Act 36: Catherine

I'm trying to wrap my mind over what just happened but I must admit it's hard. In the span of five minutes I've seen my lover and her twin brother raise their voice at one another; that fact alone was hard to take in mostly because they all seem so in tune with one another that it's hard to picture them arguing; I know I do argue with my own siblings, but in the four days we've been here it's the first time that any of them lost their temper.

The most astounding was when Sara and Sidney started to get physical with one another, they wrestled like… well kindergartners, it was awkward and very ridiculous even more so since they are adults.

The cherry on top of the cake was probably when Charlie and Russell came into the room, Charlie grabbed them by their ears and scolded them like children.

This whole scene would have been very funny if it wasn't surreal.

Charlie has left the room but Russell is still staring at Sara and Sidney with his arms crossed over his chest. "Two hundred lines," he declares ominously.

"Oh come on," the twins start to protest.

"I'm sorry, perhaps the two of you would rather spend the night polishing the floor with toothbrushes?" Russell cuts them off and effectively stops their whining. "Two hundred lines," he repeats then turns to Sidney. "I'll stop pestering my sister when she asks me to," he elaborates then turns to Sara. "I will not hit my brother even if he annoys me."

"I thought grown-ups couldn't get in trouble," Lindsey muses in a whisper.

"They can in this house," Hazy tells her. "If you act like a child you'll be treated as one."

"Put everything in order and get started," Russell orders before leaving the room as well.

Neither he nor Charlie lost their temper or raised their voice the whole time they were scolding the twins.

"Are they really going to do lines?" Lindsey asks.

I watch Sidney going back where the chess board is now on the floor pretends to pick something from the floor and then going back to Sara where he pretends to put her nose back in place, then kisses her cheek saying he's sorry.

"Oh yeah they are, because if they don't Charlie or Russell or both will get angry, and you never want that to happened," Hazy nods

"They're that scary?" Lindsey continues her query.

"Put it this way, when they're angry they make the Hulk look like a new born kitten," Rueben explains.

"Being grown-up doesn't sound fun at all," Lindsey points out.

"Take note, something tells me your mom won't let you get away with anything either."

"You got that right," I confirm with a smirk and Lindsey whines in disapproval.

"Right, let's go play in the yard, giving those two some time to cool off and do their punishment," Hazy declares.

"Catherine?" Rueben calls me when I don't move. "Don't worry about twins, they've been bickering since they were toddlers," he smirks.

I nod and follow them into the yard. We spend the rest of the afternoon outside, enjoying the sun.

I'm sitting on one of the swings in the yard swaying gently with my eyes closed, enjoying the warm caress of the sun on my skin.

"Need a push?" the gentle question comes with a soft kiss on my neck and I can only smile.

"Are you allowed to be outside?" I question with a raised eyebrow as she comes to stand in front of me.

"Yeah, I wrote all those stupid lines," she grumbles. "I'm sorry about earlier," she hangs her head with embarrassment. I don't know if she's talking about when she arrived or her fight with Sidney.

"I did say you were cute when you were five," I joke.

"Ugh…" she whines.

"Come on and push me," I take pity on her.

The rest of the day goes smoothly, we play Pictionary and other games all together. Sidney and Sara are teasing one another but in a very affectionate way making up for their fight. We play until ten then call it a day. Sara and I talk once we are lying in bed, but still she doesn't mention anything about her mother or her day, and I don't push.

I woke up around one and find Sara sitting on the edge of the bed, obviously agitated. For a second there I'm worried that she's having another panic attack.

"I didn't mean to wake you up…" she speaks softly without turning to me. "I can't stay here…" she adds in a whisper.

"What do you mean?" I ask all the while trying to shake the sleep off me.

"I need to get out… I need to…"

I notice only now that she's shaking, but it takes me a moment to realise that it's because she's moving her leg up and down rapidly in a nervous movement.

"Would you come with me?" she turns to me.

I'm a bit taken aback but go with it. "Uh… sure."

"Okay…" she nods frantically. "Okay…" she stands up and I'm surprised when she opens the window and passes a leg over.

I sit up and get out of bed quickly. "Hum… Sar?" even in my sleepy state I know that asking her what she's doing is stupid since it's obvious. "There's a… door," I point my thumb over my shoulder.

She stares at me blankly several seconds as if I had spoken in a different language. "It's okay…" she nods eventually and passes her other leg over the ledge of the window. "I promise you won't get hurt."

I look at her going down with ease; lucky me the full moon provides enough light for me to memorize quickly her path and the points on the wall that will help my progression. It's obvious that she's done it before, and I have no doubt that she could do it with her eyes closed.

My heart is pumping adrenaline through my system, as I swing a leg over the ledge of the window I push back the voice in my head reminding me that I'm on the first floor, a really high first floor and that in all honesty there is absolutely no reason at all for me to escape through the window, I mean, I'm an adult, and I'm fairly certain that it gives me a hall pass to go in and out without any permission, at least it was the case last time I check.

There's something about getting out this way though, it's…

It's silly, I know it is, but I can feel the excitement in the pit of my stomach; there's an edge of danger thinking about getting caught by Charlie, and I feel rejuvenated because the last time I left a house by a window I was sixteen. There's something deeply prideful about doing this now when I'm well into my forties.

Now, all I have to do is not to think that I could break my neck among other things.

I take a deep breath and swing my other leg over. "Come on, Cath, you can do this," I galvanize myself.

I follow Sara's traces and I can help the elation filling me when I reach firm ground easily, I won't lie, that's a hell of an ego boost.

I'm still beaming at my small exploit when Sara steals a kiss from me, then starts to walk away; I can feel blush colouring my cheeks and a silly grin tugging at my lips. Yup, I'm definitely not a day over sixteen.

I rush to Sara's side and feel a butterfly going crazy in my stomach when I grab her hand. Maybe it's due to the adrenaline still running in my veins but I'm on sensory overload; the smell of grass and earth, the feel of it against the soles of my bare feet, the warm caress of the night against my arms, the heat of Sara's hand in mine; everything seems enhanced. The whole scenery is a strange mix between eerie and serene.

Sara stops and lets go of my hand, I get out of my reverie and notice that we are at the foot of the their tree house, the Fort Sidle.

It's a large structure built on a very large tree, it's actually quite impressive from the outside. Sara is already at the entry latch when I start to climb; seconds later I'm finally penetrating the tree house.

Sara waits for me to be completely in then closes the latch. "Welcome in the fort," she says softly as I'm taking in the place.

The room is spacious, the floor covered with thick carpet, there's a wide window on one side of the roof and another on one of the walls; there are a dozen of books and various toys on small shelves, pillows to sit on. I notice small LED lights the shape of hockey pucks scattered around; the full moon provides enough light through the roof window though. There's a big tube resting against one of the walls.

The most impressive thing is that we can stand up without touching the ceiling. I move closer to one of the pictures that is on one wall, and smile. The glazed paper shows Sara and all her siblings, I see two new figures who I assume to be her parents, all of them smiling radiantly at the camera.

Next to the picture there's a paper, I chuckle when I read what appears to be a pledge of allegiance to the Sidle's family and the fort signed by all the siblings.

I turn to Sara who's sitting cross-legged on the floor. "This place is…" I shake my head in awe. "Amazing," and I don't think that adjective is enough.

Sara grins sheepishly. "It's a good escape…" she nods. "Nothing can reach you here…" she looks up at the window. "When you lie down and look at the sky… you can go far, far away from here… far enough so the world doesn't feel like such a bad place… I've always liked that."

I frown at her statement wishing I could read between the lines to know what she's not saying.

She shakes her head and taps the floor next to her as a silent invitation to sit next to her. I settle down, watch her move some books away and retrieve a small metal box which once held biscuits. She hands it to me with pursed lips but doesn't say anything.

I take the box and open it delicately. My breath gets caught in my throat when I discover photographs, there are also several small items and I can easily guess that they have a great emotional value. The photographs show the various stage of the fort and I can see that Eleanor, Charlie and Russell helped their father build it; there are a lot of pictures of Eleanor, and of Sara's sibling running, laughing, playing; I've always been shocked how moments stolen and forever frozen in time could convey emotions with such clarity and power, for a moment I feel like I was there.

There's a scarf which I saw around Eleanor's neck in one photographs, Sara's cowboy badge, six other items and I can easily deduct that each belong to one sibling, I find myself even guessing what belongs to whom.

The three last photographs are of Sara's parents, them dancing, teasing one another or simply smiling at the camera; those pictures show just how in love with each other they were, how happy and young. I turn toward Sara with a smile but whatever I was about to say dies on my lips when I see her looking away from the pictures, a sombre expression clouding her features.

She stands up and clears her throat. I've always known that her parents were a sore subject but I realize only now that it's much more sensitive issue than I could ever fathom. I take a look at each photograph one last time, imprinting them into my memory then put them back carefully on the box.

Sara has moved the thick tube that was resting against one wall and I understand now that it's a homemade telescope. She set it up so we can observe the sky through the ceiling window. I let Sara move the telescope and show me different stars, I look at the moon as well and I must say that it is all magnificent.

After several minutes I sit down again and just observe Sara as she's putting everything back in place.

"So is this where you take girls to impress them?" I ask with a teasing smile. "I can sense that this place has a lot of potential for making out," I waggle my eyebrows.

She shrugs and shakes her head. "I've never brought anyone I dated home… let alone here…" she confesses in a whisper.

The depth of her admission takes my breath away; Charlie's words from our morning conversation come back in my mind, their meaning clear.

"I'm here," I point out the obvious.

"Yeah…" she nods and looks at me. "I guess, you're special," she adds with a timid smile.

I'm blown away by her words but recover quickly. "You guess?" I tease.

Her smile broadens. "You guess?" I poke her ribs and she starts squirming immediately. "You guess?" I repeat and start tickling her.

It takes her a few seconds before catching my hands. "Okay, okay!" she laughs.

I'm taken aback by how beautiful she is, the way she is bathed in the moonlight, the way her smile lights up her eyes, right at this moment she looks like she was out of a dream.

She cups my face and dips her eyes in mine. "You are special."

I feel something expand in my chest so suddenly I can't breathe. The way she's looking at me right now makes my heart go wild, it beats so hard that it hurts.

She leans in and locks our lips in what has to be the sweetest kiss.

Our bodies find each other and speak through caresses; she makes love to me in a way she had never done before, with incommensurable reverence and adoration. Everything is calm, and serene, both of our being in perfect tune; we reach the highest point of pleasure in absolute unison, Sara's eyes never living mine.

I can feel her heart beating strongly against my chest, my own heart making an echo. With tears in her eyes she caresses my face delicately. "You are very special," she whispers before kissing me again, then she lays her head on my shoulder as we're both settling down, revelling in the closeness and the connection we just shared.

"I love you," the words roll off my tongue in complete silence.

I love her. I love her so much that it scares me; I haven't let myself be so open to someone else, so vulnerable or allowed myself to feel so fully and so passionately for someone in a very long time. Though I can label my feeling with absolute clarity, I'm not ready to proclaim them just yet. Not out loud.

But I'm getting there. I still have a few demons to fight, and insecurities to quell.

I kiss Sara's forehead and hold her closer to me. As I stare at the roof window I can't help but think that she was right. I know that at the moment I'm far, far away from everything and with her in my arms the world definitely doesn't feel like a bad place to be.

Some undetermined time later Sara suggests that we go back to her room. As reluctant as I am to move I won't deny that her bed sounds fantastic right now; plus I don't want to share what we just had with anyone, if we slept here questions would arise in the morning.

We go back to her room the same way we got out, when we are lying down with her spooning me I'm still beaming so grateful for all that she has made me feel tonight, so grateful to be with her, to have shared so much with her.

I drift off in a peaceful sleep after she kisses me on the shoulder.

I stir awake when I feel her trying to disentangle herself from me. I blink tiredly, just long enough to see that it's four something in the morning.

"Something's wrong?" I ask.

"No," she replies with a kiss on my bare shoulder

She tries to move away again. "Stay," I mumble.

"I have to go…" she whispers kissing my neck. "I promised Linds we'd go surfing just the two of us this morning."

"It's not even five…" I whine.

"I know…" she whispers. When I still refuse to let go of her she adds. "Cath… I promised her."

"Hmph…" I moan in protest but eventually let go of her hand. "Fine…"

I immediately grab her pillow and bury my face in it, dozing off again. It takes about ten minutes for her to be showered and ready. I feel her sit on the bed. "I'm going, but I'll make it up to you with lot of snuggling time later."

"I'm holding you onto that," I warn her.

She kisses me, then stands up again. "Be careful, both of you," I say before she leaves the room.

I love my daughter, and I love that Sara is always being true to her word, but I really wanted to have a lazy morning in bed with my lover especially considering the shortness of our night.

Damn it.


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