Episode: Until the Day it Becomes a Pumpkin
Haruhi and Hikaru got caught in a net trap, and Haruhi has to lean over Hikaru to cut them free.
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Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod, oh MY GOD!
Her chest is right in front of my face! Does she not realize that? I seriously could touch her breasts right now if I just leaned forward an inch.
No, no, no, no, no, Hikaru! Focus! This is nothing. She's just trying to get us free. This is just the position she happens to be doing that in. She certainly doesn't want me to touch her breast….does she? I mean….they're right there. It has to be on purpose!
Where the hell is Kaoru when I need him? He'd know exactly what to do in this situation! He wouldn't be thinking about how Haruhi is basically sitting in his lap and how her knee is way, way, too close to hitting an incredibly sensitive area, and if he just moved that inch towards her breast it would also cause other appendages to touch…
Bad, Hikaru! Stop this line of thought right now! Oh my god what if she notices what I've been thinking? I can't exactly hide the evidence!
Calm down. Deep breath. Channel Kaoru. We're twins for gods sake, I should be able to act like him.
Holy shit she's leaning forward even more. Just how close do you have to get, Haruhi?
Avert eyes….do not look straight ahead. Hey look over here there's an interesting statue...it's all statue-like. Yeah that's it. It has pointy parts and rounded parts and it's definitely made out of a material...a much thicker material than Haruhi's and my clothes which are all that's separating us really because-
SHE'S TOUCHING IT. She shifted and she's touching it! Does she feel it? No, no, no she's going to hate me, and Kaoru's going to hate me for ruining everything.
I need to go. Right now. I can't stay here. Please Haruhi-
YES! Freedom! I'm out of here!
