Bit of a shorter chapter here, so I apologize. I suspect I'll have some difficulty uploading in the next week because I'm working pretty much nonstop, but I will do my very best. Also, Holy Hanalore, 30,000 views! What?! That's crazy. I super duper appreciate your support guys, it means a lot to me, especially as we come closer to the end of this piece. Read, Review, Enjoy Xo


I open my mouth to begin but the rumbling of my stomach cuts me off. Sasuke chuckles and slips out of bed, still dressed in his pants. He picks up his shirt and flings it at me.

"Let's eat, and then we'll talk," he bargains. I would protest but I'm so hungry my stomach is starting to hurt. Sasuke looks at me expectantly but I ball up his shirt and throw it back at him with a grin. Picking up my dress, I slip it on over my head and hop off the bed. Sasuke grabs my wrist, pulling me against him, "I thought you said you were mine."

"And you said you were mine," I nip his bottom lip playfully, "But you don't see me throwing my clothes at you."

He scowls and pulls on his shirt, following me downstairs. Kakashi stands in the kitchen with a complacent smirk on his face. I shake my head at him in warning, but he ignores me.

"You two need to learn to be more quiet," he whispers. I feel the color drain from my face.

"You could hear us?" I wince.

"Well, it sounded like two people having sex, but I could be wrong," Kakashi shrugs. I drop my head in my hands.

"Do you think everyone else heard us?"

"If they did, they didn't say anything," Kakashi assures me. I narrow my eyes at Sasuke.

"I won't apologize," he says stubbornly and, after making sure no guards are peeking in at us, he squeezes my hand quickly. Kakashi notes the brief touch and grins.

"So what caused you two to voluntarily leave the confines of your room?"

"Unfortunately, I need food to survive," I grumble and pilfer through the cupboards. Sasuke winds an arm around my waist and pulls me back.

"I'll make you something, Sakura. You can't live off snacks for the rest of your life," he releases me and turns to the stove, preparing pans. I feel like melting into a puddle on the floor.


"I'm so full," I groan, pushing the plate away from me and laying my head on the table. I overdid it. Shoveling all the food in my mouth when I was hungry seemed like a good idea at the time. Sasuke's hand rubs my back up and down soothingly. "Sasuke-kun, carry me upstairs."

He chuckles.

"Don't tempt me."

"I think that's my cue to exit," Kakashi takes up the plates and washes them in the sink. I place my hand on Sasuke's thigh and squeeze tightly.

"Are you ready?"

He looks at me with woeful eyes.

"We don't have to do this tonight, Sakura. It can wait until the morning."

"No," I shake my head, sitting up, "We don't have time to put this off."

"Fine," he says, compliant, coming to stand. I follow Sasuke upstairs, taking my suitcase with me and bidding Kakashi goodnight. A sense of domestic bliss comes over me as Sasuke closes the door and peels his shirt off. He watches as I slip out of my dress and open my suitcase to find some pajamas. He gives nothing away from his expression, but his eyes are tender. I pull on an old shirt and flannel pants, observing the way Sasuke's lip curls up.

"What?"

"Nothing," he says, walking up to me and pressing a soft kiss to my mouth. I smile and tug him onto the bed with me. He lays down beside me, propping a pillow behind his head and I rest my cheek on his chest. I can hear his heartbeat flutter as he opens his mouth to speak. He sets a hand on my waist, "Promise me nothing will change after this."

"I promise, Sasuke," I keep our eyes locked, "I love you, that won't change."

His grip on me tightens and he swallows thickly.


"Orochimaru was obsessed with cheating death, so much so that he attempted to take my body, as well. As much as he was insistent about training me, he also made it very clear that nobody's life was above his own. I felt the same when it came to tracking down Itachi; nothing was more important, not even the safety of my teammates," though my gaze is distant, called to the attention of these buried memories, I can see her in my peripheral, hanging on my words adeptly.

"Orochimaru tried to get me to join him, to become immortal, but I wasn't interested in that. I didn't want to live forever. He was so consumed, though, that I felt it was interfering with the progression of my training. I was always gathering test subjects for him, aiding in his experimentation. Karin and Suigetsu felt the same. I had become his personal soldier and I hated that more than anything. I didn't abandon Konoha so that I could be somebody's pet," I note the venom in my voice and take a breath, "That's when I decided to leave. And when it didn't go well with Orochimaru, he left me with no choice. Karin and Suigetsu were reluctant to kill him, but they did help me weaken him."

"Something happened after our fight, I could feel him trapped in me. He had managed to leave his host body and infiltrate mine. He was always speaking to me, trying to goad me to use the seal. I left Orochimaru's base and spent some time traveling by myself, following any piece of information I might have found that would lead me to Itachi," I pause, recalling the flashes of anger and irrational hostility towards people I met in passing. "And sometimes, I would get this urge, it was a bloodlust. I couldn't ever tell if it was Orochimaru's or mine. But it would get so strong, overwhelming at times that I thought it had to have been both of us. I didn't trust myself around people so I'd never stay in a lodge; I'd always make camp farther away, somewhere secluded. Eventually, Karin and Suigetsu came after me. I'd accomplished very little on my own so we decided to hunt the Akatsuki together, as a team. I wouldn't admit it then, but I was glad to have them; they were very talented nins."

"You really cared about them, didn't you?" Sakura props herself up on her side, her expressive eyes delving into mine. I nod slowly.

"They were always there for me," I take her hand in mine, "When I wouldn't let you and Naruto be. But of course, I took them for granted. We managed to capture a former Akatsuki member. He'd left the group to be free from the burden of what he'd done through the years. And I pulled him right back into it. I tortured him to get him to tell me where Itachi was. He was either very loyal, or he truly didn't know. Karin tried to stop me from killing him, but I was so overcome with frustration at being so close to finding him and coming away with nothing. I couldn't let her stop me. I stabbed her just to get her out of my way. And when Suigetsu attacked me for what I'd done, I almost killed him. I murdered the shinobi and left them all bleeding out in a forest. The only way I knew I hadn't really lost myself yet was because I still wanted to kill Itachi. It was a constant battle in my mind to keep Orochimaru from controlling me completely. Naturally, the only thing I clung to was my revenge."

"A couple years later, Karin tracked me down. She told me she'd help me, pick up where we left off. We found an Akatsuki base where Itachi had been hiding out. When I went in, Itachi's crow clone was waiting for me. He told me where to find him and I went, without a single thought. That was the last time I saw Karin. I was surprised she even came to find me, after what I'd put them through. She told me she forgave me but not for what I had done to Suigetsu. I didn't care then, my only concern was finally getting to Itachi. I ended up at an old Uchiha base and there he was, waiting for me. I didn't realize how weak he already was. Still, we fought each other mercilessly. I think Itachi could sense Orochimaru inside me and was trying to get him to manifest. The more I fought, the louder Orochimaru's voice got. Finally, I gave in and I used the seal. Somehow I set Orochimaru free, but Itachi cut him down. He trapped him with his sword and when Orochimaru finally left my body, so did the cursed seal," I breathe deeply; this is the hardest part. This is my worst memory. It's more haunting than the image of my clan slaughtered in the streets. I don't break away from Sakura's gaze. I need her strength, because mine is gone.

"Itachi was weakened and he used his last breath to tell me about how the Hokage had manipulated him into massacring our family. I didn't believe him at first, but the more he spoke, the more it made sense. Then, he was gone and I passed out after that. I was wondering around for a few days, incoherently, feeling nothing but guilt and hopelessness. That's when I took up my sword and decided I was done. And then you found me."

Sakura wraps an arm around me and curls into my side, her face hidden from me. I pull her closer, keeping her in my grasp because I have no intention of letting her go, not now. We lay against each other in silence, a quiet calm. A heavy burden is gone from my shoulders, made even more apparent by the fact that Sakura hasn't run away from me for it.

"I admire you, Sasuke," she finally says, her voice a soothing cadence, "For your remorse and your compassion. It takes a lot of courage to face the things you've done and even more to admit you were wrong."

"You think too highly of me," I weave a hand through her hair.

"Somebody has to," she laughs, "Wouldn't you rather it be me than Naruto?"

"Always."

"Sasuke-kun," she leans up to kiss me slowly, gently. I really do enjoy kissing Sakura. Her lips are sweet, soft and I like the way she leans into me, like she trusts me, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything," she says quietly and reaches up to my arm, her fingers brushing my skin, "Hey, how did you get this one?"

"Snake bite from Orochimaru."

"And this one?" her fingers pave a path down to my abdomen.

"Training with Orochimaru."

"Are they all from him?"

"Most of them," I slide my hand up her back, under her shirt and find the scar just under her shoulder blade, "What happened here?"

"Pursuing a wanted nin," she giggles, "No, it wasn't you, Sasuke. Naruto and I got separated. I thought I could take him on my own but I was sixteen and stupid."

"Hn, it's difficult to imagine you not being able to take somebody on."

"It was a learning experience."

"What about this one?" I trail my hand between her thighs, placing my fingers delicately on the marred skin.

"I had a brush with the Akatsuki."

"And this one?" I pull down the collar of her shirt to show the discolored mark.

"I believe that was put there by an entitled baka," she scowls beautifully at me, but then she turns somber, "Sasuke, if I can convince the Daimyos that Orochimaru was controlling you, we might have a chance at getting you pardoned."

Hope shines in her eyes but I can also see her apprehension, and it mirrors mine. What if we can't? What if they don't grant me amnesty? Her optimism is charming, but I don't want her to put too much faith in it; it would just make it that much worse if they decide to not act in my favor.


These thoughts keep me up well after Sakura has fallen asleep. I slip out of her grasp, take up my shirt, and step from the bedroom quietly. As the steps creak under my weight, I see heads turn in my direction and I'm reminded yet again of the lack of privacy I have here. I just need some place to think. A few guards follow me to the backdoor and into the yard. I imagine they don't make a big deal of it now because of Sakura.

The air is cool and crisp, reminding me that winter is not far off. The grass has died and the leaves have fallen. Everything is coming to an end, preparing to be reborn in the spring. I feel it, too. An impending demise hangs over me like a cloud. Is this going to be how it ends?

I never thought about what I'd have to do after I killed Itachi. I just thought I'd feel better. I never pictured myself coming back to Konoha, let alone this compound. It's almost comforting now, being home. I see Itachi everywhere. Even in the dark, I can see the notches we put in the fence when we practiced our aim. The room that Kakashi sleeps in is the same room Itachi and I shared. His clothing was still in the dresser, as if he'd never left.

I lower myself to sit on the deck and look up at the black sky littered with bright stars and a waning moon. Savoring the peace of this dark night, I feel I don't want the morning to come. To have to face the complexities it will bring and the further dismay of my purgatory sets me on edge. As much as I would prefer the council to stay in indefinite uncertainty about me, I have to prepare myself for the fact that it will all be coming to a close in less than two weeks.

Death or exile does not scare me as much as being told I am welcome back in Konoha. How could I ever become integrated within this village after all these years? Just because my team accepts me, that doesn't mean everyone else will. I think about Karin and Suigetsu; they'll never speak to me again and rightfully so. For a fleeting moment, I wish I could see them again. An apology would do nothing but I'd say it anyway and I'd thank them for all they did for me.

This is part of death: atonement. I've been building toward this for a while now, coming to terms with the wrongs I've committed and attempting to make it right with the people. . . With the people I love.