crying until Tsunade pulls me into a tight hug.
I cry softly, silently, shaking.
"I know it's difficult, Sakura, and I really appreciate you taking this task on, even if I didn't really give you a choice," she pauses, then pulls away but keeps a hand on my shoulder, "You can have two hours per day, but I want at least fifteen guards monitoring him when he's outside, including you!" she starts shaking a finger at me, "And no more bothering me everyday! If you want anything from here on, you include it in your daily report and I will get back to you when I can," she looks stern, but there's a twinkle of mischief in her eyes as she adds, "And no more torturing the guards."
"Thank you," I exhale with relief, wiping the tears away, ashamed. She starts to turn towards the guards, but I stop her, "If I could just ask for one more favor?"
"You're kidding," her expression suggests I should be.
"I need you to send Naruto over as soon as he's back," I see her about to argue, but I cut her off, "He has a right to know," I pause, thinking of the note I was going to send, "And I could really use the support. I can't do this without him."
"Fine," her face is impassive.
"And Kakashi."
"He'll be gone for at least another month, but I'll be sure to inform him," she seems more receptive to letting Kakashi know and I can only think it's because he's far less reckless when it comes to Sasuke than Naruto and I are.
"Thank you," I bow deeply.
It's a relief to know that I won't be alone for much longer.
