A/N: Thank you, once again, for the reviews and follows and favourites. I have no intention of stopping this story any time soon, and I have some idea where it's going, but it will probably only be a weekly update since R/L is in full swing.


Castle's phone beeps, and he jumps. Just as he'd stopped listening for it. He chuckles. Apparently a watched phone never rings. He opens the message, can only laugh when he sees what Kate wrote. Just a short text. Really, Castle? A police horse? And nude?!

He thinks he might be a little bit in love.


He thought he'd blown it last night, but when Kate's text came through, it was like a weight lifted from his shoulders. He manages to write a chapter (which doesn't involve a death scene), and brings himself to call Gina to discuss his options with the Derrick Storm series. She's cool to him, but not nasty. She tells him that the only way he can get out of his contract to write more Storm books is to finish the current book properly, and suggests that if he has a new idea Black Pawn might be willing to rewrite his contract to include a different series and the focus would be off Storm.

He doesn't tell Gina about the new idea that's started percolating in his brain, just agrees that this could be an option. After he's hung up he opens a new file on his laptop, and before he knows it, he's written a chapter about a hot young police detective.

Later, when he collects Alexis from school, he's upbeat. "Ice cream, young lady?"

The ten year old laughs and nods. "Can I have three different flavours, Daddy?"

"Three?" He asks in mock surprise. "Why stop at three? Why not four, or five?"

She giggles, takes his hand. He knows he hasn't been much fun lately. That's going to change, he vows. Alexis is perceptive, she knows he's been down. But the last thing he wants is for her to realise how close he's been to the edge. He partied a lot when Meredith left, but he stopped himself then, knew Alexis needed at least one sober parent. He had thrown himself into writing the Storm novels, and he can't regret being more or less out of the partying scene. Now, he knows, it's time for something new, and regardless of Kate, whether he sees her again or not, it's time to stop moping. Find a balance. Find the magic in life.


Kate calls Castle from the bathroom as she's about to leave the precinct. She's already changed from her uniform but she's ducked in to fix her hair while Lanie waits outside, she can't wait any longer to hear his voice.

"Hey…" He sounds relaxed.

"Hey, yourself."

"Are police records not confidential, these days?"

She laughs. "Sure they are… if you're not the police."

"God, that is so hot." He's laughing too, and she's blown away by how relaxed he sounds, by how easy it is to hear his voice. "So, are you free tonight?"

"Ah, actually, no. I kind of got roped into going out with some people from work. But I just wanted to call you, you know? To, actually, to apologise for last night?" It comes out like a question. She needs to explain, but maybe this isn't the right time.

"Aah. Kate. No need. Really. I'm sorry. I pushed-" He pauses, and she can hear him thinking. "Look, Beckett, I pushed. And I'm not going to lie. You intrigue me. More than anyone I've ever met. Have done, since we met in the restaurant last week." Shit, thinks Kate. Was that seriously only a week ago?

"No," Kate assures him. "It was me. My issues. My weird things." Lanie chooses that moment to come into the bathroom, her patience apparently exhausted. "Listen, I gotta go-"

"Hey, Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me later, okay?"


Lanie is smiling at Kate as they walk from the precinct. "So, who's the guy?"

"Guy? There is no guy."

"Lies. All lies, Kate Beckett. I don't know you that well, but I know that dreamy look on your face." Lanie and Kate chat comfortably as they walk into the bar, sit with a large group. A few people look familiar- one of the other officers from her precinct is here, and someone else Kate recognises from the Academy. Lanie points a few other people out. "That hottie-" she's pointing at a cute hispanic guy- "is at the 54th. And that guy is in Vice." It seems like there's nobody Lanie doesn't know. The "hottie" squeezes in next to Lanie and she gives him a look, but keeps whispering to Kate. "And see that guy over there, checking you out?"

Kate shakes her head, but she's lying, she's seen the guy, he's not being discreet.

Lanie snorts. "That's Will, so if you really don't have a guy, I suggest you go introduce yourself-"

"Lanie!" Kate hisses, but Lanie ignores her, keeps talking.

"Oooh, and that girl over there? Officer what's her face? She's sleeping with your boy, Royce. Or, she was, before he left."

At that Kate practically chokes on her drink. "Shut the front door!"

"Girl. Don't tell me you didn't know Royce was-" Lanie's eyes widen, she's perceptive. "No, not you too, Kate?"

"Me too, what? Sleeping with Royce? No. No way." Fuck. Does Lanie know everything about every single cop in this city? Besides. She hadn't slept with Royce, not really. Fooled around with, yes. Slept with, no. Shit. Kate's buzz is fading fast and she downs the rest of the vodka martini, signals for another. "No. No, Lanie." She reigns her tone in. "No, I was just surprised, is all. I worked with Royce, I thought I knew what was going on with him." She tried a different tack. "Anyway, I'm just surprised, because apparently you know everyone in the NYPD and you're not even a cop!"

Lanie looks at her suspiciously, seems to buy it, nods. "Well, Beckett, if you tear yourself away from the precinct once in a while and socialise, you'll probably get to know a few people too." The guy next to Lanie is talking intently to someone across the table, but his leg is pressed against Lanie's, and she leans in to Kate, and whispers with a smile- "I'm planning on getting to know this one real well."

Kate's quiet for the rest of the night, but she can't say she's having a bad time. Lanie's fun, and introduces Kate to a few people. Kate nods, and smiles, has a few more martinis. Tries not to dwell on Royce. Whatever it was that he was so determined to not have with her? Not her problem anymore. If only he'd just been able to tell her he was seeing someone. But deep down Beckett knows that's not the issue, not exactly. There was something between Royce and herself, and he had shut it down every time it went anywhere beyond the physical. But what does it matter, anyway? Sounds like he's not seeing Officer what's her face anymore, and besides, isn't she started something new, herself, with Castle?

When Beckett checks her phone, there's another message. Hope you're having a good night. Royce is banished from her mind as she smiles and replies- So far, so good, ready to get out of here though. She wonders if he'll reply, but she doesn't wonder for long. You already know where I live… just in case that's more convenient? One half of Kate's brain is screaming for an escape plan, the other half (the bossier half) knows she's not going home tonight. So when Lanie excuses herself with a wink- "Javier's going to see me safely home-" Kate smiles and waves at the two of them, and grabs her purse, not far behind them, hailing a taxi and giving Castle's address before she can stop herself.


"Hey."

"Hey yourself." Kate's leaning against his door frame. Tight jeans, sky high heels, black jacket. God, she looks hot. "Going to invite me in?"

Rick leans towards her, takes her arm, guides her in. "Hey." He's smiling, and still holding her arm.

"I think we said that?" But Kate's smiling too, and he takes a chance, leans in, kisses her, lightly.

"I think we did," he agrees.

"Alexis is in bed, I guess?" Kate looks around as if she's seeing it all for the first time, and he indicates the couch, that she should sit.

"She is. She had a much earlier night than last night, thank goodness." Alexis had crashed at eight, Rick had been grateful. One late night was okay, he could play it out with ice cream and a game of laser tag, but two would create a very cranky nine year old.

"It's so weird, to see you like this."

"Like what?" He can guess. Like a father. Like a regular person instead of the tabloid hungry party boy he's portrayed as. He wonders if she's disappointed.

"Like a father. Like a real person." He nods, slowly. Is he right? He knows he likes her, but he's not sure how much. What does she want? What can he give her? If it's the Richard Castle she's read about in the paper, well, he can't give her that. Or, he can, but it will be tonight, now, and then he'll ask her to leave before sunrise, and never see her again. But she's speaking again, and he stills his brain to listen to her. "It's just such a relief," she's saying.

"A relief?"

The lip biting is back, like she thinks she said the wrong thing. "A relief. That you're just a regular person. Castle, I'm- you know I'm a cop. So I came here tonight, because I just went out with all my cop- well, my cop friends, I guess. And you know, the girl that asked me to come out with them? A medical examiner. So, we're all around death all day. So I came here, because it's just a relief to be around someone who doesn't see that. Someone who is just a regular guy." She smiles wryly. "Although you write about murder. And ask me about murder. So- wow. I have no idea what that says about me…" Kate shakes her head.

Castle shrugs. "I don't think it says anything about you. Just that you have good taste in… well, in me." He realises he hasn't offered her a drink, and offers.

"No, not- not a drink, drink. A coffee, maybe?"

He raises his eyebrows. "At midnight?"

Kate's mouth falls open. "It's midnight? Crap. Well… maybe decaf? Or half strength… or… should I go, Rick? Is it weird, that I came here? After running out last night. It's weird, isn't it?"

"Okay." Rick exhales slowly, narrows his eyes. "No caffeine for you. I will make you some sleepy time tea and you… you can calm down?" He makes her the tea, and he can see her visibly relax as she drinks it, but then she frowns. "What's wrong?" he asks quietly.

"Oh God." She rubs her face. "Nothing. Long night. Long day. Long week, long year?"

"And yet it's only January."

"It's January," Kate agrees. She takes a deep breath, like she's composing herself, looks at him, then back at her tea. "Five Januaries ago, I was in that restaurant. With my Dad. And we were meant to meet my Mom, but she never arrived, and we thought she'd been stuck at work." She traces the pattern on the cup with her finger. "But- she wasn't just at work- she died. I mean, she was murdered. Five Januaries ago. So here I am. Five Januaries later, and I'm eating at that same restaurant as if I can get a redo, as if it can happen differently this January. But, Rick?"

"I'm here," he whispers, leaning in and taking her shaking hands in his, putting the tea on the coffee table.

"Every January, it's still the same. Another year has passed, and nothing has changed, and I'm still that kid falling into this rabbit hole so fast and, God help me, I was only nineteen." I was only nineteen. The line hits him like a lyric he might have once known, unbidden, but he pushes it aside, not sure what to say.

He leans in until his forehead meets hers. "I don't want to say something as useless as I'm sorry, Kate. But, I am. I'm so sorry." He thinks back to the conversation they had yesterday, when he'd teased her about the restaurant. "I'm so sorry Kate."

She shrugs. He can see the unshed tears in her eyes, pulls her in closer, strokes her hair. "Thanks for listening. I just wanted to tell you- to explain a bit, about last night." She starts to make a move to get up, and more than anything, he doesn't want her to leave. Not now.

"Stay," he says. "Stay here tonight. Just to sleep." Something like confusion passes over her face, but she nods, and as they stand and he leads her into his room, all he can hear is the echo of her voice. I was only nineteen.