Chapter 5

"Do you think they notice we're gone?" I asked Clarke as we sat on grassy area just off the mountain. School just didn't seem right after what happened. Things were surreal. How the hell would I focus on the Progressive era in American politics when I just learned Clarke is a vampire, I nearly fell to my death and let's face it, she's consumed my every thought anyways.

"Not me. But they'll probably notice the cutest boy ever couldn't make it to class."

"Very funny, but I wouldn't be so sure, Princess," I smirked "the boys and the girls never stop talking about you."

"Hey, we agreed. No more Princess."

"Slip of the tongue."

We squinted, pretending to be serious. It didn't hold up, though. I tried to bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling but I couldn't help it. She couldn't either. Clarke's smile was still toothless and subtle, but brick by brick, the walls she built to keep everyone out were coming down. At least with me they were.

I glanced over her clothes. They were a little different- unique yet simple. She wore a light grey camisole, a darker grey, button up cardigan, black fitting pants and black calf-high boots with sheep wool to line the insides. Around her neck laid a silver necklace with blue diamonds. Clarke's style was sleek, dark and elegant, very unlike most girls our age. I wore a dark blue tight fitting long sleeve, blue slim jeans and wheat colored Timberlands dad insisted on getting me. Guess I'm going to have to hide their newly muddy bottoms.

"You're dying to know, so just ask. It won't hurt me."

"What am I dying to know?"

She looked to the ground and toyed with a dandelion between her fingers.

"How I stay alive. Or... undead, I should say." Clarke murmured as she continued playing with the little flower.

"I was going to ask how you were doing, actually. Your favorite color. Your favorite band. That kinda stuff."

Clarke titled her head to the side and let her eyelids lazily droop in agitation.

"I mean it. I wanna know who you are. The what and how don't really matter to me."

"Your naivety is endearing."

"So is your pessimism."

She smiled again. The butterflies' wings in my stomach tripled in size. For a moment, I wondered what effect a kiss would have on me. The tiniest of Clarke's smiles made me internally scream and my heart do back flips. I imagine a kiss would either make me temporarily lose my sanity or shit my pants. Actually, both are likely to happen... at the same time.

"I'm not naive. Yes, I'm curious about you and want to know everything, but you're not some science project. I'm not here to observe you and record my findings."

"It's the only way to be sure if this is what you really want. Total disclosure."

It occurred to me that Clarke saw her nature as a curse. She looked at herself with a great deal of shame and disgust. To her, she was a glorified mosquito. So how could she expect for me to not see the same?

"Okay. So how do you stay... undead?"

There was a slight breeze in the air. It kept pushing Clarke's platinum locks into her face. It didn't seem to faze her much as she continued fingering the dandelion by her side. She looked up at me every few seconds.

"I don't hurt humans. At least not anymore. I only feed from blood bags and so does the rest of my family. Except John. He's a little rebellious at times but he's trying."

"Is that why your mother is a doctor?"

"Yup. Stealing volunteer blood donations isn't so bad compared to the alternative." Clarke stopped playing with the flower and turned toward the cloudy sun. She looked as if she was remembering something, a distant tragedy maybe. Sadness covered her face. I lifted myself up by my hands and crawled over to sit beside her to her right. Clarke flipped her head around and her eyes were as wide as as the skies above us. I couldn't tell if she was scared, nervous or both, but I could tell that being so close was unnerving for her.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. You're not going to hurt me." I softly half-whispered to her. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. Clarke's pinkish bottom lip trembled as her coldness collided with my warmth. Slowly, she eyed my hair, my eyes, my neck then my mouth. I kept my sight on her eyes. Not to be cautious or anything. I just wanted to see how she reacted to having me near. I wanted to know what parts of me drew her in, attracted her.

I raised the back of my hand and let it hover over her porcelain cheek. She shut her eyes almost to absorb the heat from my fingers. Finally, I let my hand press against her face as tenderly as I possibly could. Then I used my thumb to trace underneath her icy blue eyes.

"B-Bellamy..." she stammered. Clarke opened her eyes and stared longingly into mine. "Your eyes. They... they take my words away."

Between us, I thought I was alone in being so mystified and almost bewildered by the others beauty. I know kinda good looking, but Clarke is otherworldly. She's so stunningly unreal that I still question if she's just a figment of my imagination- something I've dreamed up to cope with my life being uprooted and thrown away to Nowhere, Alaska. I'm so ordinarily human, no way in hell did I think I stunned her in the same way. I was wrong.

I returned her sentiments with a soft smile. Thanking her seemed out of place- unnatural maybe. I didn't wanna ruin the moment by saying something stupid or awkward. Instead, I moved my hand to cup the underneath of her ear and leaned closer to hover my lips over hers.

"Is this okay?" I whispered. She bit her bottom lip. I leaned even further, aching to kiss her quivering mouth. For a moment, I felt the world stop, but the instant my lips nearly brushed hers, Clarke zipped about fifteen away. She stood with her back toward me, hair bouncing in the wind.

"It's too fast. Not like this." She stated blankly.

I was temporarily stupefied, so I remained silent. What the fuck was I thinking? Clarke had just warmed up to the idea of being near me for longer than a few seconds and I try to suck face? Asshole! I sincerely hope I evaporate into thin air. Right now. Please. Take me. I don't wanna-

"Blue and The Beatles."

"What?"

"You said you were going to ask me my favorite color and band. Blue and The Beatles."

"Not bad, Prin-... Clarke."

She glanced over her shoulder, wryly smirking. My teasing may have annoyed her a bit, but it made her happy. Even just for a moment. I sucked my lips into my mouth to hold back what would be the most embarrassingly wide smile I've ever smiled.

...

I spent the next few days falling madly in love with Clarke Griffin. Maybe I've loved her since the moment I saw her. Maybe I've loved her all my life. Maybe I've even loved her since the stars were born. But in my short 17 years, Clarke made me feel like I've been alive forever and that she's always been there- lifetime after lifetime. It could all be a delusion. I could be way in over my head. But these weren't the whims of a horny teenage boy. This was timeless, ageless. This transcended everything I thought I knew about life, the world and love itself. Clarke asked me if I was afraid a few days ago. The truth is I am. I'm afraid of this ending.

"Don't look. Keep your eyes closed. You promised!" Clarke scolded. She stood behind me with her hands over my eyes. She had a "big surprise." The chilliness of her skin still startled me at times, but I was getting used to it. We still haven't kissed, but she'd hold my hand every now and then. I don't know if she's traditional or just too nervous to kiss me, but I was patient. I knew that when it happened it'd be even more special.

"They're closed!" I yelled, smiling wide and feeling ahead of me like I was blindfolded.

"Okay, okay. Just a few more steps."

It was nighttime, the air was cool and thin. Clarke insisted I wear my black hoodie to keep warm, but it wasn't so bad.

"Alright. Open."

I opened my eyes to find a boat with two oars docked on the moonlit Sitka River. The waters were calm and peaceful, it had just a slight ripple that made the bright, full moon's light shimmer in tiny waves. A forest of large pine trees lined the river which made the night eerie, yet thrilling. Even as a kid, I never went on the river. Dad was always too afraid I'd drown or something. But I always wanted to go. Now I'm here on the most perfect of nights with the perfect girl.

"What's this?" I asked with gleaming eyes.

"It's a boat. And that's what we grown ups call a river. And those are treeeees," she teased.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. I mean what's it for?"

"I can't tell you. But you'll love it. I promise."

"Well I take our promises very seriously. If I don't love it you're gonna pay."

"How exactly? Will you charm me to death? Laugh me into a coma?"

"You underestimate me, Clarke Griffin. But I'll use that to my advantage."

"I'm shaking."

"You're gonna be." I raised my eyebrow and shot her a naughty half smirk. She beamed at my flirting and dropped her chin to her chest. There was no more toothless, subtle smiles. Clarke grinned from ear to ear. She lit up like an early morning Christmas tree. Smiling, we fell into each others eyes for a moment.

"Shall we?" She gestured toward the boat.

"It would be my pleasure."

We walked down the dock together, hand in hand, and got onto the boat. It was wooden with two rows, but medium in length. Clarke undocked us then sat opposite me facing the river.

"Ah, so I don't even get to see where we're headed?"

"Nope. There's a sign up ahead that says where we're going so keep your eyes on me."

"Won't be too hard." I gave her those flirty eyes she loves so much.

"Alright, let's go."

We both grabbed an oar and started rowing upstream.

"Couldn't you have just… ya know… ran us there? I don't mind… piggy backing." I asked while running out of breath. My arms were cooked noodles and I was passed the point of trying to impress Clarke. We had been rowing for twenty minutes. I know that doesn't sound like much the bone-chilling air plus the fact that I don't have superhuman strength really make things difficult. Pins and needles were setting in.

"Here. I'll take us the rest of the way." Clarke stood, took my oar, slipped it into the open slot and continued rowing without batting an eyelash. I graciously massaged my burning biceps.

"And to answer your question, no. I couldn't have ran us there. Well, I could. But I wouldn't and shouldn't."

"Why not? Isn't that a perk of being a vampire?"

"Considering all things, yeah that would probably go in the perk column. But I don't want us to be like that. I want to be as normal as I can with you."

"But you're not normal. You're extraordinary. I don't care that you're a vampire but I do care that you love and accept yourself. And most of all that you forgive yourself."

"It's not that simple, Bellamy."

"Maybe not. But it's worth a try."

Ahh-oooooooooooooowoooowoowoooooooo!

A wolf howled into the night far off in the distance.

"Looks like the wolves are out tonight." I noted while glancing up toward the mountains. The howl came from around the Reyes settlement. No wonder they didn't tell me why a mountain run is so dangerous.

"They sure are." Clarke responded with a weird inflection in her voice. But I ignored it. "Good, we're here."

"Can I look?"

"Yup. The show hasn't started yet."

"Where are we?" I asked as Clarke tied the boat up to the dock.

"We're in Glacier Bay."

"Should I even ask..."

"Haha. No, because I won't tell you. Just wait for it."

We made our way off our quaint little boat, climbed up the dock and stood side by side on the edge. The night sky was strangely bright and the stars were especially large and striking. It made it so I didn't have to strain to see anything. Clarke turned her head toward me and slowly interlocked her fingers with mine. I gazed into her eyes and gently carressed my thumb against hers.

"It's time. Look up over there."

Clarke pointed above the trees from across the river. I followed her finger and waited.

"I- uh. I don't see anything."

"Just wait."

I glanced side to side wondering if this was some kinda vampire thing. Maybe humans couldn't see it and she didn't realize? Sure the stars were pretty but it's nothing we had to leave Sitka to-

"Holy… shit." My jaw nearly dislocated.

"I told you!" Clarke giggled.

I ran my free hand through my hair, mouth still ajar in disbelief.

"It's… it's… I..."

"I know. I know."

Vivid greens, blues, pinks and yellows twirled and pirouetted through the night sky like celestial ballet dancers. The heavens opened up and unleashed onto the Earth the most magnificent rainbow man had ever seen. It was like looking through a telescope that could rip through dimensions and show us the work of God herself. This was too beautiful to be the work of a man.

"It's the Northern Lights. I… I don't know what to say this is incredible. What… I don't know." I was completely and utterly dumbfounded. It was unthinkable. Astonishing. Baffling. I couldn't find the words.

"I knew you'd love it."

I was too hypnotized by the Lights to look at Clarke but I'm sure she was smiling at me. But after a couple deep breaths I peeled away from the trance I was in and found Clarke's eyes.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, Bellamy." Clarke turned to face me. I followed suit. "Just close your eyes."

I admired Clarke's faintly sparkling skin before shutting my eyes once more. My hands lay curled into her palms. She gently thumbed the backs of them and inched forward so that the tips of our shoes touched. She traced up my arm. I could feel her through the fabric of my hoodie. Her pauses midway up helped me sense she was nervous. She got to my shoulders then around my collarbone, still on top of the fabric. Finger by finger, she closed in on the sides of my neck, letting them linger without touching my skin. Ever so slowly, she placed her fingers one my one on my skin. The coldness made my shoulders tense a bit and my eyebrows slightly furrow.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Clarke tried to pull back but I grabbed the backs of her elbows.

"No, it's okay. Clarke, I'm okay."

"They're too cold, Bellamy. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." She sobbed.

"Shh. Shh. Listen to me. It's okay." Eyes still shut, I wrapped my hands around her wrists and placed her hands on my neck. They were chilled, but bearable. "Keep going. I promise it's okay." I lowered my hands down to Clarke's waist. She may have the strength of ten Bellamy's but I wasn't going to let her run away.

Clarke waited… and waited.

"You won't hurt me." I whispered.

She lifted onto her tip toes to level her mouth with mine. Cupping the sides of my neck, Clarke leaned in. Our noses brushed against each other. It made me anxiously part my lips. She used her bottom lip to circle over my mouth, coaxing me. I moved my hands up Clarke's back and I pulled her in to a tight embrace. I sighed deeply onto her mouth, yearning to kiss her lips. She trembled, then finally pressed her thin, pink lips onto mine. It was sweet and cold like a cherry flavored popsicle. I held her bottom lip between mine and savored her for every moment I could. Then Clarke pulled her chin back. We panted breathlessly. She spread her fingers and ran them up the back of my hair. I responded by clawing at the back of her deep blue cardigan. She kissed me once more. But this time when she parted, she swirled her tongue around the tip of mine. I flicked it and pulled her in even tighter. A muffled moan escaped from her mouth and I swallowed it whole. We parted lips once more. She pressed her forehead against me as we panted in sync.

"Bellamy." Clarke breathed.

"Clarke." I sighed back.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."