A/N: I don't know whether anyone is still reading this story, but it felt wrong not to keep going. I'm sorry for the long wait to those who have kept with it. Hopefully, this chapter is satisfying. I had a brilliant push of motivation to finish this chapter and have rushed it out to you folks. It's not as thoroughly proofread as it should be, but I'll go through it with a finer comb later. For now, read and enjoy!

Monster is a relative term. It takes on multiple personalities and is different for each person. For some, their monsters are physical, corporal beings that haunt in the wakening hours. For others, their monsters are intangible and lie at the edges of their mind waiting for a lapse in reality, in which they can strike. To different people, monsters take on different forms. For Matthias, his monster was one shared by almost every living being, and that monster was death.

Death was a subject that Matthias preferred not to dwell on. He pushed it to the back of his mind along with any thoughts of running away or suicide. Just like any other person. He didn't want to die. So he did not think of death. Like a child, he thought that if he didn't acknowledge, it wouldn't be real. It was a subtle way to trick himself that death would never come.

But here death stood before him. His grim reaper and his shining knight all bundled into one. Death in its most beautiful form. He still couldn't believe that Lukas was death or a monster. After all, death doesn't save people, and monsters don't become afraid of being alone. They don't have a heart. Yes, Lukas was not human, that fact was obvious from the first time he saw him, but that didn't necessarily make him a monster.

"But it does" said the voice in the back of his mind, that insanely practical part of his mind that was still telling him to run. He should listen to that part. If he did he wouldn't have almost died in the first place. But, then again, if he had listen to that part he never would have met this beautiful being.

Logic be dammed.

"Ma, Matthias?" Lukas's voice broke him out of his thoughts. The stutter gave away his nervousness, but other than that there was no emotion in his face. No, maybe there was. Matthias hadn't seen it before, but Lukas's fingers were twitching ever so slightly and there was a tiny crinkle in the corner of his eye.

"I'm here." He said, not really knowing what else to say. Lukas's eyes burned into his, trying to tempt him into saying more. He was so unsure and that tormented Matthias, but he didn't say any more.

Lukas sighed, apparently giving up as he slumped into the couch and folded in on himself. "You have to say something Matthias." He mumbled, not meeting the other's eyes.

There was a long silence that filled the room. It seemed to settle on everything like an invisible dust. The space was dark and still, but not like it had been before. The night had passed and now the days were bleeding together, one into another. A whole new day was about to begin, another sun was about to rise, and with it another chance of dawn. Hopefully, Matthias thought, this day would be different from all the rest. Maybe with it he could leave behind his past, and maybe Lukas would help him do that.

"To be honest, I don't know what to say." He said very carefully. "But I know that this doesn't make you a monster. You can't choose what to be born as, but you can choose what you become. You shouldn't be ashamed."

Lukas shifted in his seat, turning his body more towards Matthias's. He looked confused.

"I am not ashamed. I am what I am and I do not know being anything else. I do not know human emotions like you do." He paused and bit his lip, unsure about what he was going to say next. "It is strange. I'm proud of what I am. I'm strong and I can do whatever I like because I am not bound to the human civilization and its laws. But at the same time, I would like to be bound, just to be able to experience things humans experience.

I know that I am death and humans fear me for that. Every living being fears me for that. I also know that it is foolish for me to wish I was not death. I cannot change fate after all. I am lucky I was not born as a weak creature, but sometimes I just wish…"

His voice trailed off and became lost in the silence. Matthias couldn't help but stare. That was the longest he had ever heard Lukas talk and he almost couldn't believe it. Lukas was keeping all this bottled to himself? Honestly, Matthias didn't know how to help his savior because it was just as he had said. He was what he was, he couldn't change fate.

"Lukas, do you wish you could be human?" He asked with baited breath.

Lukas snorted. "No, I do not. I wish for some of the things that humans have, but does not every creature. Humans, after all, seem to be the most blessed among us. You have hopes and dreams and families to rely on. From your very birth, you are possibility and have the ability to churn your own path in this world."

He looked out towards the window and silently tracked the silver moon's shadow. "You do not already have your place decided."

Matthias was silent. It wasn't that he didn't have anything to say, he just didn't know what to choose to say. He wanted to ask what Lukas meant by his speech. He wanted to ask why Lukas didn't seem like he was living his own life. He wanted to ask why he thought that humans were so great when they caused so much cruelty. Most of all, he desperately wanted to ask what was wrong. But he said none of those things, despite all that he said what he thought was most heartbreaking.

"Lukas, do you not have a family?" he practically whispered and drew even closer to Lukas. He thought that Lukas would just move away or shift uncomfortably, but instead he leaned into Matthias. Idly, Matthias wondered if Lukas had ever been touched before.

Lukas took a long moment to answer. "I had a brother once."

Matthias waited because Lukas' tone told him that he would continue. He was just taking his time and gathering his memories. Matthias didn't mind, he could spend hours watching Lukas' face. As he thought of his brother, his face was slowly melting, just the way night metamorphosed into day. The little edge of a smile that Lukas had begun to take on when Matthias spoke was slowly transforming into something more beautiful. It was becoming fuller and filling with more emotion than Matthias had thought possible.

It wasn't flooding or overpowering, but a complicated sort of emotion that in itself a paradox and capable of being both delicate and strong. Once again, Matthias saw his savior in the snow breaking logic and changing everything he thought he knew. He could help but wonder why Lukas would ever think himself a monster. Monsters don't care like this; they don't have this fierce a love. Monsters were made when someone was bereft of emotion and, even though he tried to hide it, Lukas had more complicated emotion than Matthias thought possible.

"His name was Emil and he was a spirit like me, though he was a spirit of ice and not Winter's death. Us spirits, we do not often meet, and when we do we very rarely interact for more than a few seconds. But when I found him…" He trailed off and got caught in a memory again, before slowly continuing.

"He was so small and fragile. He was alone and looked terrified because of it. We are all born alone, that is the way nature intended us to be. But that moment when I saw him huddled and afraid, I questioned nature and rebuked natural order. I took him as my own and called him brother. I decided that he did not deserve to live alone and because of that he did not."

Lukas was silent again, staring into the darkness. He wasn't looking at anything and they were a vast amount of vision in his eyes. His memories were replaying themselves over and over again. Only the happy ones, though, the darker ones would come eventually.

Matthias shifted and Lukas just sunk deeper into his side. Very slowly, Matthias wound his arm across Lukas' shoulders and brought him in closer. It was an innocent touch, just something to show that he was hear and he was listening.

"I don't know where Emil is now." Lukas said so quietly that Matthias almost missed it. His voice was like a snowflake that only lived for a minute. "I woke up one day and he was gone." His voice teetered. "I searched and searched. I scoured this whole forest. I cried out his name until my voice was raw, but…"

Under his arm, Matthias could feel Lukas shuttering with emotion. He took a deep breath and collected himself enough to talk again. "I almost wish that I had found him dead because then I would know what his end was. But I did not find him, which means he might still be out there somewhere and alone. He has never been alone before, I never let him see that curse because I knew how terrible it was. What if now that is the life he lives? What if he is looking for me and he is lost and terrified? Matthias, what if he forgets what it like to be next to somebody? What if he forgets like I did?"

Throughout his confession, Lukas had slowly been getting closer and closer to Matthias. At this point, he had practically molded himself into his side and was clutching his hand like it was a lifeline. Maybe it actually was. The trembling had started again, but now Matthias could feel the violent tremors racing against his side like they were his own. The temperature had begun to drop too and Matthias could feel the deep familiar chill settling itself against his bones.

He ignored most of that though and instead one phrase kept replaying itself in his mind: What if he forgets like I did? With every word of that phrase, with every meaning that it brought to his mind, Matthias felt little pieces of his heart breaking away. Lukas had been so alone that he had forgotten what company felt like. Matthias couldn't imagine that. He couldn't imagine living and knowing that nobody cared about him. He couldn't imagine being trapped in his own head with no one to communicate to. He couldn't imagine the way that Lukas' mind must have twisted over itself and craved for another. To know that his only purpose in life was to bring death and to curse others with loneliness and deprivation of loved ones. No wonder, Lukas had thought himself a monster.

That had been Lukas' entire life before Emil and when Emil had disappeared that was the life that Lukas had been cursed to live again. Nature had started his life out cruelly and twisted it to be crueler still.

Matthias wanted to say something, but he knew an "I'm sorry" wouldn't cut it. "I'm sorry" is such a useless phase. It held none of the comfort that Matthias wanted to give and was cold and flat against his tongue. Also, he was angry. He didn't know who to be angry at or what to curse for giving Lukas such a heartbreaking life, so he silently swore at everything. He threw profanities at fate and wailed damnation against the heavens. He cursed nature and nurture and the universe and the earth. He told whoever was listening up there that they were wrong and that Lukas deserved better. He was too perfect to be sentenced into being a monster. He was too brave to be expected to live without a heart.

In his head he said all these things. Outside of his head, in the cabin, he said nothing because, for the moment, words didn't belong in the air. So instead, Matthias moved his hand from Lukas' shoulders and into the small of his back. He began rubbing circles and feeling the shift of Lukas' muscles under his palm. He provided as much comfort as he could, because he knew that he deserved it.

Around them, the atmosphere of the cabin shifted and became warmer. The table and chairs seemed to take up space again. On top of the table, the white candle burned with a tiny flame. It was small, but filled the room with light because of how much darkness swirled around the pair on the couch. The fire flickered and the brightness rippled like the surface of water. It spread itself across the beings on the couch, human and spirit. Almost like a blanket. Almost like it was trying to keep them safe.

A/N: I'd forgotten how much I loved writing in this lyrical style… It really is very refreshing to come back to this story and bring it to life once again. I hope that there wasn't a huge discrepancy between writing styles from then and now (do remember that I've picking up this chapter after over a year of not working on it). As always please review and tell me whether you think I should continue and whether you are enjoying the story so far.

Love you all,

Silver