Welcome back to Pocky Does Magical Things (after 4 years ayy)

Let's get this show on the road!

Previously on 'Pocky Does Magical Things'!


If we could force him into the TV and turn off the Wii, he wouldn't be able to come back out! At least, I hoped it would work. It better work, or we'll end up like sushi at this bastard's hands.

He wasted no time charging at us, and we did the same in retaliation. Immediately, we slammed our poles into his side and chest, making him stumble and blindly swing his sword around the room. He almost got Malena's head again. The side of the blade however slammed into my arm, making me wince. I knew there was going to be a bruise there in the morning. I lifted my leg and kicked at his knee as hard as I could, hearing him grunt as Malena whacked his side again. He tripped over the Wii, falling backwards. But not without gripping our arms.

"You two are coming with me!" he shouted, falling into the TV with an evil laugh.

Both of us screamed, feeling as if we were being crushed into little pieces as we were sucked into the TV.

Shit fuck, we were dead.


Have you ever wondered how it felt to be sucked through a straw like a thick smoothie with strawberry cheesecake bites in it?

That's how it felt when we were dragged through the TV by Ganondork. It felt like we were being crushed and slurped up by a person without access to water for days.

Ganon's laughter rang through my head like a church bell, pain pulsing throughout my body. Everything felt like it had caught on fire, burning me from the inside out. I felt something, or someone, grab hold of my hands. Malena was saying something, screaming at me, but all I heard was this sound like we were underwater.

And then there was silence.

My eyes cracked open to see a greyish-red sky, dark clouds swirling overhead. A soft breeze was blowing by, bringing the faint scent of water towards me. Something was on my wrists and ankles; they felt weighed down and heavy like wet clothes.

Actually, I think they were wet clothes.

"Ever? ! Oh my god, you're okay!"

I looked over to the side to see a blurry Malena, soaking and in a panic. At least she was alright. Slowly my eyes focused, catching splotches of red and purple bruises running along her shoulder and arm.

"May...?" I groaned in pain and sat up, resting my head in my hand. "What happened? And why are we wet?"

She pointed over to a shallow puddle with a frown on her face. "We fell into Lake Hylia. I think we floated to shore though..."

I sighed and tried stretching, hearing my arms and knees pop in relief.

Must've been a long fall.

Wait. We fell into Lake Hylia? I felt myself swear before I could control it.

"We're in the game." Malena muttered in disbelief.

My heart skipped a beat. That wasn't possible, right? Falling into a video game from a TV is just in fanfiction! But... everything just seemed so real. So lifelike. The pain in my side, the sounds of lake water in the distance lapping at the shore, the scent of an unexplained sadness ... my senses were going crazy. Maybe we were just in a vivid dream. Maybe Ganon never climbed through the TV and tried to kill us.

Maybe today was just a dream.

I was only convincing myself, repeating that thought like a mantra in my head. Malena was sure that we were in a game, at some puddle of a lake, where a guy in a skirt was going to save the world from a ginger.

I bit my lip and broke out of my thoughts before they actually believed we were in a game.

Malena wrung the water out of her hair, staring off into space. "This is unbelievable...," she whispered. "We fell into Lake Hylia when it's like this... where's Link?"

"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow at her and rolled over to her side. "What do you mean?"

"He should be here by now, Ever," Malena touched a finger to her lips pensively. "Unless... he hasn't touched the Master Sword yet..."

"May, what are you talking about?" I stared in confusion. Everything she was saying sounded so foreign, like she was speaking Khmer instead of English.

"We must be in the future timeline," she clarified. "And he probably hasn't even taken the Sword yet." Slowly, she got up to her shaky feet. "We have to go to the Temple of Time and check if he's still sleeping."

"Uh, okay...," I shrugged and followed suit. "Could we get some more clothes in between then? I'd rather not meet some guy in wet clothes."

"They'll be dry by the time we get there; it'll take us maybe a day or two on foot...," Malena started walking off in a direction, and I followed after her like a lost puppy.

I didn't know anything about this place. The grass, the sky, the sounds... they were all familiar but so different. I didn't know what to expect out of this place- no. This isn't a real place. This is a game. This is a game that Malena is practically obsessed with. As long as I was near her, I'd be okay. We'd be okay.

I kept repeating that in my head as we left the area of Lake Hylia behind us and forgotten.

The wind smacked against our clothing, making chills run along our spines. Wet clothes and windy days are nice if the clothes aren't on you.

The dark clouds broke apart just slightly, making the red sunset visible through the cracks. It was beautiful in a way...

But the only thing that I could see ahead of us for the past couple of hours was grass, a few trees, and of course, more grass.

I glanced at Malena to the side of me. "Are we going the right way?" I asked skeptically.

She nodded and kept her eyes focused ahead.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded again and looked at me from the corner of her eye. "I'm looking for familiar landmarks. If we see the ranch then we're going to stop there and ask Malon for some clothes. Can't stand being cold any longer."

"Who?" I looked at her in confusion.

I don't think she remembers that I don't play Zelda games.

She opened her mouth to answer, but quickly shut it when something in the distance caught her eye. "Wait. What's that?"

I looked where she was looking and narrowed my eyes, trying to focus on the shape in the distance. "Is that a horse?"

"What would a horse be doing out here?" Malena muttered under her breath, resorting to speed walking towards the faraway horse.

I willed my legs to hurry after her, despite the aching and sharp pain they were going through. Malena skidded to a stop when we reached the lonely horse. It was chestnut brown with a white stripe on its nose. She gasped quietly while I slowly walked up to the horse and patted its muzzle.

"Epona? What're you doing out here?" Malena said in bewilderment, walking around Epona in circles.

"I mean. They are a horse," the comment left my mouth before I knew it.

"Shut up, Ever."

"Forgive me, my darling."

Malena tried climbing onto the horse from the side with a grunt. Epona fidgeted slightly, trying to canter away from Malena's unfamiliar weight on her body.

I tried calming Epona down while Malena settled herself on the horse.

"She's very comfortable," Malena commented, lightly petting her mane.

I backed away from Epona as she reeled up onto her back legs, tossing Malena off of her in a panic. My friend landed with a 'thump' and a groan of pain.

"May!" I rushed to her side, watching as Epona raced off into the distance. "Are you alright?"

Malena nodded before trying to sit up, catching Epona galloping away in her vision. "We gotta follow her. She'll lead us right to Link. I can feel it!"

"Or she's just scared," I helped her off the ground, patting the dust and dirt off of her. "Let's just keep going to that ranch or whatever you were talking about."

With that over with, we continued our journey to the ranch.