Act 31: Sara

It's day three of our stay at the Sidles' headquarters and I've decided to show my town to Cath and Lindsey. I couldn't express how happy I am that they are here with me. I never brought anyone home before, anyone I dated that is; although my ego has been put through the wringer my family get along very well with them and that's the best part of it all. Sure, their approval isn't everything, but it means a lot to me.

We show them our high school and every place we used to hang; then we do more cultural things, the places you have to go to when you're in our town. We have lunch at Charlie's favourite, then Howard takes us to a fair not far from a beach.

To my great delight Catherine enjoys the thrilling rides and the roller coasters as much as I do. Cath and I then spend some time away from everyone; we make out on a Ferris wheel, do some of the quieter rides; walk around sharing cotton candy, over all have a great laugh.

"Well done, miss," the young man attending the shooting stand congratulates me as I knock the last target. "Which one do you want?"

I turn to Catherine wanting her to pick because after all I was trying to win for her. "I want the unicorn," she asks biting her bottom lip.

"The unicorn it is," the young man says before taking the stuffed animal off its shelf. "There you go," he offers it to Catherine.

"Thanks," I bob my head to him.

"You ladies have a lovely afternoon," he winks and we walk away.

I pass an arm over Catherine's shoulders as we keep walking among the different stands. "You know, if we could win small prizes during our shooting range exams at the lab we'd volunteered to do it as often as possible," I joke.

"Yeah, nothing like a unicorn to give you motivation," she chuckles then turns to me and captures my lips with hers. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I beam. "Although, I'll have you know that your smile is a great motivation in itself."

"Sweet talker," she kisses my cheek. "This afternoon is awesome."

"It is, isn't it?" I agree with a smile.

"I've got to experience first times with you."

"Such as?"

"No one ever won something for me for one… and I had never made out on a Ferris wheel," I blush at her statement.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh," she nods. "What about you? Who did you make out with on a Ferris wheel?" she teases with a poke on my ribs.

"Nobody!" I laugh trying to escape her tickling finger. "I had never been on a Ferris wheel before today," I shrug.

"Seriously?" she's clearly surprised.

"It always seemed kind of boring to me," I confess. "But I'd go on one with you any day with the promise that we'd always make out," I admit feeling heat rushing on my cheeks.

"Well… we still have an hour before joining the others to go back," she waggles her eyebrows with a smirk.

We do make good of that hour on and off the Ferris wheel, then as Charlie had requested we all meet at the entrance of the fair. Lindsey, Hazy and Sidney are wearing made up tattoos, which earns Lindsey a reminder that she was still not allowed to have a real one. On the ride back Lindsey and Hazy tell us about how their afternoon went when we parted ways.

Once we're back home Lindsey is adamant about preparing dinner with Hazy and Sidney, considering the attention I received yesterday, I decide to stay clear out of the kitchen; while Catherine, Russell, Howard and Rueben are playing pool, I take the opportunity to have a talk with Charlie.

After dinner we are all gathered in the relaxation room, originally we had planned to play some board game but while we couldn't decide which one to play Sidney was messing around with the piano; when he started to play some familiar song singing erupted and here we are in a weird version of a karaoke, dance thing.

The advantage to be so many in the family is the fact that we are a small orchestra to ourselves. I don't take part to the thing, mostly enjoy watching Russell dancing with Linds, or Cath singing at the top of her lungs with Howie.

As the evening turn into night the energy of the day starts waning, Sidney starts stroking a familiar Gershwin tune on the keys of the piano and Hazy stands up, her warm voice fills the room. I stand from my armchair for the first time and walk resolutely to Catherine, when I'm facing her I silently offer her my hand. She's surprised but does take it and a few seconds later I'm swaying us gently at the sound of Hazy singing to Porgy.

I've never really been a big fan of dancing, mostly because it makes me so nervous and self conscious to the point where it seems that I was given no coordination whatsoever; lucky me, just like that time at the Halloween party, Cath is indulgent and simply laughs when I unfortunately misstep on her toes. I manage to relax and find my swag in the middle of the song. I dance with my eyes locked with hers, right at this moment words aren't necessary, we share much more than a few notes and gentle movement.

I smile and push her away gently so she can make a twirl, then I bring her back to me and rest my forehead against hers, give her an Eskimo kiss then pull her tighter against me. As the song reaches its conclusion I swiftly bend her backward a bit, when I pull her up again I capture her lips in a soft kiss.

The spell is broken by cheers and wolf whistles from my brothers, I roll my eyes but can't help the light blush on my cheek; Catherine doesn't seem to have the same problem, she simply smiles and curtsies in response.

We stop the music after that, Sidney teaches how to play pool to Lindsey while the rest of us share a nightcap talking, then we all go to our rooms.

I'm in my bathroom finishing nightly ritual when I feel a pair of arms snaking around my waist. I hear her sigh contentedly. "The unicorn, the Ferris wheel, the dance… if I didn't know any better I'd say you're trying to sweep me off my feet," she kisses my shoulder.

I chuckle and look at her through the mirror in front of us. "Is it working?" I ask, grinning.

"Possibly," she bites her bottom lips, her eyes glinting with mischief.

I turn around in her arms. "Possibly, uh?" I tease.

"Possibly," she reaffirms.

"Let's see what we can do about that," I state before capturing her lips into a languid kiss.

My hands quickly find their ways under her top and at her initiative or mine we start wambling back into my room. As soon as the back of her knees hit the bed she blindly lowers herself and I follow never breaking our kiss.

I start kissing her jaw line, making my way to her neck, while one of my hands traces her delicious curves. I kiss her breast and lift her top, trailing my lips on her abdomen, then on an impulse I inflate my cheeks and blow against her skin. The reaction is immediate, she whimpers and starts squirming under me, laughing. My hands join my mouth in my tickling attack, making her wiggling a little more.

"No! Stop it!" she guffaws. "Please…"

"Shhh…" I remind her that it's late but laugh with her nonetheless.

I shift my position on top of her and exploit each of her weak spot to have her writhing in agony; she's laughing so hard that her eyes are soon brimming with tears.

"Uncle! Uncle!" she admits defeat. "You're an idiot," she slaps my shoulder, a wide grin adorning her face.

I kiss her neck then capture her lips again. When I pull back I admire her face; once again I'm amazed to be here with her, to be the one in her arms; I'm amazed and grateful.

"What?" she asks softly.

I shake my head. "I like hearing you laugh."

She pecks my lips, her smile still firmly in place. "You just enjoy torturing me."

"Not my fault if you're so ticklish," I defend myself weakly.

We start making out again and move deeper into the bed; caresses become more insistent, bodies move in concert, hands try to map out every inch of heated skins, mouths tease and gently bite, breathings shorten and mingle, desires are whispered.

"I want you…" Catherine breathes with a moan, nibbling on my earlobe. I can only clench my hands in response as my brain is experiencing a temporary meltdown.

No sooner the words have left her mouth that my breath is caught in my throat at the sudden feel of her hand on my sex. The sensation is even headier for her digits feels cold on my oversensitive and scorching flesh.

I struggle to control the flow of oxygen coming in and out of my lungs, incapable of doing anything except holding onto her; the feel of the muscles of her arm and back contracting in rhythm with the move my hips; barely audible, inarticulate sounds escape my mouth, my heartbeat speeds up, fire builds in my guts.

Oxygen withdraws from my lungs, my hand claw Catherine's back, my body stiffens for a second before convulsing with pleasure. She kisses me passionately, letting me enjoy the high. She doesn't let go of me or break the contact until she feels me ready for such moves, and keeps peppering me with kisses and caresses while I enjoy the afterglow of her passion.

Once my heart settles down and my tremors subside, I look at her with a silly grin on my face then frown a bit.

"What?"

"How did you get on top?" I ask, truly surprised. The last thing I remember was her being under me.

"I got skills," she waggles her eyebrows.

"That you do," I retort suggestively. She rolls her eyes and chortles then kisses me again.

We share silence and soft caresses for several minutes, just enjoying the closeness.

She kisses my neck then position herself so she can see me as she speaks. "So… what's the plan for tomorrow?"

I snort, surprising myself to have forgotten my earlier talk with Charlie. "I'm going to visit my mom in the morning," I announce. As subtle as it is I can see that Catherine is holding her breath. "I'll be back around noon, 1 p.m. top," I add. "Will you be alright on your own?"

She blinks twice rapidly and grins but I didn't miss the flash of hurt crossing her eyes. I know what's going on through her mind right now; she probably thinks that she's not significant enough for me to introduce her to my mother.

The truth is that I wish I could introduce her to my mother, but I can't, not now anyway. I don't want to embarrass my mom, she has come to term with the fact that she's in prison but it doesn't mean I can pop up with someone she doesn't know in tow for some casual meeting. My mother is a proud woman and after all she's been through the very last thing I want is to ever put her through any situation she could perceive as humiliating.

I'm not ashamed of my mother. I love her to death and appreciate every sacrifice she has made for me, for our family. I am, however, very protective of her. Ever since we've been apart I've been very sensitive about her forced physical absence from my life, we all have. It still hurts today as much as it did on day one.

I haven't told Cath that my mother was in prison, only because telling her that would lead to talk about why she's there in the first place, which in itself would lead to open my own Pandora's box, something I am definitely not ready for.

"Charlie will stay here I think; Sidney, Hazy and Rueben are taking Linds to surf, and Howie might go to town; you can follow either or stay here, you're free to do whatever you like."

"I'll be fine, don't worry," even if there's still a grin on her lips I know that it's not genuine. She kisses me sweetly then shifts her position so she's lying next to me with her head on my shoulder.

I'm grateful for one thing, it's the fact that Catherine doesn't push the issue, and I know how much it costs her. She trusts me to come to her with things when I'm ready, and one day I'll show her that her trust wasn't misplaced.

"Do you think I should get worried about Linds?" she asks out of the blue.

"Why?"

"She might turn into a mermaid with all the time she's spending in the water," she deadpans.

Her silly joke has the desired effect, breaking the sudden tension that had descended on us. I chortle and kiss her crown with affection. It's not long before we drift into sleep.

My rest is short lived though because I wake up suddenly not long after with a sense of dread gripping my guts, fear clawing me like a second skin; cold sweat chilling my bones. I quietly extirpate myself from Cath's embrace and get out of bed to go to my bathroom.

I seat on the edge of the bathtub and inhale as deeply as I can but my lungs seem to stay resolutely empty. My fear becomes more and more real as images from my nightmare flash behind my eyelids. I hate this feeling overpowering me right now. I'm trying to fight off panic, but the tremors running through my body are a sure sign that I'm losing this battle. My senses are being treacherous smells, tastes are overtaking me, making me even more nauseous; I'm slowly losing my grip on what is real and what belongs to the depth of my memory.

"Sar?"

Catherine's sleepy voice startles me. I try to speak, telling her that I can't breathe but no sounds comes out of my mouth. I hear sheets moving and can only guess that she's getting out of bed. She squints at the light entering the bathroom and frowns in concern as soon as she sees me.

She squats down so she can look at me. "Hey, are you alright?"

I try to speak but fail once again. I start breathing faster.

She places her left hand flat on my sternum. "Your heartbeat is really, really rapid," she states worriedly.

I heave even deeper, barely managing to relieve my lungs, the spots blurring my vision are not helping the panic at all.

"It's alright… just… try to breathe slowly. In… out… in… out," she instructs. "Stay with me…" she cups my face and forces me to look at her.

I focus on her and do my best to pace my breathing with hers; it's seems like an eternity before my lungs stop burning and start filling up.

"There you go… slow…" Catherine encourages me with a soothing voice.

I nod as I'm finally shading my panic. Once again she places her palm on my chest. "Better?"

"Yeah…"

She moves so she can sit next to me. "What happened?" she asks softly.

"It was too… vivid."

I sense her confusion for a second but then she understands that I'm talking about a nightmare. She nods and rubs my back in a soothing motion. After a few minutes she guides me back to bed and leaves the room for a moment.

When she comes back I'm still sitting on the edge of the bed where she left me. She comes around to face me again, handing me a glass. I take it absentmindedly and have a sip while she delicately pets my head.

I have a slight jerk movement when I realize what I'm drinking, cold milk with a dash of cinnamon. I look at her completely dumbfounded.

Long before we had our first date, in fact during that first breakfast we had after the bet incident I said in passing that there was nothing better than milk with a hint of cinnamon to make the world feel like a better place.

I never told her that Charlie would give me milk with cinnamon when I had a rough night; or that it's a ritual going back to my grandmother who would do the same for my mother who used to do it for Eleanor who then took it upon herself to do it for the rest of us, when Eleanor passed and after our mother was taken away from us, Charlie took the relay.

I look at her, fighting back tears, overwhelmed; not knowing why she would remember such a trivial thing now or what pushed her to do it for that matter. She looks alarmed and kneels in front of me, taking the glass away and putting it on the nightstand.

"Hey, hey… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you… I thought…" she hurries.

I simply take her in my arms and hold her so tightly I'm certain she can barely breathe. It's such a random gesture, the simplest and yet right now it means the world to me; I wish I could express all that, but words fail me. I can feel myself shaking but I can't help it.

"Sar… please say something, you're scaring me," she pleads quietly.

I squeeze her harder, holding onto her as if my life depended on it. "Thanks," I manage to whisper.

Right at this moment with a simple glass of milk, Catherine unknowingly turned into my knight in shining armour, making me feel safe again.

I realise now that Cath is my person. She makes me feel strong and grounded, so much that at this very instant I could face those things terrorizing me.

If I could speak to my fears I'd say 'I have Catherine by my sides, so just fuck off.'

Yeah, fuck off.


Cath and Sara are dancing to 'I Love You Porgy' from the opera Porgy and Bess by George and Ira Gershwin, and Edwin DuBose Heyward. (Nina Simone's version will blow you away)

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