Chapter 8: The Mark of Defiance

"Nee-san, Nee-san...! What are you reading...?"

"Hey, Kaga. The Admiral gave this to me. It's called a 'novel'."

"A 'novel'?"

"It's great for learning about human emotions. They derive happiness and comfort from the strangest things."

"Like what...?"

"It said that humans have a way to cleanse the heart from the misery that is caused by other humans."

"Something like that exists?"

"Yes. But you can only do it with someone that you really, really love."

"It sounds weird."

"Well, it seems like a sweet gesture."

"Like something that you save for your most important person?"

"Exactly. Do you want to know about it, Kaga...?"


September arrived, and when the anniversary of the earthquake came, early in the morning I went to Akagi's room with a bag full of snacks. We spent the whole day talking, eating, and playing games. In the afternoon I brought her to the sea to pray, since none of her sisters had graves. We just sat there on the beach until the sun set as I patted her head, and she gave me a teary, grateful smile. I supposed that she was slowly coming to terms with the death of her sisters.

At the end of October, I was called to the naval headquarters. After grappling with the problem for some time, the Navy had finally decided to cut the Gordian knot. They had given the green light for my second reconstruction.

They handed me a notice and gave me an official explanation that I was put on a reserve status to undergo an extensive modernization.

Most of it was gobbledegook to me, but at least I understood that 1) they would convert my triple flight decks into a single, longer one to support heavier, stronger aircrafts, 2) they would give me extra power to enable faster speeds, and 3) they would apply Akagi's downward-facing funnel system to me to reduce heat. They stated that the reconstruction would take about one year, give or take a few months or so. I guessed the whole process was more complicated than that, but that was all I noted from their explanation. By the time they got on to more technical matters, it was all Greek to me. I had a good grounding in my shooting skills, but yeah... I never really scored high on that theoretical knowledge thing.

Because I was put under reserve, I had much more free time than usual. My position in the 1st Carrier Division was replaced by Ryuujou and Houshou, with Ryuujou as the flagship. This news went over well with both of them.

After going back to her training routines, Akagi usually spared some time to see me after that day's fleet exercise was over. I already told her that she didn't have to visit me so often just because I did that when she was being refitted, but she only said, "You have to learn to give and take, Kaga-san" while handing me a fresh portion of whatever she was eating at that time.

What exactly this relationship that we had was, I never tried asking her.

Over the months we grew closer than ever, and although other fleet girls visited me sometimes, Akagi remained the only one that I was the most comfortable with. I didn't really understand how she did that, either. She didn't really share much about herself, but she was honest about pretty much everything else. She was often curious about me, but she never pushed me to give her answers. There was just something in the way she cared about me: never too much, but never too little.

After Akagi found out that I hardly went out of my room, she dragged me outside and introduced me to various fleet girls and activities, although I was just going along with whatever she wanted to make her stop griping about it.

They ranged from something simple like getting together for a drink, to outrageous ones like when she introduced me to a certain land transportation...

"...To be honest... I didn't expect the key would go in that easily. I thought they would put more security measure on this thing."

"Akagi-san...are you sure this is allowed...? Houshou-san's told us not to go getting ourselves into trouble."

"Very sure! Tenryuu-san's taught me how to do this. Now put your feet over there, and step on the gas, Kaga-san."

"I'm pretty sure this is not allowed..."

"There's nobody else down the road. This vehicle is public property of the base. Every member of the Navy is allowed to use it. It'll be fine."

"Every authorized member of the Navy. I don't know how to drive this thing!"

"Well, you have to start somewhere. I mean, none of us could even sail smoothly on our first try."

"That's different! We're meant to move efficiently on water, not on land."

"Come on, Kaga-san. Don't you want to see it move? I never see it move even once. I wonder why."

We found out why the hard way.

Somebody must have forgotten to put a sign that the old grimy jeep was out of order, because after I did as what Akagi asked me to, we realized the thing didn't have a working break pedal.

Why the jeep still had enough petrol in it to carry us down the whole road, we never knew.

After we let out what probably were the loudest screams in our life, the vehicle zoomed toward a building in the corner where...

We saw a long-haired girl leisurely walking by while reading a book.

And this was going to turn into a scene of a grisly crime if we didn't do something.

"There's a person!"

"I thought you said the road's empty!"

"It was empty!"

"Why did she keep walking to us? ! Didn't she hear us coming?"

"Hey! Look out! Stop reading! Get out of the way!"

"The steer!"

In a last minute stunt that I never imagined, we managed to turn the steer wildly, causing the jeep to change direction in a blinding, nausea-inducing spin before we crashed into a tree at the side of the road.

I hit my head against the front window because of the impact, getting a small pulsing lump as a result. Smoke was coming out of the front of the jeep. I was glad they didn't put some sort of alarm on this thing, or maybe it was broken too. Akagi was just picking herself up from the dashboard when I yelled, "The girl! Did we run into the girl? !"

She gave a sudden jerk of her head and hurriedly open the door, which was luckily still working.

Behind the jeep, the girl was lying on the road with her eyes closed.

I panicked. I was pretty sure she was a fleet girl, and this kind of impact shouldn't be able to kill her outright.

I kneeled down beside her and tried to wake her up, but it didn't work.

"She's fainted, but she's breathing..." I commented, checking her body for injuries.

"She's sleeping," Akagi concluded.

And I realized she was right, the girl with long black hair was breathing rhythmically in a relaxed manner that could only be associated with sleeping.

"Good grief! How could she sleep after almost being hit by a car? !"

"She might be tired...?"

Then to my horror, we suddenly heard the sound of approaching footsteps and the voice of a male stranger from across the road.

Worst timing ever.

"So they said...the old jeep will have to go."

"Don't you think they get more smug lately? And they still won't tell us where all that money goes!"

"I wish they would just let me fix... Whoa, what the fuck!"

Hoping with all my might that the jeep was big enough to hide us from view, I quickly carried the girl and slipped away before they could get a good look at us. Akagi followed suit, keeping her footsteps as quiet as possible as we fled from the scene of our crime.

I didn't really know what I was doing.

"Kaga-san, why are we running away?"

"Because if the Navy find out about this, they'll punish us for sure!"

"Won't it be worse when they find out we're running away?"

"So don't get caught!"

We ran as far away as we could and only stopped when we were completely out of breath. None of the guys went after us, so they probably didn't spot us there. My arms were sore from carrying the sleeping girl around. Akagi seemed to notice that, because she kept staring at me and asked, "How long do you plan to carry her around?"

I raised an eyebrow. Why did she sound angry...? Or was it just me...?

Before I could respond, a voice suddenly cried out to us.

"Hatsuyuki-chan...!"

My instinct when I saw two girls in short-sleeved blue and white sailor uniform running to us was to dash as fast as I could to the opposite direction.

But they sounded more worried than suspicious, and Akagi seemed to know one of them because she called, "Fubuki-san?"

"A-Akagi-san!" The girl with the low short ponytail hurriedly gave us a tiny bow.

The other girl, whose brown hair was tied into pigtails, looked much calmer than her companion. "Nice to meet you, Akagi-san, Kaga-san. I'm Shirayuki, 2nd ship of the Fubuki-class destroyers, of the 11th Destroyer Division."

When she heard that, Fubuki quickly gave us a nervous salute. "I-I'm Fubuki, 1st ship of the Fubuki-class destroyers, also of the 11th Destroyer Division!"

"I'm Akagi, 1st ship of the Akagi-class aircraft carrier, of the 2nd Carrier Division."

"Kaga, 1st ship of the Kaga-class aircraft carrier, of the 1st Carrier Division," I introduced myself, as the pain in my arms were getting worse, "And who is this girl I'm carrying...?"

"Ah, sorry! She's our flagship."

"This is your flagship?"

"Kaga-san, that's rude."

But seriously. She didn't look like she could pack a punch, or even make the grade to become a flagship.

"I'm sorry. Hatsuyuki sleeps a lot, but she's great when she's serious," Shirayuki explained.

Huh, it went against the grain to make someone like her a flagship. I supposed she was pretty talented.

"Akagi-san, Kaga-san, thank you so much for finding Hatsuyuki-chan!" Fubuki piped out.

"Not a problem," Akagi replied with a smile, which made Fubuki blush bright red.

"Um...you're hurt," Fubuki pointed out.

"Oh, it was just from practice," Akagi lied, "We'll be fine. Just take Hatsuyuki-san back to her room, okay...?"

After Fubuki and Shirayuki left with Hatsuyuki, who slept through the whole thing, Akagi and I scurried to my empty room before anyone else could question us about our injuries. Once we were safe inside, I locked the room and said, "Akagi-san, they wouldn't be this grateful if they knew we almost killed her when we found her."

Akagi just laughed as she leaned her back against the door. "That was fun. I can't imagine those old men's faces when they find out," she grinned, wiping some sweat from her forehead.

"We nearly lost our necks..." I stared at her in disbelief, "How can you laugh about this? Let me see your wounds."

"They're just bruises and scratches. I'm fine."

I ignored her and grabbed hold of her hands, examining them closely.

"Are you sure? No broken bones anywhere?" I tried flexing her wrist and she gave me an amused look.

"Kaga-san, you're so caring and kind."

The more I spent time around Akagi, the harder it was to hide my blush when she said something like this.

"It's just basic decency..." I retaliated, "Because I don't know why you're getting more careless lately."

"It's okay. I just don't care about what the Navy think of me anymore."

Right. I noticed that there was something off about Akagi after her refit. She seemed ...bolder, and more rebellious. She rarely went out to the docks anymore, and chose to shower in private instead. She never told me the reason to that. I guessed now it was time to talk.

"Akagi-san..." I started, "What happened...?"

"What do you mean, 'what happened'?" Akagi asked, sitting on my bed and taking off her chest protector.

"You've been acting strange..."

"Whatever you're talking about...?" she shrugged nonchalantly.

I thought she was just not used to going back to routine fleet exercises, so I suggested, "Are you okay? You look sick. Maybe a day off would do you a power of good."

"I'm fine."

"Akagi-san..." I said again in a warning tone.

"I don't understand you, Kaga-san."

So stubborn.

As I was thinking about ways to get a confession out of her, she bent down to take off her dirty stockings and I noticed the small gap that her loose cloth made on her chest. Where I expected to see smooth skin or a cleavage, I saw neither of those.

What I saw instead was the tip of a clear jagged line.

I grabbed at her wrist and she let out a tiny gasp.

Ignoring her protests, I put my other hand on her shoulder and looked at her straight in the eye. "Akagi-san... Take off your clothes."

I thought I saw a pink tinge on her cheeks when she exclaimed, "What...? !"

"You're hiding something from me."

"What's with you, Kaga-san? !"

"Take them off. Now."

"You can't force me to do that! Stop it!"

She tried to push me away from her, but I was stronger than her and while grappling with her I seized her gi and forcefully pulled it down to her arms.

It was beyond anything that I expected.

Akagi's chest was now marred by a broad scar, long enough to run the length of her skin from her left collarbone down to the spot just above her right breast. It had a purplish shade of color except for its rough edges, which were pale, unsightly, and resembled flesh. It was like looking directly at a monstrous, insect-like creature that lived directly above her heart.

I didn't know what kind of expression I was wearing on my face.

That gruesome appearance and the thickness of the tissue revealed hints on just how terrible the wound that gave her that scar was.

Out of the blue I was engulfed by an emotion so strong that I wasn't capable to think.

All I wanted was to find out whoever did this to her and shoot them to oblivion, gouge their eyes out, put them under a torture deserving of Akagi's disfigurement...

"...Kaga...san..."

It was when I realized that I was far too focused on the scar that I didn't notice she was crying.

I weakly let go of her and she covered her chest with her gi, looking more dejected than ever.

The flaming fury in my mind was slowly dissipated by guilt.

"I'm sorry... I..." I mumbled.

"I didn't want you to know..." she sniffed.

"They gave you that, didn't they...?" I tried asking, referring to the higher-ups of the Navy, "There's no way they just made you a gofer like you said..."

"One of them lost their temper that day, when they were gotten together to decide my punishment after you left..." she confessed, "The mechanics told them I would need further repairs and that would cost quite a fortune for the Navy. And then... and then..."

She shut her eyes and shook her head, as if she was refusing to remember.

"They ordered the mechanics to teach me a lesson. Something that would always remind me of my disobedience, something that would remind everyone of my noncompliance when I fail, something that would always stay and visibly humiliate me, without affecting my performance in battle," she continued, "...So the mechanics just stripped off my clothes and carved this on me in front of them."

She was shaking from head to toe, sobbing uncontrollably.

It was painful.

It was painful when the person you cared about was hurt and there was nothing that you could do but be the shoulder for her to cry on.

I would give anything to stand in that room, right then and there, to offer my body in place of hers.

Akagi would probably never accept that huge scar with good grace...but even so... I still think that she...

"You're perfect."

The words slipped out of my mouth and Akagi's weepy eyes met mine in plain confusion.

"They did this to me because..."

"I know. I know why. And they made this a part of you. You're still you," I held her face in my palms, "This would sound cruel...and selfish... and I'm okay if you're mad at me for this but... I was so afraid that they... would brainwash you or... change your personality or... make you forget all about us... about me. What they did was unforgivable and you're understandably angry but... I'm glad that... with that scar... you don't change, you don't lose your memories, you're perfect... because you're still the Akagi-san that I know and love..."

I shouldn't be saying this to her. I made it all about me instead of her. Other girls would've slapped me in an instant.

But Akagi seemed to be so concerned with her scar that she didn't believe that I could accept her fully. She just slumped on the bed, tormented by memories as her eyes filled with agony.

Humans had wounded her to the point that she didn't trust anyone anymore.

Tosa-nee-san...

We're still just as naive as we were when you were still alive...

Thinking that we're God's gift to humanity...

Such foolishness...

Akagi clenched my hand tightly on her lap, as if she was trying to hold on to the something that could keep her together, something that could save her from utterly collapsing into nothingness. A drop of her tear trickled down from her chin to the back of my hand and it felt like a stab on my skin.

Akagi-san...Akagi-san...Please don't cry...

I wish I could just...

Take all that pain away...

Provide you with anything you wish for...

Protect you with everything that I have...

...But I am not even strong enough to stop those tears from falling...

I didn't understand what came over me, but...I took a deep breath and said to her, "Akagi-san... Did you know that humans have a way to cleanse the heart from the misery that is caused by other humans...?"

The beads of water that sparkled on her eyelashes showed such beauty that contrasted the cruel treatment that caused them to appear.

I wanted to relieve her of everything...the memories...the torment...the scar... But all I could do was just this outrageous idea I had that might or might not help alleviate her suffering...

I carefully drew closer, lessening the distance between our faces. When our noses almost brushed against each other, I saw her eyes widening slowly, as if her mind was in the middle of registering what I attempted to do. I prepared myself to step back once she showed any sign of resistance, but she didn't. I treated her like the most delicate being in existence, patiently waiting for her to let me, accept me as I daringly crossed the boundaries that we had unconsciously set up between us. She didn't break eye contact with me, neither did she pull away. But instead, her lids began to cover my reflection on her pupils... and that sealed it.

The first touch of our lips was lighter than a feather.

It seemed surreal, more accidental and spontaneous than anything... but as soon as I tasted her soft, sweet flavor, my life was altered forever.

I knew I was going to regret this later. It made me grateful that realization dawned on me before I could go any further than a peck on her lips, because this kiss would haunt me for the rest of my days.

What was I thinking...?

I kissed her...

I kissed Akagi-san...

Akagi's reaction was blank and unreadable. Just as I thought that I was making it worse, she opened her mouth and muttered a few words that made my heart soar to the skies.

"Kaga-san... I think it's working..." she whispered to my ear, "...Can we please do it again...?"

In the grey half-light of the room, I was captivated by her beauty when she proceeded to entwine her fingers behind the nape of my neck.

I was far too comfortable in this grip of lust.

There was no way that I could refuse her request.


October 1933

Being perceived as inferior to Akagi due to her slower speed, smaller flight deck, and problematic funnel arrangement, Kaga was prioritized for a modernization and was lowered to reserve status to start her second major reconstruction. Aside from giving her replaced gears and funnel, extra power and displacement, new turrets and anti-aircraft guns, this reconstruction would convert her triple flight decks to an extended single deck, which would raise her aircraft capacity to 90.