(Author's Note)

Forgive me, you might see some grammatical errors because I am practically rushing to hit the deadline next week, and I'm pretty behind. I'll edit everything as soon as I have finished the whole rewrite.


Chapter 7 "Touch Not the Sweaty Underpants"

The audience was very silent because of the sudden sequence of events that happened within a single minute. First, there was that sudden breakage of the bowl, then there was Phineas who immediately rebounded the ice cream from falling off, which would've been disastrous for them, and then there was Isabella who sprinted in order to succesfully smash the stop button. But what really disturbed them was the sudden breakage of the bowl. Most of them were too focused on rooting for the kids' success so not much really knows the entire story of how it happened. Now, they're pretty disturbed that Cheyenne was stubbornly dubbing herself as current title holder.

"What are you talking about?! We clearly beat you!" Isabella raised this point.

"This challenge is tampered with." Argued Cheyenne.

"Agreed." Interrupted Thaddeus. "Didn't you notice the two incidents that happened? First is that early bell malfunction. Second there's that bowl breaking right in front of your faces. These incidents have affected this contest, therefore there must be some tweaks to the current time. But, I must say, if it hadn't been for that early bell and delayed timer start, you would've overtimed. Am I correct Mr. Mayor?"

"What?! You can't be serious?!" Complained Isabella.

"I'm afraid our current champion is right Isabella, I'm gonna have to increase the amount of time you have right now to five seconds."

Coltrane complied, and changed the timer so that it reads 00:15:04. He looked sorry that he had to do this.

"Wait! But you have to consider that bowl!" Argued Phineas. "We would've had beaten the time fair and square if we weren't so rudely interrupted by someone who threw this pebble at us!"

He presented the pebble that was used to Roger and Coltrane. Although Coltrane was glad that Phineas managed to present something, Roger urged that they discuss the matter quickly. Phineas joined Isabella, who then grabbed the former's hand much to his surprise. He felt slightly more nervous once she squeezed it. Her eyes were shut really tight and her head bowed as if she was praying. Finally, the two have stopped discussing, looked at the challengers and title holders each, and spoke.

"Under these circumstances..."

Although logically unnecessary, Phineas was always a sucker when it came to long pauses in events of revelation. But Phineas was actually really anxious than excited.

"Our two title holders are apparently correct, these will affect your results significantly..."

"No... Phineas...They can't..." She started to cry.

"But if we are to consider everything that has happened..." Started Coltrane. "...it would make the reading in this timer bogus."

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Complemented Roger Doofenshmirtz.

"We've decided to deduct your current time by 10 seconds."

Phineas's eyes shrunk while Isabella immediately stopped crying. Phineas drilled his right ear with his finger, checking for any earwax.

"I'm sorry, I think I got earwax. Could you say that again?"

Coltrane grinned. "Congratulations you two." He ended with a wink.

Now Phineas, Isabella, Cheyenne, Thaddeus, and Thor had their jaws dropped.

"Oh my gosh! D-did we just-?!" Isabella said excitedly.

The current time reading was now deducted to 10 seconds thanks to Coltrane conducting the recalibrations. Now the timer read 00:14:56. The audience applauded and cheered for the satisfying and well analyzed result. The previous title holders on the other hand were utterly shocked.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Isabella squealed and jumped up and down with Phineas. "May I have my second patch please?"

"Oh with pleasure! I, Phineas Flynn, am proud to-!"

"N-No... Noo!" Yelled Cheyenne.

Cheyenne's sudden outburst silenced everyone and interrupted the unofficial awarding ceremony. Embarassed, she cleared her throat and approached Isabella.

"Well, congratulations... for now."

"Oh thank you! If only you had this much honor every day you wouldn't be such a-!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. You're still not gonna make it. It's almost twelve noon Isabella. Time is running out."

"And if I win?"

"Oh, that's the Big question Isabella. "If" you win."

"Well, I guess we better get going and earn some more patches. Right Phineas?"

"Nah, you're on your own." He said.

Isabella pouted but Phineas just grinned even more before he sprinted away.

"Hey! Come back here with my patch you big Dorito head!"

Isabella followed suit and chased after him.

"Hey! You forgot your title and picture with the mayor!" Coltrane yelled.

Instantly the two came back running in place and eager to take the picture.

"Okay, I guess we better make it quick if they're ever gonna burn all that sugar."

"Sugar?" Wondered Phineas.

"Ice cream has sugar remember." Reminded Isabella.

"I thought it was made out of heaven."


After they got their pictures taken they raced each other to the nearest intersection. Although they're in a sugar rush, Phineas suggested if it would be better to preserve the sugar by stopping in place. If it's not their feet that are on the move, it's their bodies that's restless.

"I don't feel really good stopping. I wanna move." Said Isabella.

"Agreed."

As they started jumping up and down they heard a familiar voice coming their direction.

"...and that is why it's called a sugar rush. Buford if you don't stop chewing more and more tuff gum youre eventually-"

"Gonna achieve the super fast wedgie of a lifetime achievement. Yeah, thanks nerd I needed that."

Baljeet sighed. "Stubborn as ever."

"You're just lucky you're not the loser you were before, else you'd be the one to help me achieve it."

Baljeet chuckled nervously. "What I meant was-"

"Hey guys!"

In front of the arguing nerd bully duo was Phineas and Isabella hopping like mad rabbits.

"You guys in a hoppin' contest or somethin'?" Questioned Buford.

"Nope." Said Isabella.

"Then what's up with all this jumpin n jumpin."

Baljeet is protecting his ears from further damage from Buford's slang pronounciations.

"We're on a sugar rush." Said Phineas.

"Wait, how?" Asked Baljeet who now uncovered his ears.

"They ate lots of sugah. Weren't you listenin' on your own explanation?"

"Well duh, I know that it's because they ate too much sugar. But why?"

"You asked how not why."

"Not now Buford."

"Oh we just beat the quickest brain freezer challenge." Rapidly told Isabella.

Baljeet's eyes widened. "You?! You beat 15 minutes?!"

"Well by 5 minutes and 5 seconds." Phineas said rapidly.

Baljeet gaped. "Okay, why am I even surprised? It's Phineas and F-... Wait Ferb is not with you?!"

"He's on a debate bringing home the bacon." Said Phineas.

Baljeet gaped again. "Okay... now I'm impressed."

All of a sudden Isabella tackled Buford.

"Woah! Isabella?!" Exclaimed Phineas.

"Buford!"

"Hey girly?! What gives?! Ow! Oww!"

Buford continuously yelped in pain as Isabella kept twisting and pulling his arms, head and ankles. That last twist of his ankle made him pound his fist to the ground.

"Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!"

"Yes! Yes yes yes! May I have my 3rd patch please?" Requested Isabella.

"Uhh, what 3rd patch?" Said Phineas who still kept jumping.

"The Wrestle a Bully patch silly!"

"I'm not the one with the book."

Isabella wanted to rebutt but, realizing he was right, went to retrieve the manual from her satchel instead while resuming her jumping. She turned to the page of unchecked patches, updated the last two patches they accomplished with a red crayon.

"Wrestle A bully Patch! Your objective is to wrestle a bully in an... official wrestling match. Whoops! Sorry Buford."

"You're just... lucky you're just a girl! If you were a dude Buford would rip you to pieces." Buford struggled to get up because of some of the painful twists in his muscles.

"In order for a wrestling match to be declared official, the bully challenged by the Fireside Girl must first accept the challenge and hold the match in an official wrestling ring. Don't you have a wrestling ring in your gym Buford?"

"You're not plannin' on goin' there are you?"

"Not without you."

"In this condition you gave me?! No way girly!"

"Ohh... right."

"But there are lots who'd love to crush ya if you gave them the chance... on the bright side you'd be doin me a favor if you beat them. It will bring me steps closer to achieving the title of "City Bully" by default."

"Whatever. Where'd you say the gym was?"

"At the Googolplex, Ground level. Tell Russell and the rest I said hi."

"We will. C'mon Phineas, let's go!"

They ran and ran as fast as they could like a couple of wannabe flashes until they reached their destination: "Wedgie's" The Gym for bullies. They burned a lot of energy during their race so they don't feel as jittery as earlier, but it's still there.

"This is the place... isn't it?"

"Yeah." Said Isabella. "Wanna go in first?"

Phineas looked bewildered and stepped away from her.

Isabella chuckled. "You can stay behind me if you're too chicken."

"Hey! Okay, I admit that I'm not the kind of person who likes to rumble but this ain't just kindergarten Isabella. You could really get hurt with these guys physically and verbally."

"I know, I wouldn't be here ready to face them if I didn't. Besides, you're the one who talked me out of this remember?"

"Well, not exactly but- Okay now you're giving me a reason to regret what I said."

"... Wait, so you're taking back what you're saying?!"

"No! I mean, I'm not just gonna stand there and watch you get hurt!"

"Fine! Then you can stay right here! I get that you're cautious but I'm not gonna let some big old jerks get in the way of my dream! Not them, and not you!"

Now Phineas felt a little abandoned with that comment, but he knows that she's right. But he still can't shake the feeling... maybe she's right, maybe it's better if he just waited outside. Isabella, ticked off, turned her back on Phineas and took a step towards the gym, but he caught Isabella's right shoulder.

"Just be careful... okay?"

He could hear Isabella breathe slowly out of fear and stress. He thought he was the only one concerned about her well being but he's happier now that he acknoledges that she too knows what she's risking.

"I'm scared too Phineas."

Phineas smiled. "I'm just scared you'll send them in wheelchairs."

Isabella chuckled. "Who cares about them?"

"I'll go with you. Just... make sure you keep them off my back."

"I'm not making any promises... But I'll try."

He lightly pushed her and walked her towards the gym. He won't admit it in front of a lot of people, but he is scared of having to deal with people through fighting, heck he's too kind that he won't even fight back. Now, he seems pretty okay heading towards the "abyss of wedgies" as he calls it since Isabella's got his back.

"We can do this! I mean, Isabella can do this! I'll just support her all the way. Yeah! She can do this! And I can help her do this!... But that also means we can... Never mind."

Isabella giggled. "You're so silly. But we can do this Phineas. I believe in you, that you'll believe in me."

"Thanks. I don't know how you heard that but thanks."

"You mutter pretty loud."

They were soon met by everyone in the room glaring at them. Most of them were big kids practicing on dummies dressed with underwears and ones used for toilet dunking. Some of them were unfortunate skinny little kids, most likely nerds, getting beaten by the big kids as dummy substitutes. Phineas and Isabella were dumbfounded and the fear kicked back in.

Isabella chuckled sheepishly. "Wrong gym... run!"

Phineas pulled Isabella's hand to the exit but they bumped into a big kid, who's slightly taller and bigger than Buford, wearing a military color-schemed wife-beater and a golden flat buzzcut cutting them off. The two stepped back from the biggest bully in the room.

"Where are you two goin'?"

Unconciously they were squeezing each other's hands. They looked at each other and Phineas urged her to talk to the big guy by tilting his head towards him. Isabella took a deep breath and got ready to speak.

"I hereby challenge you to a wrestling match!"

Everyone in the room gasped. Phineas pulled Isabella close to him.

"This guy?! Seriously?!" He whispered."

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Whispered Isabella.

"Well I thought you got it!"

"Hey! Pink girl! You with em Fire sticks or somethin'?!" Spoke the big guy that cut them off earlier.

"It's Fireside! And... yess? Why'd you ask?" She grinned.

The big guy grinned and cracked his knuckles with his right hand causing Isabella to whimper and retreat to Phineas's arms who caught her immediately.

"Hey! Don't scare her like that!...P-please?"

"Aww, little girl is a scaredy cat after all. Why don't you wrestle for her Dorito head? Stand up like a man!"

As much as he wished he was a man, he just tightened his cuddle with Isabella in fear.

"No?! Alright, come here you little chicken flavored potato chip!"

The big guy forcefully picked him up by his collar, causing Isabella to fall to the floor, and was heading towards a toilet. The rest of the bullies were gathering with the big guy and watched the dunking session.

"Dunk! Dunk! Dunk! Dunk!" Chanted the bullies.

"Uhh, Isabella?! A little help here?! Please?! Isabella?! I don't want to be a soggy chicken flavored potato chip!"

Isabella gasped. "Phineas!"

The big guy was running now and was about to jump to make the basketball dunk until-

"Hey! Put the chicken flavored dorito down you buzzcut punk!"

She said it so angrily that everyone in the room stared at her. She was gritting her teeth and she was breathing hard. Phineas swore that he saw her eyes flicker with fire.

"W-what did you call me?!" Said the big guy.

"Are you deaf or something?! I said, I challenge you to a wrestling match! I'll make you cry uncle in minutes!"

The big guy cracked his right knuckles. "No one tells Ricky what to do."

He drops Phineas down, who's now smiling, despite him being picked up by a couple of bullies with his arms strapped to their shoulders. Ricky walked towards the little girl until they were literally face to face.

"You think you got what it takes punk?!"

Ricky chuckled. "You're gonna be sorry you ever opened that mouth."

"Oh really? Show me then."

Ricky and Isabella did a short staring and gritting contest.

Ricky smiled. "I've been waiting to finally squash another Fireside girl."

Isabella's confidence suddenly faded. "Wait... what do you mean-!"

"Into the ring!"

"Hey! You haven't answered-!"

"I said, Into the ring!"

Ricky grabbed Isabella by her collar and tossed her into the ring, the latter however was able to land on her hands and flip back on her feet. The big giant bully jumped over the ropes, making the bouncing ring wobble, knocking Isabella down again.

"On your feet girly!" He said as he cracked his knuckles again.

Isabella quickly got up from the floor and got on her pouncing stance. Someone from the side ring rung the bell, starting the match.

"You can do it Isabella! I know you can! Kick that big guy's butt!" Cheered Phineas.

He was however glared at after motivating their enemy so it scared Phineas so much that he tried his best to keep quiet. Isabella however was really focused on the match.

"The both of you gonna get dunked after I'm done with you."

"Just come and try to beat me."

Ricky chuckled. "Tough talk for a girl who's about to get stumped."

"Oh this girl's got some surprises."

"ARChie Shoot!" Whispered Phineas.

"I thought we told you to shut up! You don't want your guts crushed do you?!" Said one of the bullies.

Phineas chuckled nervously. Fortunately the intelligent robotic camera heard him that he propelled to the air like a helicopter and began to record the entire footage of the match.

Back to the action, Ricky charged at Isabella and was about to grab her but she somersaulted in the air in order to dodge it. She landed both of her feet to his head instead.

"Ow! Hey! No fair!"

Ricky shook his head, causing Isabella to fall but she tumbled to recover. He charged again and Isabella sidestepped this time, ducking under his left arm to avoid getting caught.

"Stop running girly so I can grab ya!"

"Uhh, why do you think I'm running?!"

Ricky charged again at her but this time she stood her ground. She ducked his arm again and tripped him to the floor facefront. She quickly got on his neck and gripped it with her arms. For a little girl she can be surprisingly strong. It was strong enough for Ricky though. The bully easily grabbed her arms and threw her to the ground. Isabella was paralyzed by the painful impact from her back. Ricky took this opportunity by climbing towards the nearest ringpost and then jumping with his body spread out. Isabella however was quick and rolled away from the impact. She got on his back again and tried to strain his arms this time, but her attempt backfired as she was quickly thrown to the ground again. Ricky got up and balled both of his fists to slam them at Isabella. Isabella clutchly evaded the blow by rolling back towards him and kicking him with both feet on his face. Ricky backed off and yelped in pain.

"You'd really hit a girl?! Wow, I guess Buford is a nice guy now."

Ricky spat at a nerd outside the ring. "How do you know that name?"

"Well, he's one of my best friends!" Innocently revealed Isabella.

"Huh, gives me more reasons to squash this girl. Buford would've been the biggest, most baddest bully in town, until he turned soft on his nerd and his friends that he turned his back on us."

"He wasn't good with any of you anyway! And he's way better than any of you jerks! He's a real man! Not you!"

"Don't lecture me about being a man girly. You're talking to the strongest and baddest bully in town, my town! And I'm man enough to crush that friend of yours like a real Dorito!"

"Okay, can you guys stop calling me that. Isabella, I'm gonna to talk to you about this Dorito-head thing cuz it's apparently contagious." Complained Phineas.

"I thought I told you to shut up!" Yelled Ricky.

"Between the both of you? It's Phineas who's the real man. He'd never hurt anyone! Not you, not me, not anyone! Not even a single fly! He's the sweetest, cutest guy I-... best friended with!"

Phineas could see that Isabella's cheeks are red, but he was distracted by her compliments. He felt really happy that Isabella thinks of him like that, heck if he had a pillow with him he'd probably lie down on it for days with those words on his head.

"And he's smarter than any of you in this room! If you want to be a real man, talk to that guy, cuz you're a pea brain at it!"

Ricky's eyes were now red with anger. "That's it! Give him the swirling death!"

"Wh-what?!" Exclaimed Phineas. "No Wait! Please! I'll be good! Please! N-no! Please!"

Isabella gasped and quickly charged at the distracted Ricky who was revelling on her best friend's torture. She grabbed his small left leg, threw him down, and twisted it as hard as she could. The bully yelped in sheer pain.

"Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!"

All of the bullies gasped and looked at the two wrestlers, interrupting Phineas's dunking session. Phineas was getting his head pushed into the flushing toilet but he got his feet on the seat and he pushed desperately with his back to the bullies with all his strength. His nose was only centimeters away but he was able keep it dry. He was basically crying.

"Duck him in the toilet and I send Ricky to the hospital with a broken body!" She threatened.

"No! No! Listen to her! Please! Put him down! Put him down!"

The bullies were really hesitant, they were certainly enjoying his dunking session and they were about to refuse. Isabella however replied by twisting his ankle even more making a cracking sound.

Ricky yelped in pain. "Let him go you stupid idiots!"

Now that crack convinced the bullies to put the boy down. Phineas was heaving and trying to stop himself from crying. Isabella dropped Ricky's ankle and rushed to Phineas' side.

"Let's go. Let's get out of this horrible place." Said Isabella.

They ran out of the gym with everyone dumbfounded and shocked. There was a bench that they managed to find outside so they rested on that bench.

"That was... pretty sick Isabella. You really nailed it! I really knew you could do it Isabella! Really!"

Isabella quickly hugged him tightly much to his surprise. "That was scary."

Phineas could only hold still and he's practically speechless thanks to the events prior to this and now the hug.

"You know... I'm scared that we're having too many hugs today."

Isabella chuckled. "You're so silly Phineas."

Phineas smiled, closed his eyes, and indulged in this bliss they were having. Unfortunately it was interrupted by a sudden amount of footsteps coming towards them. Phineas opened his eyes and were surprised to see a crowd of bullies bowing down like Mandarins in front of them.

"Uhh, Isabella? Why are the bullies bowing at us like we're an altar of worship?"

Isabella finally opened her eyes and broke her hug with Phineas. Ricky, on a wheelchair and a bandaged foot, approached them.

"Your skills are exceptional in wrestling. The only other girl who managed to defeat me was Adyson Sweetwater. We want to learn from you, and your ways of wrestling! So if you please become our the sensei of our dojo-!"

"Whoa whoa! Okay, first it's a gym, so that would make me gym leader. Second, you're sweet, but no, I don't want to rule a gym full of bullies."

Ricky now clutched on her ankle, causing her to shriek.

"Please! Pleaaassee!"

"Ow! Get off me!" She kicked him off her foot. "Run Phineas, run!"

They sprinted away from the crowd of bullies.

"After them! Don't let them get away!"

The bullies then chased after the the two escaping kids.

"You know, we never managed to rescue those kids back in the gym!" Said Phineas.

"If they're smart enough they'd take this opportunity to sneak away!" Said Isabella.

They ran towards a clothing store in search of a place to hide. They headed towards the fitting room in the female area, not caring if Phineas is not allowed there or who's inside them. They just crawled under one of them which were closed. The bullies were able to see them run to that direction and charged to the fitting rooms like a stampede. They also crawled under the shut fitting room.

Stacy shrieked. "Get out! Get out you bunch of perverts! Get out!"

Stacy Hirano, who shielded herself with her own clothes, wacked the bullies with her big bag.

"Ow! Back! Back! Back!" Yelled one of the bullies.

The bunch of bullies backed away from the room.

"Security! Security!"

"Run! Run! Run!"

The bullies ran out of the store before the security could catch them, but the officer was still chasing them. Stacy was relieved that the coast was clear and proceeded to wear her signature dress.

"You guys okay under there?" Stacy asked.

There was a black prom dress laid out on the table with the skirt area covering the area under it. There was intensive giggling coming from there. Stacy picked up the dress to reveal Phineas and Isabella covering each other's mouths and giggling. They couldn't contain their fun anymore so they just laughed really loud with some rolling on the floor.

-End of Chapter 7-