Chapter 14: Second Sino-Japanese War: Air Attack

There was no time for dinner, so Akagi's bento was actually a godsend for me.

I felt bad about eating it in a hurry. But I already wasted a lot of time just admiring the onigiri she made in the shape of adorable white bunnies, with tiny strips of nori as their eyes and ears.

I needed to give proper thanks to her later.

Not long after that, I was out in the dark and cold sea with my fleet mates.

When my planes engaged enemy aircraft over the coast, I was the only one who could clearly observe the battle.

A carrier's line of sight generally merged with her planes' once they were separated from her, and I could watch the whole air battle and bombing attempts as long as not all of my planes were shot down. Strategic bombing on important facilities was nothing new for me. We had estimated that even with my reduced number of planes, we still had an advantage over the enemy. The plan that the Navy hatched up was far from a hare-brained scheme, but like Hatsuyuki had told me, war would still not tolerate any mistakes.

It wasn't hard to say that it all went smoothly at first. We didn't come across any enemy ships while sailing. The destroyers looked tense but they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Maya was openly fond of them, especially the timid ones like the redhead Mutsuki and her sister ship Mikazuki, who unlike her wears a black sailor uniform and has long dark hair. The more noisy ones, like the twin-tailed Sazanami, went on her merry way with Yuudachi's sister ship Samidare, who seemed to be so excited for this escort mission. Samidare's long straight hair waved under the sunlight, reminding me of an aircraft carrier I had left behind.

What would become of Akagi-san and I when I return...?

Hatsuyuki had warned me of the dangers that every fleet girl is forced to face since the day they were born.

Is it really okay for me to let these feelings grow again...?

Or am I cursing myself by daring to take a step into this forbidden territory...?

These feelings I had for Akagi were like a haunting melody; they echoed throughout my days even when I tried to ignore them, and they kept coming back night after night, coloring my dreams until my pillow was stained with tears.

Although I found her hard going at times, for me, loving her from the bottom of my heart was no less natural than breathing.

I couldn't ignore it even if I wanted to, and more than once I desperately needed her to hold my hand, although I knew what horrible fate I would get myself into if I let these feelings grow.

I could end up breaking her heart even more.

And she didn't have that much of it left...

Why...?

Why am I in love with Akagi-san?

And why can't I stop loving her, no matter how much I forced myself to...?

I could only assure myself that all these insecurities I had were just a hangover from the past, when so many things went wrong in my life.

I tried to put these thoughts out of my head and distract myself by watching Sazanami and Samidare playfully trying to sail while crouching on their haunches. Houshou, Ryuujou, and their fleet separated from mine as they went further north. When my fleet had reached our destination, I unleashed the planes to the land. As expected, once they reached the coast, I was alerted by the pilots of the retaliation by several enemy aircraft over the airfield.

"Can you handle that, Kaga-san?" Sazanami asked me.

"It shouldn't be a problem," I replied, closing my eyes to get a better view, "They're not outnumbered. Those excellent kids know what to do."

It was evident that I was right. It wasn't long until the enemy began to open fire at us, and my fighter pilots took it with a cool head. Decreasing the distance between them and the opponent craft, their superb maneuvering allowed them to encourage overshooting; it turned the battle to their favor. Within minutes, they managed to win the dogfight and three enemy aircraft were shot down without any loss from our side. When I was surveying the area for more enemies, switching back and forth from the view of one plane to the next, I heard Houshou's unclear voice in my ears.

"Carrier Division 2, do you copy?"

I hurriedly put my hand on my ear, adjusting the radio wave.

"We just shot down three fighters," I reported.

"Good work. We want to inform you that one of our planes spotted some bombers heading your way. We're tracking them now, but we could be wrong. They might give you a hard time."

I scratched my head, thinking of the implication of this. Even when only very few of my planes were attacking the airfield, while the rest went further inland for strategic bombing missions, it just wasn't possible for them to not notice some bombers going past my fighters to our position. There had to be some sort of mistake. Even so, the fleet girls were all alert and sailing in close formation. Protection was close at hand.

"We didn't spot any bom-"

"Kaga-san, look...!"

Samidare's panicked voice prompted me to look up and my heart sank to my stomach.

Even with my plain sight I could see the small dots high up in the sky above us.

There was no time to escape.

A few dots dived down to a lower altitude and my brain quickly tried to guess its bombing target.

An unsettling feeling welled up inside me and my eyes fell on Mikazuki, who was unfortunately distracted by the flying craft in the sky.

Words were forming in her mouth.

"Are those..."

"Get away from there...! !"

"Assume anti-aircraft formation!"

Just as I tried to reach to the raven-haired destroyer, the bombs dropped and all hell broke loose.

The first nearly missed Mikazuki as terror filled her expression, and before she could move to a safe place, more bombs hit the seas around us with a massive splash. Mutsuki, who sailed not far from her, quickly realized what was happening and her high-pitched scream was like a dozen needles that scratched their way across my forehead. Amidst the vehement shouting, blaring gunshots, and burning planes vanishing beneath the combers, I made a beeline for the defenseless Mikazuki who was the unlucky target of a few persistent bombers. I could see her motions getting dangerously unstable, with all the blasts around her. The girl looked more fragile than anything in my eyes.

This moment was when I realized that my soft voice was a disadvantage in battle.

Or maybe it was my unnecessary hero complex.

"Mikazuki-san!" I hollered, extending my arm to her with all my might, "Give me your hand...!"

"Kaga-san, no...!" Maya's shrill voice cut through the clamor and explosions, "No, don't break out of the formation! Somebody stop her!"

"What? I can't hear myself think!"

"We're all having our hands full here!"

It was too late, the fleet girls who had circled me in a perfect diamond formation to protect their carrier flagship stared wide-eyed at me when I recklessly rushed toward Mikazuki like a bat out of hell. She responded to me in her panic, clinging to my chest plate when another bomb was casted down to the empty spot right next to us. The rushing shockwave that followed hard on the violent shattering nearly toppled us as the resulting high arches of water came splashing down onto our heads.

I could taste the salt in my mouth when Maya yelled out a signal for the rest of the fleet to fire simultaneously at the remaining planes over us.

I heard the final noise of an engine when the last of the planes crashed into the sea.

After a few moments of peace, my breathing started coming back to normal. Mikazuki's trembling body was still safe in my protection, although her sleeves were torn and the armaments on her back were only held on by a single strap on her shoulder. The girl kept sending anxious looks to her fellow destroyers, as if she felt like she had done a grave mistake by staying in my embrace like that moment, all eyes were on us.

I cursed inwardly. I had totally got that coming to me.

I didn't injure myself, but I wished I had used my head before I acted.

Mutsuki was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Mikazuki-chan...!"

When Mikazuki heard her voice, she yanked herself away from me and directly threw herself to Mutsuki's arms.

"Thank you...Kaga-san," they both intoned nervously.

"Carrier Division 1? This is Carrier Division 2," Maya reported through the radio with her hand on her ear, "Things went a little bit haywire, but everything is completely under control. Nobody is damaged, there're absolutely no injuries that would require a long time to heal up. ...All hands on deck? No. Are you looking down on us? ...Of course, since it happens that the fleet have me, Maya-sama, as their cruiser to stop those planes from wreaking havoc. You have to see it first hand to get it!...Ryuujou, if you keep talking like that I'll hang you up on the naval yard flagpole. Yes, I'm saying you're short. ...What did you just say about Choukai, you flat top! ? Wait until I lay my hands on you!"

As Maya continued her quarrel with Ryuujou, I turned to Mutsuki and Mikazuki to give them a stern warning. "Next time, you have to be more careful."

Their reaction was a bit different from what I expected. Mutsuki immediately hid herself behind Mikazuki's back, her face almost as red as her hair. Meanwhile, Mikazuki regarded me with a calm, formal manner that hardly reflected how vulnerable she looked before.

"Kaga-san...I'm sorry that I was careless just now and became a burden to you, I promise I will become a better escort."

Her confident tone surprised me a little.

"Yeah, that's the spirit, Mikazuki!" Sazanami piped in, "Kaga-san! Mikazuki was aiming to become a carrier escort! She's very hard-working, she's already considered to become one! So it might be a good thing that she learnt about air attacks...uh, the hard way."

"So I've heard," Samidare popped up beside her and said innocently, "Why is everyone aiming to become a carrier escort? It sounds boring."

"Well, it might be a fad of old destroyers."

"Does that mean you're old?"

"Rude! I'm only four years older than you, Samidare! And what have you got against being carrier escorts anyway?"

"May I interrupt, please?" Maya stood between them and separated the two destroyers, "The troops had all landed safely, we can go back when Kaga-san's planes have returned. And Kaga-san...?"

"Yes?"

"We need to talk. About...strategy...uh, fleet...and what have you."

I instantly knew what she wanted to discuss.

Swallowing hard, I followed Maya back to our base, and she didn't look at me once as she sailed at the head of the fleet. When we arrived, she didn't even wait for us to get our armaments off before pulling me to the side and having me sit on an empty pier.

She snatched my bow and tried to lift it with her hands.

"Damn, this thing looks like it's made of bamboo, but it's heavy as heck."

I saw her struggling with it and breathed out, "Can I have that back? You're going to drop it in the water at this rate."

"Not until I finish this talk," she said sternly, "Kaga-san, mention at least three things that you did wrong just now."

My brows furrowed. On the one hand, I was aware that I deserved a warning, but on the other, I didn't particularly enjoy being scolded. I knew that if I tried to run, Maya would hitch me to that pier until I agreed to sit down and talk.

"Can't we just..."

"No," she interjected, and her accusing glare caused me to look down in shame. It's no fun arguing with someone when they're like a bear with a sore head.

"...I was careless..."

"That's one."

"...I endangered myself and almost wasted everyone's efforts to protect their flagship..."

"That's two."

"...And I could've gotten everyone in trouble because of it..."

She took a deep breath in front of me, heralding her stream of rebuke.

"It's time for you to learn a few home truths. You were uninjured because despite the situation, most of your escorts were on hand. If we measure your worth from the number of planes you hold, the quality of your pilots, and your recent reconstruction, you're easily the head of all aircraft carriers right now. Did you understand how much punishment everyone would get if you were damaged in such a simple mission? Have a heart! When those destroyers found out they were going to be given a task to escort you, the squeaky clean, freshly-modernized standard carrier capable of hauling the most planes a ship could ever carry, they became more anxious and tense than ever, but they still threw themselves heart and soul to the job. I wish you could take the hint and keep yourself safe until the responsibility was out of their hands, but noooo, you had to go and throw yourself under a rain of bombs flashing a sign saying 'I'm the flagship, please murder me!'. It just so happened that those bombers didn't have the capacity to sink you, but imagine that they did. You heard them earlier...Mikazuki would forever lose her dream to become a carrier escort. And what would we say to Akagi-san, who was probably hanging your pictures on her wall at this very moment, or waiting for you to come home in the heat of the day, then only hearing about your death third hand?"

The more I watched her nearly jumping up and down in her anger, the more I felt disgusted by my own actions. When Akagi's name was mentioned, I could envision her crying over my corpse and my stomach gave a nauseating twitch.

And that is if there is a corpse to cry over.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about that," I regretted, "I was just helping Mikazuki-san. I couldn't stand just doing nothing there and being protected."

"Well, my heart bleeds for you," she leaned closer and coldly lowered her tone, "That is why I need to talk to you in private. As I have said, you're an invaluable aircraft carrier. When we're escorting you, your safety is our top priority, and that means we are ready to sacrifice ourselves if it's necessary to achieve our goal."

I couldn't believe what I just heard.

"Are you implying that... I was supposed to let those bombs hit Mikazuki-san...?"

"She also has the obligation to protect you! You're an important ship, while destroyers..."

"That happens to be our comrade you're talking about!" I said, disbelief was clear in my every word, "This is not right, Maya-san, I thought you are..."

"I know what I'm talking about!" she raised her voice, "Destroyers...they all live their lives knowing that they are at the bottom of the heap...that they are replaceable... every single one of them! But you, Kaga-san, although the Navy treat us the same way it's no secret that they have invested so much in you. Many of us believe our victory in this war hangs on the survival of you, high-performance carriers. It's worth it to give up some ships' lives to save yours. And you have to start to understand that. You have to! Do you hear me?"

I remembered when the enemy planes were already destroyed and I looked at Mikazuki's face, there was no hint of relief there.

There was only trepidation in that pair of pupils.

She must have feared that she had become a hindrance to the fleet.

She must have feared that she got me damaged in my attempt to rescue her.

She must have feared that she was considered a worthless destroyer.

Just what kind of punishment was waiting in store for them...?

Was it worse than how the Navy had punished Akagi back then...?

However, the mere idea that I had to abandon the lives of my escorts to save my own hide was extremely sickening.

I had always been working hard toward becoming a better carrier.

But not...not like this.

I don't want to be this kind of flagship.

I don't want to be an "invaluable" ship.

I don't want to stand around and watch my friends dying around me...!

"Please understand... You are not an average ship anymore, Kaga-san," Maya went on, "Please understand that we cannot let you endanger yourself to save others. Protecting your comrades is a great strategy, but it doesn't hold good in this case."

"I don't want this," I protested, "If they protect me, then I have an obligation to protect them too."

"I can't make head nor tail of how you can be so selfish and selfless at the same time."

I heaved a long sigh. "I can't do this, Maya-san..."

"I know it's hard... I'm telling you this now so you have time to think about it," she crouched down and put her hand on my shoulder, "Besides, even if you don't protect Mikazuki, I know you would be willing take on anything high-risk to protect that one certain fleet girl from harm, and trying to stop you from doing it would be like banging my head against a brick wall."

"That..." I hung back and returned Maya's sad gaze, "...I cannot deny."

Her lips turned up at the ends to form a small smile.

"You can be a handful, but Akagi-san is so lucky to have you," she stood back and handed my bow to me, "And sorry for yelling at you earlier. No hard feelings, okay?"

I only nodded, as there was a large lump in my throat after that conversation.

If Akagi is in danger similar to what Mikazuki faced back then, there is no doubt in my mind that I will try to protect her in any way I can.

"I can't make head nor tail of how you can be so selfish and selfless at the same time..."

No...

You are wrong, Maya-san...

If it involves Akagi-san, there is absolutely no selflessness there...

Just cowardice.

I hope with all my heart that she could survive the war, because I could no longer imagine a life without her.

I would give my life to her, because a life without Akagi-san scares me more than anything.

I would be hard pressed to keep going.

It would be far better for me to sink in the high-water mark of the Navy's power, instead of surviving until the end and watching Akagi-san die.

And it just shows how much of a selfish weakling I truly am, no matter how strong I am as a carrier.

Because I'd rather leave Akagi-san forever... than being left forever by Akagi-san.


16 August 1937

Kaga's fighter planes fought their first battle in the Second Sino-Japanese War over Kiangwan (now Jiangwan). The Type 90 fighters succeeded in shooting down the Chinese's Vought V-65 and Douglas O-38 without loss.