He points t'gun at me, an' I know I fucked up.

Rick was right. Recruiting's a waste of time. Worse, 's dangerous. Now I know.

Now it's too late.

"We're sorry…"

"You gonna be."

But not as much as me. What will I tell t'others? What will I tell Rick?

I watch them drive away, on m'bike, with m'crossbow. I feel almost numb. The shame's like a punch to t'gut. M'insides are churnin.

Don' give in. Don' puke. Don' let this be as it was after Sophia. 'm not who I was then. Let me be able t'handle this better. Please, oh please…

I start walkin, nothin else I can do. It's real slow, m'leg's stiff from when the bike fell on it when I lay it down during t'chase. M'hip hurts something awful. I put m'right hand where t'leg joins it an wish I hadn't Pain shoots through me, makes m'feel sick.

I gotta stop, try'n breathe. I lean against one of them burnt trees, try'n get air in m'lungs without gaggin. M'left arm is throbbin, and I look down. The wounds aren' deep, but they're full of dirt now, an already red'n puffy.

Great, jus' great. More infection, more antibiotics. Like I need that 'gain.

M'head's pure agony. Is there any part of me that's not fucked up?

I limp on, need t'get away from here, find t'others while I can still move.

Why does this keep happenin? Why do I never do anythin right?

-.-

"Hey man, you sure you can still drive? You don't look so good…"

We're drivin to Alexandria in t'truck I found, the truck those assholes were lookin for. Abe'n Sasha were where we got separated, which is lucky cos I don' think I could've gone lookin for them, not the state 'm in. Cos Abe's right. 'm not so good…

"Daryl?" Sasha looks me over, an' I try t'ignore her. "Are you all right? Abe's not wrong, you look really pale…"

"'m fine…"

We jus' heard a voice on t'radio calling for help, and all I want t'do is get us home quick as I can. No time t'lose, who knows what's happening back there. And I don' feel like answering no questions, neither.

I can' tell 'em what happened, that these people double crossed me. I jus' can'…

"You're not fine. Daryl, stop the truck, let Abe drive…"

"We gotta get back… 'm good t'drive, really…"

"No, you're not, man…"

They're right, course they're. My head hurts somethin awful an' I can' really concentrate on t'road. M'leg's on fire. I hardly noticed it for most of t'day but now it hurts so bad. An' I feel dizzy, an' sick, an' it's no use pretendin I don'.

If we crash now, that'll be my fault. Again, me fucking up.

That thought makes me stop t'truck. Abe gets out and walks round t'front. I sit for a moment, look straight ahead, willin the dizziness down.

"Daryl…"

Gaze worried, Sasha puts her hand on m'arm and I flinch, I can' help it. A bout of pain shoots through m'head and it's all I can do to not puke all over t'cabin. When I can breathe again I open t'door and give her a half glance over one shoulder.

"Ya got yer wish. I stopped…"

Abe's waiting for me t'get out an' I try t'move without showing how much it hurts. 's no use. When I put m'left foot on t'ground the pain in m'hip is liked barbed wire an' I yell before I can stop m'self as m'knee gives way.

Lucky Abe's there. He catches me, else I would've fallen onto t'road.

"Easy man…"

Soon as I think m'leg will cooperate and I won' black out I pull away from him.

"'s ok, can manage…"

I limp round the truck, still feelin dizzy an' hold on to the hood to keep m'balance. Shit, they've seen it now, no use pretendin.

I climb in next t'Sasha, and it's the hardest thing I feel I've ever done, getting into that truck's cabin again. She wants t'help but I ignore her hand.

Finally 'm in the seat. 'm wheezing like I've just run a mile, and m'ears are like stuffed with cotton wool. I feel sick, but maybe if I don' move I can keep it down.

"Here."

Sasha holds out a water bottle. I shake m'head.

"Drink, Daryl. You look like you're about to pass out, and what use is that gonna be?"

True enough. I take t'bottle, drink some water, and it makes me notice just how hot and parched 'm bein. The water is soothin and I feel a bit less like death warmed over.

I know 's no use, tho. They won' want m'help, back at Alexandria or anywhere. 'm stupid, weak. When they find out what I did. No, what I failed t'do… They're better off without me.

I look out t'window, ignore t'other two. I hate myself, an' with each mile we cover 'm more convinced t'others do, too.