This is a big one and will feature the original ending. If you're curious about which ending is what, head on down to the bottom of this page for an additional note.
Years of being on the run, always watching my back, have left me a very light sleeper. Every crunch of a leaf or snap of a branch, I hear it. So, when Sakura slips out of bed and from my arms, I feel it. I keep my eyes closed, listening as she paces softly to the other side of the room, until I hear a quiet sob emanate from her.
"Sakura," I pull myself up, looking for her in the darkened space. She steps to the wall and flicks the light switch, illuminating the room. She stands far away from me, naked, with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Tracks of tears stain her face and she won't look at me.
"I don't want to lose you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura takes a shuddering breath, "I can't go through that again."
Guilt coils around me like a vice.
"I'm so sorry," I speak softly, but with earnest, "For everything, Sakura. I don't want to hurt you."
"I know," Sakura nods, her voice breaking, "I forgive you."
For a moment I'm stricken. Her words hold me captive and I realize it's because she's the first person to accept my apology. She doesn't diminish it, or tell me to think nothing of it. Sakura acknowledges it, receives it, and pardons me. She's my salvation, and she's already given me my freedom.
Yet, I can't help but feel that I'm trapping her.
"Sakura, you deserve the world," something constricts in my chest and I clench my fists, "Even if I'm alive, I can't give that to you."
"I don't want the world," she laughs bitterly, "I don't need it," she hesitates for a beat, as if debating, "I need you. Alive. I'm scared, Sasuke. Aren't you?"
I don't answer. I'm scared for her. I'm scared for Naruto and Kakashi, for all the things my death will mean for the people I care about most.
"I don't know," I swallow thickly as her eyes finally rest on mine, "But I need you, too."
My hands shake as Tsunade leads me out of the room. She takes me down the hall to the commissary and starts picking out a tray of food, piling various items on it.
"Eat," she gestures in front of her as we sit down at the table in the mostly quiet cafeteria.
"I'm not hungry," I wave my hand as if I can shoo the food away.
"I didn't ask if you were, but you need food, you're shaking."
I shove my hands beneath the table.
"I'm fine, let's just go back inside. I'm ready to talk."
"What are you going to say?"
"What they want to know. If they realize they have our full cooperation, maybe it will change their minds."
"You sound desperate, Sakura."
"I am," I wring my fingers together, "The thought of losing him - ," I shake my head and look away, "If it were Dan, wouldn't you do everything in your power to save him?"
"I did do everything in my power," her voice is thick with sorrow and drips slightly with acidity, "And it still wasn't enough. There are certain things that we just can't help. Eat."
I pick up the onigiri and bite into it, watching as the shadow of his memory plays over Tsunade's face.
"How often do you miss him?"
"Everyday," the pain in her voice is palpable, "Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, or my brother. But, as I'm sure you know, some days are worse than others. I could wake up one day and be able to think fondly about the time we had together. The next day I can't get the image of his blood on my hands out of my head."
"Do you think Sasuke will be pardoned?" I ask after a beat.
"No," she says softly, "But you knew that already."
"Do you think he deserves it?"
"I think that some people don't deserve a second chance, but I'm still not sure if he's one of them."
"Would you give Orochimaru a second chance?"
"No," she answers without hesitation. I feel my heart drop but I don't know what else I expected. Although, her next words shock me, "But Sasuke isn't Orochimaru."
"They think he's as good as. At least, that's what it sounds like."
"They're scared, Sakura. They will do anything in their power to protect their villages from another person like Orochimaru terrorizing them. The Daimyos are right, we'd be placing a lot of trust in Sasuke by having him back here. And people are always going to think the worst of him, he'll carry that with him for the rest of his life," she sighs heavily, her eyes giving a silent plea, "You might feel you love him, but you have to think carefully about whether or not you would want to deal with that yourself."
"You've told me, Tsunade-sama," I avert my eyes because it's difficult to look at her, "I'll stand by his side, not just for him, but for myself, too."
"That's admirable, Sakura, but not everyone might see it that way."
"I don't care," I shake my head, "I'm done talking about this, let's go back inside."
"Are you sure you're ready?"
"No," it's the one thing I am sure of, "But the longer I'm here, the less time I have with Sasuke."
Naruto arrived soon after Sakura had left. We sit in the living room together and I listen while he speaks. His ramblings are a welcome distraction. But try as I might, I can't seem to follow one train of thought to the other. I can't stop thinking about what Sakura asked me this morning. Should I be afraid? Should I suddenly fear death? Now, I feel like I'll be losing something if I die.
"What should I do?" I look up, confused.
"What?"
"Did you hear me?" Naruto's brows are furrowed and he looks nervous, "Hinata's late. What if she's pregnant?"
"Then, you'll be a father," Kakashi deadpans, "Should we have a talk about how babies - "
"Enjoy it," I say suddenly. He looks startled by my response, but the longer the words hang in the air, the more I realize I mean them. He deserves to be happy and raise a family; something he never had through his childhood.
"I guess I just thought kids would be farther down the road," he shrugs, looking forlorn, "And I don't know how to be a father."
"Nobody does, even if they've grown up with one," Kakashi says simply.
We sit in silence, pondering Kakashi's statement. Two sides of the same coin, that's what we are. He never had a family; I lost mine. We had different dreams from the start and now - well, suddenly I find myself wanting what he has. I just want it with someone else.
"Uchiha Sasuke does not negate the crimes he's committed," I feel that I have to say it at least once to be clear of what I'm advocating for. I've gone back and forth within myself too much, "Much of the information you have acquired is true. But he is not solely responsible for his actions; grief is a heavy burden, made more so when a maniacal wanted nin has seduced you with the power needed to exact revenge. Be that as it may, he is not asking for your forgiveness. He is only asking to come home and live in peace."
I realize I'm embellishing. I have to fill in the blanks that Sasuke has left open. He won't give me straight answers; he is not that type of person. He has only just begun to understand his feelings and to voice them. It occurs to me that I may be fighting more for myself than for him. I think I must be selfish because I want him back home so badly that I disregard how it might make others feel. The scar by my hip burns as if to remind me just how far his actions have reached. But I believe that he is reformed; I've seen his remorse.
"And what of the years after Orochimaru's death?"
"He traveled, mostly alone, still searching for the Akatsuki. He was somewhat consciously aware of Orochimaru's presence within him and so he distanced himself in his search. He was fearful that he would hurt somebody," as I say the words, I realize how ridiculous it must sound to them. But he does care. He knows how much damage he can inflict.
"His teammates, Karin and Suigetsu, what of them?"
"I still have no information on that," I swallow thickly. I can't tell them he's unwilling to cooperate. "He has no knowledge of their whereabouts; they split up after Sasuke found Itachi."
"After he killed Uchiha Itachi what happened?"
I try not to lower my head. For some reason I find myself conflicted as to whether I should give the truth or not. Would it be a sign of weakness to them that he attempted to kill himself? Would they see strength if he suffered it from Itachi?
"I found him, injured, and brought him here."
"Injured by Uchiha Itachi?"
"That is unclear," Tsunade speaks up before I can open my mouth. I dare not look at her right now for fear that I'll give something away, but a silent gratitude presses at the forefront of my mind. Then, I think about Sasuke's honesty with me this morning. If he stays, shouldn't he start with a clean slate? But would this help or hinder his case? If they see it as him being ready to die, well then, what's the difference to them?
"Do you have any further information you would like to present to the council before we deliberate?"
I feel the pressure of everyone's eyes weighing down on me. This is it. Any last ditch attempts, final efforts to save him, I have to say them now. I can't think of anything and for some reason that causes panic to settle in. I look around the room but I can't read anyone's expressions.
"No, that's all."
Splashing water on my face, I struggle to calm my rapid breath. I haven't felt this kind of fear since I saw Itachi standing over our parents with a bloody sword. It's crippling and it reminds me of why I left Konoha in the first place, to escape this fear. But Kakashi and Naruto had stood by my side while I was frozen in the rain, thinking on the inevitability of it all. It felt good to have them there. Below, I hear the door open and shut. Thinking it's Sakura, I barrel down the steps, but see only Naruto and Kakashi speaking with a guard.
"She wanted to inform you that she'll be back once they've finished," the guard says and nods before retreating through the door.
"What did he want?" I ask.
"Sakura said the Daimyos are making a decision now. She's going to wait there for the verdict," Naruto appears stunned, not meeting my gaze, but instead investing his attention in the floor. Kakashi folds his arms over his chest and watches the door.
The time has finally come. By tonight, my life will be over. The finality of it all threatens to crush me, but at the same time, I've been expecting the worst. By the end of the day, I'll no longer have to live in constant anticipation of what may come. I turn away from them and breathe a sigh of relief.
I wring my fingers together, looking out the large window in Tsunade's office as the sun sets and the village comes back alive. My thoughts pace on the same track, working worry throughout my body. What if, what if, what if? I try to breathe deeply and think of something else, but nothing will suffice.
What if, what if, what if. . .
But, I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't.
What if he dies?
I can't -
Tsunade opens the door sharply and strides into the room. She comes straight at me, her face crumbling, her arms outstretched and I want to back away, to curl into myself, but she catches me. She pulls me tautly against her, a slight tremor in her body. I know and I start crying. I know and I don't want her to say the words.
"I'm so sorry, Sakura."
I whimper and shut my eyes, trying to negate her statement. I shake my head and start shoving against her chest, but she doesn't budge.
"Let me go!" I sob and tremble, "I have to talk to them. I have to make them change their minds!"
"No, you've done enough. You don't need to exert any more of your energy on this. It's over."
"It's not enough," I push her away, garnering strength from my chakra. Fury shakes me, but depression roots my feet. I can barely see through my tears when I open my eyes, "I won't let them take him away from me."
"They're gone, Sakura," she says firmly, putting her hands out in front of her as if she could stop me, "They've left already."
"How could you let them leave?!" I seethe, allowing anger to burn through my veins, scorching the pain of my sorrow.
"I knew you were going to react this way," she stands her ground, speaking calmly still, "But there's nothing you can do now, even if they were here."
"They can't have gotten far!"
"Sakura, you don't want to spend your last hours with Sasuke trying to argue with me about something you can't change."
My last hours with him.
"This isn't fair."
"To him? Or to you?" she narrows her gaze at me but she is not asking me judgmentally. Clenching my fists, I attempt to quell the tremors that run through me.
"It isn't fair," I persist through gritted teeth.
"Life's not fair, Sakura. You of all people know that," she opens the door and gestures for me to step out of her office, "Come on, you have until sunrise."
Fresh tears cascade down my cheeks when I hear her words. I find that I don't have the strength to move forward. My heart is telling me to run to him, to hold Sasuke until they pry him from my arms, but fear clouds my thoughts. Tsunade grabs my wrist and ushers me out of the room. If it weren't for her, I don't think I could have left.
As soon as she steps through the door, I know. Her red rimmed eyes can't seem to leave the floor. Sakura's shoulders are slumped and she's wrapped her arms around her midsection. Her throat bobs like she's struggling to swallow. I stand from my perch on the steps and walk to her. Tsunade throws me a warning glare and for a moment I pause; I stop in my tracks. Then, Sakura lifts her watery eyes, pleading for something from me, but before I can take her in my arms, Naruto beats me to it. Kakashi approaches her tentatively and strokes her back. I clench my fists and realize it's probably better that they're comforting her.
"I want every guard to meet me out front, now," Tsunade's voice is controlled but it still cuts through the living room and soon all the soldiers are filing out the front door. She is the last to leave and when she shuts the door behind her, the utter silence is startling. We're completely alone. Well, almost.
"Sasuke-kun," she sobs quietly.
"Don't speak," Naruto admonishes her.
"I - I tried - "
"Sh - " Kakashi begins.
"They wouldn't - "
"Sakura - " Naruto tries to stop her.
"Sasuke-kun, I'm so - "
"Don't say it," Kakashi states firmly. I'm glad he's stopped her. It angers me beyond reason to think that she feels any guilt over my situation. Sakura pushes away from them and stretches her arms out for me. She takes my face in her soft palms and kisses me earnestly. I become hyperaware of the way that her lips move, the way that they feel, as I realize this is my last night to kiss her. I can taste her tears as they slip between us. Faintly, I can hear the dull rumble of Tsunade's voice as she tasks the guards to something and it causes me to pull back for fear that everyone might walk in on us. Although, what does it matter now?
"I'm sorry," her soft voice breaks as she leans into me, our eyes locked.
"You have no reason to be," I squeeze her hand because it's the most I can manage at the moment.
"You don't, Sakura," Naruto's voice shakes with an eery fury, "You are not responsible for this."
Tsunade reenters before Sakura can respond.
"The guards will wait outside for the evening. I thought you might like to have some privacy," Tsunade is brazen as she speaks, but nobody seems to be bothered by it, "They'll alert me if you try anything."
She looks directly at Sakura as she says this. Sakura nods.
"Thank you," her voice is quiet and she clutches my hand tighter.
"Kakashi, you're free to return home when you like," Tsunade pauses for a moment, looking out of place, "I'll be here at sunrise. We'll escort you to the hospital then."
No one utters a word so Tsunade bows her head and takes her leave. As the door shuts, I feel frozen in this moment. What do we do? Where do we go from here? None of us seem willing or able to speak. I don't look away from Sakura, though I can feel other probing gazes boring into the side of my head. Sakura swipes her tears away and takes a deep breath.
"Do you want us to leave?" Kakashi asks and Naruto gapes at him, clearly opposed to the idea.
"No," Sakura answers.
"Not yet," I clarify. I do want to make sure Sakura and I have ample time together tonight, though.
"Should we - Well, should we make dinner?" Naruto scratches the back of his head, "Should we make a campfire and talk? I mean, what do you want to do, Sasuke?"
"Why are you asking me?" I snap, an irrational irritation flaring within.
Naruto opens his mouth, but appears at a loss.
"Dinner sounds like a good place to start," Kakashi affirms.
The only sound in the kitchen is the scraping of forks and mild chewing. I push my plate back, finding I have a lack of appetite. Sasuke doesn't seem too interested in his food either. I reach for his free hand under the table, finding it resting tightly upon his knee. Gently, I unclench his fingers and lace them with mine. He looks at me briefly, passing over me with a heavily guarded expression. I don't want him to cut me off, not now. But rather than pull away, he squeezes my hand. Suddenly, Naruto chuckles and we all look up in surprise.
"I was just remembering," he shakes his head with a smile, "I was just remembering the first day of training together, when we were trying to get the bells."
"You were all terrible," Kakashi smirks.
"You wouldn't stand a chance now, huh, sensei," I give a small grin, grateful for the lift in tension.
"I would be horribly outmatched," Kakashi admits.
"We'd give you a head start," Naruto chimes and we laugh lightly, though Sasuke remains resigned.
"I haven't thought about that day in a long time," he says quietly.
"It seems very far away, doesn't it?" Kakashi ponders. None of us voice it, but we all nod in agreement. It seems like a different life, perhaps one that I didn't even live, "Well, it's getting late and I'm sure you two need some time alone. Naruto, we should get going."
"Okay," Naruto looks to Sasuke for confirmation. He seems to think it appropriate since he stands as Kakashi does.
"I'll take care of everything in here," I offer, collecting the plates, thankful for a distraction. I don't think I could bear it to see them say goodbye to each other for the last time. A tear rolls down my cheek and I abruptly turn into the kitchen before anyone can see.
"I need a favor from both of you," I speak softly, even though Sakura has the sink running.
"Of course, anything," Naruto states adamantly.
"I don't want Sakura there when - when it happens."
"She's not going to stand for that, Sasuke," Kakashi whispers.
"She won't have a choice," I swallow sharply, "But, I don't want her to be alone here. When they come for me, Naruto, will you stay with her?"
"Sasuke, I - "
"I don't want you there, either," I feel my throat tighten, "You do better together, anyways."
Naruto shuts his mouth and looks away. I won't be selfish and let them watch me die just because I want the comfort of their presence. They've gone through this scenario enough already. But, I don't want to be alone, either.
"Okay."
"Kakashi," he nods before I've said anything else.
"I'll come with you," he affirms and pulls me into a hug. He clutches me so tightly against him, but I don't feel constricted. In fact, I feel safe.
"Are you sure, you don't want us there?" Naruto asks when we break away.
"I'm sure. It's not something any of you need to see and I'm sorry to have to ask this of you, Kakashi," he shakes his head but I rush through before he can quash my apology, "And I'm sorry, Naruto, for putting you through this again."
Naruto hugs me tightly and I return his enthusiasm in a rare display. There's an emptiness in my chest as I'm forced to confront everything I'm losing. I feel something that I didn't know existed break inside of me. It shatters in a glorious, piercing pain so similar and yet entirely different from how I felt the night of the massacre.
I don't want to die.
I'm not ready. Because as painful as it is to live, there are things and people that make it bearable, that make me happy.
"Sasuke-kun," her voice is timid and shakes as she approaches me. I've been standing by the door since Naruto and Kakashi left, unable to move. I reach a hand out for her, noting the distance that stretches between us in this now empty room. She steps toward me carefully and encloses me in her arms. I feel her tense in my hold, her breath hitching, "We have to go."
"What?" I pull back to look at her, but she won't meet my eyes.
"We need to get out of here, to leave the village. It's the only way we can keep you alive," she turns away from me, pacing the foyer, "If we can create a big enough distraction, we can get past the guards and head South."
"No," the word comes out small and unsteady, not causing her any deterrence.
"If we can get past the border of - "
"No," I try again, more firm and she regards me briefly, her eyes brimming with tears.
"I won't let you die."
"I'm not okay with you giving up your life to try and save mine."
"It's not your decision to make," she says quietly, clenching her fists tight enough for her knuckles to whiten, "I won't stand by while they take your life away."
"There's nothing that can be done about that," she bristles at my words, defiance sparking within her but she holds her tongue, "You've exhausted every effort, but they've made their decision."
Her shoulders settle, her posture lilting as she faces me.
"So, that's it?" Sakura says nothing more, enduring only for an answer.
"No. It's just the way things are. It doesn't mean I like it. If I didn't care about you - " I stop when I see her eyes lower, tears slipping down her cheeks.
"I know. If you didn't care about me, we could leave tonight."
"Yes," I feel a foreign consolation that she understands my reasoning without explanation.
"You care too much to let me leave everything I've worked so hard to build behind," her lips quiver and her voice fragments with each word, "Sasuke, how am I supposed to live when you're gone?"
She shuffles under the weight of it all, looking fragile and broken. She holds herself as if it's the only thing keeping her from falling to the ground. It's so unlike her; this fear, this anxiety, this encompassing despair. Yet, I can still recognize her; the selflessness, the compassion. But all I can do is stand here and observe her. I have no answers for us. I just want to remember what a vibrant hue of jade her eyes are. I want to remember the way that she looks at me; not like she's lost, but like she's been found.
"I didn't know how to live before I came back," I pause for a moment, "You showed me how. I was always expecting it to end this way, but I never imagined that it would be hard to come to terms with. I never thought that you would be here, at the end with me," my heart races in my chest as the next thought charges past my lips before I can stop it, "I don't want to leave you alone, Sakura. I'm not ready to say goodbye."
She rushes into my arms, crashing her lips against mine in a feverish display of unfettered longing. Her fingers grasp my hair, my chin, seeking to pull me closer until nothing lays between us. She takes a deep breath when we pause, our mouths still ghosting each other. Her hands slip down my body, resting over my chest and she fixes me with an earnest gaze.
"But tonight you're still mine," there's no lascivious glint in her eyes nor possessive grin. She merely watches me, almost as if asking for permission so that we might have tonight. I want to kiss her doubts away, imprint a sated smile on her beautiful face while I caress between her legs. I'll make her forget that tomorrow is a certainty. I take her hand and lead her upstairs into our room, into our sheets still crumpled from the night before.
I can't stop watching his eyes. His immersive black orbs are open and conveying the cacophony of emotions coursing through him. He undresses slowly, but I can see his hunger. He smirks when I fling my underwear across the room, but I can see his grief. I feel him harden against my hip when we find each other again, standing amidst this unkempt room, but I can see his fear and I want to take it all away. Tonight, I don't want us to feel anything but the pleasure of indulging in the other. Tonight, tomorrow doesn't exist.
Despite the throb of his cock against my skin and the slick arousal gathering between my thighs, we can only seem to hold each other. His arms are at my waist, my cheek on his scarred chest; I hear his steady heartbeat matching the tempo of our actions. It's an invitation to take our time, to explore each other like we've never been able to before.
He laces our fingers together and pulls me to the bed, urging me to lay down as our lips collide. His body covers mine when my back hits the mattress and I find myself astutely aware of the cut of his abdomen, the thickness of his thigh as it spreads my legs, and the strength of his arms as he holds me in place when his mouth assails my neck. My fantasies as a young girl could hold no candle to the real thing. Any other sexual experience in my life is incomparable to having the man I love slinking down my body, biting, sucking, and winding me up until I'm desperate to feel his length inside of me. He bites my nipple and I give a surprised yelp, then he sucks it into his mouth to alleviate the pleasurable pain. I bring a shaky hand up to my mouth as I see him move further south, but he snatches my wrist.
"No," he takes my other wrist and holds both of them in one of his hands. He skims two fingers around the rim of my entrance before slipping shallowly inside. My breath catches in my throat and I buck into his hand, "I want to hear everything."
Slowly, he pushes his fingers into my wet passage and a long, low moan escapes me. I can see the lust flare in his eyes and encouragement spurs him into action, pumping into me harshly, curling his fingers to draw out every sinful sound I can make. My legs spasm and my back arches as his ruthless rhythm pursues. The heat of pleasure rips through my body so quickly that my voice can't keep up, the moans becoming caught in my throat. I writhe under his ravenous gaze and steel grip, trying to find some control, but he won't let me. He's trapped me under his weight and I am at his mercy. There are far worse things, I think, when he tears his fingers from me abruptly. I whine and surge forward, but he pins me back down.
"Sasuke-kun," my voice croaks with the despair of my stolen pleasure. I huff as the numbness of my desire ebbs and I feel the sweat that's gathered between our skin, "I was so close."
"I know," he releases my wrists and steps off the bed. I sit up straight, eyes dropping below his torso. His cock is swollen and twitching under my gaze, but he quickly turns to scoop up his shirt from the ground. He kneels on the bed once more and holds his free hand out. Without hesitation I give him my hand. When he does nothing, I realize what the shirt is for and offer him my other. He wraps the soft cloth over my wrists and ties it securely, "Lay back and close your eyes."
I comply, raising my arms above my head to grasp a pillow tightly. As soon as I close my eyes, I feel his large hands on the inside of my thighs, pushing them apart. In a second, I feel his breath on my aching sex and the next moment, his lips have closed around my clit, drawing circles with his tongue. I cry out, my hips lifting into him, but his hold prevents me from getting very far. In contrast to his aggressive fingers, his mouth offers a more gentle approach. His tongue, his teeth, his lips all work in tandem, coaxing my pleasure out with a tender stimulation. Rather than razing my body with a cogent release, he seems to be building upon my desire as though it were a steady tower. But as soon as I start to tense, chasing the release that eluded me earlier, Sasuke pulls away and bites my thigh hard enough to leave a mark.
"Fuck!" I almost weep in frustration, my eyes snapping open to glare at him, "This isn't fair."
Sasuke smirks, a challenge in his gaze and slides up my body so that I can feel his hard length pressing against my pussy.
"I think it's fair," he presses a soft kiss to my mouth, a strong hand cupping my jaw. I bite his lip and he pulls away with a growl.
"Untie me and I'll show you fair," I dare him. He glides his hand down my neck, over my shoulder, and up my arm until he meets my bound wrists. For a moment, I think he'll comply and excitement rushes through me at the thought of getting to have my way with him.
"I'm not done with you," he kisses me again, a bruising, demanding kiss that I respond to eagerly. It feels as though he's passed a promise between us and sealed it with our lips. When he pulls back, it's only a breath away and he regards me carefully. Under his gaze, I feel coveted and safe in a way I didn't know was possible. He kisses me again, tenderly this time, before settling his hips between my legs. I can feel his tip at my entrance, but he doesn't push in.
"Sasuke-kun, please. I need you," my plea rests between us, thickening the air, but despite the weight of my words, he doesn't flinch. He slides into me slowly, and I tighten around him sharply as if I can draw him further in. His fingers dig painfully into my sides to keep me from taking him deeper and that's when I see the strain appear on his face; he's trying so hard not to lose himself and finish too quickly. So, I take him inch by inch until he's seated to the hilt within me. I can already feel myself teetering on the edge once more now that he's denied me my release twice.
He rocks into me leisurely, groaning softly. I twist my hands around, trying to free myself so that I can take hold of Sasuke. I want to touch him, to derive control and ride him until we're both calling the other's name as we come. He seems to succumb to the same need as he drops his head to the crook of my neck as he pulls out and thrusts into me roughly. I almost scream when I feel him hit my cervix, a dull throb that pairs beautifully with the gratifying stretch of his thick member.
"Sasuke-kun," his hips begin to snap against mine in a quick succession, stealing my breath, "Please - ," a gulp of air, "Ahhh! - Don't stop - ah!"
"Fuck, Sakura," he hisses when I clamp down on him and bites my shoulder. The bruising force of his member delivers such a sweet sting that branches to every eager nerve in my body, "Never."
He continues in his pace, not stuttering for even a moment. Although, I just begged him to keep going, I was hoping to prolong my enjoyment. I want to savor the feeling of him spearing me on his thick cock. But then it comes, an explosive orgasm that devours me whole and has me crying in ecstasy. The intensity of it numbs me and I think it must be from how adamantly he denied me earlier. Waves of aftershocks course through my body as Sasuke thrusts into my release, drawing it out. My body quakes under him as I slowly come down from my high only to be plunged right back into another crescendo by his persistent stride. Every thrust sends a shock through me from my over-sensitized walls, but then he pulls out sharply. Without a word, he flips me over, raising my hips to meet his. I can feel him prodding me again, but before I can utter any persuasion, he drives back into me from behind. He groans in response and I gasp in surprise, reaching for the pillow once more.
Sasuke's fingers are bruising as they dig into my hips to keep me in place as he ruthlessly plunges into me. Now there is no careful rhythm, he is erratic, feverish, chasing this pleasure. He leans over me, pushing himself deeper, as he reaches in front of me and circles my nub, forcing me towards another orgasm quickly. Too quickly.
"S - Sasuke-kun, wait!" he doesn't stop and instead increases the pressure of his fingers. Every fiber in my clit is buzzing with pleasure and I become certain that my world will shatter with my release. I'm absolutely shaking, breaking apart at the seams of my orgasm, then I tip over that familiar cliff and scream my relief into the pillow. He finally falters in his thrusts when I clench around him like a vice, a pained groan escaping him. He slows down, still slipping in with great ease given how much he's made me come, but it gives me time to catch my breath.
He presses the weight of his chest against my back and moves his hand up to my wrists to untie his shirt. Immediately, I reach behind me to tangle my fingers in his hair. He grips my neck, tilting me toward his lips and drives deeply into me. His careful strokes prod the back of my pussy and massage that erogenous spot he knows so well. He takes his time, letting me feel every inch of his thickness as I moan into our kiss. Sasuke's lips leave mine to suck at my neck. His grunts vibrate against my skin as he strives to leave a perfect blemish there.
When he pulls back, he increases his speed, thrusting faster, pushing harder. Every moan is throttled in my throat as he fucks into me without mercy. Then his fingers are back, swirling around my tender nub. No, I can't come again, not so soon, "Mm, fuck, Sasuke-kun, I can't - AH! - I can't - "
"You told me," his teeth tug the lobe of my ear and he rakes his fingers through my hair, tugging my head back. There's a feral look in his eyes, a domineering smirk, and sweat has matted his hair to his forehead, "Not to stop."
He releases me and leans back, bringing my hips higher to achieve a better angle. Everything comes in so sharp in my post orgasmic bliss, as though every touch of his skin and pump of his cock has been amplified a hundredfold. I feel myself careening toward another ardent orgasm and Sasuke pushes me into it with a soft pinch to my susceptible clit.
"Sasuke!" I go limp on the bed as he pulls out of my raw sex. Faintly, I feel his fingers brushing the hair from my face and from my neck. Then, I see his face come into view as he lays beside me. Almost blindly, I reach for him, any part that I can get my hand on, and find his arm.
"I'm still not done with you," he kisses my forehead and pulls me into his side.
"Just let me rest for a second," I rake my fingers lightly down his arm, my breath coming in small pants. His hand slips between my legs again, rubbing against my sore entrance. I turn into him and moan against his shoulder.
"Do you want me to stop?"
I shake my head. As terrifyingly smothering as this pleasure is, I don't want it to end. He smirks and works his fingers inside my pussy, the heel of his hand brushing against my clit.
"Kami, Sasuke-kun. It feels so good," my voice croaks, throat dry from endless mewls of ecstasy. I dig my nails into his bicep, grappling for stability in this sea of passion, but he pulls away, moving down the bed until his lips are at the apex of my thighs once more. He runs his tongue up my slit and sucks my clit into his mouth. I tangle my fingers in his messy locks, pushing him closer. The heat of my yearning presses upon me much like Sasuke's firm grip on my legs. His tongue pushes against me in light, teasing movements, while his teeth graze my sensitive flesh. He has laid the foundation for another shattering orgasm, but this one climbs; one pleasurable sensation over the other and then it rakes through me, rendering me limp and sated. I've lost count, I've lost all concept of space and time. I only know the touch of his skin against mine, the way he brings me to the heights of the most unimaginable pleasure. Kami, I never want this to end.
He doesn't move immediately, letting his lips linger on my heated skin. Then, he's caressing my thighs, my stomach, my breasts, marking me as he moves up my body. Spurred by his tireless efforts, I hook a leg around his waist and flip him onto his back. I grind my sex against his throbbing cock, an unrestrained groan spilling from his mouth. Then I slide down the bed until I'm level with his throbbing member. I run my hand up his length, slick with my juices and his pre-cum. His hooded eyes watch me intently, following each stroke. As my hand rises, I squeeze his tip, savoring the way his eyes screw shut and a thick groan leaves him.
I press my lips against the base of his cock and run my tongue up the underside. Closing my mouth over the head, I take him further, until he reaches the back of my throat. His fingers fly to my hair, tangling and urging me closer as his hips raise up. I swallow against him to keep myself from gagging which earns me an unrestrained curse. I pull back slightly to swirl my tongue around his girth, peering up at him with salacious eyes.
He encourages me further, mesmerized, but I draw myself away, releasing him with a small pop. I move up to straddle his waist, watching as a smirk spreads over his handsome face.
"Fair's fair," I say, grinding into him again. Despite every orgasm that's demolished me, the soreness from our incessant fucking, I grin and glide onto his length.
If this is it, so be it. If my last memory is of her bouncing on top of me, a look of utter ecstasy painted on her pretty face, and her eyes - her eyes. . .
She's watching me with every ounce of love I didn't know it was possible to possess.
"Fuck, Sakura," I pull her down so that she's laying on top of me and claim her lips with mine. There's teeth and tongues as we strive to devour each other. When we pull back, her cheeks are wet, tears dripping off her chin onto me. I reach up to swipe at the trails marring her skin before kissing her again. She moans and raises her hips. She takes me deep, slow and meaningful, savoring the intimacy we've built. It feels good to be so close to her, it feels right. I grip her ass and thrust into her. Staving off release for so long has me nearing a point of desperation.
"Sasuke-kun, come for me," she whispers into my ear like a siren and squeezes her muscles around me. As sinfully gratifying as it sounds to chase completion, all I can think is not yet. I want to stay like this with her forever. But I come anyways, stimulated by her tightening walls and beautiful cries. I empty myself inside of her and she collapses against me, weeping into my shoulder. For a long while, we simply clutch each other, breathing the same air, holding on to this moment for as long as we can.
Despite our exhaustion from the hours spent indulging our carnal desires, we're unable to sleep. Sakura retraces the scars on my body as though she's committing them to memory. Every now and then she'll pause, lifting her eyes and her lips to kiss me before resuming her soft patterns.
"We can still leave," she says, barely above a whisper.
"Sakura," before I can correct the bite of my tone, she leaps off the bed in a fury. I sit up quickly, watching her collect a couple articles of clothing before putting them on. She doesn't spare me a glance and moves downstairs.
I'm sick of crying and I'm tired of being so scared. I've forgotten how it feels to be myself. It's hard to imagine that after all this I could ever get back to that place. That place where I'd found stability and strength in a structured routine. With Sasuke out of sight and out of mind, I was free from heartache. I pull my knees up to my chest and lift my bleary gaze. Sasuke stands in front of me, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, his scar no longer on display.
"If you don't want to be here with me, I'm sure Naruto or Kakashi could come back," his fists clench tightly and he doesn't mask the disappointment in his words. I shoot to my feet.
"How can you be so calm?" I snap, "Why are you so eager to die?!"
"I'm not."
"But you're okay with leaving me and Naruto alone again!" I step right up to him and shove him roughly. He looks taken aback, but doesn't stop me, "You're fine with walking out on us again, aren't you?! Damn it, Sasuke! You think that everything is just going to go back to normal after we watch you die? What the fuck are we supposed to do without you?"
I shove him again and his back hits the wall. I pull my arm back, but take a deep breath and lower my fist. I turn away from him.
"I'm not okay with this, Sakura, but everything I've done has only ever pointed to my life ending like this. I accepted that a long time ago," I hear him give a heavy exhale, "Now you're here and I don't want to accept it, but I don't know what else I can do. If I leave, you get in trouble; we'd never see each other again. If we leave, they'll come after us; we'd never stop running. What kind of life is that?"
"It's a life with you, Sasuke," I say softly, facing him, "Alive."
He is held captive in my gaze, exposed by the vulnerability in my words. I want nothing more than to tear down the last of his walls, to decimate every barrier that still lays between us.
"Of course I don't want to leave you, Sakura," his voice breaks when he whispers my name, "You, Naruto, Kakashi, you're all I have. I can't think of spending the rest of my life with anyone else."
And though we only have a night, a few more hours by now, his words make my heart ache in the most bittersweet way. My eyes sting with the promise of tears the longer I look at him, but I can't pull myself away. He steps within an inch of me, brushing my hair back and pressing his lips against mine softly. I pull him closer as my hunger grows, pouring myself into our kiss. His arms wrap around my waist, holding me tight against him. When I sink into his touch, I feel the exhaustion catching up with me, but I don't want to sleep. I can't waste any time with Sasuke.
The sun is about to rise, but neither of us have slept. Sakura is laying against me, her head in my lap. I'm running my fingers through her hair over and over to quell my nerves. I have to keep her here, but I don't know if I have it in me to leave her like this once more.
"Sakura, you don't have to be there when it happens."
"Of course I will be. I'm not leaving you, Sasuke," she tightens her grip on me, "That's out of the question."
"I don't want you to see me die," I run my fingers along her jaw as our eyes meet. Even in her worn state, opposition burns brilliantly in her gaze.
"I'm not going to let you go through that alone. I'm not leaving you," she repeats, holding my look and waiting for me to concur. But I can't. I won't put her through that.
"You don't have to," I trace the curve of her jaw and rest my hand at the juncture of her neck. Just one pinch, that's all it takes to knock her out.
But, I'm not ready to say goodbye.
The sun hasn't made it over the mountains yet.
Just one pinch.
We both jump as a sharp knock resounds from downstairs.
Sakura's eyes tear as she watches me. She starts to shake her head and sits up. Her hands clasp my face and she kisses me harshly.
"Not yet," she whispers against my mouth. The knocking gets louder, I bring her closer, holding her tightly. "Not yet, I'm not ready."
Suddenly, there's a slam and a group of footsteps coming fast up the stairs. Sakura leaps to her feet, ripping away from me, but I snatch her wrist and pull her back. There's a moment, a flash in her eyes as I'm reaching for her, with my lips and with my hand, where she knows. She can see it in my eyes, but I capture her mouth before she can say anything. I reach for her neck and pinch the nerves there, until she goes slack against me.
Tsunade bursts through the door, the nins stopping short just behind her. She looks between me and Sakura, stiffening.
"I half expected the two of you to have run away by now," she admits, almost disappointed.
"I couldn't put her in that position," I lay Sakura back on the bed gently.
"I wasn't expecting it from you," she crosses her arms over her chest, "And you're okay with her not coming along?" I rake my gaze over her one last time, the curve of her cheeks, the angle of her jaw, the swell of her breasts, that scar on her abdomen, partially hidden by her shirt. I nod, knowing once more that I'm sparing her from pain, "Ready?"
I nod; as ready as I'll ever be.
When I step downstairs, Naruto and Kakashi are waiting by the door, somber but smiling.
"Are you sure you don't want me there?" Naruto clasps a hand on my shoulder, but I shake my head.
"Stay with her, please," he nods and swallows harshly, releasing me as the beginnings of tears appear on his lashes.
"We need to go," Tsunade says softly, "We have to make it to the hospital before it gets busy."
I take another look at Naruto, wanting and needing to say so much more to him, but unable to form the words.
My friend, my rival.
Kakashi puts a hand on my back and leads me out the front door. The sun is peaking over the mountains now and it is almost blinding. The sky is clear, not a cloud to be seen. Tsunade walks in front of us, leading the way on the roundabout path into the village while the soldiers flank us.
Every few seconds I keep looking back, even when the compound disappears, knowing that I'm walking away from the only family I've ever known.
"Will you take care of them when it's over?" I ask quietly. Kakashi gives me a sideways glance.
"Of course," he whispers, his voice light, "But who's going to take care of me?"
"You're our sensei - "
"I haven't been for some time now - "
"You always will be," I say sharply, "I've never thought that you would need us like that."
"I've always needed the three of you. You're the children I never had," he pauses, then I hear the humor in his voice, "And the ones I never wanted after having to deal with you."
I smirk. I used to think I'd been stuck with a pervert, a spaz, and an obsessed admirer. But, I was given a mentor, a brother, a lover, and the greatest teammates I could never have wished for.
"What are you doing here, Sasuke?"
"I've been looking for you, Itachi," Sasuke admitted and turned blindly in a full circle, trying to find the source of the voice.
"Sasuke-kun?"
Was that - ?
"What are you doing here, Sasuke?" He looked but saw no trace of his brother, simply a burning, bright light that seemed to pulsate with the possibility of sentience, "I didn't think I'd see you so soon."
Soon? He hadn't seen his brother in years, not since -
Not since. . .
"I don't remember - "
"You killed me in a field," Itachi spoke so jovial that whatever guilt worked its way into Sasuke's tempered heart had faded before he could think anything of it, "Not even six months have passed."
Sasuke swallowed harshly and watched the light, but he still couldn't make the outline of his brother.
"Sasuke-kun?"
He cocked his head to the side. There it was again, the other voice. It felt as if somebody had seen him across a hall, perhaps turning the corner just as they stepped onto the street. They were calling him, beckoning him over.
"Mother and father are waiting."
Itachi was coaxing him, too. It was almost as though he had a firm hold on Sasuke's arm and was tugging him toward that light. He couldn't deny how inviting the undulating brilliance appeared. It seemed to promise him something and he felt the most peculiar need to find out what that was. He knew it had to hold the cure to all his pain.
"Why am I in pain?"
"You're still holding on."
"To what?"
"To somebody or something," Itachi's timbre took on a sobering note, "You don't want to die yet. You're not ready."
Not yet, I'm not ready.
"Where's Sakura?"
"It's too late, Sasuke," quite suddenly, a hand shot forth from the expanse of light; the only physical manifestation it seemed in this odd little place, "Your spirit may not be willing, but your body is."
"Sasuke-kun?"
"Come with me."
Sasuke felt him tugging again, a pull so strong it became hard to even imagine denying it. He took his brother's hand, an innate sense of calm overwhelming him.
"What if I want to stay?"
"You can't," another jerk, that time harder and almost painful to resist, "It's too late. Come with me. Mother and father can't wait to see you," Sasuke felt something tightening in his chest then at the prospect of being with his family again, "Come home, Sasuke."
He paused, turning away from the light, searching for her voice.
"Sakura?"
Silence was his answer. He waited another moment, waited for her, but it became unbearable. He couldn't resist it any longer. Tightening his hold on Itachi's hand, he walked toward the light and heard her, one last time,
I love you, Sasuke-kun.
"He's gone," Tsunade pulls the needle from Sasuke's limp arm, "Time of death is seven forty-two in the morning."
"Should I notify the morgue, Tsunade-sama?"
"No," she shakes her head, but doesn't take her eyes off the still form on the gurney, "I'll escort the body down myself. What happened here doesn't leave this room. Not until I've figured out how to handle this with the public."
Kakashi squeezes Sasuke's hand and lets go.
I've never known a morning to be so cold, nor this bed to be so empty, but that's what greets me when I open my eyes. For a moment, I don't understand why, and then my bleary vision focuses and I see Naruto sitting beside me. His skin is stained with the tracks of fallen tears. Everything hits me at once and I spring to my feet, making for the exit before Naruto can stop me.
"Sakura, wait!"
I barrel down the stairs and fling open the front door. There are no guards anywhere in sight. Naruto yanks me back into the house, but I push against him.
"No, I have to get to the hospital!"
"Sakura, it's too late," his voice is brittle, ready to break at any moment.
"No, I have to go!" my throat constricts and tears pour down my cheeks, "I have to see him!"
"Sakura," Naruto pulls me by the waist and flings me to the couch before rushing to block the door, "It's too late."
"No!"
"They left this morning - "
"Get out of the way!" I leap from the couch, ready to charge at him.
"He died this morning," Naruto swallows thickly, "It's two in the afternoon."
My knees give out beneath me, but I hear more than feel the loud thump when I hit the ground. I know I'll feel the bruises tomorrow, but all I can do is kneel on the floor and sob. Naruto hurries to my side and envelops me in his arms.
"He can't be gone," I whisper, clutching Naruto.
"I know," he breathes deeply, voice shaking, "It doesn't feel real."
You left us again, Sasuke. How could you? I turn into Naruto's shoulder, repeating that question over and over, but it does nothing. I get no answer and I can place no blame on him. He didn't choose death, he accepted it; I can't hate him for that.
And yet, for it, I will mourn him forever.
Then, I hear footsteps coming from the back of the house. I tear myself away from Naruto and turn, but it's only Kakashi, coming in from the backyard. What was I expecting? Kakashi strides over to me and hugs me tightly.
"He went peacefully, Sakura," Kakashi whispers. I choke on a sob as I try to process that statement. He's gone. I can never see him again. A feeling of suffocation strangles me so I step back from Kakashi and trek to the stairs. I grip the bannister, one foot on the first step, my knuckles going white. I have to be alone. I have to get away.
"I'm going to pack," I glance at the top of the stairs, waiting to see if Sasuke might manifest there, "I'll see you both later."
They say nothing as I ascend the stairs to my bedroom. Although, it doesn't feel like mine anymore. What am I doing here without Sasuke? As I step through the doorframe, all I see are the clothes we so carelessly left strewn around the room each night. I bend down to pick up one of his shirts and bring it close. It smells like him and the feel of the cloth is so familiar to me. I clench the fabric tightly as fresh tears run freely.
What do I do now?
Two Months Later
The village is talking again, whispering behind me as I turn every corner.
Did you hear. . . ?
We can finally rest easy.
I'm so glad you're at peace now.
Poor thing, do you think she's heard?
Yes, I heard. I lived it.
How could she ever be in love with a monster like him?
Loving him was the easy part. I wish I could hate him like you do.
And what about Naruto-san?
Well, we'll never forget.
How could they be friends with the Uchiha?
He was family.
I'm just glad that menace is gone for good.
I'm so glad you feel safe now.
Their words follow me everywhere; through my days, haunting my nights. Every time I hear them I wish I could come home to the man I knew, the one the village remains blind to. If I could come home to his arms, his voice, his smile, maybe their words wouldn't hurt so bad.
"I have your results, Sakura," Tsunade breaks me out of my reverie and closes the door behind her, "But I'm guessing you already know them."
"I just," my voice is hoarse, there's a drought in my throat, "I just wanted to be sure."
"You can be sure. The screening tests show the fetus is healthy, but we can always be more thorough if - " Tsunade breaks off.
"I'm keeping it," my fingers twitch, itching to touch my stomach. I gather my things and stand, "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."
She stalls me with a hand on my shoulder as I exit.
"I'm here if you need me, Sakura. You don't have to go through this alone."
I nod, sparing her a glance and walk forward. I leave the hospital in a daze, oblivious to my coworkers, heedless to my surroundings. I had my suspicions, but in my denial I attributed my symptoms to poor self-care. Of course I'm pregnant. I was too busy grieving Sasuke to worry about contraception.
With barely a thought, I start walking for my mother's home; she's been so helpful these past few weeks, since I "came back." But I can't go today. I stop in my tracks. I'm not ready to share this with anyone. Am I capable of being a mother? How can I possibly take care of somebody else? An infant at that. What will people think?
I turn around and walk to the compound.
But it's Sasuke's child. I'm carrying the last Uchiha. Don't I have a responsibility?
I step onto the deserted pathway and walk the familiar march to Sasuke's house. Pushing open the front door that nobody bothered to lock after we left, I stride into the desolate foyer. Everywhere I look I can place him, a memory we shared for each corner of the house. I drop my bag by the couch and proceed up the stairs. I look to the left and see the sheets have been stripped and the shutters closed. It is empty and cold in here, even in our old room, I think, as I step into it once more. The room is dark, but the bed is still made, and his shirt lays in the center, just where I left it.
Without a thought, I rest my hand on my stomach. I'm not showing, it's too early, but I need this strength now. I need this promise to quell the pain. I kick off my shoes and lay on the bed next to his shirt. It doesn't smell like him anymore. It could just be a piece of clothing if not for his family's emblem sewn into it. Even more so, it's been all I've had of him, until today.
Shutting my eyes, I hold my stomach and try to envision myself in a few months, swollen, fast approaching a new chapter in my life. My mother would be happy. Naruto would be the godfather obviously. Kakashi would be like an uncle. Ino would be the most annoying auntie ever. . .
But I'm not doing it for them. I shake the thoughts out of my head. I'm not doing it out of obligation. I won't go through with it for the sake of raising a clan from the ashes. I'm keeping this child, because from the second I knew - not when Tsunade confirmed it for me, but when I just knew - somewhere within myself I knew, I realized I loved this child and I hadn't even met them yet.
My baby.
Not just Sasuke's, but mine, too.
Our child; my sliver of hope, and his rebirth.
Whoa guys. Goodness gracious. This took FOREVER to upload, mainly because of me, but a little bit on fanfiction's part, too. Just saying. I never thought this was going to end, most especially this chapter. A huge resounding thank you to anyone who bothered to read this story in part or full or just for the lemons; I have serious gratitude for you. Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I did. So, this was the original ending. I started this story with the idea that he was always going to die in the end. I'm a sucker for angsty stories.
The alternate ending (I'm sure you can all imagine what that will include) is going to be uploaded as the next chapter. I decided I wanted to get this up first because of how long it had been since the previous update (apologies). So for those of you wanting to read the alternate ending, yay, the story is almost over!
Again, everyone just thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to review, whether it was negative or positive. :) xo
