p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0209b7262ecd1885c0786446fbbe413d"Every cell in my body hurts./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1a611cdf420ebf054bc4f5d4412c1b8b"I can't feel most of myself, and I have no idea where I am. My head is pounding, and my mouth feels like old dry cotton and is so numb I can't stand it. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"What happened to me..?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="db221d50cbce54a1e7a56217c071ac8f"My eyes are blurring, and I feel sick. Wherever I am, it is unbearably dark. As well as cramped; it smells like something died in here. I would try to think of where I might be, if any of my thoughts would stink together in my head long enough. Or were coherent enough for me to understand./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7401b9fc1724b00ee1e6875c1c45ccde"When I try to sit up, I smack my head on what feels like either heavy plastic or some kind of metal; at the same time, I feel a horrible sore pain spike through me. I immediately want to cry - I can't tell where it's coming from or why I am hurting so badly. My confusion doesn't help me any. When I panic, I begin to freak out and am hard to be calmed down. This time is no different./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b2fd3f149226e9a9670f37118984176a"Amidst my fear, I force my weak left arm to push up of whatever is above me. My other arm is trapped under me, so it takes time. By the time I am almost out of air, I have the barrier pushed out of the way and can make my way out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="14c6731087e5e8c857eeca57bfbe7fa0"My 'way out,' being to fall out and further knock the wind out of myself. I lay on the ground for what feels like an eternity. It takes ages for any strength to come, and even then I can barely function. When I try to stand, I am again shocked by the piercing of an ungodly pain; my legs buckle, and I fall again. I am too inebriated right now to understand much, my world is fogged and uneven, it looks so weird to me. Like I have been tossed somewhere where I have never been before./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="058c72910d2e0ffc9badbc0442c23c59"When the rain starts, it washes away the stickiness of where I've been sobbing. It also soaks me to the bone, making this dress I'm in, that I've never seen before, cling to my body as if for dear life. The feeling of the rain is cool enough to help me try to stand again. I am thankful that the icy water also seems to be waking me up somewhat from whatever influence I'm under./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="248cf74668405e1b569726e86a0d9ab0"How I finally found my way home, Heaven only knows. I have no idea what state I am in appearance wise; people keep staring and it makes me feel uneasy. What do they know about me; the stumbling and tearstain-faced young woman, that I don't?/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4ede9039cc5f49b5a6dcbca0ab62db82"****/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="42d1ab746c812ffe2d97b379448369db"What happened to me, I am not sure that I will ever fully remember. What I do remember comes to me in flashes, or in nightmares. I haven't been able to sleep since then, and I haven't been able to make myself eat, either. Anna knows something is wrong with me, because every time she sees me, she walks up to me and whines while pawing at my foot. When I first came into my apartment, Anna ran right up to me. She immediately began to snarl at my dress, which I still don't recognize. I was lucky enough that whoever decided to throw me in a dumpster threw me in with my purse still tangled around me. Everything was still in it, so I guess either they didn't care if someone found me, or they were in too much of a hurry to remember there were things on me that could identify me if I were found./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d0152339a8a6e0220f9fedcaa79f8ddb"The thought is still horrifying. Now that my mind has slowly been coming back to normal, I can put the bits and pieces of what I remember together. I most likely should have gone to the hospital, though I have no idea what I would tell them. I am not even a hundred percent sure what happened to me in the first place. I should probably have expected something bad to happen to me, anyway. Johnny Diavonni is not a nice man. The moment he started being nice to me, I should have ran. Whatever happened to me, I guess I must have deserved it. I really wish I'd been dumped somewhere that wasn't a dumpster, though. Because that just furthers my belief that I was regarded as nothing but something to be used and thrown away. However true or untrue that may be, it hurts either way./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0aa108cfe3e0c2f3ea80e6764196a1d6"I remember quitting my job. That much is still clear. I quit my job, then my ex-boss convinced me to go out to dinner with him. After that, things are kind of fuzzy. I think he got me to go back to his place after we ate, though much past that I can't fully call to mind. I am not sure I want to, anyway./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="78603eaebb6feae5cab557d2ffdf3139"I have taken so many baths; I feel like if I take even just one more, I will melt my skin off my bones. For some reason, this is not too unappealing. At least I would finally be out of my misery. I don't know what I'd do about Anna though..even if I were able to put myself out of my misery, I would still feel horrible that I left Anna behind to starve./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="aea45ea753c289661bd63d336a6aeced"That being said, I have been 'taking care' of my pain and stunting the memories the best way that I know how. It's not something I should be doing - I know if Lou knew I was doing it again, she would be heartbroken. The first time she found me doing it, she actually started crying. She wouldn't let me have anything sharp for months until I promised her I would only use them to cut food or packages, and not myself./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d3522c076183987a98d959af0bce2c25"I am in the middle of trying to 'fix' my problems, when I notice my rose has died too. It is hung over the edge of the vase, its petals are all closed up and withered. It looks so dried up, and as if it is as full as about as much hope for life that I am right now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1173262a4c239cc3b80bd5a418498ea0"I am about to add another thin red line to my arm, when I hear a knock at the door. It is followed by another after a few seconds, quicker this time. Almost like whoever it is that is standing there is upset, or frantic to get me to come to the door. I am tempted to ignore it, but Anna won't stop scratching at the door and barking at me to open it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a5d5787aae601aee325d4c45f83ec77b"Finally, I give in./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="455831477b82574f6bf871193f2f761d"****/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d7cb5504ab33e82357e202b29ed2ffe8"Though I only open the door a crack, his bright green eyes seem to know something is wrong with me. There stands someone who I haven't seen in...maybe weeks. I don't remember how long ago it was now. Loki./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="647e88a1544956b70858e699e8a318e6""Meaghan.. are you alright?" his question is soft, yet full of concern and a look in his eyes that almost makes me feel like he em style="box-sizing: border-box;"knows/em. My stomach pinches, and I lick my lower lip, but I can't make any words come out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ef5a4ada7b626e5e64c6bd3e406e3788"When I am quiet and don't say anything, his eyes go from scanning my face for an answer to my wrist I am trying to hide from his view. I don't want him to worry about me. I don't need him to worry about me. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"He can leave./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d693b149581e1897d5a2d7a6b42ee6db"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"He needs to go away - I don't have to tell him what's wrong with me./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b1cacc36c1c664b8c6f7c4dda6f3b0e3"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"It's not his business./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="12e5ed93808f3b89a29a7abf20cd56c0"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Why should he care, anyway?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a55c2d15a95c7b495bece671d4c6767f"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"...More than that, though..What..would he think..? If he knew..?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9361594c47b8730aaf58528a901abc63"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"He would probably think I deserved it, too.../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="6461301bf8d90c0eb9fa20cfe7cdd7c3"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"After all, whatever happened..it as my fault. I went of my own free will../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="99907b45a0f22002f8a0067060a08cde""You're bleeding." he sounds startled now, looking directly at my bleeding cuts. I shake my head, trying to squeeze out the words to tell him I'm fine; nothing comes out and my eyes start to water instead. I hate to see the look of sympathy and concern for me in his eyes. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"No one should have to care about me./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="51ebdb283f330a290ee977c478225245"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I can worry about myself on my own../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="14d41bf6958f13739821842e0092c306""Meaghan...let me in, please?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9e57b20b60c0d28fa93cbb651d705eb9"In spite of the fact that I am trying to shut the door, Loki seems to be determined to get past it anyway. Something in how he says it, it hits me in just the right way for me to start crying again. My hand falls away from the door, going to try and smear away my tears so he won't see me cry. I feel so terrible, so guilty..so...em style="box-sizing: border-box;"ruined/em. Why is he trying so hard to help me..? I was nice to him before..that doesn't mean that I have to be now..does it?/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="431d8e6977b6cc028fa41cd01e68bc12"To my surprise, he doesn't say any more for the moment. Instead, he picks me up bridal style and carries me into the kitchen, setting me on the counter. The old brass scissors I stole from Mrs. Pitterling years ago, are pried out of my hand and discarded into the sink. Cold water is ran over my cuts, then I hear him ripping off pieces of his shirt. I can feel where Loki is wrapping my wrists up, though it barely registers./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="82aefa20b0597cfbf05a82546245d1da"When both wrists have been successfully bandaged, he turns my face so he can look at me. His brows are knit in concentration as if he is trying to read me. He brushes my tears away with his thumb and picks me up again, seeming to have given up on reading me for now. After picking me up again, I am wrapped up in a blanket and carried to the couch; there, he pulls me close and lets me cry without doing anything more than hugging me. In case of the blanket, I am guessing that he remembered where I kept them from the last time he was here and I got it out - as well as the fact that I think I made mention that this blanket was my favorite./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="30ce4bcc6cdc98bfb92319da9f264c23"How long I am there, and how long I cry for, I do not remember. All I remember, is falling asleep at some point. Too exhausted to think much about it, but feeling safe enough to close my eyes in the first place. When I wake up, I am surprised and somewhat relieved, to see that he hasn't left yet. He is still in the same spot as earlier, silently waiting for me to wake up./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="05d2edb6f921ba436961d823ff65fb25"For some reason, this helps ease away some of the sick feeling in my stomach that has been rooted there for so long. Anna seems content as well, I think she got up on the couch too..I can't feel my feet so I think she is laying on them. For once...I think I feel a little bit better./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0a886756901c27f0780e2b8fc78c4636"Maybe./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0efa02edc57b0769050a30e613efa4fe"****br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /My recuperation is slow, and by all means extremely painstaking. I have a hard time speaking still, and I can't smile. I still flinch sometimes when I'm touched, though I've tried to stop. It's difficult. I'm glad Loki has been so patient with me, and has been being so nice to me. He comes over every day to help me, and insists that I make sure I sleep when I need to and eat what food he leaves for me. I have a hard time making myself function, so he has been taking care of everything. My chores. My food. Anna. Even my bills seem to have become nonexistent./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1588446403bb128a261b8aff77b8dc12"Why he is doing all of this, I still don't understand. He doesn't know me. I barely know him. I don't even know where he came from. And yet, he is treating me as if he has known me all my life./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4ede0d11c64e4ac9403ba823d8e07503"At night when I can't sleep, all I have to do is call the number he gave me. I don't have to say anything; he comes right over if he isn't still with me, makes sure I am comfortable, reads to me until I fall asleep and then when I wake up I have a note and food for breakfast./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9f23d44828c344a30c688224c6e570e0"Something else that strikes me as strange.. This morning when I woke up, my one blue rose multiplied into a dozen beautiful roses. The soft smell of them filled the kitchen, and for some reason gave me an unusual feeling of comfort./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="dc7739737ef9ed599cd8cbf3b3ef0e2d"Although I am still having trouble functioning, Anna seems to be doing much better now. She looks to have picked up some weight, and has started following me around again. If anything, I can be glad for the fact that Anna is doing better. She'd make a good mother, I think. I'm not sure if she'll have the chance, but I think she'd make some really cute puppies..just like her mama did./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1a4d74150b0b30c7fc82e1c9e38e50e9"Without having work to go to anymore, or the desire to look for a new job, I don't really have much to do. Aside from waiting for Loki to come to my apartment, since I know there's more chance than not that he will./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a968e20108a5bfa9ef4ff5f2c8035c38"The only question, is when; em style="box-sizing: border-box;"and what do I do until then?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="e60df0d9d5f31b8a69dafac110f8f0d4"****/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a7b6760057239f553846a09cc509c6aa"As for where Loki was, he was currently sat back in one of his best thinking spots; he'd gone home to try to get his thoughts straight./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="6facfad9c397f3f71d4baaa6a7930540"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Something is not right with her. I do not believe I am the only one to think so, as her pet dog seems to be aware of it as well. What exactly it is, I have yet to figure out. While I have my suspicions, I do not think it best to ask her. I would likely not get an answer anyway- Meaghan hasn't been talking. She has not spoken a single word in a very long time; she seems to be quite on edge as well. Whatever happened to her, I think must have been very bad./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="6290f65601b0b438b3daf47befcbda4a"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"In which case, I would really like to know. Whoever it was..has me to deal with when I find out who they are./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="af6bf61c7106c26f7dd1aac1ccc1ff57"Doing which, took him awhile. There was a lot to think about. Meaghan's strange change in behavior, for one. That, as well as his suspicions of her. Not bad ones, however./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d8757ef66b3565b7208fd7d66992b1f3"He had had a friend, when he was very young. Still a child, in fact. Thor was not a great amount older, though he had seemed to be just as fond of their friend as Loki was. To their mother, it seemed like she thought her one of her own children. She had been friends with Meaghan's mother - her birth mother - before their home was destroyed. Meaghan's name wasn't actually Meaghan, though, it was Imora. That is, if Loki's assumptions were correct./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f444e499446d477c80a156c3a9b7719b"The only real way that he would know, would be to ask the one person he knew he could get answers from. His parents had not said a word of it since the news came of the loss of Meaghan's home; no one else had either, it was odd. It had began to cross Loki's mind that maybe they didn't remember - by an act not their own. If that were true, it would also mean that his memories were style="box-sizing: border-box;" But..for what purpose..? /em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="55c1a43a5cc05e88b97bab1eee3cba65""Heimdall."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0dc15887f60af8ab5c678fe0dc3f4d2d"Though Loki knew he need not to announce his presence, it came as a force of habit./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4290ac798216598e12aa0c1a449d3a93""I have need of your help."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="29de48c17454f2635416ac9d1e37f06e""You wish to know the identity of the Earth woman." His response was flat, manner-of-fact. He knew both why Loki had come, as well as the answer to all of his questions. Some of which, he would be glad for. Others, he would wish he had never been told./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="cec88dddf34efff23c1f6539993c01d4""I do."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="52a61566591088b03820d57d77bd9a94""You think her to be a friend from your childhood. I believe it has been said she died, with the rest of her people. I also believe I was informed, that no one was supposed to remember the occurrence." He said, shifting where he stood. There was no real change in his tone, save for a slight rise at the end, suggesting a question./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1657c344249e4a928beac9977c8fc76c""Nor em style="box-sizing: border-box;"her/em. Though I do; I want to know. Tell me, am I right?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="611afc1971f73bc8bbc66bc42c6033c7"Heimdall paused. He sighed softly, then slowly nodded to him. "You are. She lives." He seemed to be reluctant to give in, though added simply "You are correct."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="72b65699a6dbfb641b710225d15ca812""You knew. You have always known." Loki frowned. "Yet you did not think to tell us, why?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="531db7f4a7dc9cf4010030bff76ad688""I had no need to tell you. To do so would be against the wishes of my king."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="37aa4005224c9c348187e2765fc26a12"Loki shook his head "Had you of informed me sooner, there would be nothing wrong with her now!" His calm demeanor was starting to falter, giving way to a frustration not entirely aimed at the watcher./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="e358a007bcb9f0297283cd7318dd15a8""I had no need to tell you." Heimdall repeated. "What use is there to inform someone of something they already know?" He questioned, looking over his shoulder at Loki./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a15f666c93f9f02bd05ba9480a1a5305"This gave him pause. His brows remained knit, and he frowned in silence. Finally, he looked up. "Tell me now; what happened to her?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c291954bf6164398f1097138a5d1850e"This question brought the first true change to Heimdall's posture. He shifted as if he were made uncomfortable by the question. He knew, though he did not think Loki would want to know. "That is not a question you want me to answer, Loki." He said lowly, a solemn tone in his voice./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0f871770c3018913a4e56b79293155d8""Heimdall. Tell me." Loki said, walking over now to face Heimdall directly. "I need to know. She has not spoken a word to me in a very long time.. I would have read her mind, I admit. Though you know as well as I that would only do more harm than good right now. So..please. Tell me." His frustration remained, though softened slightly. He was concerned, not only because Meaghan had once been his closest friend, but because he was becoming quite fond of her again. In the least, protective. He wanted to bring her home.. perhaps to show that he too, like Thor, could do something his parents could be proud of. Aside from his own wishes, Loki thought Meaghan had right to know the truth. In his mind, no one should have to go all their life believing a lie. They should know the truth..as soon as it could possibly be told./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="5faf756186d2a944f19e1ad8c92b4d27""You are only asking to bring pain to yourself," Heimdall warned, his eyes now trained on the younger prince. "It is not something you should take lightly. Should I show you, I advise you highly; do not ask her of it. It will set back any chance to bring her back to Asgard very far." A flicker of a smile crossed his face, before it vanished. He knew what Loki had planned. He had always known; when the time was right, he would be the one to bring Meaghan back to them. He had been close to her as a child, despite their age difference. His closeness to her, growth in the magical arts, and overall developing personality made him the right one for the job. Or, Heimdall judged it so. This was why he had taken liberty to shield Loki's memories of her./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="16e2a28ad32a07fe53a26fe862aff580""Give me your word, you will not ask her to speak of it."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b1fcf36ca8c5788f39134d2e60a720be"Loki paused, wondering once more what it could possibly be. Finally, he agreed./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a09c4f7c98c8b35db2e59b2bb3a525bb""You have my word."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1a611cdf420ebf054bc4f5d4412c1b8b"I can't feel most of myself, and I have no idea where I am. My head is pounding, and my mouth feels like old dry cotton and is so numb I can't stand it. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"What happened to me..?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="db221d50cbce54a1e7a56217c071ac8f"My eyes are blurring, and I feel sick. Wherever I am, it is unbearably dark. As well as cramped; it smells like something died in here. I would try to think of where I might be, if any of my thoughts would stink together in my head long enough. Or were coherent enough for me to understand./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7401b9fc1724b00ee1e6875c1c45ccde"When I try to sit up, I smack my head on what feels like either heavy plastic or some kind of metal; at the same time, I feel a horrible sore pain spike through me. I immediately want to cry - I can't tell where it's coming from or why I am hurting so badly. My confusion doesn't help me any. When I panic, I begin to freak out and am hard to be calmed down. This time is no different./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b2fd3f149226e9a9670f37118984176a"Amidst my fear, I force my weak left arm to push up of whatever is above me. My other arm is trapped under me, so it takes time. By the time I am almost out of air, I have the barrier pushed out of the way and can make my way out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="14c6731087e5e8c857eeca57bfbe7fa0"My 'way out,' being to fall out and further knock the wind out of myself. I lay on the ground for what feels like an eternity. It takes ages for any strength to come, and even then I can barely function. When I try to stand, I am again shocked by the piercing of an ungodly pain; my legs buckle, and I fall again. I am too inebriated right now to understand much, my world is fogged and uneven, it looks so weird to me. Like I have been tossed somewhere where I have never been before./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="058c72910d2e0ffc9badbc0442c23c59"When the rain starts, it washes away the stickiness of where I've been sobbing. It also soaks me to the bone, making this dress I'm in, that I've never seen before, cling to my body as if for dear life. The feeling of the rain is cool enough to help me try to stand again. I am thankful that the icy water also seems to be waking me up somewhat from whatever influence I'm under./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="248cf74668405e1b569726e86a0d9ab0"How I finally found my way home, Heaven only knows. I have no idea what state I am in appearance wise; people keep staring and it makes me feel uneasy. What do they know about me; the stumbling and tearstain-faced young woman, that I don't?/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4ede9039cc5f49b5a6dcbca0ab62db82"****/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="42d1ab746c812ffe2d97b379448369db"What happened to me, I am not sure that I will ever fully remember. What I do remember comes to me in flashes, or in nightmares. I haven't been able to sleep since then, and I haven't been able to make myself eat, either. Anna knows something is wrong with me, because every time she sees me, she walks up to me and whines while pawing at my foot. When I first came into my apartment, Anna ran right up to me. She immediately began to snarl at my dress, which I still don't recognize. I was lucky enough that whoever decided to throw me in a dumpster threw me in with my purse still tangled around me. Everything was still in it, so I guess either they didn't care if someone found me, or they were in too much of a hurry to remember there were things on me that could identify me if I were found./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d0152339a8a6e0220f9fedcaa79f8ddb"The thought is still horrifying. Now that my mind has slowly been coming back to normal, I can put the bits and pieces of what I remember together. I most likely should have gone to the hospital, though I have no idea what I would tell them. I am not even a hundred percent sure what happened to me in the first place. I should probably have expected something bad to happen to me, anyway. Johnny Diavonni is not a nice man. The moment he started being nice to me, I should have ran. Whatever happened to me, I guess I must have deserved it. I really wish I'd been dumped somewhere that wasn't a dumpster, though. Because that just furthers my belief that I was regarded as nothing but something to be used and thrown away. However true or untrue that may be, it hurts either way./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0aa108cfe3e0c2f3ea80e6764196a1d6"I remember quitting my job. That much is still clear. I quit my job, then my ex-boss convinced me to go out to dinner with him. After that, things are kind of fuzzy. I think he got me to go back to his place after we ate, though much past that I can't fully call to mind. I am not sure I want to, anyway./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="78603eaebb6feae5cab557d2ffdf3139"I have taken so many baths; I feel like if I take even just one more, I will melt my skin off my bones. For some reason, this is not too unappealing. At least I would finally be out of my misery. I don't know what I'd do about Anna though..even if I were able to put myself out of my misery, I would still feel horrible that I left Anna behind to starve./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="aea45ea753c289661bd63d336a6aeced"That being said, I have been 'taking care' of my pain and stunting the memories the best way that I know how. It's not something I should be doing - I know if Lou knew I was doing it again, she would be heartbroken. The first time she found me doing it, she actually started crying. She wouldn't let me have anything sharp for months until I promised her I would only use them to cut food or packages, and not myself./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d3522c076183987a98d959af0bce2c25"I am in the middle of trying to 'fix' my problems, when I notice my rose has died too. It is hung over the edge of the vase, its petals are all closed up and withered. It looks so dried up, and as if it is as full as about as much hope for life that I am right now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1173262a4c239cc3b80bd5a418498ea0"I am about to add another thin red line to my arm, when I hear a knock at the door. It is followed by another after a few seconds, quicker this time. Almost like whoever it is that is standing there is upset, or frantic to get me to come to the door. I am tempted to ignore it, but Anna won't stop scratching at the door and barking at me to open it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a5d5787aae601aee325d4c45f83ec77b"Finally, I give in./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="455831477b82574f6bf871193f2f761d"****/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d7cb5504ab33e82357e202b29ed2ffe8"Though I only open the door a crack, his bright green eyes seem to know something is wrong with me. There stands someone who I haven't seen in...maybe weeks. I don't remember how long ago it was now. Loki./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="647e88a1544956b70858e699e8a318e6""Meaghan.. are you alright?" his question is soft, yet full of concern and a look in his eyes that almost makes me feel like he em style="box-sizing: border-box;"knows/em. My stomach pinches, and I lick my lower lip, but I can't make any words come out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ef5a4ada7b626e5e64c6bd3e406e3788"When I am quiet and don't say anything, his eyes go from scanning my face for an answer to my wrist I am trying to hide from his view. I don't want him to worry about me. I don't need him to worry about me. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"He can leave./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d693b149581e1897d5a2d7a6b42ee6db"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"He needs to go away - I don't have to tell him what's wrong with me./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b1cacc36c1c664b8c6f7c4dda6f3b0e3"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"It's not his business./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="12e5ed93808f3b89a29a7abf20cd56c0"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Why should he care, anyway?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a55c2d15a95c7b495bece671d4c6767f"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"...More than that, though..What..would he think..? If he knew..?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9361594c47b8730aaf58528a901abc63"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"He would probably think I deserved it, too.../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="6461301bf8d90c0eb9fa20cfe7cdd7c3"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"After all, whatever happened..it as my fault. I went of my own free will../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="99907b45a0f22002f8a0067060a08cde""You're bleeding." he sounds startled now, looking directly at my bleeding cuts. I shake my head, trying to squeeze out the words to tell him I'm fine; nothing comes out and my eyes start to water instead. I hate to see the look of sympathy and concern for me in his eyes. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"No one should have to care about me./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="51ebdb283f330a290ee977c478225245"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I can worry about myself on my own../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="14d41bf6958f13739821842e0092c306""Meaghan...let me in, please?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9e57b20b60c0d28fa93cbb651d705eb9"In spite of the fact that I am trying to shut the door, Loki seems to be determined to get past it anyway. Something in how he says it, it hits me in just the right way for me to start crying again. My hand falls away from the door, going to try and smear away my tears so he won't see me cry. I feel so terrible, so guilty..so...em style="box-sizing: border-box;"ruined/em. Why is he trying so hard to help me..? I was nice to him before..that doesn't mean that I have to be now..does it?/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="431d8e6977b6cc028fa41cd01e68bc12"To my surprise, he doesn't say any more for the moment. Instead, he picks me up bridal style and carries me into the kitchen, setting me on the counter. The old brass scissors I stole from Mrs. Pitterling years ago, are pried out of my hand and discarded into the sink. Cold water is ran over my cuts, then I hear him ripping off pieces of his shirt. I can feel where Loki is wrapping my wrists up, though it barely registers./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="82aefa20b0597cfbf05a82546245d1da"When both wrists have been successfully bandaged, he turns my face so he can look at me. His brows are knit in concentration as if he is trying to read me. He brushes my tears away with his thumb and picks me up again, seeming to have given up on reading me for now. After picking me up again, I am wrapped up in a blanket and carried to the couch; there, he pulls me close and lets me cry without doing anything more than hugging me. In case of the blanket, I am guessing that he remembered where I kept them from the last time he was here and I got it out - as well as the fact that I think I made mention that this blanket was my favorite./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="30ce4bcc6cdc98bfb92319da9f264c23"How long I am there, and how long I cry for, I do not remember. All I remember, is falling asleep at some point. Too exhausted to think much about it, but feeling safe enough to close my eyes in the first place. When I wake up, I am surprised and somewhat relieved, to see that he hasn't left yet. He is still in the same spot as earlier, silently waiting for me to wake up./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="05d2edb6f921ba436961d823ff65fb25"For some reason, this helps ease away some of the sick feeling in my stomach that has been rooted there for so long. Anna seems content as well, I think she got up on the couch too..I can't feel my feet so I think she is laying on them. For once...I think I feel a little bit better./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0a886756901c27f0780e2b8fc78c4636"Maybe./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0efa02edc57b0769050a30e613efa4fe"****br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /My recuperation is slow, and by all means extremely painstaking. I have a hard time speaking still, and I can't smile. I still flinch sometimes when I'm touched, though I've tried to stop. It's difficult. I'm glad Loki has been so patient with me, and has been being so nice to me. He comes over every day to help me, and insists that I make sure I sleep when I need to and eat what food he leaves for me. I have a hard time making myself function, so he has been taking care of everything. My chores. My food. Anna. Even my bills seem to have become nonexistent./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1588446403bb128a261b8aff77b8dc12"Why he is doing all of this, I still don't understand. He doesn't know me. I barely know him. I don't even know where he came from. And yet, he is treating me as if he has known me all my life./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4ede0d11c64e4ac9403ba823d8e07503"At night when I can't sleep, all I have to do is call the number he gave me. I don't have to say anything; he comes right over if he isn't still with me, makes sure I am comfortable, reads to me until I fall asleep and then when I wake up I have a note and food for breakfast./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9f23d44828c344a30c688224c6e570e0"Something else that strikes me as strange.. This morning when I woke up, my one blue rose multiplied into a dozen beautiful roses. The soft smell of them filled the kitchen, and for some reason gave me an unusual feeling of comfort./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="dc7739737ef9ed599cd8cbf3b3ef0e2d"Although I am still having trouble functioning, Anna seems to be doing much better now. She looks to have picked up some weight, and has started following me around again. If anything, I can be glad for the fact that Anna is doing better. She'd make a good mother, I think. I'm not sure if she'll have the chance, but I think she'd make some really cute puppies..just like her mama did./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1a4d74150b0b30c7fc82e1c9e38e50e9"Without having work to go to anymore, or the desire to look for a new job, I don't really have much to do. Aside from waiting for Loki to come to my apartment, since I know there's more chance than not that he will./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a968e20108a5bfa9ef4ff5f2c8035c38"The only question, is when; em style="box-sizing: border-box;"and what do I do until then?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="e60df0d9d5f31b8a69dafac110f8f0d4"****/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a7b6760057239f553846a09cc509c6aa"As for where Loki was, he was currently sat back in one of his best thinking spots; he'd gone home to try to get his thoughts straight./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="6facfad9c397f3f71d4baaa6a7930540"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Something is not right with her. I do not believe I am the only one to think so, as her pet dog seems to be aware of it as well. What exactly it is, I have yet to figure out. While I have my suspicions, I do not think it best to ask her. I would likely not get an answer anyway- Meaghan hasn't been talking. She has not spoken a single word in a very long time; she seems to be quite on edge as well. Whatever happened to her, I think must have been very bad./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="6290f65601b0b438b3daf47befcbda4a"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"In which case, I would really like to know. Whoever it was..has me to deal with when I find out who they are./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="af6bf61c7106c26f7dd1aac1ccc1ff57"Doing which, took him awhile. There was a lot to think about. Meaghan's strange change in behavior, for one. That, as well as his suspicions of her. Not bad ones, however./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d8757ef66b3565b7208fd7d66992b1f3"He had had a friend, when he was very young. Still a child, in fact. Thor was not a great amount older, though he had seemed to be just as fond of their friend as Loki was. To their mother, it seemed like she thought her one of her own children. She had been friends with Meaghan's mother - her birth mother - before their home was destroyed. Meaghan's name wasn't actually Meaghan, though, it was Imora. That is, if Loki's assumptions were correct./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f444e499446d477c80a156c3a9b7719b"The only real way that he would know, would be to ask the one person he knew he could get answers from. His parents had not said a word of it since the news came of the loss of Meaghan's home; no one else had either, it was odd. It had began to cross Loki's mind that maybe they didn't remember - by an act not their own. If that were true, it would also mean that his memories were style="box-sizing: border-box;" But..for what purpose..? /em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="55c1a43a5cc05e88b97bab1eee3cba65""Heimdall."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0dc15887f60af8ab5c678fe0dc3f4d2d"Though Loki knew he need not to announce his presence, it came as a force of habit./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4290ac798216598e12aa0c1a449d3a93""I have need of your help."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="29de48c17454f2635416ac9d1e37f06e""You wish to know the identity of the Earth woman." His response was flat, manner-of-fact. He knew both why Loki had come, as well as the answer to all of his questions. Some of which, he would be glad for. Others, he would wish he had never been told./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="cec88dddf34efff23c1f6539993c01d4""I do."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="52a61566591088b03820d57d77bd9a94""You think her to be a friend from your childhood. I believe it has been said she died, with the rest of her people. I also believe I was informed, that no one was supposed to remember the occurrence." He said, shifting where he stood. There was no real change in his tone, save for a slight rise at the end, suggesting a question./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="1657c344249e4a928beac9977c8fc76c""Nor em style="box-sizing: border-box;"her/em. Though I do; I want to know. Tell me, am I right?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="611afc1971f73bc8bbc66bc42c6033c7"Heimdall paused. He sighed softly, then slowly nodded to him. "You are. She lives." He seemed to be reluctant to give in, though added simply "You are correct."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="72b65699a6dbfb641b710225d15ca812""You knew. You have always known." Loki frowned. "Yet you did not think to tell us, why?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="531db7f4a7dc9cf4010030bff76ad688""I had no need to tell you. To do so would be against the wishes of my king."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="37aa4005224c9c348187e2765fc26a12"Loki shook his head "Had you of informed me sooner, there would be nothing wrong with her now!" His calm demeanor was starting to falter, giving way to a frustration not entirely aimed at the watcher./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="e358a007bcb9f0297283cd7318dd15a8""I had no need to tell you." Heimdall repeated. "What use is there to inform someone of something they already know?" He questioned, looking over his shoulder at Loki./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a15f666c93f9f02bd05ba9480a1a5305"This gave him pause. His brows remained knit, and he frowned in silence. Finally, he looked up. "Tell me now; what happened to her?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c291954bf6164398f1097138a5d1850e"This question brought the first true change to Heimdall's posture. He shifted as if he were made uncomfortable by the question. He knew, though he did not think Loki would want to know. "That is not a question you want me to answer, Loki." He said lowly, a solemn tone in his voice./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0f871770c3018913a4e56b79293155d8""Heimdall. Tell me." Loki said, walking over now to face Heimdall directly. "I need to know. She has not spoken a word to me in a very long time.. I would have read her mind, I admit. Though you know as well as I that would only do more harm than good right now. So..please. Tell me." His frustration remained, though softened slightly. He was concerned, not only because Meaghan had once been his closest friend, but because he was becoming quite fond of her again. In the least, protective. He wanted to bring her home.. perhaps to show that he too, like Thor, could do something his parents could be proud of. Aside from his own wishes, Loki thought Meaghan had right to know the truth. In his mind, no one should have to go all their life believing a lie. They should know the truth..as soon as it could possibly be told./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="5faf756186d2a944f19e1ad8c92b4d27""You are only asking to bring pain to yourself," Heimdall warned, his eyes now trained on the younger prince. "It is not something you should take lightly. Should I show you, I advise you highly; do not ask her of it. It will set back any chance to bring her back to Asgard very far." A flicker of a smile crossed his face, before it vanished. He knew what Loki had planned. He had always known; when the time was right, he would be the one to bring Meaghan back to them. He had been close to her as a child, despite their age difference. His closeness to her, growth in the magical arts, and overall developing personality made him the right one for the job. Or, Heimdall judged it so. This was why he had taken liberty to shield Loki's memories of her./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="16e2a28ad32a07fe53a26fe862aff580""Give me your word, you will not ask her to speak of it."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b1fcf36ca8c5788f39134d2e60a720be"Loki paused, wondering once more what it could possibly be. Finally, he agreed./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a09c4f7c98c8b35db2e59b2bb3a525bb""You have my word."/p
