Disclaimer: I don't own Polaroid by Imagine Dragons.

Chapter 11: His Phone Call

I stood on the edge of the cliff while the wolves played soccer behind me. The edges of my vision was blurred as the soccer ball sailed over the cliff and down into the churning water below. I watched it fall and my body laughed and laughed. Someone came up behind me, and I braced myself for the push that was surely to come. Well, at least the joking shove and quick grab to keep me from going over. It was something Jacob always used to do when we were at the cliff. It bothered him that I stood so close to the edge, and he'd joke that I would fall off and try to scare me at some point. It was weird to be back in this place, a place that made me so happy. I always wanted to return to these moments or make new ones similar to this one, but I was always too afraid. I didn't want these moments to be tainted like most of the memories I had of Jake, with his leaving. I felt him approach closer and shut my eyes.

I'm a reckless mistake. I'm a cold night's intake. I'm one night too long. I'm a come on too strong.

My eyes flashed open when Polaroid by Imagine Dragons started to play. At the same time, my body jerked, throwing me over the edge. I flailed wildly before my face and body made contact with something soft and warm.

I fully yanked myself from sleep and twisted over onto my back. The song was still playing, and it was finally dawning on me that my phone was ringing. Why I had chosen that song to play as my ring tone? I don't know. I was regretting it now, though. I loved Imagine Dragons way too much for me to wake up to it. Looking over at the clock, I removed my phone from where it was charging on my night stand. 2:42. In the morning. Sweet Jesus. This better be good.

Without looking at the caller ID, I groggily answered the call. "Hello?" I wanted to say something snarky such as "You better be dead and dying. If not, you will be after calling this early" but I was way too tired to pull out all the stops of my personality.

No one answered my half-hearted greeting. "Hellooooo? If this is some joke, I'm not laughing. You better get me to start laughing, though." I sat up straighter in my bed as I became more angry and confused. What the hell? Who is this? I was about to pull my phone away when I became aware of heavy breathing on the other end of the line.

My breath caught. I knew that breathing. I had years of hearing him breathe heavily like that. After we would race each other in the woods. After we would laugh and laugh and laugh over something that wasn't even funny. After he would wrestle with the other wolves. After we would fight. After we would make love.

There was no doubt in my mind that it was Jacob on the other end of the line, but I couldn't figure out why his breathing was different than any of those other times. Why his breathing sounded panicked and frightened.

Everything that had happened the day before. All of the fighting and resentment, it all disappeared as I became worried for Jacob and what was happening. "Jacob?" I asked tentatively as if I was afraid to scare him off.

"Ness." He said the word as if it was the only thing that kept him from flying away in the wind, as if it anchored him to the Earth. Then he groaned. It was the groaning of a man in pain, but also contained some relief in it.

My fingers absentmindedly moved into my hair and began to play with the strands. "Yes." It came out at a level barely above a whisper.

"Ness….Ness…Ness." He simply repeated my name over and over again. I didn't interrupt him, just let him continue his mantra. That part of me that knew him better than anyone else, that always knew what he needed when he needed it told me that this was what he needed for the moment.

After he had stopped, I just sat there on the phone listening to his now calm breaths. I paused for a few moments longer and then broke the silence. "Jacob? Are you… are you okay?"

He took a deep shuddering breath, and I pressed my phone closer to my ear. There was a part of me that wanted to be there for him and wished that I was. Then there was another part of me that was thankful I wasn't there, so I didn't have to see him like this. "Ness- Renesmee, I should explain…" He paused, telling me that this was difficult for him.

I calmly told him, "You don't have to. All I need to know is that you're alright."

"I'm alright." He said the words, but his voice was dead and held none of the emotion that would make those words true.

"Jacob, please don't lie to me."

"I'm not. If you're alright, I'm alright."

With that, he hung up. Talk about cryptic. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it as if it would suddenly spring to life and tell me what the hell was going on. Finding no answer, I reached over and plugged it back into my charger. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep.


3:01 AM.

It had been ten minutes since Jacob had hung up and I had tried to go back to sleep, yet all I had done is stared at the ceiling and replayed everything I had heard from Jacob during that phone call in my head. He most definitely was not alright. Goddamn him.

I could still hear Claire breathing deeply as she slept. Apparently the phone call hadn't even caused her to stir. I quietly climbed out of bed, and grabbing my phone and keys, exited our dorm room. I was still wearing my pajamas and had no shoes or makeup on, but at that moment, I didn't care. Getting on the elevator, I called a "family friend" that specialized in tracing cell phones and asked him to trace Jacob's. He gave me the address, which I instantly recognized. Thanking him, I hung up the phone and continued off the elevator towards the location of my car.


Thirty minutes later I arrived at Billy's house, thanks to no traffic and driving at 100mph. I pulled my car up to the garage, hoping it was empty because I knew it was going to hail tonight. Getting out of my car, I went to open the garage and found it pleasantly empty except for Jacob's motorcycle. After placing my car into the garage and locking the garage door, I sloshed my way up towards the house, which stood about 500 feet up a hill from the garage. The ground was always wet and muddy on this hill, and it didn't help that it had started to rain. Not bothering to go around and enter through the front, I ran up the back porch steps and slid the door open. I silently cursed Jacob and Billy for never locking the back door.

I began to wipe my feet on the mat when a towel hit my face. "What the fu-" I caught myself before I could finish swearing, in case it was Billy that threw the towel.

I was surprised to find that Rachael was sitting on the couch with Paul. Both of them stared as if I had just walked off of an alien spaceship and gave birth to its spawn on the door mat. I mean I know it's surprising that I'm here, but I'm not that much of a stranger, am I?

Not bothering to give them an explanation, I wiped the water and mud from my bare feet and legs and muttered "Thanks," before throwing the towel into the open laundry room door and stalking off down the hall.

As I came to Jacob's door, I heard Rachael whisper to Paul. "Why is she here? And how did she even know he was here?" Paul simply shushed her as I quietly turned the knob and eased the door open.

Silent as a mouse, or should I say vampire, I slid in and shut the door behind me. I could see Jacob's prone body lying on his too small twin bed. My mind quickly flashed back to a time when we had talked about getting an apartment together one day with a California King bed just so Jake could somewhat fit.

I was about to go and try to wake him up gently, but then I thought "What the fuck?" so I reopened the door and slammed it shut. Jacob sat up in bed faster than I had ever seen. Before I had time to realize I had made a huge mistake, I was pinned against the wall by Jacob's massive form. His pupils took up the entirety of his eyes, and he was breathing the same way he had been on the phone.

Thanking God for my half-vampire strength, I yanked my arm out from under his hand and flicked his forehead with my free hand. "Let go of me, idiot."

Sudden dawning crossed Jacob's face, and he gently lowered me to the ground. "Ren, I'm so… I'm so sorry. I was suddenly back in that place…" He took a shuddering breath and covered his face with his hands.

I remember the PTSD, the night terrors, all of it now. It had only been a couple of weeks. How could I forget so quickly? I felt like slapping myself for not seeing it sooner. The phone call. He must have called me after a night terror, and then here I come and wake him up like a bitch. Stupid, stupid, Ren.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I didn't think when I woke you up like that."

Jacob moved his hands and lifted his head. He grimaced and said, "It's okay. At least you didn't wake me up from a night terror again. I was completely myself this time. I just reacted and didn't register it was you. Last time, I didn't even see you. I was still dreaming."

He moved back to his bed and sat down. "Why are you here?" His eyebrows furrowed while he tried to put two and two together to get four. What he didn't know is that two and two made five with my logic tonight.

I sat down gingerly next to him, and simply replied, "You weren't alright."

"I meant it when I said that if you were alright, I'm alright."

I sighed. "I know, but, Jacob, when you're going through something like this, I'm not alright. If you're not alright, I'm not."

The corner of Jacob's mouth quirked up sadly, but he still chuckled. "Vicious circle, I guess."

"It would appear so." I reached out and pushed back the strands of his hair that had gotten long and fell over his forehead.

I wanted so desperately to be here for this man, to take care of him. I was starting to realize that no matter what had happened when he left and after he left, I wasn't going to be able to love him any less. I didn't think I was ready to be part of a relationship with him again, but I don't think I could live without him again, either. Besides, he needed me to help him get through this, to heal from this.

"Jac-"

He cut me off, and grabbed my hand in both of his. "I know. I heard." I realized my hand still lingered on his forehead. I must've inadvertently transferred my thoughts. "Do you think…" He looked down at our hands. "Do you think that one day you could ever really forgive me for leaving and for… for having sex with Amelia?"

I took a sharp intake of breath. "I'm not sure. I'd like to say yes, but right now, I'm still hurt by it all."

Jacob nodded solemly. "I'll never forgive myself for those years I spent without you, but I'll never regret loving you either."

"Do you think I regret loving you, Jake?" He simple shrugged. "Stop that. Jacob Black, I have not stopped loving you since the day I laid eyes on you. Even if I don't forgive you for these past few years, I'm never going to stop loving you, so stop thinking that I felt as if I made a mistake in loving you because I didn't.

"And if there's one thing that I know for sure, it's that I'm going to get you through this. We're going to get you through this. You're not alone, Jake. You're here, with me, in your father's house. You're safe. The pack is safe. You're family is safe. I'm safe." Jacob slowly brought his eyes up to meet mine. What I saw there was fear mixed with pure love and admiration. I whispered "You may not be alright right now, but you're going to be okay, Jake. I won't let you slip through the cracks."

I reached up and kissed his cheek while stroking his hair. He still looked so vulnerable that it made me want to crack in two.

"Ren, will you stay for the rest of the night?"

I nodded, and he laid back down, making room for me by pressing himself into the wall. Squeezing next to him, I relished in his warmth. "Good night, Ren."

"Good night, Jake." I whispered. "And Jake?"

"Hmm?" I could tell he was starting to fall back asleep. It never took him long to fall asleep next to me.

"I'd prefer it if you started calling me Ness again." I don't know what made me say those words, but even with all the fighting that I knew we still needed to talk about, I finally felt as if our relationship was healing.

The last thing I heard before Jake and I fell asleep was a contented, affirmative rumbling.