Sam drummed his fingers quietly against his desk, staring blankly at his book. He had been given the task to write a story of his own over the holidays as an assignment. At first, it seemed simple enough. But now as he looked at the piece of paper, he was having second doubts after watching it for the last hour or so. When an idea came, it was either too predictable or too random to be classified as an 'idea'. His small trashcan filled with scrunched up papers while his mind was as empty as space.
His eyes drifted over to the table clock, noticing that it was soon reaching midnight. Almost two hours since he's seen the Prime and two hours of waiting. He'd hope to continue talking, but he couldn't blame the Autobot. No one could really. As he turned back to the paper in front of him, he soon found that it was impossible to continue when his mind was taken up by other subjects. But if he stopped now, he'd have to face the fear of another nightmare striking his dreams. And honestly, he didn't want anyone to barge into his room when he screams.
Dropping his pen, the teen pulled out his phone and flicked through the apps, unsure of what to do for the rest of the night. He'd sleep, yes. But not when everyone nor anyone was occupying the rooms beside his. For a moment, he'd thought of calling one of the others, just talking to past the time. But then again, most of them would either advise him or force him to sleep.
A yawn escaped his mouth as he turned back to the conveniently large table that could fit his books, pens, lamp and table clock, coincidentally large enough for two arms and a head. The temptation overtook him as he laid his head on his arms while his limbs crossed over each other. Just a light nap wouldn't a hurt anyone. As his eyes closed, he found himself quickly lost within the night.
As Optimus opened the door to the human's room, he poked his head in to check if the boy was sleeping. It wasn't surprising that he was. It was surprising where he slept. Pushing the door farther open, he cocked his head in confusion when he noticed the teen was on his table, breathing lightly. The Prime shook his head in a disapproving way before drawing closer to the table.
When arriving a foot away from Sam, he was about to wake the boy, thinking it was unsafe to sleep there. But as he noticed the innocent face the Witwicky had, he flushed instantly as his spark's engine revved. The man shook away the heat before staring intensely. His inside stirred as he leaned down, hooking an arm under the teen's legs before another came to his back. Silently and carefully, he lifted Sam up, resting the boy's head on his chest before moving towards the bed.
A whisper stopped him. "… Op… tim… us…"
For a moment, he thought that he had been caught red handed, but as he looked down, he found that the brunet showed no sign of consciousness. He breathed a sigh of relief before continuing, laying the human's body down on the bed. The teen stirred for another second before a blanket was wrapped over him
As he made a bee line towards the door, he flicked the lamp off and stared back at the entrance. Without knowing what he was doing, his lips had moved speaking in silent Cybertronian. "Sweet recharge, Samuel." When he left with the door closed, he questioned his words once more, disappearing back to his original body. The boy would meet his bonded tomorrow.
The next day…
The elder waited patiently as the ship his mate had flown was about to land down in front of the base, many troops and most of the other Autobots waiting to greet them upon their arrival. The only one who hadn't been with them was Sam and Bee, which barely anyone had decided to tell the teen about. Optimus thought it'd make a great surprise to introduce them to one another while Ironhide thought otherwise.
As the fairly large ship touched down, the large hangar doors on the side of the ship opened, creating a set of stairs down to the earth, in which Optimus stood in front of. A smile tugged his lips when he met her optics with his. Restraining himself from running to the femme and hugging her, the Prime waited patiently as Elita walked down the set of stairs.
Elita-1 looked the same as usual. Sharp edges in her external frame and a pale orange armour matching her white body. Strapped to her thigh was a holstered pistol while on her other leg was a hidden knife. Her eyes a little lighter than Optimus' but darker than Bumblebee's.
Then the leader noticed something, his face twitching just a second to reveal his concern.
There was no pulse. As far back as he could remember, every time the two would meet optics or come into a close radius, then there'd be a pulse felt through his spark. Something like a heartbeat, in human terms. But one that'd be able to detect each other's emotions through. It was the very symbolisation that the two were bonded. And yet, nothing. Not even the engine within the spark was revving. And the Prime wasn't the only one that noticed as the two stopped to stare at each other.
Their minds brought back to reality when a few steps came behind the femme bot. Looking behind her, she found it was one of her teammates, Iceracer, approaching with as she scanned the surroundings. The Prime and femme soldier knew each through acquaintances, which so happens to be standing in between them.
"This looks like a great planet. Full of organisms I haven't even heard nor seen before." The blue Autobot had commented, standing beside her leader. When Elita shook her head as an Autobot version of smile had struck her lips.
"I guess we should count ourselves lucky that Orion had settled in the place before us." The Prime smirked before looking down to the human captain, noticing that him and the rest of his squad were covering their ears. Turning back, he cut in the short conversation.
"Before I forget, I would advise speaking in a language in which the inhabitants of this planet can understand. Cybertronian frequency is painful among their audio receptors." Optimus explained as the two bots looked to the unknown lifeforms below them, noticing how their hands are to their heads. The two took a moment to both download the English dictionary into their processors and ask the same of their teammates through the comm-links. The first to try out their vocals was Elita, who kneeled down to the small beings.
"I am sorry for inflicting pain onto your audio receptors. My name is Elita-1, and this is my co-pilot, Iceracer."
Will was the first to remove his hands and ignore the ringing in his ear as he responded with, "It's no problem. I am William Lennox. Captain Commander of NEST Headquarters and temporary ambassador for Autobots and humans." Will greeted, feeling slightly awkward when speaking with his head up.
Elita nodded to this before standing back up. "Elita, I have to say I am quite overjoyed to see you. But I must ask sooner or later, what happened?" The femme looked worried to speak as her optics drifted low.
"We should… talk about this inside… where only Autobots hear of it…" The Prime nodded as his servos coming up to hold the femme's side in comforting gesture.
"Of course. But you should also be informed of the things that have transpired while your ship was away."
"What?! The Allspark is gone?!" Elita exclaimed, as the news came to her slowly, with Ironhide and Ratchet giving their side of stories. Unfortunately, her voice went a volume higher than one could stand as they winced before continuing.
"Unfortunately, yes." Optimus stated.
"How are we supposed to rebuild Cybertron if we don't have the very key to do so?"
"… That's what we've been trying to find out during the past stellar cycles (7.5 months)."
"And? What of Megatron?"
"He's currently in hiding, hopefully for a while at best." The weapons specialist cut in as he polished the cannon in his arm. The femme leader had controlled her stress before looking back to her love.
"And you? You said you had offlined once. If so, how are you still here?" Optimus winced at the memory, the last person before he died and the first to pull him back from the Well of All Sparks. As he reached a hand to his chassis, it had slowly released itself open before a flying object with soft blue light floated out onto his metallic hand.
"Because of this. And him. This here is the Matrix of Leadership, a key for the ancient Primes' star-harvester. It had been used by a certain someone to revive me. And it can only be held by two hands. One of which is not Cybertronian." Finishing the explanation, he carefully slotted the delicate object back into its place. "What about you? You've yet to recount what had disconnected us."
Elita looked pained, but spoke. "… When we arrived at the retrieval point, we were ambushed. The ones who we were supposed to rescue had attacked us under orders of Megatron. I believe that he thought if he'd kill me, he'd cause pain to you."
"…"
"Luckily, we had managed to escape. But we had lost our medic and have had our communication systems rendered useless. Best we could do was send a distress signal while we floated among space, conserving the energy we had and stopping where we had found an energon source. Even then, those sources were small." She summarised, the recount adding to the Prime's regret and guilt.
Silence filled the room for a second, each mech feeling pity for both leaders. Elita noticed the look the bots had given to her, deciding that it was best to change the subject. "… So, who is this other person that saved you?"
The leader understood what the femme had done and merely lifted his head. Optimus looked to the door leading into the large rec room, custom made for the Autobots when they have to wait for a short time. Conveniently, it was the only place that seemed to hold private ears for the Autobots and very little soldiers were allowed through. Staring at a corner for a while, the room went silent with confused looks.
Then a voice had come from entrance. "Alright! Alright big guy! I'm stepping in."
When Sam had stepped in, he was surprised by how many Autobots could fit in such a room. For someone like him, he couldn't stand packed spaces. Yet the large forms made it look almost too easy to find a place comfortable and lean against it. On one side of the room was Optimus and the others, excluding Bumblebee who had stuck by his side for the entire morning and is following behind him. On the other side of the room were new faces. One, which Sam noted, was most likely the leader of the arrivals while around 5 others stared behind from her.
As he strolled up beside their pedes, he looked to the Prime with Bee stumbling behind him.
"How'd you know we were there?" Sam questioned.
"I picked up a slight footstep a few minutes earlier."
"Ah. Should've gone with 'sneakers'. You know I could feel your optics on the other side of the wall?" The human joked before waving up to the femme leader. "Nice to meet you."
Elita leant down before looking up to Optimus. He gave a nod of approval, understanding what the femme had wanted. As she lowered a servo down onto the ground, an order went out her vocals. "Step on, human." A little peeved at the tone, he stepped on as the ground was pulled away from him and he was staring eye to blue optics.
As a metallic finger came from one side, it poked the teen who was nudged slightly from different sides, taking an almost drunk step that direction. "And you're sure this is it?" Elita asked, wondering how something so small, so fragile and so defenceless could be as worthy as a Prime.
"Him. And yes, Samuel is the strongest soul out of all of us to still aid us when it is not his fight."
"Is this true, human?"
"Sam. And yeah, more or less had one too many close calls with Decepticons." Sam replied. Then before he knew it, his feet had begun sliding off the servo. It wouldn't have mattered unless he was falling from Cybertronian height as his legs were not going to survive the impact.
As flawless as ever, the Prime jumped into action as his servo came below the fall and had caught the human with care. With the same amount of care, he pulled the human in before placing him lightly on the floor. "Elita, be careful how you treat humans. Yes, they are fragile and small, but they hold an even greater amount of emotion within them."
If it weren't for their Prime standing in the room, the rest would've surely been giving an earful for the femme. Elita looked hurt how here bonded was speaking against her. Whilst Sam steadied himself on the ground, he looked back up. "It's alright, Optimus. She didn't know."
Optimus turned down. "Forgive her, Samuel."
A few hours later…
The base was quiet today. Optimus had noticed this when he went into the medical room. Usually, he'd have thought medic would've been working on one of his new findings. But with the time they had on Earth, Ratchet wasn't one of those in a rush. The Prime looked around the room before finding Ratchet fixing one of the tables whenever they were needed.
As he strolled up in his tall glory, it was impossible not to notice. But the medic did nothing and continued his work while the Prime stood on the other side of the bed. "Ratchet. We need to talk."
"Where are the others?"
"Getting used to their holoforms. But that's beside the point. I think I'm ill." Optimus believed.
"How so? It's been over a week since our last battle and you only sustained superficial damage." The other Cybertronian questioned, stopping in the middle of his work to address the situation.
"Not external damage. But ever since Elita-1 had set foot onto the planet, I haven't felt a pulse from her." The leader stated. Looking over with a bewildered look, he began his questioning.
"Are you sure? Maybe it is because you two have been separated for too long."
"But that can't be right either. There should always be a pulse whenever sparkmates meet. No matter the time."
"… What I'd suggest is to give it time. Since you've been offlined before, I can give you two possible verdicts." Ratchet said.
"Which are?"
"One, your bond was lost when you offlined and will take time to return. Two, when you offlined, you prevented the ability to bond any longer in this world." The medic concluded, folding his arms over each other.
"Is that even possible?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. But since you have a rare case of reviving, all concepts are out the window. So when you'd say a bond lasts for a lifetime, remember that you have been to and back from the other side, past your lifetime if not for Samuel." Ratchet explained, looking to the bed.
"I see. Thank you, Ratchet." The Prime turned away as he walked away from the beds. When his name was called, he turned back.
"Optimus, one other thing. If my first theory is true and it does take time to rebuild a bond, can I ask if you truly want it?"
"What? Of course I would. What else would you mean by that?" He inquired, a little shocked.
"… Never mind. It's nothing…"
Meanwhile…
"Hey, Sam?"
"Yes, Bee?"
"Are you mad?" The holoform taking long strides.
"No. Why?"
"Cause' you're kinda' walking faster than usual."
"I just have somewhere I got to be."
"Which is why you're now running?" Bee questioned. Sam stopped abruptly, noticing that he was out of breath in the middle of nowhere once more.
When he looked around, he was in the exact same place Optimus had found him a week ago. This time, it was completely empty except for the two. A sigh left the human's mouth before he slumped down onto a wall, sitting cross-legged with closed eyes.
"Is something wrong, Sam?"
"No, no. It just hurts."
"What?! Where?!" With quick action, the blonde was beside his friend with worried eyes. Slipping into Cybertronian, Sam winced at the frequency before calming the yellow Camaro down with a hand.
"It's not pain. It's just… weird on the inside." The teen vaguely explained, pointing towards his stomach.
"Stomach ingestion?"
"No."
"Liver failure?"
"No…"
"… Should I call Ratchet?" The blonde asked, quickly gaining the attention of the human.
"God no! I'd lock the twins in your room if you did." He threatened, earning a chuckle from the holoform.
"Alright. But please tell me if it gets worse." A nod eased the Autobot, but not entirely when he sat down beside the human. "Sam, what's wrong?" Another breath pushed out before the college student answered.
"… Ever have that feeling when you see someone you like with someone else?"
"I'm assuming you're talking about Optimus?" From the quick prediction, the Witwicky turned a bright red. His eyes growing wide as he stumbled on his next few words.
"W-What!? N-N-No! What m-makes y-ya' th-"
"Sam. I know." Sam stared into the holoform's blue eyes, trying to uncover if the blonde was lying. What he saw were eyes of the wise. Turning away, he placed his palms in his hands. He couldn't deny it himself. His heart now belonged to the Prime. But knowing that it could never work out between the two, or if the Cybertronian would even respond to such feelings, he dismissed it as a foolish thought. Heck, he didn't know how it even began. For the longest time, he thought of the Prime as a father-figure. But ever since Egypt…
He had managed to contain the attraction for a while. At times, even the teen had lost control to the feeling. His body heating up and his heart rate increasing. He then had to ask, "Was it that obvious?"
"To answer both questions, yes."
"And how do you deal with it? That awful feeling?"
"Well, I think of them. Which one of us could make the one we like happy? If it turns out to be the other person, then you don't say anything."
"And you're okay with that?" He questioned.
"… You want the truth or what you want to be the truth?"
Thinking for a moment, he wondered which would be easier to hear. Maybe both. "Can I hear the first?"
"Alright. I'm okay with anything they choose. If it pains me to see them with another that they love, then I'll take it all. Even if my ties with them are cut, I'll be happy as a long as they are."
As much as it had pained him, he asked for the other answer as well. "… And the truth."
"… No. As much as I see them have eyes for another, I'm not entirely 'okay' with it. I wish I had the courage to tell them, but I know it would only hurt them more if I do. And I'd rather suffer that fate." Bee responded earnestly, his blue eyes moving to the ground. "But you're different, Sam. I believe you still have that small spark of a chance to be with him. Unlike me…"
"But, how do you know they would refuse you?" As the blonde stood up from his position, the human found himself following but remained in his spot where the holoform was walking away from.
"I don't want to be pitied. And besides," Turning around with his hands in his pockets, he gave a sad smile. "I've been talking with them the past few minutes."
Sam stopped stone-still on his spot. He reviewed the words over in his head whilst the Seeker walked away. He looked long and hard at the walking figure as he thought back to the entire conversation. One line stood out that the Cybertronian had said. 'As much as I see them have eyes for another, I'm not 'okay' with it. I wish I had the courage to tell them, but I know it would only hurt them more if I do. And I'd rather suffer that fate.' His guilt could only be weighed down harder when he remembered the sad smile he gave before leaving.
Climbing the steps to the next level, Sam could only think about the last conversation held. It made him sick. But it had only highlighted the decision he had to make. Express his honest feelings for the Prime and risk ruining their relationship, or go with Bee who has already accepted him. Could he deny his heart, and risk hurting a dear friend? Or follow it and might consequently run himself into the ground?
He couldn't choose. More like, he hadn't that much of a choice. I mean, Optimus had already found his mate. He should be 'grand' about it. That meant Bee was a more suitable choice. But, the last thing the Camaro had said struck back. 'I don't want to be pitied.'
"… -at's what Ratchet said?" A voice spoke from the top of the stair case. Sam paused his steps, looking up and recognising the voice.
"Yes. He says it will take time before we reconnect. I don't want to think about the second possibility." A second voice spoke. Sam didn't take even a second to recognise the voice. His heart tightening when he realised who the first voice belonged to.
"Orion… You have nothing to fear. Even if we cannot share a bond, I am happy as long as you are alive and well." Elita-1 said, hearing a few human-sized steps. 'Orion… Must be Optimus' real name. Of course he'd only share that with someone he loved…' The teen thought.
"And I the same, dear Elita."
"And I the same, dear Elita." The Prime replied, turning his head swiftly when hurried steps were heard running down the stairs beside them. Stepping away from his lover for a moment, he peaked his head down the level, seeing no one there. He couldn't say it, but he felt an underlying chill run down his mind. A chill that said he had taken a leap off a cliff.
"Orion, is something wrong?"
"… No. It's nothing." He said, turning back to the female holoform.
A few days later…
Watching the snow fall outside his window, Sam curled deeper into his blanket and pillow. He wondered when someone was going to come by his room today. It had been a total of five days since he's spoken with anyone outside his room, and he hoped it would stay that way. After hearing that conversation, he didn't want to hear anymore. At least not for a while.
Twelve. Twelve times had someone come to his door and knocked, asking different questions. The times when they did open the door, they only saw the pitch-black room with the college student under his blankets. They thought better than to wake him up, but unknowingly he was awake each time. The thought of locking it or even barricading himself with a chair had crossed his mind, but it would arouse even more suspicion and decided against it.
Of course he got up to eat and shower, but those were the only reasons for him to step out his blanket. His pillow was damp with how much sweat he had worked every night along with the tears the rolled down. Don't forget to mention the dreams that have made their comebacks and had worn away at his appearance. He didn't even want to look in the mirror. Especially when he knew he'll see something he wouldn't want to.
It was 12 o'clock by the time he woke up, his head aching, throat dry, eyes stinging and skin pale. The first sight he saw was the snow outside the window, reminding him that Christmas was coming up and his parents were visiting soon. Thinking that he could sleep the entire season away, he snuggled deeper into the blanket.
Heavy footsteps woke him up as he jolted awake, staring at the still closed door. There was knocking, then silence. His heart twisted among himself as he distinguished the knock given. It was Optimus. Always four times, stern and quick. His breathing heavy when the knock came again. This time, followed by his voice. "Sam? Are you alright in there? No one has spoken to you in days. They've all grown worried. I've grown worried."
'Liar.' He wanted to say, but bit his tongue, levelling his head back onto the pillow. More knocks came. Squeezing his eyes shut, he wished it to end soon. And it did, the knocks stopped and then there was serene silence. Optimus spoke again, breaking the trance. "I'm coming in."
Out of reflex, Sam shouted. "Don't."
A centimetre from the handle, Optimus backed off and stared at the door. "Sam? Why didn't you say something?"
…
"Sam, is there something wrong?"
"… No. Just… busy... Tell the others I'm fine." He instructed.
Silence. Then a hum abided the instructions before the Prime left without a word, his footsteps growing further and further. Finally, peace had returned to his room. But because the leader was about to step in his room, it had rather forced him out of bed and got him up on both legs. A sigh yawn left his mouth before scratching the back of his head.
Since he was up, he might as well wash up. Walking to the bathroom, he stared into the mirror and wasn't the slightest bit shocked from what he saw. Tussled hair, red eyes, black rings under them and pale skin. He was one hell of a definition for sick. Pushing it aside, he turned to the tap and doused his face with water. If his parents were coming, they aren't coming to smother him.
This was more troublesome than he had first thought. When he thought about it, if anyone he knew had caught sight of him, they'd more than likely drag him to Ratchet or go off on a rant about how he cooped up himself inside his room. And with the time he's spent inside the base, a few soldiers and friends of Epps and Lennox had managed to remember his face and name. The only luck he has to note was that the Autobots were outside, witnessing the change in weather.
Speaking about Autobots, the three faces he wanted to avoid right now were of the following he last saw. Elita. Bee. And Optimus. Definite faces he did not want to meet right. Which made them priority number one to turn the other way if he even catches the sound of their voices. He's had some close calls for the past hour, feeling as if every turn he took, he'd run into either three.
Then he came at a standstill. One end of the corridor had Bee speaking with Jolt while on the other end was Ironhide walking with Will and Epps. They were caving him into a corner as Sam looked to both sides, his hoody now drawn back. Turning behind him, he found there was a door and made quick use of it. Literally pushing his body in, closing it with a slam when he was through.
Turning around, he observed the room. A weapons and armour storage. On the walls were hanged bullet-proof vest while sets of guns were placed below on a table, each having their ammo packs right beside them. The tables seemed to hold more than enough other attachments for the weapons.
Sam couldn't observe for long as he didn't know much about them. Instead, he'd pressed his ear up against the door, hearing the weapons specialist argue with the human captain over something. As they drew louder, he pushed his back on the wall beside the door, hearing their voices reach a maximum before moving further away. Not long, he had heard Bee and Jolt running, followed by the sounds of a chasing Sideswipe as their voices disappeared as well.
Not realising he was holding in his breath, he released it in a sigh. Counting another minute of silence, he pulled the door open, checking both ends of the corridors before slipping out. With his hands back in his pockets along with his hoody drawn over, he began his 'great escape'.
That 'great escape' hadn't been so great when a hand quickly caught his wrist. Spinning around, he was met with stern blue eyes. First word that came to mind was the exact word he was seeing in his situation. Shit.
"Sam."
Turning his head away, he pulled his body back and stood still. "Optimus."
"You've been hiding. Why?"
"… No reason."
"Then why have you been avoiding us?" He questioned.
"I haven't." Sam lied.
"Sam. I've been following you since you've stepped out of your room. Every time you'd see someone, you'd draw up you hood and walk away. Why?" Optimus continued.
"…"
"Are you sick?" A moment passed before the teen shook his head. "Injured?" Another shake. "Threatened?" Another shake. "Then please tell me Samuel."
"…"
"Sam. If someone has hurt you in either way, of course we'd do anything to help. Whether you're left on your own or in need of a simple talk, then we'd race to your side. Even if we had rebuilt Cybertron, not one of us would second doubt ourselves if you called. But that is on the matter that you tell us what has been troubling you… Please Sam, we care about you. I care about you."
The last sentence sent a strike to the teen's heart. A part of him want to laugh at the lie. Another wanted to break down. But he shoved it away as he twisted his arm out of the Prime's grasp. A mutter escaped his mouth which was so quiet that even the leader couldn't pick it up.
"I'm sorry?" Optimus asked.
"… Save that for Elita." After that, the human began walking away. Snapping out of his small shock, Optimus sped after his friend and circled around in front of him, blocking the Witwicky's path. His fists were out on the sides as they trembled only slightly.
"Sam, what did you mean by that?" When the teen refused to give an answer, trying to step to the side, the Prime followed. Another step, he followed. "Sam." He called, losing what little he had of emotions.
"It means exactly what it is! You say you 'care', when you know that isn't true!"
"Sam, I do ca-"
The teen had quickly cut in, throwing his head up with his hoody uncovering him. "Shut up! Don't lie to me! I have had just about enough from everyone pitying me! Why does everyone smother me when I have done nothing to deserve it? And now you're here, probably because someone had asked you to. Otherwise, you'd be off along with Elita once again, finishing all the things you two missed in the last millennia."
Somewhat shell-shocked from the teen's look, it had taken a second for him to process the words that left his mouth. "She has nothing to do with this Sam."
"Oh doesn't she? Tell me, who would you run to first, in a life and death situation?" The human questioned. Thrown aback by the sudden spotlight, he faltered.
"T-That is an unfair question. You two are both dear to me and I could never choose between friends and loved ones."
"Answer it Optimus! Who?" Sam pressed, on the verge of tears.
"I will not. I will never allow that to happen." Even he knew that he was lying to himself. In the past, there have been times which cases like that have happened. And almost every time, someone was lost during the situation. That's why he can't answer it. He could never fully trust himself to keep the two from such an event.
"And that is because you already know the answer!"
"Don't make such assumptions!"
"Are they assumptions? Or are they the truth you can't accept?"
As his spark flickered with internal pain, he calmed himself. "Sam. This discussion is over. I will not allow words to be placed in my mouth."
"Good. Because I'm done. I'm done being the one who is watched over by everyone. I'm cutting my ties entirely with you guys." Another flicker of pain went through the Prime while the teen moved past him. "I hope you're happy with Elita, Optimus Prime."
As Optimus finally snapped away from his pain, he called out to the human. "Sam, wait!" But it was already too late. With his hoody drawn up, Sam didn't look back to the holoform. And as his steps distanced them both further and farther away from each other, the leader had never thought his name and title could never sound more like an insult than ever before.
