Disclaimer: Highlander belongs to Davis/Panzer. They are being borrowed and returned hopefully in about the same shape they were taken in. Jeff, Emmy, and just about everyone else, belong to me. You can use them if you like, just return them please.

Chapter 13

Emmy could not sleep well that night. She dreamt about Spain and her time training with Duncan. She dreamt about David, and her fifty years of marriage. Then she dreamt about Rick. Those were the dreams she could not tolerate, and she woke herself many times. She would walk across her apartment and look out at the starless sky and wonder. It was true, what she had told Rick. Both of them had been running for a long time; Emmy from the truth, and Rick most likely from his past. He would not explain it or talk about it, which made Emmy believe he was hiding from it, afraid to face it. Perhaps... afraid to face himself.

Emmy's one marriage had not been a happy one, at least not for her. Oh, she had loved David; but when he became older, he became bitter. Not willing to give her up, but not quite as loving as he had been. He had controlled her more and more as the years went by. Emmy had thought about it many times. She had stopped loving him long ago. The truth was that she felt her attempt at marriage was a failure.

She hated feeling that way. She hated feeling as though she had spent fifty years of her life in a lie. A lie that had kept her away from those she held most dear in the world. Now she was running from those demons, trying to create her own identity again and change who she had become... to someone she was.

If she told herself the whole truth, she wanted very much to just fall in love with Rick, and let him love her back. She wanted to have what Amanda had. She had always been jealous of Duncan and Amanda for their on-again off-again relationship. She had never, in all her six hundred years, found another Immortal whom she really truly fancied. Now, as she learned that Amanda and Duncan had become closer than ever before; she could not help but wish that she could find such a comfort. Someone who understood her and would care for her, all of her, not just for the pieces that he wanted.

Emmy's mind raced back in time to a few hundred years before.

1796 de Valicourt Residence, France

She stood next to Hugh Fitzcairn, crying, though really she didnot know why. This wasnot the first time the two had been married to each other. They were just renewing their vows. "Do you think they're special?" she asked shakily.

"What do you mean special?" Hugh asked, looking indignant.

"I mean special. They are the only Immortal couple I know who's ever been madly in love. Especially in love enough to be married for a hundred years without wanting to kill each other afterwards."

"If that's what you call special. I call it boredom. Who wants to spend one hundred years with the same person? I mean really, I'm just surprised it's lasted this long. You wait another hundred years or so, and Gina will realize what she's missing out on."

Emmy smiled, "And what exactly is that? She has a beautiful home, all the money she could want, and a man who adores and cherishes her. Now tell me, Fitz, what is she lacking?"

"Why, me of course!"

Emmy laughed. "Oh, Fitz, you never cease to amaze me."

"Speaking of amazing, you and I have never enjoyed a night of splendor either, my dear."

"And we never will, Fitz," Emmy said, shaking her head.

"You are the only woman I know who would openly cut me down like that," Fitz replied.

"Then we need to find other women as brave as Emerald," came the Scottish growl of Duncan MacLeod from behind them.

Emmy laughed again. "Oh, you two, do you always banter this way, or only in front of the ladies?"

"We're always like this. Now, Emmy, you must permit me to ask you to dance." Duncan held out his arm and Emmy took it.

Noises from outside made Emmy come out of her memories. She realized she was hearing the paperboy delivering the paper, which meant it must be around five. In two hours, she was supposed to get up and get ready to open the bookstore at eight. She groaned, and went back to bed, trying to get some decent sleep at last.

Jeff was woken early in the morning by a phone call. It was a long distance number that had to be from out of the country. He grumbled to himself, and pressed the talk button. "Hello."

"Hello? Is this Jeff Read?" a distinctively British, young male voice came from the speaker.

"Yes. May I ask who is calling?" Jeff replied, as he lay on his pillows looking up at the ceiling.

"My name is Donovin Flint. I'm Duncan MacLeod's Watcher. Recently, your Immortal's name has come up in conversation."

"Oh, Rick? Really? Do you know why?" He could not help the smile that spread across his face.

"Apparently he's had some dealings with Amanda's student, Emerald de la Vega. Is that true?"

"Yup. Looks like the two are becoming good friends, too."

"Is Rick trustworthy? I take it he's one of the good guys."

"Absolutely. He's one of the best of the best. A great guy, and a good friend. Tell Amanda that she has nothing to worry about from Rick. The guy's all heart. He just has a thick shell. Most Immortals do, at first."

"Thanks, Jeff. I figured if I called I could at least get Amanda off my back. It may not stop her from visiting, though. She's been really worried about Emmy. I don't know why she's suddenly so protective of her, but she is."

Jeff sighed. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Donovin. It was nice talking to you."

"One more thing, Jeff."

"What else can I do for you?"

"I wanted to thank you, while I had the chance. You've made a huge difference for me, and for a lot of Watchers out there, and well, we're grateful. All of us."

Jeff smiled; it was nice to get some recognition once in a while. "No problem, man. I'm glad to know that someone is as passionate about this as I am."

"They are more than part of the truth; they are part of the future."

"Amen to that. Alright, well I'm going to let you go. It's still very early in the morning here, and I need to get some sleep."

"No problem, have a good day."

"You, too." Jeff hung up and sighed. "Great," he said to himself. "Now I have to try and explain this to Rick." He groaned, rolled over, and fell back asleep. The day could wait for a few more hours before he had to worry about this.

Jeff walked into the lobby at his usual time, but his manner was much more subdued than Rick was used to. He looked like he had some bad news, and was trying to find a good way of explaining it. "Hey man, what's on your mind?" Rick asked, as they entered his office together.

"I got a call from a Watcher today," Jeff said, running his hand through his hair.

"Okay, why?" Rick asked, sitting down in his chair, and looking up at his friend.

"He wanted to know about you. Ironically, it was Duncan's Watcher. Seems Emmy's been gabbing with Amanda, who is with Duncan right now; who of course is friends with his Watcher. So Amanda asked about you. Donovin, the Watcher, probably looked you up, found out you were tied to a Servant, so called to make sure you were amazing."

Rick laughed weakly. "So why is Amanda calling about me, exactly?"

"I guess she wants to make sure that no one hurts her little girl. Donovin says even if he gives a good report, the way Amanda is acting right now, it may mean she flies down to meet you anyway. I thought I'd give you the heads up."

Rick swore quietly. He stood and paced for a moment, and then he stopped, looked earnestly at Jeff. "I called Joe yesterday. He says it's high time I put an end to this whole thing, and just told everyone the truth. What do you think?"

"Rick, I think you are forgetting something. Immortals take on new names and new lives all the time. It doesn't mean you're lying. You are Rick now. No matter how much I may tease you. Mortals even change their names on occasion to get away from their old lives." Jeff sank into the chair, letting himself rest for a moment.

"So, letting Mac think I was dead wasn't a lie." Rick's lips thinned.

"A mislead, certainly, but not a lie. You forget, I've never known you as Richie Ryan. As far as I'm concerned, you are two different people. You grew up when you took on your new identity. The boy that Duncan MacLeod knew is, for lack of a better word, dead."

Rick slumped back down into his chair. "It's still a lie, Jeff. You can call the apple a pear, but it still tastes like an apple. I know him. I know how bad it hurt him to think he killed me, and I know how hard it will be for him to accept that I'm still alive. I also know how bad it will hurt him to find out that Joe and I kept this from him for so long, together. Then he'll want to know why, and the truth is I don't have the answer to that anymore."

"Don't you?" Jeff asked, leaning forward and looking into Rick's eyes.

"No, I don't. At first, I ran because I was afraid of him. I was tired of almost getting killed by him, and I wanted out of this whole mess he was going through with Ahriman. Then, after the years went by, and I grew up a little more, it stopped being about that. It was just easier to live my own life; to stay away. I don't really have a reason for keeping the deception up this long, except that I wanted to continue having my own life. One I'd finally made for me. I wasn't Duncan MacLeod's shadow anymore, but a separate person. I had respect, friends, clientele, and a business all my own, and I did it on my own. I think I stayed away so long because I wanted to create a life for myself that he could be proud of. So that if he did ever find out that I was still alive, he'd be able to say 'I trained that one.'" Somewhere in the middle of this speech, Rick had gotten up and started pacing the floor again. He stopped and turned to face Jeff, misery etched on his face. "Is it sad for a thirty-six-year-old man to want someone to be proud of him?"

"Well, I'm twenty-four and I still want my family to be proud of me, so I don't think so. Everyone wants someone to be proud of them."

Rick blinked, his face smoothing out, and nodded. "I've grown so much in the last fourteen years, and I think you're right. I think Richie did die that day. The name doesn't even seem to fit anymore. I recreated myself. It's been a great blessing. But all this talk still doesn't solve anything. I still don't know if I should just tell the truth, or wait for the truth to come and find me."

"Well, let me put it for you like this; when surprise is on your side, it's usually better than when it is not. If I was you, and you really do want to have something happen between you and Emmy, I'd put your hand on the table before someone spills it for you." Jeff got up and stretched. "I'm tired, and we still have to get over to the Edison tonight for dinner with Mr. Chase. I swear, if we have to sit through many more of these boring will-meetings I'm going to tell the man the truth. No amount of money is worth this kind of torture."

Rick laughed. "Do you want me to take Emmy tonight? It will make it look less suspicious if I take a lady friend with me this time..."

"If she is game for listening, taping boring legal information, and trying to piece it together for a rich client, I would love the night off. I have to study for the GRE, anyway," Jeff said, leaning against the door frame.

Rick looked surprised. "Why are you taking the GRE? I thought you were totally done with schooling, and never going back to it again."

"I tried to tell you the other day, but we got interrupted. Ms. Green, the publisher, wants to not only make me one of their regular agents, but wants me to get a Master's degree so that she can train me to one day be her successor at the paper, and take over when she retires. Stacy, her secretary, says she's never spoken to anyone about that before, and I should feel honored."

Rick looked at him in the way that only he could. A way that always made Jeff feel naked. "I thought you hated Ms. Green. That she was the dragon lady from the underworld."

"She still is. Even more so now that she's taken such an interest in my life. If I do it, though, I get an actual job at the paper, which pays better, and benefits. Oh, and they pay me back for my tuition at college too."

"Wow," Rick said, his eyes still boring into Jeff, "that's awesome. I'm happy for you."

"No you're not. If I get this job and start working full-time and going to school, it means I'll have less time with you and the investigative work."

Rick smiled slightly. "I don't need to be a detective. I make more than enough money on the bikes. I don't want to hold you back. Besides, the whole agency was your idea, anyway. If you can't do it anymore, I wouldn't mind closing it down." He blinked a few times and that too-penetrating stare settled into a more normal amusement. "You go home and have a good night. I'll get Emmy over to the Edison. I know she's up for it."

Jeff nodded, yawned, and headed for the door. It was going to be a long night.