Roughly photocopied forms and photographs swim before her eyes as she fumbles around the for the picture she really wants. Kate and her Mom, standing together, in front of Rockefeller Center, ice skates over their shoulders. Kate gazes at the picture for a minute, running her index finger over her Mom's face. She bites her lip as a tear threatens to spill out, and finally squeezes her eyes shut for a second. Kate kicks the box back under the bed, and props the picture up against the lamp on her side table, before getting under the covers and turning the lamp out.
In the darkness, Kate's phone beeps, and she reaches out to check it. Castle. Until tomorrow, Kate. Thank you. X
Kate wakes up early, as the sunlight filters in through the blinds. Maybe she should get better blinds. No matter now though, she's up. Kate likes the idea of sleeping in, she's just not very good at it. As a teenager, sleeping past midday had been a weekend staple, and now, even if she has the luxury of a weekend off, she's just become too used to the early mornings, slave to caffeine. Is this what it is, to be an adult? Turning into your parents, one step at a time? Kate remembers the few occasions she woke early, in her teens. She'd stumble into the kitchen, and find her Mom at the kitchen table, drinking her coffee like it was lifeblood. And now, that's Kate. A steaming cup of coffee has become vital to the day, the solitude of the moment before she has to leave her apartment, sacred.
Today, though, she has a nine year old in her living room, and she creeps out of her room, making sure to open the door quickly so it doesn't squeak. It's only six thirty, and does she ever hope Alexis is still asleep. She is, and Kate puts the coffee machine on, wondering whether Alexis will sleep through that. Somehow she doubts it. She pours herself a cup when the machine is done, glad to see Alexis is still breathing evenly. Opening the fridge reveals milk that's a few days out of date, and not a lot more. Well, she'll drink her coffee black if she has to. As for breakfast for Alexis, she's not too sure what she'll be able to offer. Kate guesses she's not supposed to leave Alexis alone even if it's just to duck down to the store on the corner, so she's relieved to find a loaf of bread in the freezer. She has peanut butter, and jelly, so they can have toast for breakfast. Not exactly a Castle worthy breakfast, she has to admit to herself, flashing back to the few mornings she's seen Castle go to town in his kitchen.
She leans back at the counter, closing her eyes as she breathes in the smell of the coffee, sipping at the beverage that's still a little too warm.
Yesterday had been surreal, and Kate's relieved that she's got today off, although she wonders what Lanie got off the body, whether Jones and MacKenzie have a positive ID yet.
A muffled noise, and then a squeak and a thud cause Kate to leap across to her living room in a single movement, coffee cup falling and spilling across the floor. Her eyes widen as she takes in the scene. Alexis has fallen off the couch. The girl looks up at Kate sheepishly. "Ow," she offers. "Morning?"
"Morning, Alexis." It's on the tip of her tongue to giggle, now that she sees Alexis is fine, but she doesn't want to be unkind. Instead, she offers a hand to help pull her up. "Are you okay?"
"Uh-huh." Alexis has turned suspiciously pink as she takes Kate's hand, but embarrassment aside, seems okay. "I forgot where I was and rolled over the wrong- oh! Kate!" Alexis spots the mess on the floor. "Your coffee."
"Yeah. Some cop reflexes, huh?" Kate turns back to the kitchen, cleans up the mess. "Shall we get dressed for the day, and figure out breakfast? You can use the bathroom first." Kate walks into the bathroom with Alexis to find the girl a towel, and to get the water running. The taps are a bit tricky. When the water is running, Kate heads back into her kitchen and pours herself another coffee- whether she's got time for more than one coffee or not, she never makes just a single cup brew, which is lucky since she spilled the first one- and goes to the couch to straightens up the blankets. Sure enough, tangled under the comforter is the stuffed toy she spotted yesterday, a monkey for sure. She folds the sheets, and picks up the monkey, and is surprised by a knock on the door.
Castle knocks on Kate's door. It's ridiculously early, but he's managed to sweet talk the overnight on call doctor into discharging him early, before shift change. He's feeling much better, although slightly awkward about the fact he can't really remember everything from yesterday clearly. He's not sure if the drugs they had him on had him saying more to Beckett than he perhaps should have.
When Kate opens the door he can only stare.
She looks back at him, questioningly. "Castle. You're… early. Are you… okay? Should they have discharged you so soon?"
Rick finds his voice. "Beckett." He leans in and gives her a kiss, just on the cheek, as she opens the door wider to let him in. "I'm fine. I see you have Monkey Bunkey, so I take it you have my daughter too?"
"What?" She follows his line of vision down to the stuffed toy she's holding. "Oh. Yes. Alexis is getting dressed. Monkey-what?"
"Monkey-Bunkey." He grins, and looks her up and down. Her dark hair is still sleep mussed, her feet are bare. She's gorgeous. And okay, he has seen her naked, in his bed no less, but this cosy version of Beckett is a whole new level of appealing. "Wow. I had no idea getting here so early would have so many side benefits."
She shoots him a sidelong look. "Like?"
"Like Pajama!Beckett!"
"What?" She slaps at him, laughing.
"You going to put Monkey-Bunkey down and offer me a cup of coffee, Pajama!Beckett?"
She rolls her eyes and shoves the monkey into his arms before crossing back to the kitchen and pouring him a coffee. He grins, and takes the cup gratefully. Sleeping in hospital hasn't made for a good night's sleep with all the noises from the hall, and the cracks of light coming in through the windows and under the door, and he's glad for the caffeine. He's gladder still to share the ritual of a morning coffee, even if a quick glance in the fridge when Kate isn't looking reveals that he will indeed be drinking the coffee black.
"Daddy!" Alexis comes rushing out of the bathroom and leaps into his arms. Kate manages to grab his coffee cup from his hands before it goes flying.
"Nice." He nods at her appreciatively. "Cop reflexes, huh?"
Alexis and Kate both burst out laughing.
"What?"
Alexis looks at Kate conspiratorially. "Nothing, Dad. Are you better?"
He nods. "Good as new, daughter." Castle reaches back for his coffee and Kate hands it to him. God, he could get used to this. "Kate." He looks around. He's seen his fair share of crappy Manhattan one bedrooms and studios in his time- lived in a few when he was a kid, too. "This place is nice."
Kate nods. "Yeah." She bites her lip. "I'm… lucky, with this place, I guess." She hesitates. "I really have it because of my Mom, you know? Some money from life insurance, some from the sale of the place I grew up in, so…"
He nods. It's a terrible reason to have a nice place, the death of a loved one helping pave the way to financial stability, but he's still glad for Kate, that she has a safe place like this. "Your Dad doesn't live there anymore, in your old place?"
Her eyes cloud over. "No. He- he didn't want to stay there. He has a little one bedroom too, now." She shakes her head. "Anyway. Alexis and I were about to get some breakfast. I don't think we can manage anything quite to your standards, Castle. Toast?"
He shrugs. "What do you have? I can cook something better than toast." It's a nice kitchen and he quite likes the idea of cooking here.
Kate shakes her head. "I can cook, too. It's more-" she rolls her eyes, and he wonders what he's said, until he realises this time she's chastising herself, "-there's not exactly any food here. I mean, apart from bread. In the freezer. For toast."
Rick's closer to the freezer, and he opens it. Peas, and half a loaf of bread, the latter of which he takes out and inspects. "Freezer burn. How long have you had this bread, Kate?"
She looks mortified. "Uh- I have no idea," she admits.
"Right." He exchanges a glance with Alexis, who is silently watching the exchange. "I may have told Alexis there's no point in going out for breakfast when you can cook- but clearly that's not happening here- so go get dressed, and we'll go out."
Alexis has settled back on the couch with a book, and Kate heads into her room, telling them she'll shower and get dressed, and then they can go. She's not really surprised when Castle glances at Alexis, engrossed in her book, and then follows her into her room.
"Hey."
"Hey, back." She can't quite control her breathing, not the way she wants to, as he curls the fingers of his left hand into the waistband of her pajamas and pulls her toward him. Her eyes close of their own volition, and she's kissing him, or he's kissing her, and they're still standing, but she's suddenly so glad to have him in her bedroom, so damn close to her own bed, and when he nudges her down on top of the covers it's on the tip of her tongue to remind him his daughter is in the other room- but she can't say a thing, can't stop a thing.
"God, Beckett." He's moaning her name into her mouth, but he pulls back a little. She opens her eyes to look at him- trying to see what he's thinking, trying to really see if he gets what he is doing to her. "Beckett. Kate," he almost gasps, his eyes dark. He chuckles. "Quick and quiet? It's not really my plan A, but…"
Kate pulls him back down to her as his hand inches under her top. "Quick and quiet," she whispers back, agreeing. As if she could say anything else.
After, Kate showers- also quickly, also quietly, also with Rick. They return to her room- she's awfully glad her bathroom is off the bedroom- and he pulls on the clothes he was wearing when he arrived. The clothes she picked out for him when she was in his loft with Alexis yesterday. Wow. She pulls on jeans and a sweater over her panties and bra. He's watching her, in that way he has. He watches her when she's drinking coffee, when she's beneath him, when she's getting dressed. She flushes, as she realises. She likes it.
But his attention has been caught, he's distracted by something else. This is what Kate was expecting, to be honest. He touches things, and wants to know things, so she's not exactly surprised when he takes his eyes from her and stalks around the room, inspecting. He touches the lamp, strokes the top of her jewellry box. She's amazed that he's got the restraint to stop himself from opening it, and she sighs quietly to herself, willing to indulge him his moment. He reaches for the picture on her side table, the one she took out last night, and he looks at her, silently asking permission, before picking it up when she nods at him.
"Your Mom?"
"Yeah. Just- from just before. I was home on winter break. We went ice skating."
"Yeah? Do you still skate? Maybe we can go skating sometime."
"It's been a while," she admits, not hating the idea.
Rick sidesteps, and she hears the thud, knows what it is before he looks down to see what he's tripped on.
Leave it, she wants to whisper, but the sound doesn't come out and he reaches down and picks up the open box, confusion flooding his face, and then horror.
"This… you have this?"
"Please…" Kate closes her eyes and presses her fingers to her eyelids. "Please. Just drop it. Leave it." Her voice is raw and she can't believe how stupid she's been, to think she can have this- this man in her house, in her shower, in her bed. In her life. Not when she has that box- the shoe box of horrors, waiting like that, under her bed.
"What is that, Kate?" He knows it's her Mom's file, she knows he knows, he's crossing the room, reaching her, pulling her to him, stroking her hair. And she lets him.
Kate's quiet as the three of them leave her apartment, checking and double checking the locks after she pulls the door shut behind them. Alexis, bless her- and what he ever did to get a daughter like this, so amazing, caring, open and loving is beyond him- skips around him to Kate, in favour of walking beside her father. She takes Kate's hand, without asking, as though it's nothing, and he sees Kate squeeze his daughter's hand, gratefully.
They eat at a new breakfast place around the corner from Kate's apartment. It's still early, breakfast, not brunch, but busy. Kate's got pancakes- Alexis promptly changed her order from waffles to pancakes after Kate made her decision- and Rick's got poached eggs. "Because I can do every other kind of eggs at home, but I never get these quite right," he tells her. He's pretty interested in her pancakes, though, not asking when he leans over and scoops up some of the berries.
"Hey!" She knocks his hand away. "Steal from Alexis!"
Alexis giggles but Rick just shakes his head. "Nope. Yours are fair game."
He orders a cappuccino, and Kate grins wryly. "Pretty disappointing coffee for you this morning, huh? No milk at my place?"
"Well." It's not an admission, because he can't stand to disappoint her- he's kind of aware how ridiculous that is, when it's just a question of milk- but he's not going to lie either.
"Yeah, well. I don't really like black coffee, either." Kate bites her nail.
"Beckett?" She looks up at him, her thumb still curled into her lip. "Not a disappointing morning, though." And she smiles back at him, the smile reaching her eyes for the first time since he saw the file on her Mom's cold case, messily shoe boxed, literally under her bed.
