A/N: Kudos to Little Donkey for the beta!
Chapter 17: Second Sino-Japanese War: Reprovision
"And then she said, 'Eat your heart out, Chitose-onee...!' Chitose-san isn't taking any of it, but Chiyoda-san is just much better than her in this game. Then Kirishima-san ended it all because they seemed too drunk to continue..."
I couldn't bring myself to interrupt anything she said as she rambled to her heart's content, recalling the details of her days in the main base.
She would never know how happy it made me to just listen to her...closing my eyes and drowning myself deeper in her cheerful tone.
I didn't care about the terrible sound quality, my mind was on higher things and I just wanted to listen to her voice for the rest of the day. Jintsuu had left the room to get some more water for me, but I was sure she did it out of courtesy, so I could freely have a private talk with Akagi. She did remind me that the call could end suddenly; Sazanami had put up a warning system that would turn off the signal in a snap if something happened or the Navy almost found out.
"Souryuu-san was so nervous when we got to meet Hiryuu-san for the first time," she went on.
"Did they hit off straight away?"
"Not really. I guess Souryuu-san tried to put up an act to be a good senior, but Hiryuu-san saw through her almost immediately. She said something like 'To hell with your stupid act', and Souryuu-san was offended. They argued a little, someone threw a hissy fit, then Souryuu-san got really sad because she thought she couldn't get along well with her partner. So much in fact, that you'd think she suffered the heartbreak of losing an actual partner. It made me talk with Hiryuu-san again to set things right. She gave me a heartfelt apology and explained that she didn't like seeing Souryuu-san trying so hard to impress her when all she wanted was getting to know her one and only partner. She said it was the height of folly that Souryuu-san was being fake in front of her. I couldn't help thinking this was just one big misunderstanding, so I dragged them into the same room to talk it out with each other and start all over. I guess it worked...somehow. I don't really know what happened inside that room, but when they came out, at least they could start talking normally with each other. So I suppose I did the right thing...?"
"I'm sure you did," I replied, "They just need a little push, those kids."
"They really remind me of us...being awkward and everything..."
"And...look how we are now."
The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
There was a pause on the other end that was followed by a nervous giggle.
"I miss you so much, Kaga-san."
Just hearing her timid tone made the room temperature rise from the sheer heat that radiated from my body.
"I...I miss you too," I muttered, "I ate the bento you made for me."
"How was it...?"
"It was good. I like the bunny onigiri."
"I thought they were a bit messy."
"They were really cute, and a big help."
"Oh, how so...?"
"Well...they didn't really give us dinner so... I kind of...gobbled it up."
She let out a giggle. "Kaga-san, I can't imagine you being so undignified."
"Why should I care about that when eating the food you made for me?"
The silence that followed was enough to tell me that I might have been too forward.
I was so relieved when she laughed heartily before saying in a small voice, "We still need to talk, don't we...?"
"It's not possible, the Navy..."
"I know... They've given orders to me. Officially."
"I'm sorry, it was all my fault..."
The guilt had been lying heavily on my conscience since I realized Akagi wouldn't be able to meet me at all because of my mistake.
And she was missing me so much too.
But Akagi was probably the kindest person that I had ever known.
"I have heard everything. You were really brave to stand up for me like that, Kaga-san."
The fact that she wasn't scolding me or anything, but actually went so far as to praise my stupidity made me really want to hit myself with a hammer.
It was my whole fault that I got helpless with anger.
"It's...I think it's foolish bravado, Akagi-san."
"Well, just think that you get major plus points from me. Is that comforting?"
I chuckled. "Far from it."
"I just don't want you to feel bad about this, Kaga-san..."
"Why...? I'm supposed to spend a lot of time with you."
"I knew you would feel so guilty about this that you started overworking yourself. And judging from the things I heard from Nagato-san, Mutsu-san, and the others, I was right about that."
I couldn't talk back to her.
I was just doing what I was told to do.
"Because of us, we are able to reach the high tide of the war. It was my obligation, Akagi-san, to annihilate as many as I-"
"Kaga-san is not someone who enjoys killing people and robbing people of their families," she interrupted, "There is no way you tried to excel in that. You wouldn't do that unless you have a really strong reason to. I also heard about that high-profile propaganda, Bloody Saturday. If that is your greatest accomplishment...how could you possibly be happy about that...? You are not a soldier who comes back home from a manslaughter with a holier-than-thou attitude. You are not someone who would value something like that as a trophy."
My lips were shaking as her words hit home. "...I was just...just trying to be a good fleet girl..." I stammered, "...It's like nothing I do would ever be enough."
"I know, Kaga-san always tries her best, and it's okay. I just want you to remember one thing," she said with a calming voice, "Even if you don't do anything, even if you make such huge mistakes that they forbid you from meeting me forever, even if you are the worst aircraft carrier in the world... I would still be in love with you."
Once in a while you found a person so strange, so unthinkable to exist...someone who made such a profound impact on you, someone who could make you question just what you had done in life to deserve her.
And each and every time, you would fail to explain her existence in your life.
So you tried harder.
So much harder that you reached a point when that person wanted to look you in the eye and said, "Hey. It's enough."
"You don't need to push yourself even further."
"You don't need to suffer so much for my sake."
And you still wished she would ill-treat you.
"Kaga-san...?"
"That's..." I said, my lips shivering, "That's why I have to avoid these kinds of bans."
"It is okay to make an honest mistake."
"You should be disappointed in me. You should be holding it against me."
"Kaga-san...?"
"Why are you not disappointed in me? ? Just hit me with what you really want to say. I...I messed up...I..."
All of a sudden I was interrupted by a loud buzzing noise and Sazanami's voice came in to the receiver.
"Akagi-san? Kaga-san? I'm sorry, but we detect some suspicious disturbances, we're going to cut you off now."
"Kaga-san, you know," Akagi's voice was becoming unclear as the signal between us began to dwindle, "You know the reason."
The call ended with a long beep as I stared blankly at the corner of the bed.
What were we, fleet girls, supposed to do...?
We were just tools for the humans' insatiable thirst for hurting one another, and we had no illusions about that.
The high-flyers among us who could "hit big", who were prized the most by the Navy, were the ones who could kill the highest number of humans with the most efficient way possible.
Those girls would earn their places in the history books as nothing but prolific killers.
And there was nothing we could do about that.
Do we even believe in immortality?
We have no future.
And yet...I still found myself hoping for a happy future with Akagi, no matter how absurd that sounded.
The next month, my planes were deployed to the recently acquired airfield to support land operations. Not long afterwards, I was called to the admiral office again for a surprising news.
"Reprovision?"
"Yes. We figured it would take a long time for this war to end. We're sending some ships back to the mainland to resupply. For high-maintenance ships like you, this is a necessity. You would also receive new replacement aircraft."
My heart skipped a beat.
I was sent to go back.
I would finally come home.
I didn't know how I could hold back from breaking all rules just to see Akagi, though.
Several days later, I packed my things and sailed homeward while being escorted by some high-speed ships.
We departed in complete secrecy, arriving at the main base in the middle of a quiet night.
My ban was not fully lifted, as I was ordered to stay in the seaplane tenders' base and not in my own room in the standard carrier base.
I would stay there for a day before my reprovision began.
Well... maybe if I was lucky I could get to see Akagi for a minute or two. I was hopeful that I could at least catch a glimpse of her during my stay.
However, it turned out I was totally out of luck.
"If you're looking for your girlfriend, she's not here at the moment."
I didn't realize my mouth had fallen open when the Chitose-class seaplane tenders confronted me with this news. We just happened to meet in the lobby a few hours after my arrival.
"The standard carriers are away on a small two-day vacation to the mountains."
Argh...great...what timing.
I would just hole up in my room and sleep until the reprovision.
A sigh escaped my lips, which seemed to concern Chiyoda.
"Um...Kaga-san... I'm sorry that you have to hold back your sexual frustration for a while longer."
My jaw dropped even lower.
"What! ?"
"Aren't you two going out?"
"No. Well, yes, but...argh, this must be Ryuujou-san's doing. I'm going to slap that runt," I grunted, "And I cannot meet her even if I want to. I was banned."
"Oh, yes, we heard from her."
"Who?"
"Ryuujou-san."
"That I was banned?"
"No, that you are sexually frustra-"
"Stop."
One of these days I should really kick the hell out of that girl.
"So...you're not frustrated...?" Chiyoda asked, twirling her low ponytail with her hands, "If you cannot meet her...then it's a shame but we might as well cancel the whole plan."
"What plan...?"
Why did people like planning things for me without even consulting me first?
"No...it's not actually a plan...it's just that we wanted to join their trip too but she was like, 'Kaga-san would be placed in the seaplane tender base. She might want to come, bring her along.' We think it's a good idea, since three people can sleep in a room there, so you can be our roommate, and you probably need a break from the immensity of the war. We didn't know you were still banned...I guess she didn't, either."
"What...? But she..."
I stopped talking, trying to digest what Akagi meant to do.
Was she serious...?
Was she dropping a hint?
Was she implying to me through Chitose and Chiyoda that I should just ignore the ban?
"Alright...we're really sorry but...I guess we should pack our things now. We'll buy you something from the onsen," Chitose nodded to her brown-haired sister ship before they both headed toward the opposite direction.
"Wait..."
I couldn't stop myself from calling to them, and they turned their heads to me curiously.
I swallowed and braced myself.
"I-I made a mistake. I forgot the ban was already lifted. Can I go with you guys...?"
They looked at each other for a moment before saying yes to me at the same time. To my immense relief, neither of them seemed to notice my lie about Akagi.
Fleet girls were naturally made to follow orders. But give any kind of creature a free will, and it would eventually learn how to rebel.
My mind was a swirling pool of mess and anxiety...but I guessed the risk was worth it to meet Akagi.
Just for a little while.
Just for a little while and I'll go back to working well into the small hours while risking my life on the line.
It's okay as long as the Navy don't find out and I come back before the reprovision starts, isn't it...?
Just for a little while.
Not far from our base there was a small mountain where fleet girls sometimes went to play and rest. It was quite a well-liked destination to go hiking, but fleet girls generally hated being away from water for too long, so the onsen there was more popular.
Chitose, Chiyoda, and I climbed up a bit until we reached the homely traditional onsen.
An elderly lady greeted us when we went in, and Chiyoda discussed about our reservation with her.
As soon as we were showed our room, Chitose immediately put her bag in the corner and arranged the futon before throwing herself on it.
"We're finally here! God...l've always hated hiking."
"Chitose-onee, if I remember correctly, you said you like walking on the hills."
"Hills, yes. Mountains, ugh no. Too tiring! Anyone wanna go on a drink?"
"Chitose-onee...we've just arrived here and you already want to drink?"
"Nothing fits a trip to the onsen better than a drink!"
"Um..." I interrupted them, "Where are others...?"
"No idea, maybe in the baths?"
"You carriers love bathing, don't you?"
"We can rest here while you bath. Just enjoy your time! You need to release all that pent-up stress from the war!"
I felt that I was pretty sweaty myself, and right at that moment I had the urge to bath. What they said was rather amusingly true.
"I guess you're right," I agreed.
"Take your time, Kaga-san. Have fun!"
When I went out of the room, they were already bickering again about drinking.
I found myself agreeing with Chitose, and although I came here to meet Akagi, I supposed this was actually a much needed break for me.
Although I had heard of this onsen before from the other fleet girls, this was the first time that I had been here.
The place was much more peaceful and beautiful than I imagined, with cliffs and forests surrounding the inn and flakes falling outside the window. Chirping birds flew from one branch to the next on the multi-colored canopy, overlying the rustles of the smooth stalks of bamboo and the ceaseless soundtrack of the rushing river below. The inn looked old and worn-out, but it amplified the homey and historic feeling of the place.
It was a simple and perfect place for relaxing. I was prepared to enjoy myself immensely and immerse myself in the dreamy atmosphere.
With each step I felt more excited to experience the hot springs myself.
I shed my clothing and entered the bathing area with high spirits.
I stopped short when I realized amidst the drifting steam in the air that a lone woman was getting up from the springs, with her legs still in the water.
Her wet, black hair that flowed down her head to her naked back swept my mind blank with a single blink.
I was ill-prepared.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't speak.
I was immobilized from head to toe when she noticed me at the bath entrance and opened her mouth, with hot drops of water trickling down her reddened face.
"Kaga-san...?"
26th September 1937
Kaga returned to Japan to reprovision and receive replacement aircrafts.
A/N: Happy Midway Day everyone! This chapter of Disassembled would probably be my last release in a while and all of my fics would be put on hold as I would be dedicating my whole time to work on several Kancolle yuri projects. However, I would try my best to keep up with my usual pace at least for Disassembled, but if it is not possible, I apologize to you all. Would there be a rating change next chapter? Who knows! But this fic might suddenly disappear from the K-T fic list lol. Thank you for reading, R&R!
