A/N: Sorry it took so long. Work is starting to calm down to the point where I'm relaxing. I believe that this story is coming to an end very soon, I don't know when or how long, but I just feel it is. But for now enjoy this chapter and I'm sorry for the wait! Please review.

Words in Bold = Another Language

Italics = Flashbacks

Italics/Bold = Letters, dreams

Trapped in Time

Chapter 18

Estrella was the first one to wake up, the dawn lighting up just outside the open balcony doors. She could feel the weight of Balian's arm around her naked waist, as well as his body pressed against her back, warmth seeping into her. She closed her eyes, pushing back the heart she was feeling of what she was to do in just a few hours. Exhaling softly Estrella moved out of Balian's arms and grabbed her robe. She looked back at Balian when he sighed, turning on to his stomach and reaching out on the empty spot she just vacated.

When he promptly fell back asleep Estrella sighed with relief and started to gather their clothes, placing them on the chair at the end of the bed. Then she grabbed some fresh clothes and walked out into the hall, stopping a servant woman walking by.

"Excuse me, is there another place I can bathe?"

She nods and motions for her to follow. Estrella quietly closes the door behind her and follows the servant to a door just a couple of doors from her room. Thanking her Estrella enters the room to see there was a large round tub on the floor–something that resembled what the Roman's have, which is possible. Locking the door behind her Estrella quickly bathed, her emotions morbid with her leaving everything she's known and the man she loves, and the friend's she loves behind.

Pushing the emotion down Estrella quickly bathed and then changed into black leggings and a blue tunic. She walked back to her room to see that Balian had been woken and left her room, making her sigh with relief. She moved over to the changing screen and grabbed her bag of items and walked back to the door. Peering out she stopped another servant woman and asked her to take it to the stables and her horse.

Inhaling deeply the woman walked down the corridor and stopped short at the man who rounded the corner, grinning. Hospitaler stopped before the woman and took her arms, holding her at arm lengths and looking her up and down. He raised an eyebrow, his grin of greeting becoming that of knowing. Estrella's smile fell as her cheeks hurt from the blush that was starting to spread quickly.

"My, my, I dare say that it is about time something had happened between you and Balian."

Estrella held back from grinding her teeth from embarrassment, "It's nice to see you too Hospitaler; and it was something that should have never happened again."

The older man frowned, staring at the woman closely. "What are you planning?"

Estrella was saved from answering by the one person she didn't want to see just yet, but plastered a smile. Balian smiled in returned, coming to stand in between the two of them, placing a hand on Hospitaler's shoulder in greeting.

"Estrella, Hospitaler, the hanging is about to start in the private court yard."

They nodded and they started walking down the hall, Balian immediately at her side and touching his fingers with hers every few seconds. Estrella bit her lower lip, trying hard not to cry at the fact she will never have his touch again after today. She tried not to show her emotions because Hospitaler was already curious about her while Balian knew nothing as of yet. Exhaling a shuddering breath Estrella continued to look forward, pushing all emotions and thoughts to the back of her mind. First things was to make sure that Reynald and Guy get the nose around their necks before she made the slip and leave everyone for good.

The small court yard was filled with Balian's men, Baldwin, Saladin, Imad, Nasir, and several others she didn't know nor care to know. She nodded to Baldwin who nods in return, looking towards Tiberius who nodded and walked into the door behind him. Estrella didn't go any further, wanting to stay in the back so she can make her quick escape but also not see the men she's hated for so long. She tensed up when several guards brought out Reynald and Guy, looking ragged and homeless basically. Immediately Guy's eyes found hers and narrowed into slits, shouting insults and curses in French at her, Estrella not paying much attention to the man.

Once on the raised platform both men started yelling about God, justice, infidel's, and other things that didn't matter to the group as they glared at the two dishonorable men. Tiberius spoke loudly to the two vile men as the guards placed a noose, speaking of crimes they have committed, what was about to be committed with Balian and Estrella. The young woman turned when the guards pushed them towards the edge of the platform, feeling the bile making its way up from her stomach. She has seen death before, has even killed herself, but when she was seeing it from someone else doing it Estrella didn't have the stomach to look.

"I'm going to go," she told Balian and Hospitaler, whom both turned to her in concern. "I-I can't be here and watch it."

Balian reached a hand out to her, touching her pale cheek. "I'll go with you–"

"No," Estrella shook her head, looking up at the man she loved, trying her hardest to smile but failing miserably. "I'll be fine, I promise. You know that I can't stand watching men die from hanging–even when they do deserve it."

At his nod he dropped his hand back to his side, Estrella holding back all emotion as she stared into his brown eyes. That was the one thing that she loved about Balian. Despite looking like Orlando Bloom–identical to the man who played his character–getting to know the character was what truly made her fall in love with him, not his looks; it never was his looks.

'Goodbye my love,' Estrella thought as she walked away, turning her back to love. 'Lord, please keep Balian safe and let him find love with someone he deserves.'

Exhaling with a quiver Estrella pressed her lips together in hopes of keeping her sobs from making themselves known–not that anyone would hear with the shouts from Reynald and Guy as well as Tiberius' voice rising over theirs. She needed to hold it together, not wanting any suspicion from those she was leaving behind. The woman wasn't sure how it was that she got to the stables, but she found herself getting Elligero ready, her bags waiting patiently to be placed on the large horse to ride as far as she possibly can. Estrella got on the waiting horse and rode out of the stables and into the midmorning sun, looking down at the stable boy shoveling manure into a barrel. She whistled to him, calling him over. The boy frowned but did what was bid of him, standing nervously at the woman he knew that was favored by the king.

"I need you to give these letters addressed accordingly." Estrella held out four letters to the boy, whom quickly took them. "Wait until I leave the court yard before finding these men–I am sure they are all with each other in the private court yard. Tell the guards that want to stop you that I, Estrella, said for you to deliver them. Understand?"

"M-my-my lady," the boy bowed, taking the letters from her.

Nodding Estrella pulled up her hood and was about to leave when her hand caught the ring in her right hand. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision, as she took off the ring. She gave it to the boy, who frowned and awed at the beautiful item he's ever seen.

"Give that to Balian as well. Tell him that it belongs to his family, not to me."

At his nod Estrella turned away and made Elligero go into a trot, needing to get away as quickly possible. Her heart broke as she passed the gates, finally letting the tears go and the sobs wracking her body as she held them back as she passed through the market, being careful but quickly as well. Once outside the city of Jerusalem Estrella turned Elligero west and rode hard, finally letting the sobs take over, making her lean over Elligero's neck in hopes of staying on. It hurt, it truly hurt, but she wasn't supposed to be there. She was never supposed to love.

D5D5D5D5D5

"My Lord Baldwin," the king those around him turned to a couple of guards bringing a shaking boy holding something close to his chest, his eyes wide. "This stable boy tells us he needs to deliver some letters–per the Lady Estrella's request."

Everyone frowned, Balian walking next to the king. "Tell us, who the letters are for?"

The boy visibly gulped nervously, bowing at the king before looking at the letters in his hand. "I have one for you, my King, one for Lord Balian, one to her friends that saved her first, and one to the Muslim family."

Frowning Baldwin takes the letters as Balian's heart started beating faster and faster at what he felt is happening. Something didn't feel right this morning with Estrella but she gave no sign that something was wrong. But with her not there–despite her being sick of watching Guy and Reynald hang–it could only mean one thing. He took the letter meant for him and stared at his name scrawled on the folded parchment. It hurt, it truly did, for Estrella to leave all that she's known, but her friends and family as well.

"She also gave me this ring to give to you, Lord Balian, saying that it belongs in your family."

Balian takes hold of the ring he's seen her wear all day except when fighting. Only then did she place it in a leather string and placed it around her neck. The silver shined brightly in the sun as the sapphire winked as he rolled it around in his fingers. The hand that was holding the letter fisted, his hurt turning into anger.

"How long ago did she leave?"

"Half past sunrise,"

Nodding Balian sprinted off, angry that woman would leave just like that and fearful that he would never see her again. As soon as he caught her he was going demand what she was thinking, then kiss her to make her realize that they can't live without each other. Balian just hoped that he wasn't too late.

After passing the letters to those who were for, Baldwin decides to read his letter in private, knowing that he needed his private quarters. Hospitaler, Ja, Philip, and Seifer stood together as they read the letter, shaking their head at how the woman said goodbye to them. There was a small note for Ramiro and the men needed to find him so that he can receive the message they all knew he needed to hear. Hospitaler sighed and looked at his brothers-in-arms with disappointment. But since they were gone a long time from Estrella's life that it was a wonder she didn't personally tell them goodbye, or even realize that she was having problems to the point of leaving someone they all knew she loved deeply.

D5D5D5D5D5

Estrella sighed against the wind, her tears cooling against her heated skin as the ship she was on sailed north. It took almost all day to get to the edge of the sea and paying for the last ship traveling north for the day. She felt something at the back of her neck and she turned towards the shore she just left five minutes ago. She saw Balian staring towards her, feeling the confusion and anger even from over a body of water. She didn't know how long he was standing there, watching her, wondering what he had done wrong. Though, if he read the letter she wrote Balian would know that it was never him doing anything wrong. She wish she can tell him the truth of who she is, where she came from, but it was a risky move–one that can possibly change everything again.

"Goodbye," she whispered into the wind, turning her back on happiness.

Balian had raced north after packing a small bag quickly, knowing that she would be leaving Jerusalem. He had just missed her and the ship she was on, he knew as he can tell by the silhouette upon the front of the ship sailing away from him. He saw her turn and a whisper was in the air that sounded like a farewell before turning her back on him–on love and a future they could have.

Angry Balian turns from the ship and made his way over to the harbormaster, who was getting ready to leave. "When is the next boat to leave north?"

The pudgy man looked over to him, fixing his bag over his shoulder. "That was the last one of the day. The next one won't be until sunrise tomorrow."

Balian turned angrily towards the ship in the distance, almost becoming a speck against the setting sun as darkness started to engulf the world. He would have to stay in the healing house his father had died in until morning. He wasn't going to give up on them, if that's why Estrella thought. No, it took too long for him to realize his love for her and he wasn't about to abandon her any time soon. Even if she did feel like she had to.