I know I said I would update way sooner than this but life got in the way :/ Sorry! But it's here now :)

The weeks and month that followed Edward and I's break up were miserable to say the least. I assume everyone has talked to him at this point as they all tried a few times to get me to talk to him, to let him explain. I always stopped them and left. I just wanted to get over this heartbreak I was feeling.

The only person who wasn't nagging me was my father. He came to Forks a few days after everything happened. He was more than happy to just sit with me and hate Edward. Although I didn't hate him. I could never hate him.

Christmas was just around the corner and we were all on our two week winter break. Christmas coming so quickly also meant that Alice and Jasper's wedding was just a month away. Everyone had been trying to keep me distracted with wedding plans and dress fittings. The baby was due early July. Alice wanted to get married before she really started to show. She would be about four months.

Alice asked me to be her maid of honor. This was something we decided when we were little. I would be Alice's, Alice would be Rose's, and Rose would be mine. Unfortunately the boys had apparently decided something similar so it ended up I would be walking with Edward down the aisle. And I knew it was going to hurt when it happened.

I was currently in Port Angeles shopping for everyone's Christmas presents. I had something for everyone except Alice. I decided to just get her something exciting for the baby and be done with shopping. However when I was walking out I passed the sports store in the mall and just happened to notice a football. A football signed by Edward's favorite player. I quickly bought it without a second thought and later decided I would give to someone else to give to him.

The few days left until Christmas passed quickly. It was currently about 7 PM on Christmas day. We celebrated the day by doing our normal traditions. With our parents home the Cullen's and Swan's stayed separated for the day which is unusually but it was fine. Tomorrow we would surely exchange gifts with them.

I felt extremely cooped up most of the day so with our celebrating being done I decided to go for a walk.

"Be careful Bells, it's cold and snowy out there. Don't trip," said my dad as I was leaving.

I certainly bundled up for this walk. I was not a fan of the extreme cold weather but I needed this fresh air. I felt like I was suffocating.

Not having any other idea of where to go I walked the short distance to the school. As I got closer to the football field I saw two guys passing a ball between them. As I got even closer I heard the distinct voice of Emmett.

"Come on Eddie, you can do better than that," Emmett commented on Edward's poor pass. Hiding behind a tree, I peeked out to watch and do some eavesdropping.

After Emmett's comment Edward remained silent.

"You okay Edward? You didn't even give me a 'don't call be that' or anything." Emmett asked concerned.

"Have any of you tried talking to her?" Edward asked sadly. "We all have but she just shuts down completely whenever someone breaches the subject."

"I miss her, Em. I want to see her. I want to talk to her. I want to hear her laugh. I want to see her smile. I want to see her eyes light up like they used to when she saw me. I miss everything about her, even her scent," Edward told Emmett. He began crying halfway through his little speech. Is it unfair of me to think that he shouldn't feel this way if he chose it?

"Do you regret doing it?" Emmett asked him. If he's talking like this it certainly sounds like he does. But why would he do it in the first place.

"Absolutely not, man." I slumped against the tree. He doesn't regret cheating on me but he says he misses me. I couldn't stop the tears that came. "I would do anything to protect her. I mean, she's pregnant, she shouldn't have to deal with shit like that." I was shocked by what Edward was saying.

Was he talking about Lauren?

The only reason I stayed was because I was too stunned to move. "You could have…" Emmett began but was interrupted by Edward. "I know Emmett, there is a lot I could have done to prevent this," he said his voice cracking. "I could have talked to Bella. I could have talked to Alice. Hell, I could have talked to any of you about this and it probably would have been fine. But I was dumb, I know. I ruined the best thing in my life because I thought I could just do it quick without anyone finding out."

"Lauren would have said something. She wouldn't have just let that happen and not gossip about it," Emmett explained. Staying here was only making me more confused with what happened.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT EMMETT? I would have told Bella right after it happened. She and Rose are so protective of Alice I thought she would understand." Alice? He was talking about Alice?

"She probably would have," Emmett commented. "Can you just go? I want to be alone," Edward told him straight out.

As Emmett was leaving he walked near the tree I was hiding behind. He noticed me and his eyes widened probably knowing I heard their conversation. But he just kept going, letting me have control over this situation.

I watched as Edward just sat on the ground and looked up into the dark sky watching the snow fall right towards him. We used to sit outside in the snow like he was now. And every time I would ask him what he was thinking about. And every time he would answer the cold. I would ask if he wanted to go inside and sit by the fire. He would say no because the cold reminded him that he could feel and that meant he was alive.

I watched him for a few minutes before he let out a blood curdling scream. Letting out whatever that was seemed to calm him down a bit. I stepped out from behind the tree.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him just loud enough for him to hear.

I watched as his body instantly relaxed and he closed his eyes. I saw a slight smile on his lips.

"The cold."

"Do you want to go home?" I saw him frown at the change in our usual conversation. He turned to look at me. He had the saddest eyes.

"No," he started. "Because the cold reminds me that I can feel. This means that I'm alive. And everything I have been feeling this past month has been real. And everything that I feel for you is real. Because I would rather go through this than to know any of it was fake."

He was looking me straight in the eyes. He was showing himself to me. I have always been able to read his eyes if he lets me. I realize that I had gotten much closer to him.

In his eyes there was sorrow, regret and a tiny flicker of hope. It was almost too much for me to know that I had complete control over that flicker.

"Why?" I asked as tears began to roll down my face. I saw Edward's hand flinch as though he wanted to reach out and wipe them away.

I didn't have to explain my question at all. He knew what it was in reference to. I almost didn't want to listen to what he was about to say but I knew I needed to.

"I…do you remember the day that Lauren was harassing Alice saying she would tell the volleyball players?" I nodded in response. I remembered that clearly.

"As you were comforting her I tried to reason with Lauren. She told me the only way she wouldn't say anything for the rest of the pregnancy would be to sleep with her. I immediately refused," he said quickly before I could do anything, like slap him. I motioned for him to continue. "When I refused she changed it to a make out session. I wasn't going to agree but I looked at Alice and I saw how hurt she was. I couldn't just do nothing," he looked up at me with tears filling his eyes. "She's my sister too, Bells."

This was one of the things I loved most about Edward. He was protective and loyal of those he loved. Could I really fault him for that?

I was quiet for a minute mulling over everything in my head. Apparently it was too long for my boy. "Bells…say something? Anything?"

"I…I forgive you," I managed to get out before I started sobbing. I cried because of how stupid I had been. I cried because I checked out of our relationship for a month. I cried because I was afraid of how this would affect us long term. "I love you," I choked out.

As fast as anything Edward was completely wrapped around. In the way that he held me he was trying to convey that he was never letting go. His lips were everywhere as he kissed every part of my face.

I put my hands on either side of his face and pulled it back so I could look into his eyes.

"I love you, baby. Can we just go back to where we left off? I don't want this to affect us and I don't want there to be any cold or hard feeling towards one another," he basically just spoke me exact feeling. I just nodded and pulled him closer until our lips finally met for the first time in way too long. We stood in the middle of the football field just holding each other and keeping each other warm.

Eventually we decided it would be best to go home and get warm. We walked back to our houses holding hands and not really talking, just feeling happy. We decided to sleep at my house, neither of us able to stand the idea of sleeping alone one more night.

When we got to the porch we stayed there for a minute longer standing in an embrace. After a few seconds he gently pulled my head back in order to give him full access to my lips.

Hearing the front door open we pulled apart knowing we would have to face whoever was there and give a full explanation of what has happened.

As the door opened I heard a gasp and we both turned to look at our interrupter still in an embrace.

Review please! I had a plan to write more of them being apart but I just couldn't do it! Thank you for reading!