Hey there! Thanks for the reviews. Here's the new chap it's small but I'll be back with more by friday.

Enjoy,

So ;)


Act 19: Sara

After ten more minutes of hesitation I drop my hand at my side and decide to sit down on the three stairs behind me. I've been debating with myself for the past forty five minutes unable to decide whether or not I should knock on Catherine's door.

For the first time since my relationship with Catherine has changed I'm at a loss as to what to do. Catherine and I had a fight at work, a good old argument like only we have the secret, violent with words sharp as knives. I used to know how to cope with that, but today, once my anger thinned enough for me to take everything in I felt sick to my stomach.

I reach for my cell phone blindly when it comes to life, I let it ring convinced that it's Grissom, I really don't want to talk to him right now. When the caller persists I reach out without looking at the caller ID before picking up, whoever is calling hangs up on me before I can answer, I frown and barely have time to see Catherine's name on the screen when I hear the door behind me open.

Catherine exits her house and comes to sit besides me. "Why are you here?" she asks after a long silence.

"I know I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry I just…"

"That's not what I meant," she cuts me with a frown. "I meant what are you doing on the front steps? Why not making your way in?"

"I didn't know if I'd be welcome." I sigh deeply.

"I'd have let you know if you weren't."

"I'm sorry about today."

"I have an important question to ask," she simply states, I nod and wait for her to continue. "Did you act the way you did because you thought I'd be more lenient with you? Did you think I'd favour you because we are together?"

"No, I stand by my decision I thought it was the best way to proceed because we didn't have much time. And I was right in the end."

"This is not how we do things and you're lucky Grissom and I were there to cover for you," anger colours her voice instantly. She forces herself to take a deep calming breath. "You were wrong Sara."

"I know… I was hot headed, but I really thought it was doing what was best," I admit after a minute of silence.

"And as a supervisor I had every right to bite your head off," she says sharply. "This topic is close," she takes a another deep breath. "I can't be lenient with you. I'm not putting my job in jeopardy for you, I can't let that happen. I've sweat blood and tears to be where I am today and I'm not messing with that for anyone… not even for you."

"I don't want you to ever treat me differently at work, regardless of what's happening outside of it," I reply immediately. I press my fingers against my tightly closed eyes as if fighting an incoming migraine. "I used to have a thick skin for all this but right now… it's like it was new and it hurts a lot more than I could imagine," I continue. "I'm not sure how or if I can handle it at the moment."

There's a sharp intake of breath. "I'm not sure to understand. Are you saying that you want to put an end to this… to us?" her voice is tentative.

"No, not at all," I answer immediately. "That's not… no, not at all," I can feel panic rising in my chest.

"Then you're going to have to clarify that statement," she demands with a strangled voice.

"It's just…" I'm trying to find my words. "I'm scared," I finally admit. "I don't want work to ruin this… to ruin us," I try to explain. "It was one thing to fight with you before but fighting with you now is a rather unbearable experience. I'm just… scared that work could ruin something so good."

"We fought at work, about work. Was I pissed off? Yes. That doesn't mean I don't want to see you after work," she states. "You're right, it's harder now but we just have to find a balance. What happens at work, stays there. It's up to us to protect what we have outside of work. I want to be with you, and I'm not letting anything ruin it; now's a good time as any to let me know if we're still on the same wavelength."

I take her hand in mine and look at her in the eyes. "I want to be with you too and we are on the same wavelength."

She leans in a delivers a sweet kiss on my lips. "Good," she nods. "Let's get back inside then."

Everything is good again, but I'm just realizing that it won't always be a smooth ride. I'm in it completely and I'm ready to fight for it, but I'm scared because I've never been so vulnerable with someone before so it's a new defensive arsenal I have to build and it's a whole new level of resistance I have to break.

You've got to get it together, Sidle.

Fuck.


Thank you for reading.