Okay so, little surprise, this switches between Sakura's POV and Sasuke's POV, but you probably figured that out on your own. Future chapters will most likely be assigned only to one person but will switch between Sasuke and Sakura.
"Naruto!" I run at him and tackle him with such a force that we're knocked off our feet. He hugs me tight, but his muscles are stiff, coiled like a spring. His features are laden with grief and anxiety. For once in his life, and the one time I don't want him to be, he's silent. His eyes stray from mine up the steps of the deck to the front door flung wide open, up to the windows of the second story whose blinds are shut tight. I pull us up, "Come on."
"Okay," his hand grips mine and I can feel him shake as we step over the threshold. I lead Naruto upstairs and to the left.
"Could you give us the room?" The guard nods his assent and steps out. Naruto follows me inside and Sasuke manages to pull himself up to a sitting position. For a moment we stand in thick silence, huddled near his bedside. Sasuke watches Naruto almost expectantly. I don't know if he's waiting for some familiar spark of energy or for an outburst of considerably warranted anger. Regardless, I feel out of place, like a third party witnessing an intimate, albeit still, reunion.
"Sasuke," it's Naruto who speaks first. He approaches, wary, and reaches gingerly for Sasuke's shoulder. Tears fall as he makes contact as if Naruto thought he might not be real, just another false hope. Sasuke's hand extends to clasp Naruto's bicep in acknowledgement. Naruto smiles, tears streaming freely, with such bittersweet love and respect present in his gaze. As Naruto brings Sasuke into a hug, I realize that Sasuke's eyes reflect much of the same. He missed Naruto.
"Dobe."
Naruto barks out a choked laugh as he releases Sasuke, but he keeps his hand on Sasuke's shoulder.
"Teme."
"You guys are idiots," I cover my face as I start to shake. The tears are on the verge of spilling over but I rub them away. Naruto pulls me to the bed so I'm kneeling alongside them. I lean into Naruto, desperate for his strength. I avert my eyes and breathe deeply until I feel like I've gained some sense of control. None of us speak, though we make no move to leave each other.
"This is so weird," Naruto's laugh is dark and disbelieving, finally breaking the silence. "Does it feel weird to you? Does it feel weird to be back?"
Sasuke's eyes flick briefly to me before he takes a breath and admits,
"Yes."
We fall silent again, and this time there's a certain discomfort to it.
"What happened to you?" Naruto's words are firm, but not as though he's chastising him.
Again Sasuke looks at me and this time I see the wariness of his gaze. He doesn't trust me. I clear my throat, still thick with emotion.
"I have to go write my report to Tsunade-sama," I move off the bed and Naruto grabs my hand.
"No, Sakura-chan, stay," he pleads. He's added the honorific to persuade me, "When was the last time we were all together like this?"
"I won't take long, I promise," I smile at him, silently urging him to let me go, "Besides I'm sure you have guy stuff to talk about."
Naruto reluctantly releases me, watching me as I go. He's completely aware that my lame attempt at leaving on a lighter note was only to cover how badly I needed to get away. So, I slip back into my room, feeling jilted.
Naruto's concern is apparent as he watches Sakura exit, but I only feel a surge of relief when she closes the door. I'm glad she took the hint. Naruto turns back to me and in an instant he's grinning.
"It's incredible - I can't believe you're here," he shoves my shoulder. I try not to wince but the pain is still there, a constant reminder of where I am and why, "Sorry, I'm just really - " he struggles for a word.
"Careless?" I smirk, "Stupid? Senseless?"
"I see you haven't changed either," he laughs. It's hard for me to believe that this boy I grew up with is in line to be Hokage. Especially since he still has the same laugh and infantile face. He regains his composure, shaking his head with a smile, "You know I got married."
"I heard," I lean back against the wall, the cut throbbing because I've sat upright so long.
"It would have been nice to have you there," there's a disconnect between the levity of his voice and the weight of his words.
"I had other plans," I say, noncommittally. I thought it might be easier with only Naruto to speak to, but being faced with the possibility I realize I'm not willing to say anything else. "Why wasn't it Sakura?"
"Huh?"
"Why didn't you marry Sakura?" I ask, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
"That never would have worked," he's laughing again and once more, for the millionth time in my life, I'm wondering how he does it. How is he so happy? How can he carry all of that pain and isolation and still laugh like that? "Teme, half the time she's mad at me or arguing with me about something I've done. We're too stubborn for each other. Plus, she's like a sister to me."
"She wasn't when - " I break off before I say 'when I left.' "She wasn't before."
"A lot changed," his voice is somber, "After you left, I left. I was gone for two years. She was a different person when I came back. Well, she still liked to hit me, I doubt that will ever change. But, I don't think I realized how dependent she was on the security of our team. Even Kakashi was absent for a while. She had a hard time coping."
"Poor her," I can't keep the bite out of my words. Naruto narrows his eyes at me.
"You know she may not have had to deal with some of the shit we did, but she had her own demons to take care of. She deserves respect, Kami knows she's worked her ass off to get where she is today."
"Cry me a fucking river," I snap, "She's never been anything but a pain in my ass."
Naruto's temper flares as he glares at me.
"What did she ever do to you?"
"She dragged me back to this hell," my tone is level now as we stare each other down.
"All she ever wanted was for us to be a team - "
"It's her fault I'm back in this house! I swore I would never come back! Every minute I am in here I see their faces, I see the blood - " I close my eyes and breathe deep. I feel it coursing through my veins, spreading like venom. I have to calm down. I can't -
"What happened to you?" Naruto moves off the bed, looking at me like we've never met, "What did you do?"
He saw the Mangekyō.
"What do you think?" I sneer.
"I heard shouting are you - " I stop dead in the doorway as Sasuke's eyes turn on me. A shudder runs up my spine when I realize what stage his Sharingan's progressed to, panic settles in. I shut the door and rush over to him, "Sasuke, what is it? Are you hurt?"
I run my hands over his forehead and chest, running a diagnostic check-up with my chakra. Aside from the heat radiating off his skin, he seems well; especially when he shoves me away.
"I'm fine," he says through gritted teeth, trying to sit up further, "I need to be alone."
"Well, unfortunately you don't get that luxury," I say, bristled, but not deterred as I step toward him again. I kneel beside the bed and force him to look at me, examining his eyes. They're not normal. I've never seen a Sharingan like this.
"Just get a guard!"
"If a guard came in right now and saw you like this, they would go straight to Tsunade," my voice gets thick and I realize I'm on the verge of tears. Not now, please not now. Not in front of him, "That would be it, Sasuke. This is not normal and with your track record this would only further the evidence against you. If this gets brought to the council, they will not hesitate to kill you."
The words hang heavy between us all. Naruto walks over to us quietly and sits beside him, but my eyes never stray from Sasuke's, even when he closes them.
"Maybe that would be best," he whispers.
"Sasuke," Naruto breathes in disbelief, "Why would you - "
"I wanted to die," when he opens his eyes, he looks at me and they are pitch black, bottomless, "Before you came, I was ready to die."
I push myself away from him, stumbling back until I'm leaning against the wall. Sasuke watches every step I take like he's punishing me, and savoring every second of it. My heart constricts but I don't look away, I can't. His brows furrow the longer our eyes are locked.
"What happened while you were gone?" Naruto's voice is small, quiet, but it snaps up Sasuke's attention.
"A lot of things," his gaze sweeps over Naruto and I before he scoffs, "Did you two think everything would just go back to normal if I came back? We haven't been a team in ten years, I'm not even sure we ever were one - "
"Sasuke, we just thought - "
"What?!"
Naruto goes quiet.
"Yeah, I did," my voice rings clear through the room, "I thought everything would be fine as long as we got our team back together, because everything we did, every training session, every failed attempt, every dead-fucking-end, was all for you," tears are streaming down my cheeks and I can't help but laugh, because what else do I have? It all seems so insignificant, so futile, "But I guess that's stupid, right? We were blindly following some childhood hope of mending whatever family we once had. I guess we just assumed you needed us as much as we needed you."
Frustrated, I swipe the tears away, unable to look at either of them, and steal out of the room.
My jaw is locked hard as I hear the door shut behind her. My head throbs. I remember what Sakura said about them looking for me. She hadn't let on what a toll it had taken. What must it be like to have that kind of relentless hope about something that by nature should be such a hopeless situation? When I look at Naruto he appears so defeated. He swallows hard.
"Every time it wasn't you, or a trail went cold, it took something away from us. It took a piece of us and every time that happened we'd just put in another piece, pick up where we left off," he drops his head in his hands, "You know you were like a brother to me, the family I never had, but always wanted. You were part of what made life good and worthwhile and," he exhales softly, "Happy. Not just for me and not just for Sakura, either. You were important to all of us, Kakashi-sensei, too."
"You knew what I was going to do, why would you come looking for me?"
"Why wouldn't we? You're more important to us than you realize. You were going on a rage fueled mission of revenge to kill one of the most feared and powerful nins in existence, we weren't about to let you get yourself into something like that alone."
I fist my hands together, unable to speak. Suddenly, Naruto bursts out laughing, but he no longer looks his carefree self, his smile is plagued by some undisclosed anguish.
"Sakura beat the living shit out of this guy that called you a coward after the village found out you left; he said you couldn't handle being a nin. She wouldn't let anyone slander your name," he rubs a finger along his chin, "But, then we started getting reports, little whispers of everything Orochimaru was doing and it became harder and harder for us to defend you. There were a lot of people that wrote us off by association, people who ridiculed us for being your teammates. Sakura and I got the brunt of it. There were girls who ostracized her just for how she used to feel about you," he shakes his head softly, "I think part of us thought that if we brought you back it would restore some balance to the world. Maybe we thought we could prove you innocent, or have the Hokage absolve you," he looks at me seriously, "If I were Hokage, I wouldn't have thought twice about your exoneration."
I train my eyes to the wall.
"Will you send a guard in?"
Naruto opens his mouth, then seems to think better of it.
"Sure," he clasps a hand on my shoulder before walking out. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and hang my head. My eyes sting the more I try to hold back the tears, but the swell of emotion is overwhelming. Were they really so persistent? I hear the door open and close. Somebody walks across the room. I tense, thinking maybe it's Sakura. I can't deal with that right now. It's bad enough the drugs had me crying into her shoulder that first week we were here. The room remains silent.
Why would they be so persistent? I can't help but think of Itachi; my brother who fought so hard to keep me safe that it cost him his life. Like a switch the Mangekyō floods my body and I close my eyes, trying to shut it out. Remember what Sakura said, they can't find out.
But it doesn't matter, what else do I have to live for?
Itachi wanted me to live. Why would he want me to live when there is so much pain? There's nothing left for me, here or anywhere.
What about Naruto? He'll be fine without me.
What about Sakura? She'll be fine without me.
What about -
Nobody needs me.
"Can I have a moment with him?" her voice cuts through my thoughts, startling me back to reality. I didn't even hear her come in.
"Of course," I don't turn around when the door shuts. I don't lift my head, but I can see her feet as she stops before me.
"Let me see," her fingers are a cool relief as she lifts my chin. Her eyes are rimmed with red, but she looks at me with a fierce determination, "Your eyes are okay, but I think you have a fever. You should be lying down, come on," she pushes my shoulder gently to ease me down. I lift my legs onto the bed and lay back into the pillows. I don't realize how tired I am until I'm lying horizontal and I close my eyes.
